New kitchen design: FANCY.
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previous kitchen design plan
My plan for The Nuclear War Of Fanciness was to put it where The Kingdom Mirror is.
But because I do not understand how time works, I failed to get rid of Old Kingdom, before New Kingdom arrived.
Which meant that the day before nuclear armageddon, I was running around my house with a measuring tape, asking myself: why does my house not have more walls?
And despite my VERY THROUGH SEARCH of our home, there was no yet-to-be-discovered wing… and I was forced to accept reality: I have acquired something for which I have no space.
Literally, I myself may need an alley for storing mirrors.
To be clear, that’s not a PROBLEM… it’s just not exactly what I was planning.
I walked back into the kitchen to put the measuring tape away… defeated.
And LITERALLY staring me in the face, was a wall.
A wall that I had not considered.
IN THE KITCHEN.
Self said— yes.
And I was like— word.
Then all night, I lie awake, worrying that I would hate the mirror there.
Loving something IN YOUR HEAD.
Allows for ALL KINDS of possibilities!
You get to IMAGINE the perfect height-width-aspect-ratio-in-respect-to-white-space-and-also-laws-of-physics.
Remember the bookcases I was CONVINCED (wrongly) we could MAKE WORK as kitchen cabinets?
Not to mention, how: when speaking of a wall-sized-thing-with-glass?
You do not make it work.
Either it WORKS or it doesn’t.
EITHER you have purchased an item of absolute magnificence that is unassailable proof of your own genius… OR you are a demented orangutan who failed to use her impulse-control strategies.
I will say this for the orangutan: she has spectacular taste.
As the new fanciness settled back against that wall, it was EXACTLY AS I HAD IMAGINED.
ONLY 97MILLIONBILLION TIMES BETTER.
Self performed an interpretive dance to mark the occasion and also convey THE MASTERWORK OF AMAZINGNESS THAT IS MY ABILITY TO FILL MY HOME WITH THINGS NO ONE NEEDS OR WANTS.
Marie Antoinette applauded.
The Louis/Louies/Louises/whatever/all of them/ gave me a standing ovation.
The peasants booed and threw crusts of bread.
Ok. Now I have to go take real pictures and do mockups and go to the cabinet person… I have been TOO EXCITED WITH FITZ to do anything but leap around and set off the glitter cannon.
FRIENDS! THE IDLE BRAIN IS THE DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND!
important note: YOU should NOT join me in getting excited because literally, no one is going to think the new kitchen plan is good… you are basically looking at it… GIANT MIRROR… not much else.
For the very first time, I AM DOING LIFE RIGHT.
it feels amazing
In fact, I’m just going to go ahead and call the kitchen finished!
Ladies and gentlemen, goodnight.
SEE ALL MY BEST CRAIGSLIST FINDS!
May 15, 2018 @ 12:52 pm
“Self performed an interpretive dance to mark the occasion…” (I love this woman.)
May 15, 2018 @ 1:00 pm
I suppose it will make the kitchen feel larger. And, once in the kitchen, you can figure out what to do with all those bread crusts.
May 15, 2018 @ 1:06 pm
I love the new mirror in the kitchen! If Paul doesn’t like the idea of a mirrored surface – an alternate idea might be to consider using the frame for a old salvaged classroom slate blackboard to jot grocery lists and sweet love notes to your beloved on. Just an idea. Paul is great at cutting down old slate I know, I’ve seen your video!
May 15, 2018 @ 1:19 pm
Would love to know if the mirror displaces planned cabinets and what marvelous idea you have to store stuff elsewhere…or is the mirror in a place that was otherwise unclaimed for anything utilitarian?
May 15, 2018 @ 1:21 pm
Does this mirror replace any cabinets or is it on a wall that wasn’t claimed for that? Do you have a solution as to where to store the stuff that was going to go there?
May 15, 2018 @ 1:31 pm
I hope that this discovery means you’ll be keeping the original Kingdom Mirror, too. Though I can tell you’ve long-since run out of space for your mirror collection, I, like you, do not see this as a problem and feel you should keep them all.
Now I am curious to know what changes you’ll be making to your cabinetry layout now that this beauty will be gracing your kitchen with her presence. I’m sure you’ll come up with a brilliant plan…just know, I think we’re all very anxious to hear about it!
May 15, 2018 @ 1:48 pm
Oh, I just love it. I have the same condition that you do. I can’t stop and I never will. I tend to be obsessed with chairs and mirrors. Your new acquisition is quite spectacular, I actually gasped out loud at the beauty of it. Who cares if it doesn’t work as a “normal” kitchen. You are the Queen of your kindgdom. All hail Queen Victoria, xoxo.
