Do I really need a range hood?
SEE OUR FINISHED KITCHEN HERE!
I need to tell you my deepest darkest kitchen secret:
I do not like a range hood.
I hate them all.
I particularly detest the massive monument-to-wasted-space that has become a bizarre status symbol; like mounting a Range Rover over your stove.
Sure, you can choose one that is low-profile, but that would be in direct opposition to the opportunity to install an oversized jet-engine, directly in the place your face goes while standing at the stove.
Although obviously, (like any sensible person) I would trade a good portion of my soul for this kitchen.
Those sentences above areĀ the beginning of a post I started months agoā¦ Back when I thought I could withstand the scorn of the internet if I chose to not waste money and space onĀ an appliance that I will never use.
However.
I have since begun to fear the wrath of the Appropriate-Cooking-Evaluators: a band of angry militants who patrol the internet for violations which offend them personally; and who believe that forgoing a direct-vented range hood is akin to voluntarily injecting yourself with Ebola virusā unbelievably stupid.
Like this kitchen below– so terrible! Let’s take a moment to reflect on how badly we feel for these people that their kitchen is so subpar!
Iām practically BLIND FROM HOW HORRIBLE THIS IS.
So whyĀ would I considerĀ an about-face from hood-denier to herd-animal; when my preferred response to scorn and judgment is always to dig in my heels and run forward towards the executioner?
I guess the internet has broken me.
Specifically, a particular element to the internet that pervades every single topic that people can possibly form an opinion about: the mindset that there is ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY to do something that has zero impact on anyone else’s life.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY people believe ONE THING, and then that is ALL THEY BELIEVE and they make it their lifeās work to make sure anyone not doing THE WAY is immediately disqualified from life, clapped in irons, and dragged to the town square to be flogged for idiocy.
Which, upon reflection, is the source of all human conflict through history: your own opinions are fine, but other peopleās are moronic and intolerable and deserving of the flaming cannonballs with chains.
Unless they happen to agree with you, in which case they are well-informed.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY peopleās initial input is well-meaning! (If bordering on didactic and unhinged.)
But if you fail to PROPERLY HEED THEIR WARNING AND APPRECIATE THEIR WISDOMā¦they become enraged.
WHY! Why would someone WHO HAS BEEN WARNED!! Fail to instal a direct-vent range hood???
Look at THESE IDIOTS! Living without a range hood!
Imbeciles!
Ā
I am thinking specifically of a kitchen-chatboard thread, where a woman explained that it was IMPOSSIBLE to direct-vent her range hood. And she wondered if (seeing as how she couldnāt direct vent,) could she just skip the questionably-effective-substitute-which-is-essentially-just-a-fan and install a light fixture she had fallen in love with.
It was the light fixture of her dreams! A design element that would bring her peace and joy and goodwill towards all! A lamp that would improve her very existence on earth and she could die happy because SHE HAD THE BEST LAMP.
The responses variedā¦ but there were an ALARMING number of respondents who were EXTREMELY BOTHERED by the fact that this woman was not gutting her kitchen to the studs and reconfiguring everything towards the goal of direct-venting the range hoodā¦ and she should probably just go out and rent a bulldozer THAT VERY NIGHT and knock it all down to the ground while flagellating herself for having considered any other option.
Ā
They basically went on to suggest that she was a filthy, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron.
And as I read on and on and onā¦ I have to tell you that I was AMAZED at the PASSION total strangers were bringing to disparaging this woman and her lamp… I mean, who has time for lengthy screeds decrying other people’s DESIGN CHOICES?
And then I was EVEN MORE AMAZED at how these people do not realize that they look like flaming lunatics.
My FAVORITE response was from a woman who wrote:
This one time, we didnāt have a range hood, and we had to THROW AWAY ALL OF OUR BELONGINGS INCLUDING THE FURNITURE after one monthĀ BECAUSE THEY SMELLED SO FOUL AND HORRIBLEĀ from non-vented cooking odors.
I donāt know about youā¦ but that does NOT sell me on a ventā¦ it DOES, however, make me wonder WHAT THIS WOMAN IS MAKING FOR DINNER.
Anyway. All of this is to explain that I do not want a range hood.
But that I am thinking about it anyway.
Because of the internet.
And I am mad about it.
