FANCY KITCHEN COUNTERTOP EDGES… let’s talk ogee, laminate, and CRAZY thick.
Because I am a feisty prairie woman of grit and determination, I have hauled home a stoneyard’s worth of marble and slate.
here is our slate
here is our marble
I prize it.
Along with my fine collection of burlap sacks.
But because I married a fancypants townman… every time I try to talk to him about gettin’ this here stone ogeed… his eyes roll back in his head and he gets the vapors.
Men.
Ain’t good for nothin’.
One of the three marble slabs we salvaged is JUST perfect for our grand piano kitchen island.
But the edges are unfinished.
Paul was all– bullnose?
The hopeful tone.
lol
havewemet
no
I thought I wanted Ogee… probably because that was the only word I knew.
An ogee is a curve (often used in molding), shaped like an S, consisting of two arcs that curve in opposite directions.
Fortunately for Paul, they make plenty of DIY edge/profile grinding thing bits and attachments for stone!
I explained it to him, in case he didn’t understand: you just put the bit router thingy on the grinder machine doohickey… and just zip it along the edge… VOILLA!
Paul looked… enthused.
But before I ordered my professional countertop fabrication tools for my new career as Directrice of Stone… I remembered that the internet is full of rich people.
And they PAY people to think of ways to BE FANCY… in this case, STACKING fancy countertops, ON TOP OF MORE FANCY COUNTERTOPS.
The fact that I needed to be TOLD this.
Is DEEPLY embarrassing.
Self was like— oh. yes.
Those are my people.
Take me to them.
They (the rich people) add a piece of marble (or granite or quartz or whateverstone) under/along the edge of the actual countertop slab; stacking it, or even more invisible, a mitered edge.
They call it “laminating” the edges… which is a fancy way of saying glued, and shouldn’t be confused with actual laminate/formica countertops.
And for what it’s worth, WE HAVE SO MUCH MARBLE I COULD STACK LIKE 15 PIECES.
Roman Elite over Ogee, Elite over Full Bullnose, Elite over Ogee, Double Chisel, Ogee over Full Bullnose, any over Eased, Ogee over Half Bullnose, and Ogee over Ogee.
The options are endless.
I assume that if I stack more than 6 it will be fine to name it myself.
HOWEVER.
I could find no DIY.
None.
Zero.
Why must I be the one to think of EVERYTHING?
Important aside:
at first, the above photo, seemed to me, to be the bathroom of a person in the grip of a psychotic break; someone who wished to have chaos in every visual way possible.
But the more I looked at it, the more I was awed by their commitment TO HAVING AS MUCH FANCY AS POSSIBLE.
And actually, it’s outstanding.
Also outstanding:
this bathroom cost what?
Let’s say 12 million dollars…
… and they have vessel sinks.
lol
12 million dollars and you cannot wash your face without wanting to transform into a green bulging muscle monster while roaring: HULK NOT LIKE VESSEL SINK.
WHO DO THIS
ROAR
alsoonelastthingPaulsaysthatyoushouldrememberthepianoedgesarecurvedsowearetalkingjigsandpiecesandsomethingelseIforgetnowohwellit’sprobablynotimportant
Ok.
Now it is time for you to give back.
SURELY one of you has done this yourself and will tell me how simple!
Please begin.
Thanks!
Here is youtube of grinder wheel in action!
whichPaulsaysdoesnotcountbecuaseisbullnoseandnotogeeandwhenyoudoogeebutidontrememberwhyohwell
Here is video evidence of Paul’s ability to apply the laws of electricity to stone.
If you feel like weighing in on whether polishing the edge should happen all-as-one… to me, it seems our amateur skills would be better applied to two pieces separately… and stacking them visibly. That seems easier than trying to get one seamless surface.
Apparently, miter is out of the question because when I mentioned to Paul about a REALLY THICK MITER… he didn’t even use words, he just started laughing.
PS- one last thing: my next post is far too long… because, as the historian of The Nuclear War of Fanciness, I am required to record it in its entirety… I have edited and edited and edited… and I have arrived at a place where I simply am not permitted to remove any more.
This makes me sad, because this coming-post is my finest and most important work… my LIFE’S WORK… and it is simply TOO LONG BECAUSE INTERNET.
If this were 1867, on the other hand, people would be all– HAVE YOU READ THIS MAN VICTOR ELIZA BARNES?
SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN TOLSTOY AND HE GETS TO THE POINT ALREADY.
