Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didn’t have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she will always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didn’t know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I could… I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
It’s on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she was so excited that you were going to pet her… At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, so I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
I’ve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at first— the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now I’ve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when you have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 5:53 pm
So very, very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you are going through…I wish you peace and beautiful memories of Elvis, forever! I’m sending love your way, in waves.
August 9, 2016 @ 6:04 pm
So sorry for the loss of Elvis. I can tell from your video that Elvis was so loved. Looks like he had the run of the house. Since I live over the Moon River bridge, the song had a bittersweet note. Your huckleberry friend, indeed…..
Go ahead and grieve the way we all do when we lose a beloved pet…it is so hard….
August 9, 2016 @ 6:13 pm
So very very sorry. Grief sucks.
August 9, 2016 @ 6:13 pm
So sorry, love. It IS a horrible system.
August 9, 2016 @ 6:15 pm
Elizabeth & Paul, I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing Elvis with us and showing us such a loving tribute for your fur baby.
August 9, 2016 @ 6:23 pm
Didn’t make it thru the video. Already sniffling about a cat I never met. it was enough to just know her thru your stories and photos.
The day our last cat died, I saw her ghost. She showed up for her nightly treat (I bribed her to go downstairs at night instead of shredding furniture while we slept),she turned and lead the way to the treats. My only ghost sighting was a cat named Shredder who earned that name for shredding my arm twice the first week we had her.
I wish you peace and loving memories.
August 9, 2016 @ 6:25 pm
Victoria & Paul, so sorry on the loss of Elvis. There’s nothing like a Tuxedo, they are so full of personality! Thanks for the video, she was great! I hope memories of Elvis make you smile more and more each day.
August 9, 2016 @ 6:29 pm
Tears flowing here. So so sorry to hear about your sweet beloved little kitty.our flower garden is near to full with our sweeties, a sweet Meg Cavalier, a canary, Hermit our black kitty, and believe it or not our 4 sweet pet hens. And of course all animals go to heaven.xxxxx
August 9, 2016 @ 6:55 pm
Sitting here in Brisbane Australia weeping for Elvis and thinking of all our beloved animals that have died over the years…which makes me weep harder. Then I think of you and Paul and your emotions and how bereft you both are and I weep even harder……I’m a mess! I am so sorry love to you both from Down Under.
August 9, 2016 @ 6:57 pm
I am so sorry for your incredible loss. I don’t know what your views on heaven are, but I know that someday we can be with those we love, forever and I think that includes animals as well.
August 9, 2016 @ 7:05 pm
I’m crushed. I don’t know you except for your blog, and you don’t know me, but my heart aches for you.
August 9, 2016 @ 7:05 pm
Victoria, I am so sorry. There is nothing like the love we share with our fur babies and the love we get back. I liked your analogy of the wheelbarrow of grief. Very true!
Try to hang in there and know that Elvis knew you were with her all the way.❤️
August 9, 2016 @ 7:06 pm
My heart hurts for you. Hugs from one of your faithful readers.
August 9, 2016 @ 7:13 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. Dues in the “Rainbow Bridge” club are sometimes more than we can stand to pay. I’m so happy to have been able to know her through your stories. Please know that her cuteness and sweetness, and your love for her has been witnessed, and I hope you are kind to yourself while you are learning to move through the world with your changed reality.
August 9, 2016 @ 7:18 pm
I know all about that damn tent, its the worst. Every single time one of my dogs has died I have wailed and sobbed in such terrific form and volume it would put a professional mourner to shame. I feel like I’m suffocating, and I swear I’ll never own another animal again. But a month or so later I start the cycle all over again by bringing home a little ball of fluff because the truth is, I can’t live without them. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, but I truly believe that all those fuzzy critters are waiting in heaven for us and when you get there Elvis will be there in fabulous form just aching to feel your scritches again. Hang in there and know we’re rooting for you.
Mandy
August 9, 2016 @ 7:29 pm
I am SO very sorry and sad to hear this. I lost my Patches, a very uniquely marked black and white toy poodle, 2 years ago. I grieved more for her than a family member. She had been there for me for over 13 years. They take a piece of your ❤️ Our lives are so much richer because they passed our way. ??
August 9, 2016 @ 7:37 pm
I am amazed by how upset I am over the loss of Elvis. It has been a very difficult day anyway, and then I received your email. I’ve lost several pets over the years, and it never gets easier. My heart and love are with you and Paul, and with Elvis, of course. I believe that our animals have souls, and she will remain with you until you leave these plane. I hope that gives you comfort…
August 9, 2016 @ 7:56 pm
I’m so very sorry for your loss. You did a wonderful job of capturing Elvis’ personality in the video. She seemed adorable and was obviously very well loved.
We lost our English setter Shelby to cancer 6 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. She will always have a rather large portion of my heart. It is better now then the first year of her passing. My husband pushed for us to get another dog. We ended up with two. I love them. They are my constant goofball companions but I will always still miss my heart, my Shelby.
My deepest sympathies
C
August 9, 2016 @ 7:56 pm
Oh man. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Loss IS so overwhelming and unbelievably sad. Time proceeds on without compassion. That is our responsibility. Apply your stubbornness with zeal towards that task.
August 9, 2016 @ 8:42 pm
I’m sharing your loss right now too, we had to release our 16 year old Jack Russell to heaven this past Sunday. We were prepared for her body to go, but not for the huge empty space that was left where her soul used to be .