My people… If I could lock you in my basement, I would.
I have never once in my entire life done anything practical.
I have spent 36 years wearing a superhero cape and telling people I have magical powers.
I have leaped off more buildings than I can count.
Screaming—I’M SUPERMAN.
And then crashing into the pavement.
It has given me all kinds of problems.
Not to mention whiplash.
And also the realization that I lack the gene to learn from my mistakes.
In its place, I got an extra gene. Of self-delusion.
The ability to cling to an idea regardless of reality.
Q: Where did Rocky get the Kingdom mirror?
Rocky does clean-outs. It was in a storage unit.
Q: How tall? Slightly over 8′. Ceiling is 9′.
I started this blog with the conviction that people would find me via magic and unicorns.
And the disparity between what my imagination had planned, and actual reality?
Has been a little soul-crushing.
And irritating.
Not to mention how unicorns are totally unreliable. Flaky.
So distracted by rainbows and deep-conditioning their manes.
But I have told myself that if I JUST KEPT GOING. It would be worth it.
After all, my parents promised me that hard work always pays off.
Although, I don’t think they took into consideration how one day I might wake up and decide to spend all my free time doing what is essentially quirky performance-art for strangers.
That’s what blogging is: the millennium-version of mimes. You don’t see those people anymore, do you? No. You don’t. They all went home and washed their faces and started a blog.
The story of the mirror in the foyer is here. If you want to know how we mounted it to the wall.
For an entire year, I have been standing on your lawn in my mime-outfit.
In the rain and the snow.
Believing that if I loved you enough.
SURELY YOU WOULD LOVE ME BACK.
But sometime in the last few months, I started to doubt my plan.
I was cold. And tired. And it was like you didn’t even see me.
Was I at the right house?
Were you away?
And I started to notice that there were all kinds of other mimes on your lawn.
Squatters. Vying for your attention.
Some of them had way nicer leotards than me.
I wanted to kick them all in the shin.
Until last Tuesday. When the unicorns FINALLY showed up.
It would be impossible for me to overstate my euphoria.
Which for most people translates into gratitude to a higher power… and for me, translates into wanting to lock you all in my basement so you can never leave me.
For a week, I did nothing but sit in front of my pageview-counter and hit refresh.
Refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh.
Refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh.
REFRESH.
REFRESH.
It was the most productive week of my life.
I totally abandoned all pretense of real work. Or real life. Or real anything.
I am the last person on the planet who has actual paperwork to deal with, and I just lit it on fire.
I stopped answering email.
I ate peanut butter out of the jar and let the laundry pile up.
I did not shower or brush my teeth.
When people asked me if I’d finished x or y or z.
I just screamed at them—MY BLOG!!!!
MY PEOPLE.
THEY EXIST.
And if they didn’t understand, I tried to convey my sheer, overwhelming joy, through interpretative dance.
Every single thing that I have ever failed to do has been rectified by the fact that 55,000 people shared me on Facebook.
If that doesn’t make sense to you, that’s fine. But this is a blog about me.
The people I’ve been looking for ALL MY LIFE.
Actually exist.
They feel that they ARE me.
And I am them.
This is going in my file titled: proof.
Proof of what exactly? I don’t know.
Proof, which Paul points out is both unpaid, AND has me awake at three A.M.
Manic and clutching my phone to see if anyone else liked me on Facebook.
If YOU are one of the twenty-seven billion people on Facebook who have NOT liked me?
I don’t know why you would do that to yourself.
You can go ahead and fix that right now.
I spent the first three days swinging from the chandelier. And throwing myself on the floor in delight. And jumping up and doing it again. Because with me, once is never enough.
All day, and all night, I hunched over my keyboard. Rubbing my hands together and mumbling: come on baby. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me.
Biting my nails that the highlight of my entire life was happening RIGHT NOW.
And trying to divide 55,000 Facebook shares into the scope of human existence.
By the fifth day. I was mostly sitting in a corner. Rocking back-and-forth and sobbing.
Because nothing this good will ever happen again.
Basically, my life is over.
Like if Christmas only came once in your entire life.
And after that, you had to live in a dark hole.
No matter HOW GOOD the presents were?
I don’t think anyone would be very excited about that.
I will love you EVEN MORE… if you share me with your friends.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:18 am
Yesterday, I read a face book post about how she was questioning if there is any relevance to blogging. Than I read your huge mirror blog post via a facebook share and found the answer for that question “is blogging frivolous?”. Your words make me laugh out loud and I can so identify with your thoughts and feelings on finding an amazing treasure. Been there and done that, only you expressed it in the way I never could. You bring joy and laughter to so many. Thank you 🙂
July 2, 2013 @ 11:19 am
Victoria, You are just plain “Refreshing” ! Your writing is quirky and fun.
Now that the word is out, you will be writing a decorating book in no time. “Lighthearted decorated adventures from across the pond.” Too long? Perhaps “Paul’s Paradise”
“Shabby Chic has nothing on you sister.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:19 am
I am like you, love to look for that treasure out there that someone has overlooked, yes craiglist, estate sales, garage sales and flea markets are my favorites. I too drag my husband with me on some trips and yes he has to haul those treasures sometimes too. So I relate to you and find you in a sisterhood of lost children looking for that treasure out there that is yours and you got there first. Love your enthusiasm.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:19 am
Victoria, congratulations on your newly-found and well deserved fame. I shared your Kingdom Mirror post and facebook liked you last week because you, girl, are refreshing, refreshing, refreshing. . .