May 4, 2018 @ 11:57 am
Well I heartily appreciate the desire to DIY for so many reasons, be they driven by the desire to meet the goals of personal accomplishment, budget or whatever, if you are actually doing this for the first time, I am nervous for you. You have some gorgeous Stone, and if you do it improperly, you ruin the whole slab by chipping the edge. That would just stink. Or at least I would think you might think that. So my vote is to have somebody else do your edges. Someone who does this for a living. Who knows the foibles of either slate or marble whichever you’re choosing. They will know best what problems you’re going to run into. Because it is highly likely that you will have a problem. I too love a challenge and love to take on new projects that I have never done before and have no expertise in. But this one, beautiful stone countertops that you could potentially ruin, not so much fun. My vote is for whatever edge treatment you decide on but to have a professional do it for you.
May 4, 2018 @ 11:58 am
Alas, I cannot help with the DIYing of edges, since I am such a dinosaur I did not know there was such an edge as a “Cole Smith” and I am distraught that I do not have it. I can tell you, however, that I will read a post the length of War and Peace in order to know every last detail about The Nuclear War of Fanciness because I love you and your sense of humor and your sense of GFTs! (I giggled out loud at least 5 times just on today’s post).
May 4, 2018 @ 12:09 pm
I’ve read your blog for FOREVER and maybe I laughed the hardest today. I had to copy and paste what Paul said into a note to read it all and I can’t remember what he said already. Ohwellnotimportant. also, death to vessel sinks.
May 4, 2018 @ 12:35 pm
People, people, people…have you forgotten who we’re dealing with here? A woman who has the patience to watch for hours as her demi-god husband excavates the twin portals to Narnia and Downton Abbey out of some random stranger’s wall is not going to quibble at taking a few minutes each day to run a toothpick around her exquisite, perfectly profiled, stacked marble counter-tops.
I admit to being somewhat puzzled by Paul’s lack of self-confidence, however. Michelangelo was able to bring forth all manner of angels, saints, and biblical kings out of huge lumps of marble with nothing but a chisel; Paul is every bit as talented as him, and I find it hard to believe that he thinks he can’t make fancy edges along a few slabs of marble with the added benefits of electricity and modern tools. I hate to say it, but I suspect some sort of subterfuge. I feel certain that in his mind he has weighed hours of tedious, back-breaking work against the possibility that you will change your mind about something halfway through the process, or find fault in the end result, and that his courage is failing him.
I suggest you don your fanciest ballgown and the Necklace-of-Broaches and hie thee to the nearest Marble Hewing Place of Business and ask for a tour, so you can ostensibly ask for a quote, but in reality observe and steal All The Secrets.
May 4, 2018 @ 1:21 pm
Your assessment Darling Lily is spot on. Here here.
May 4, 2018 @ 12:48 pm
Loved this post. Many suggestion for DIY countertop edges – don’t! I work with stones in my jewelry and all stones have grain and will more likely chip along the grain lines. If you stack 2 pieces of marble without understanding the grain, they may be cross grained and will cause problems when edging. I know this is not fancy, but I would hate for you to have your heart broken. Pay a professional.
May 4, 2018 @ 1:18 pm
I wrote a comment about my concerns about the talc flaking off, but it disappeared. Maybe I put it in the wrong place? I did want you to think about it, do some more research.
Mary
May 4, 2018 @ 1:19 pm
I have been waiting forrrevvveerrr to read your too-long post about the fanciness apocalypse. The anticipation is giving me fitz and I know we will all treasure every single word that goes over the acceptable blog post length standards. Whoever decided what was an acceptable length probably is writing drivel anyway and if they appreciated brilliance like yours they surely would increase their word allotments.
May 4, 2018 @ 1:46 pm
When we were looking at countertops a few years ago I started with a fabricator, whereby I would get the granite someplace else, have it transferred to him and then installed. Then I found Colonial Marble and Granite that did everything, for an amazing price. Went with them. But for you, she who owns much marble already, a fabricator might just be the way to go if Self cannot talk Paul into to the edge that Self requires.
May 4, 2018 @ 2:18 pm
I have Ogee. It is very easy to clean. Go for it.
May 4, 2018 @ 2:23 pm
I’m the lone outlier here, I guess. Not lone in that I don’t love you, I DO! but lone in that no picture of any kitchen you have ever posted appeals to me in the least. My mid century loving self just wants cheap formica with boomerangs! and atomics! and lots and lots of color!! Back when decor was FUN!!! 🙂 But y’all carry on with your fancy selves!
May 4, 2018 @ 8:50 pm
Melanie Plum, can I be so bold as to ask your age? Sixty-four here….I grew up with boomerangs and atomics and didnt like it the first time around! I laugh at the term “mid century” instead of just calling it 50’s cheap (not chic!) A decorator friend of mine and I joked in the 70’s that we sure hoped that boomerang counters would never come back. Oh well, to each his own. I do however love color and think neutrals are WAY over rated, not to mention boring! And VEB…give Paul a break and let someone else do a simple Ogee. Cant wait for you n
next post.