May 15, 2018 @ 2:14 pm
I’ve had dreams where I was walking through my house and came upon a big hidden room. Best dreams ever, except for waking up to discover the same number of rooms/space in my house as before.
I could see a children’s book coming out of this, starring the woman who refers to herself as Self.
May 15, 2018 @ 2:17 pm
Why don’t you install one of those little apartment kitchen things with 2 burners and a mini fridge?
May 15, 2018 @ 2:37 pm
Does this mean you will come to your senses and keep the kingdom mirror!? Also, you need to start dragging these mirrors upstairs. Put them on the ceiling if you have to! Also, what about the attic/library? Did I just make that up? Because, frankly, I have a kitchen. And while your kitchen is fine, I don’t envy it. It’s a library that I envy. (Although I am interested in how you feel about the induction cooktop 6 months after getting it. It seems like folly to proclaim the vast superiority of a stovetop you’ve never cooked a meal on.)
May 15, 2018 @ 2:40 pm
I have a lot of catching up to do….I only have two GFM’s (Giant Fancy Mirrors). I just couldnt do that in my kitchen though. Not that it isnt the most fabulous idea, but my kitchen is usually messy enough. I dont think I could handle double the mess the mirror would instantly make…..
May 15, 2018 @ 2:46 pm
As I marveled at the beauty of the mirror in it’s new home it struck me that you are genius, because when you go in the kitchen you will marvel at the beauty of the mirror and by chance catch a glimpse of yourself in it and think who needs to spoil this perfection with cooking and eating and then promptly leave. I’m thinking I need a mirror in my own kitchen (except mine would be to remind me how fat I am ROFL). It could be the new diet craze, big fancy mirrors in kitchens! 😉
May 15, 2018 @ 3:48 pm
May 15, 2018 @ 3:58 pm
I second Memorys’ suggestion of bringing it out from the wall without the mirror and install shelving or a work service for canning all those tomatoes. And Ambers suggestion of kitchen mirrors as a diet solution is brilliant. I need a refrigerator with a mirrored front. Also grocery stores should be required to install mirrors in all of the sugar aisles. Cookies,candies-ice cream et al!
Your home and decor is stunning and weirdly immaculate. Where does the pet hair reside? Mine fills every corner and reappears immediately after vacuuming?
May 15, 2018 @ 4:54 pm
Hi comrad in arms 😉
Have you ever thought about to take the ( boring ) mirror out of its magnificent frame and let your DIY mage of a better half fill the empty frame with an open cabinet full of shelves? I am sure you get my idea…. you could even use the mirror as backwall…. just playin’ to see if some sleepy new ideas genie hops out of its bottle?
May 15, 2018 @ 5:11 pm
I love all your ‘fancy finds’, I never see anything as stunning as those mirrors here in SoCal, but I do worry VEB that if you bring even one more mirror into that house,, your neighbors are going to be wondering what exactly goes on in your abode when the sun goes down!😯🙈🙊
May 15, 2018 @ 5:19 pm
I think “fancy” is the answer to a lot of questions….
May 15, 2018 @ 6:34 pm
I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER! GENIUS SOLUTION !!!
May 15, 2018 @ 7:59 pm
The orangatan has excellent taste lololol gteat idea looks awesome !!!
May 15, 2018 @ 8:33 pm
We may not have the same tastes (I am a full on Goth of the AWN Pugin variety), but my partner swears we were separated at birth. I am currently trying to work out what to do with 15 surplus Gothic revival dining chairs (yes…15 *surplus*). Show me a lonely quatrefoil, and like most people with puppies, I have to take it home and love it. I also have WAY too many mirrors – OK, way too much furniture. And I’m sure “normal” people don’t have 5 brass lecterns – do they? Insomnia and eBay are my friends…or should that be enemies?
May 17, 2018 @ 6:18 am
Augustus Welby Northmore Pugin was an English architect, designer, artist, and critic who is principally remembered for his pioneering role in the Gothic Revival style of architecture. Wikipedia
Born: March 1, 1812, Bloomsbury, London, United Kingdom
Died: September 14, 1852, The Grange, Ramsgate, United Kingdom
Artworks: X-Frame Chair, MORE
On view: Victoria and Albert Museum, Museum of Fine Arts, Houston
Books: The true principles of pointed or Christian architecture, MORE
Children: Peter Paul Pugin
May 17, 2018 @ 10:06 am
Spectacular!! Will it replace the Woman Mirror, then? Or was Lady Mirror….? I don’t have time to go research the name by checking another post, since I’ll get distracted and never find my way back to comment on this post…. 😁