182 Comments

  1. Sandi
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:07 am

    Thank you for this update. You and Elvis have been on my mind recently. It’s so hard, where you are, but I’m glad you’ve got Paul – and duct tape – and can share it with us, the faceless masses and minions.

    Keep breathing. Love Elvis. You can’t go wrong.

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      February 9, 2016 @ 10:12 am

      The understanding of total strangers has been amazing… the comments I got when she was first diagnosed were quite literally unreadable without a box of kleenex.
      xoxoxo

      Reply

      • Scooter Conrad
        February 9, 2016 @ 1:35 pm

        I know about the Kleenex, but it won’t stop as quick as you hope. My husband & I lost our fur-baby, Pugsly (14.5 YO), 9 months ago and I tear-up very easily at almost anything that’s cute, loving or has to do with the animal kingdom. Even writing this comment is a struggle. I let the tears flow, it doesn’t work trying to stop them. People who know you won’t care.
        My sister-in-law lost both of her cats (Flea & Lips) and a dog (Bandit) to severe illnesses. My biggest worry is that she’s alone. I’m not yet.
        My Husband & I are in our 70s, we’re not long for this earth. And I feel with a tear, that Pugsly is no longer on my list of worries.

        Reply

      • Dana W. Mullins
        March 24, 2016 @ 9:51 pm

        My heart goes out to you and your husband. We have a cat named Elvis as well! I can attest to how they can weave themselves into the very fabric of our lives. Letting them go, even when we know it is the right thing to do, can be so incredibly difficult. I’m sure her last days were the very best days that any kittie ever had.

        Reply

    • Susan
      February 9, 2016 @ 7:15 pm

      The chemo was worth all the cost and all the down side. The time was a lifetime.

      Reply

    • Kate
      February 10, 2016 @ 2:04 am

      Hugs, hugs, hugs — Watch the blue suede shoes. Much love to you, Paul & Elvis

      Reply

  2. Liz Cadorette
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:09 am

    I have been through this too many times – Sending you & Elvis & Paul all the love as you go through this process that encompasses so damn many feelings.

    Reply

  3. Vicki
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:09 am

    My heart breaks as I read this as I went through similar circumstances with a cherished yorkie that was diagnosed with diabetes. Although we were trained on how to give him his twice daily shots in the end his little body couldn’t take it anymore but we got 1 1/2 additional years with him and one night he fell into eternal sleep. 14 wonderful years. That was 2 years ago this Feb 19. You both are loving parents to Elvis and he knows that! Prayers to you all.

    Reply

  4. Dianne Averill
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:10 am

    There are no words to insert here because the pain of losing a beloved pet, or watching a pet suffer and be caught between wanting them with you one more day and wanting them to be free of disease, has no language.

    Reply

  5. Beubook
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:10 am

    She’s one hell of a cat.

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      February 9, 2016 @ 10:14 am

      If I ever get a tattoo, this will be it and I’ll be sure to give you a little byline credit underneath.

      Reply

  6. Tina
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:10 am

    Our kitty of almost 20 years, Floyd, was at a decline for awhile–slow and steady. Then last spring it was swift and brutal and downhill fast. I loved Floyd. He was a GREAT cat. But I think there comes a point where you just know. I would always ask the vet “is he suffering?”. As long as the answer was no, it was ok. The instant it became yes, that was it. We said good-bye last spring and it was awful. I started to cry when I read this, thinking that Elvis was gone and knowing how much that will hurt you. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

    Reply

  7. Molly
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:11 am

    Pets are family. There are no words. Elvis is so lucky to have you. I teared up reading your post this morning, and wish I could say something that would comfort you. So hard. Crying with you in Kansas.

    Reply

  8. Melissa
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:12 am

    My throat is tight and my heart hurts with yours. I wish more than words, I had the power to fit things for you, Paul and Elvis. I know wishes aren’t much…but I really adore the love you have for your sweet Elvis. And thank you for always…EVERY. SINGLE. POST. making my day better. Even when you share sad moments in your heart. My best aloha to you.
    Mahalo nui loa

    Reply

  9. Patty/NS
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:12 am

    I have stood on that cliff a few times – hugs to you all.