The way Iāve decided to deal with this irritating anxiety that MY kitchen in MY house designed to MY preferences might draw the ire of some random stranger on the internet is to turn it over to you.
Here’s what you need to know: our township construction code does not require one. I will not have an eight-burner stove outgassing 67 billion btu’s/therms/whatever other specs.
Ok! GO FOR IT!
This is your chance!
I WASH MY HANDS.
And if you fail to draw me out from the cave and convince me of the shadows on the wall, then you must return to your war room and inform the other ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY-ers that your method is flawed.
Please make a good argument! Definitely do not include information like this: you NEED a hood!
Because: SURPRISE! I do not!
I can prove that to you because we HAD a hood! It was direct-vented!
And I NEVER USED IT.
I never used it SO MUCH that I had Paul take it out.
Every single night I was likeā WHY IS THIS THING RIGHT IN MY FACE?
Until eventually I was like– Plague of nonsense, BE GONE!
p.s.ā save some outrage for the post where I explain how Iām thinking of not having a freezer.
xoxo,
VEB, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron, esq.
December 15, 2016 @ 9:27 am
I’m like the demented woman who had to throw away her smelly furniture- I have a sensitive nose. I don’t cook odiferous foods, I just don’t like the odors cooking leaves behind. Especially bacon! I’ve been known to wake from a deep sleep and run out to the kitchen to stop the sneaky ninja who thought they’d cook bacon in my house while I didn’t notice – failed mission for my daughter. So a strong fan was really important to me. I got a decent one but I’d really prefer the kind that sucks my hair up too… I cannot fathom why you don’t want an food-odor free kitchen but I agree the photos you posted of vent-free stoves are beautiful. Proposal: suit yourself and just endure the next generation can add one if they must.
I can’t wait to see your kitchen!!
December 15, 2016 @ 9:32 am
*ensure, I mean!
December 15, 2016 @ 9:46 am
i LOVE these comments. we should have VEB clubs in cities where we can meet like minded people. Twice a year we can rent limos to take us to the best yard sales.
My kitchen comment, apropos of nothing here: I am stuck on that wicker island. What could they have possibly been thinking?
December 15, 2016 @ 10:10 am
This is exactly the kind of thing that drives me insane. Insaner. Who the fuck do these people think they are to tell ANY ONE what to do with their property?!
It’s your house, do what makes you happy.
December 15, 2016 @ 10:17 am
I didn’t have a stove vent for years. Then we got an industrial six burner gas stove. come to find out, I was poisoning the entire family with carbon monoxide every time I canned. At the time, canning was a pretty frequent thing. Stove vent made a huge difference. I think it had more to do with using 4 burners once, for hours at a time, and using really large pots. Obviously not your average persons typical use, but a thought to add. Also, I love your blog so much. Thanks for sharing your giant fancy personality with the world.
December 15, 2016 @ 10:32 am
I didn’t want a hood in my 116 year old house either, but I knew from not having an exhaust fan that the kitchen walls, etc… get steamy and dirty. Our contractor put one in the 10 foot ceiling and created a very vintage looking cover. Looks fabulous and is very functional.
December 15, 2016 @ 10:37 am
LOL! The internet never ceases to amaze me with the passion other people’s design selections seems to arouse from people, or by the “experts” that come out of the corners to proclaim that what you are doing is wrong…not because they’ve had training of any kind, but rather because they’ve read it so many times on the internet.
You absolutely do not need a range hood over your stove. However, you should be prepared for the inevitable occurrence of a smoke-filled kitchen at some point. I’d recommend some kind of low-profile ceiling vent, something similar to what one might install in a bathroom. That way it is available should you find you do need a vent to rid yourself of smells or smoke.
I’m completely with you in your dislike of range hoods. I think they’re horrible looking. If I had my way, I wouldn’t have one in my own kitchen. However, my kitchen is small, less than 10×10, and I needed somewhere to put the microwave that was out of the way. As much as I would have preferred to have it elsewhere, everywhere else I tried to design space for it eliminated space for much needed other things, so it ended up over the stove. Not beautiful or ideal, but it works…at least until I convince my darling husband that we don’t need a microwave at all!! LOL Fat chance!!!
Don’t give into the internet “experts” who say you need one. It’s your kitchen, and none of them will be cooking in it!
December 15, 2016 @ 11:30 am
By all means, go without a range hood.
I don’t have one now but I have had kitchens in the past where they were installed.
Like you, I never used one.
It’s easier to wash down walls and cupboards occasionally than deal with the nasty collection of grease that constantly hovers over your cooking surface in a range hood, no matter how often you clean it – and how often are they cleaned anyway?
December 15, 2016 @ 12:39 pm
I have lived with and without a range hood and if God loves me I will never be without ever again!! Lingering food smells in other parts of the house after cooking and eating highly offend me. I can’t help it. We live in a ranch and if my guy cooks without using the hood I can smell food in the bedroom afterwards. Yuuck!! We cook alot! So for us the range is a must. i don’t want my guests to smell like a diner when they leave my house. We eat good healthy food but cooking creates good and bad smells. Just sayn’
December 15, 2016 @ 12:45 pm
I have a range hood, it came with the house. I use it very rarely. Half the time I don’t even remember that I have it. If you don’t routinely burn things or don’t fry things then you won’t need it. And aren’t you vegetarian? I would think you would never need/use it.
And since when do you care what the internets think?
Go with your heart girl. That picture with the mirror behind the stove is gorgeous and screams Victoria.
December 15, 2016 @ 1:00 pm
I’m not a fan of those big hood vents. Maybe it’s because I’m tall but all I ever see is a surface that has sticky dust on it. Right now I have a microwave over my stove and the vent is under that so it’s super low-profile (flush with the cabinets) but I can vent when I burn stuff. My house does not smell of food at all and I cook a lot of fish, broccoli, and cauliflower. I like the stinky foods. Bring on the cabbage!
My Mom has one of those down vents on her stove and I wouldn’t recommend that only because it ended up being kind of a pain when she had to replace her stove. But it’s an option if you want to go hoodless.
I’ll kick up the shock factor a notch. I’m not a big fan of the stainless steel finish kitchen appliances. I think they are a big ole fad. I’m perfectly happy with my classic white appliances. I think they look clean and don’t stand out much. Why do I want my refrigerator, stove, and dishwasher to “pop” in my kitchen? I’d even like those cabinet fronts that hide them all together. Let’s pretend like I don’t have to do any chores in this room, hmm?
December 15, 2016 @ 1:06 pm
I’m reading through these and I’m gobsmacked that one of the uses of a vent is to have on every time you cook. I didn’t know people that. I’ve only ever used it when I had smoke goin’ on in the kitchen. I can’t stand the noise they make. I guess it all matters how you are sensitive. If you don’t like smells, you need the vent. If you never notice the smells, don’t have the vent or get one that is invisible (down vent on the stove) and use it only when you need it.
December 15, 2016 @ 1:49 pm
This could be my favorite rant of all time! You crack me up! There are times I have wanted to reach in the computer and say – No! Wait! Victoria! See sense, but then I realize your free spirit must never be leashed and what fun would blog reading be anyway?
In this case I totally agree you should not vent your stove, but keep venting to your readers. Please do! I have a stupid hood,light, fan contraption that goes with my stove top, and does absolutely nothing out the grease from the air but that is certainly not effective in any big way either. The light is like a night light – doesnt help with anything. The untalented designer who thought this contraption up, also put all of this under a microwave, which IS indispensible. But the space above is for a size that no microwave manufacturer deems worthy anymore. So when the microwave broke, what a demon to get a replacement that didnt look ridiculous.
I wish I had time to read all the other comments….i’ll save to give me a laugh after Christmas!
December 15, 2016 @ 2:02 pm
Ah to vent or not to vent
Ask yourself, do I cook? If your answer is by way of local take out then by all means don’t vent. If your answer is I love to tear it up in my kitchen and 20,000 but’so makes me giddy you had best have a vent that works and not one that pretends, but one that actually vents yo the outside
December 15, 2016 @ 2:22 pm
I’m with you in not seeing the point in range hoods. We have a top of the line hood, and I never switch it on. Granted, I am not the regular cook at the house, but it still happens with frequent enough regularity. And no one can tell the difference when I’ve cooked versus someone else who did indeed remember to switch the darn thing on. Like I get what it is supposed to do, but that doesn’t change the reality of what I am going to do (i.e. forget about it), or the reality that it makes very little difference.
That being said, we live in an old, 1850s home. We are building a vacation home. That home will have a vent and I plan to try to remember to use it. New homes, particularly the insulated within an inch of its life one we are building, are MUCH tighter than old homes. Part of enjoying the lovely interior air quality that comes with this is making sure you vent out anything that does not belong.