May 4, 2018 @ 2:38 pm
I would hate to see a fancy countertop edge detract from the extra fancy grand piano kitchen island. I know it’s the antithesis of your mission statement, but I think a simpler edge would complement the island. I know it’s highly doubtful that you’ll take my advice because ‘simple’ is not in your lexicon. Tell Paul I tried.
May 4, 2018 @ 3:44 pm
At the risk of exposing my Scandinavian roots, my 2 øre’s worth is square marble edges are timeless, clean & classic. You have a lotta fancy going on in that room and the marble itself is stunning in it’s simplicity.
You don’t need your counter edges screaming “LOOK AT US! Don’t you DARE be distracted by the piano island/refrigerator/cabinetsnocabinets/mirrors/ringmasters/jugglers/tuxedo cats etc” Dare I say this next sentence without releasing the wrath of all that is fancy? SOMETIMESLESSISMORE! (quickly scurries behind my raw pine, Danish silver & white simplicity)
May 4, 2018 @ 4:01 pm
I love DIY and I’m also a contractor. Unless you plan on several more stone jobs, the cost of the equipment will cost more than paying someone to do the work. I know Paul’s good, but there is a big risk of it not turning out how you want and damaging the material beyond use. Stone countertops need to be installed on plywood subtops, unless your Krafttmaid cabinets come with full solid tops (rare) in lieu of stretchers (common). You then have two choices- fill tops in all new cabinets (lots of work), or add plywood on top of cabinets with stretchers (easy). The edges are then laminated to hide the plywood, this it typically only the overhanging 1″. So, just to clarify those edges on countertops are not solid slabs stacked on top of one another. The edge needs to be laminated. (and I realize this is a totally boring post)
May 4, 2018 @ 4:12 pm
Am I stating the obvious? The edge should repeat themes in the carpentry. . .therefore, before deciding on an edge, wouldn’t you ask: what will the cabinets look like? Chippendale feet? Pilasters & curlicues? = fancy edge. More austere (Shaker, Arts and Crafts etc.) = eased or beveled. Here’s a great example where the home owner coordinated the marble edge treatment with the carpentry, and then doubled down on the ceramics! Marvelous. http://anurbancottage.blogspot.com/2013/07/guest-bath-details.html
May 4, 2018 @ 4:49 pm
I see a Go Fund Me in your future!
May 4, 2018 @ 5:08 pm
I wanted a triple pencil Roman ogee edge, but I got a 1/2 bevel, I’m still pissed, point is get the edge you want because you will never be happy without it!
May 4, 2018 @ 5:54 pm
Because of you I am inching my way into re-doing my kitchen.
Last year Irma blew apart my 30+ ft Live Oak (split it right down the middle) LOTS and LOTS of oak lumber available. If I can get my hands on a chain saw mill I’ll have all the wood I could want, including slabs of 38″ wide for the counter tops.
I prefer wood to stone/corian/formica because it’s quieter. Then there is the copper penny flooring I am considering.
Toodles.
S-
May 4, 2018 @ 7:57 pm
Another voice in the chorus of paying for a professional. (Please, Self, I’m so sorry but, deep breath) I ran a water jet for two years at a stone fabrication company. Ogee is more expensive because it is substantially more work and much much harder to produce a first rate profile or polish. I have a sculpture background and found polishing even flat-edged granite (much easier than any sort of curve on marble. The people who only polished stone- like 8hrs/day every day, stuck to easy profiles/stones for weeks before curves on marble. Unless you want to lose Paul for 2-3 months while he refines his skills, exceptionally talented though you both may be, there are much easier profiles to diy. (I personally wouldn’t dare try an ogee with pneumatic, water fed tools, and possibly only the ones made in Italy.) Chips are not only a concern for daily use, but also for production. If an edge chips during the course of profiling/polishing, bam, start over. Wasted slab that becomes backsplash or a remnant. That beautiful veining, gone. We have to pick your second choice. On the bright side, if you or Paul can pull it off, then you could be hired at the stone fabricator of your choosing.
p.s. laminating is done with a stone epoxy that cures harder than marble, with clamps on roughened surfaces, before the profile is put on. if you want that seam to match your marble, invest in an ungodly number of tints and do your color matching tests well in advance
Again, sad but true, so sorry.
May 4, 2018 @ 8:01 pm
*…found polishing even flat-edged granite (much easier than any sort of curve on marble) to be difficult to get Perfectly Even, A++, bonus points and extra credit. If you are willing to accept like a four out of five star polish job, then that may be attainable in picking up a polisher on your weekends. But that might be the best you could hope for.
May 4, 2018 @ 10:56 pm
Yes while you can rough cut an If we edge keep in mind the art is in the finish polish. I do not recommend this as an amatuer…to get that million dollar look you need a million dollars worth of marble to master it. Then again if you don’t want quality then this is perfect for you.