    Reply

  10. Vicki
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:12 am

    My heart aches for you,I am sure like many others who have been done this road with fur children..and it just HURTS! I just noticed the darling little heart on Elvis’s face how precious! There are no words of comfort,just know that you gave him or her the BEST life and love,and it was returned…what a wonderful world if all kitties and children experienced such love in a life time! Prayers to you all !!

    Reply

  11. Patricia
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:12 am

    I’ve so been there on this journey with my beloved cats, Agatha and Sneakers. I started to write about them and got a little sniffly all over again.

    Reply

  12. Christina in FL
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:16 am

    Victoria and Paul, what a Blessing to have such a wonderful fur family member in your midst. We, who have fur family, understand every single, step, fear, tear and emotional precipice. Our fur family feels our angst and, I know… yes, I know, they want us to be happy as well. Loving… doing our best, loving things… our fur family understands. I send my love, hugs and encouragement.

    Reply

  13. Michelle from Vancouver
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:16 am

    Thoughts and prayers for you, Paul and Elvis. Thank you for the post, I know it wasn’t easy but we really appreciate it.

    Reply

  14. Wesley
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:17 am

    I’m so sorry, Victoria, my heart breaks for you guys. I can’t imagine a better home and family for Elvis.

    Reply

  15. Karyn
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:17 am

    Elvis is so lucky to have an awesome cat mommy like you that truly loves him so much!

    Reply

  16. Linda
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:19 am

    My heart goes out to you. Molly is right. Pets are family. I stood on that cliff. There are no words. Take care.

    Reply

  17. Sharon
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:19 am

    My heart goes out to you and Paul. We have had to make the decision a dozen times over the years. It is never easy and always sad. Elvis is still a cool cat??

    Reply

  18. Marta
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:20 am

    The duct tape did me in. So heartbreaking and yet, THE LOVE.

    Reply

  19. LaFawne
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:20 am

    No words of comfort because there really aren’t any. Consider yourself wrapped in a big hug though, because I know your pain and totally understand what you are saying. Letting go is the only downside to having a furry member of your family. Their little lives are way too short but the love they give is enormous! Best wishes to you all, and may you all find peace when the time comes. Elvis is lucky and so are you and Paul because you three found each other-

    Reply

  20. emily
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:21 am

    The duct tape photo did me in. I’ve been where you are and know what it feels like to do everything and ANYthing to save a sweet, furry friend. Pets are family. Hugs, prayers, thoughts, and good mojo to you, Paul, and Elvis.

    Reply

  21. Ruth
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:22 am

    Thank you for the update. I’ve wondered about your sweet girl. It’s just the hardest– loving and hurting at the same time. Lots and lots of love and hugs to you and Paul and Elvis ❤️❤️❤️

    Reply

  22. Lady B UK
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:23 am

    been there, know how it feels, my heart goes out to you both. You will know but I hope it isn’t soon xxxx

    Reply

  23. laura
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:23 am

    That is the face of a kitty who is so loved, and knows it. Sending you a lot of comfort and a big hug this morning!

    Reply

  24. Chrissy
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:23 am

    I’m so sorry. So sorry. Your cat has known a fantastic and wonderful life. He’s been loved beyond measure. I hope just knowing that gives you some comfort. I hate that you are having to go through this. :o(

    Reply

  25. Diane
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:23 am

    I love that last photo. Interesting how the small black mark on her face looks like a heart.

    Reply

  26. Susan Macdougall
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:24 am

    It always amazes me at just how much love, tenderness, and life exist in one little being that inhabits this earth. We are always the better for having known about it.

    Reply

  27. Carole @ Rustic Artistry
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:25 am

    As soon as I saw the title of this post I got worried. Now I have tears in my eyes but am happy that you are still getting to be with Elvis and love her in person. Collectively we readers will do everything we can to send you positive vibes of support.

    Love, hugs and kisses to Elvis.

    Reply

  28. Anna McFarland
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:25 am

    My heart breaks for you. We love our pets. They bring joy, comfort, laughter into our lives. When Elvis crosses the Rainbow Bridge, know that he will be waiting there for you. I can’t imagine heaven without our loved ones AND our faithful pets. My thoughts are with you.