July 2, 2013 @ 11:20 am
Yes, we Exist! And we love your Blog! Congrats!!! BTW, I am totally obsessed with the Narnia door…..we looked at a house (didn’t buy it) that had a Narnia door and that is the only reason I am sad we didn’t get that house. On the upside though, I got a laundry chute instead. Wonder if I can Narnia-that up somehow? 🙂
July 2, 2013 @ 11:22 am
I don’t know about all the others, but I suspect that many of them found you through Glennon @ Momastery. She of the eleventy billion followers.
I love Glennon with the heat of a thousand suns and if she says someone is worth reading, I read.
And your blog has proven to me that she is right, once again. I immediately added your blog to my reader and I look forward to following your adventures for a long time.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:23 am
I was worried too that you were saying that you weren’t going to blog any longer. So glad that you are, I love your writing style – have been having fun going through past posts. You make me smile!
July 2, 2013 @ 12:08 pm
Where do I start. I found your blog via another blogger. I somewhere from a normal every day read fell down the rabbitt hole and landed in a magical place. I spent lost hours reading and laughing about giant mirrors and home projects. We all have home projects but yours are dusted with some magical, quirky, funfilled, makes you happy, never want to leave dust. I am a new email following fan. You my dear are a wordsmith
July 2, 2013 @ 11:23 am
You validate all the thoughts & ideas of a creative mind at work. Your openness about the emotional roller coaster that one rides when in process is so comforting. Those that sit in judgment of creative visionaries have just been bitch-slapped (pardon my candor) by the sheer volume of your 55,000 peers. We are strong and we are banding together. Look out you nay-sayers!!
July 2, 2013 @ 11:23 am
Congratulations on your much deserved success!!! Your new followers are equally excited about finding you.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:24 am
While part of me is insanely jealous (coming up on two years of waiting for MY unicorn), a (better) part of me is insanely encouraged: Yes, people will read actual writing about home renovation. There is an audience comprised of those who want more than pretty pictures of chevron and spray-painted furniture. Faith is great, but I love proof. Thanks for giving me some.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:24 am
I found your blog about a month ago and started following you then. I admit, I linked to you on Pinterest. You’ve got a unique eye. And you are (at least on paper) living the life I hope to be living very soon.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:24 am
There is something that separates your blog from the masses. You can write. And you clearly take the writing seriously. I bet (and I speak from experience as a college composition teacher) that you actually write more than one draft before publishing. Ahhhh. Sweet relief.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:26 am
What Vy said in her 11:05 comment? Me, too. All of it. I’m one of the 55,000, and you instantly became my favorite blogger ever. You’re so far out ahead of the pack you’ve lapped them six times. So keep on keepin’ on. We’re out here even if you can’t see us.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:27 am
I too somehow came across your blog post about craiglist finds. I loved it and then read everything regarding your home renovation. Love you bathroom reno, it is now perfect. I can’t wait until you do your kitchen. I just read about meeting your husband and enjoyed the wedding pics. You shy?? I would never have thought this. Enjoy reading your blog and seeing the pics of your home. Keep them coming.
Linda from Arkansas
July 2, 2013 @ 11:28 am
You are fabulous. And honest about your desire for fame (I’ll be honest too, but I don’t think it’ll have the same effect), and are a fabulous writer. Great success and just another bit of ammunition next time you need to go collect a 15 foot mirror from Craigslist… “it’s for the blog.”
July 2, 2013 @ 11:29 am
I am so happy to have discovered your blog. You had be laughing so hard my eyes were watering… and of course then I went and explored and read your other posts and now I am definitely here to stay!
July 2, 2013 @ 11:31 am
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! So glad to see you blowing up all of the place. Well deserved!
July 2, 2013 @ 11:31 am
When we found you because of the AT Homies we knew it would only be a matter of time until your unicorns arrived, and there’s little that makes us happier. The fact that you own an old house and are putting your heart and soul into its restoration makes you an outlier among the blogging world, with so many MCM aesthetics and thrifted chevron and burlap tchotchkes whipped up for the purpose of “the blog.” You are working on a larger goal, and something that we value and identify with. The simple fact that you’re a self described delusional, well, you (and we) can’t do the type of work we’re doing without being a little bit delusional, and more specifically, delusions of capabilities that we can ultimately see through to implementation. Those of us that like old things are a bit of an exception to the rule, but getting traction like you’ve received in the last week allows you and your blog to take a step or two towards making the appreciation of these great things of the past just a little more accessible and “normal.” Congratulations on all of your hard work paying off. We’re glad to say “we knew you when.”
July 2, 2013 @ 3:30 pm
I totally agree with Alex (above)! When we bought our 1890 Farmhouse (almost 2 years ago) I knew it would take many many years to get it to the place we wanted it to be…we don’t have the money to get it there any faster & though our life is in a perpetual state of “in progress” – this is how it should be. Creating spaces, and fixing all those details takes time, and though it feels like everyone else just clapped their hands & had these glorious renovated homes…it really isn’t like that.
I look for old house people wherever I go, and like I’ve mentioned to you here before – I typically ramble them to death because I can’t imagine talking to them about anything else 🙂 You have found your people & I am happy to be one of them. And I don’t mind living through you in order to enjoy “your people” too 🙂 Enjoy! You deserve it!! xx
July 2, 2013 @ 11:37 am
And if we’re being honest….the smashing success of the blog may net you some local people who you could convince to help you move things, which may be compensation enough for Paul.
July 2, 2013 @ 11:38 am
I am in love with you! Well, not literally, but in a figurative sense! I found your blog through a random posting on FB several days ago and am totally smitten! You are quirky, nutty, and sarcastically hilarious…..which translates beautifully in your writing! Everything I aspire to be in my own blog…..just haven’t figured it out yet!!