And I also plan to always have a vent hood at my current house, even if I don’t use it. Because I think cabinetry over a stove looks heavy and weird, and without that, you are left with a blank space between cabinets (unless the stove is, for example, between two windows, in which case, go wild). In nearly every pic you posted, people had STUFF hung right over their stove to fill that empty space. I am NOT cleaning stuff above a stove. I’m a fan of clear surfaces and as little work to do in a kitchen as possible.
If you do decide to go with a hood, I think there are plenty of options that suit your style. What about an old oil painting hung on the hood cover? Like this: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/333266441148610077/ Or get Paul working on his masonry skills with something like this: http://www.houzz.com/photos/12978187/Terraced-house-kitchen-victorian-kitchen-other
December 15, 2016 @ 3:22 pm
I have been reading & laughing through your blog for a long time now but this is the first time I’ve left a reponse. It might be interesting to decipher why this topic elicits a reply but here goes… the only vent I would consider, if I had my wish, (and I do not, sad to say) is one in the range; therefore, NOT a hood but a vent. Good luck.
December 15, 2016 @ 3:39 pm
#1- You kill me, I cannot get enough of your posts and am convinced if you lived anywhere within 2 hours of San Diego we would be forever friends.
#2- Do whatever the hell you want with your OWN kitchen!! Shame on the internet for trolling people about their design choices. Who are they? The kitchen police? I think not…or if they are I hope they never see my kitchen because guess what? We committed the ultimate crime & live without one as well!
It wasn’t actually a choice…when I moved in with the boy his house had a hole in the ceiling above the stove that was covered over with a budweiser box stapled to the ceiling (insert horror & shame here!). Said beer box hole has since been plastered and painted over of course ;). Now…would I install one if I had a choice? Probably. Have I thrown anything out because of cooking odors? hell no! I live for my antique and thrifty finds…aint nobody takin those treasures away! I instead use 2 shaper image metal grid air purifiers around the kitchen when It’s particularly bad…the smell is gone by morning. + I’ve found the best candles on earth and they make my house smell lovely & fresh all the time!
December 15, 2016 @ 3:58 pm
I have a range hood, because it’s required by law where I live. When I had one that direct vented, I used it fairly frequently: it did a tremendous job of clearing smoke, steam, and odors before they got annoying. Since then, I’ve only had the ones that recirculate air into the room, and I almost never use them.
The one time that I find the non-venting kind useful is if I’m cooking something that produces a lot of steam, since I can redirect the steam and heat away from my face. Other than that, they’re not great. And cleaning the “filter” is pretty gross, especially when it’s in a house you just moved into, and has been used by other people. (I recommend thick rubber gloves, strong detergent, and a call to someone who can sell you a new one.)
December 15, 2016 @ 4:29 pm
I took my range hood out about 20 years ago plus very useful cupboards on either side to get a clear open space between my tiny kitchen and tiny dining room. I needed the openness and it improved the whole look and flow of people being able to talk and make eye contact. BUT sometimes I miss it when I am frying something or cooking something stinky like onions or cabbage. I’ve considered a down draft fan but I don’t know where to get one, nor can I spare the cupboard space to vent it to the outside. I fantasize about a retractable hood but I don’t think there is such a thing and if there is, how do you clean it? Currently my modus operandi is to alter our diet to what I’m willing to cook inside and unvented.
December 15, 2016 @ 5:10 pm
I recommend checking to see what your jurisdiction’s building code requirements are for ventilation. If there are any, it’s better to hear about them before you finish your design.
December 15, 2016 @ 5:30 pm
You had me u til no freezer. Where, pray tell, will you keep an unending supply of ice cream?? I need it more than I need air most days.
If you plan to cook something that will produce tons of smoke etc, just set up a small portable fan and shoot that stuff to a window or door. Done and done. (Mic drop here)
December 15, 2016 @ 7:01 pm
I think everything that could be said, has been said, so you don’t need my two cents worth; I do not like hoods either, but I cook at lot of grilling on the top of the stove, cast iron grill things, large and smaller, and I get a lot of greasy dusty gunk on the kitchen without a hood, did not realize there was a ceiling exhaust unit that would be suitable, which for my 2 cents worth is probably the solution.