    Reply

  29. Ceil
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:28 am

    Feeling your heart wrenching pain!! Our senior girl just turned 16 and we thought she had just a UTI. Turns out she has a rare malignant growth only seen in dogs (survival rate 6-8 month) so no history on how it affects cats. Inoperable as removing could cause incontinence or paralysis. She seems not to be in pain any distress – enjoying each day with her a a gift. Breaks my heart to think she will not be with us for much longer. ???

    Reply

  30. Pamela Ledbetter
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:29 am

    I know you are cherishing the days you have with her. The deeper the love, the harder it is when they leave us. They become so important to us and their lives are just a vapor ! It doesn’t seem fair. Hugs from a stranger for both you and Elvis

    Reply

  31. Sarah
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:30 am

    I feel your pain. My baby dog, Lotus, is in a similar situation. She is 14, and has carcinoma of the salivary glands. We did the fancy surgery, we did the chemo, and she felt like hell. So we have stopped, and are treating the symptoms, and she seems happy, but a little wonky from the drugs. However, we hang on and hope for more time. It is so hard to decide when the time has ended. I hope they let us know so we don’t have to make that decision. <3

    Reply

  32. Gretels Treasures
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:31 am

    Thank you for keeping us updated. We’ve all been through this rollercoaster ride, though each experience is different. Just enjoy the moments. That’s all we have

    Reply

  33. Katherine
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:31 am

    Elvis is a well loved girl and she knows it. What better life could she have had than the one she’s had with you? I hope you’ll find comfort in remembering, when the time comes, that you loved her beyond measure and she knew it.

    Reply

  34. Lisa
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:31 am

    This is cliche, but I still believe it is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Wishing Elvis, you and Paul peace as well as the courage and strength to let go when it is time. Enjoy these precious moments together

    Reply

  35. Wendy
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:31 am

    I am so sorry — and as impossibly hard as it is, I am glad you recognize that quality of life for Elvis is an important factor. Best wishes.

    Reply

  36. Shannon Walls
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:31 am

    Prayers for peace and comfort. My heart hurts for you. Elvis is a blessed kitty to be loved so much.

    Reply

  37. Jennifer
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am

    Victoria,
    I have been a Veterinary Technician for over 16 years and have been with many, many people as they struggle with the big “WHEN?”. It sounds trite, but it really is true: trust yourself, listen to Paul – you will know when it is time.
    This link is to a quality of life scale that helps sometimes in making that decision.
    http://vet.osu.edu/assets/pdf/hospital/companionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf

    Reply

  38. Valerie
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:34 am

    We have a wonderful, sweet dog named Frisco. He was diagnosed with diabetes several years ago. We give him insulin twice a day, which keeps us on a pretty tight schedule. My husband and I can’t travel together, because leaving Frisco with someone else is just too much work. Most of the time, I send my husband off and I stay home with our sweet, half blind (cataracts/surgery/good luck-bad luck) furry kid.

    It’s ironic, because I was the one who said I didn’t want another dog. I didn’t want to get attached, have my heart broken, deal with the aftermath. Now I’m the one who bristles and jumps to his defense when anyone mentions how they would “deal with the situation.” Is it inconvenient? Sure. Do I get weary of the schedule, the expense, the mornings of begging him to eat when he doesn’t feel like it? Yes.

    But when he’s snuggling between us on the bed at night, or chasing our grandson around the kitchen island, or just sitting patiently waiting for his eye drops, insulin and cookie, I realize it’s all worth it. And I’d do it again.

    Blessings to you, Paul and Elvis. Nothing compares to the love and companionship of a good pet.

    Reply

  39. Jaymee
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:34 am

    Thanks for the leaky eyes 🙁

    We are losing our Orange Kitty to kidney disease. Fluids help, but he hates it and the car rides to the vet.

    Reply

  40. Amy Rosenkoetter
    February 9, 2016 @ 10:34 am

    “But at the very beginning of all of this, I had told myself that I would listen and TRUST Paul’s judgement about the hard decisions because my own line in the sand would be impaired.”

    That is love – on both your and Paul’s part. I am so sad for all of you. I’m hoping that her last days, however many there may be, will be days of love and joy, many purrs and treats, and great and abiding affection. Much love and hugs.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *