New kitchen design: FANCY.
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previous kitchen design plan
My plan for The Nuclear War Of Fanciness was to put it where The Kingdom Mirror is.
But because I do not understand how time works, I failed to get rid of Old Kingdom, before New Kingdom arrived.
Which meant that the day before nuclear armageddon, I was running around my house with a measuring tape, asking myself: why does my house not have more walls?
And despite my VERY THROUGH SEARCH of our home, there was no yet-to-be-discovered wing… and I was forced to accept reality: I have acquired something for which I have no space.
Literally, I myself may need an alley for storing mirrors.
To be clear, that’s not a PROBLEM… it’s just not exactly what I was planning.
I walked back into the kitchen to put the measuring tape away… defeated.
And LITERALLY staring me in the face, was a wall.
A wall that I had not considered.
IN THE KITCHEN.
Self said— yes.
And I was like— word.
Then all night, I lie awake, worrying that I would hate the mirror there.
Loving something IN YOUR HEAD.
Allows for ALL KINDS of possibilities!
You get to IMAGINE the perfect height-width-aspect-ratio-in-respect-to-white-space-and-also-laws-of-physics.
Remember the bookcases I was CONVINCED (wrongly) we could MAKE WORK as kitchen cabinets?
Not to mention, how: when speaking of a wall-sized-thing-with-glass?
You do not make it work.
Either it WORKS or it doesn’t.
EITHER you have purchased an item of absolute magnificence that is unassailable proof of your own genius… OR you are a demented orangutan who failed to use her impulse-control strategies.
I will say this for the orangutan: she has spectacular taste.
As the new fanciness settled back against that wall, it was EXACTLY AS I HAD IMAGINED.
ONLY 97MILLIONBILLION TIMES BETTER.
Self performed an interpretive dance to mark the occasion and also convey THE MASTERWORK OF AMAZINGNESS THAT IS MY ABILITY TO FILL MY HOME WITH THINGS NO ONE NEEDS OR WANTS.
Marie Antoinette applauded.
The Louis/Louies/Louises/whatever/all of them/ gave me a standing ovation.
The peasants booed and threw crusts of bread.
Ok. Now I have to go take real pictures and do mockups and go to the cabinet person… I have been TOO EXCITED WITH FITZ to do anything but leap around and set off the glitter cannon.
FRIENDS! THE IDLE BRAIN IS THE DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND!
important note: YOU should NOT join me in getting excited because literally, no one is going to think the new kitchen plan is good… you are basically looking at it… GIANT MIRROR… not much else.
For the very first time, I AM DOING LIFE RIGHT.
it feels amazing
In fact, I’m just going to go ahead and call the kitchen finished!
Ladies and gentlemen, goodnight.
Thankya.
Thankyaverymuch.
SEE ALL MY BEST CRAIGSLIST FINDS!
May 15, 2018 @ 11:48 am
This is fantastic!
May 16, 2018 @ 3:42 pm
I wanna be you when I grow up.
May 15, 2018 @ 11:52 am
Does this mean that you get to keep both Kingdom mirrors?
May 15, 2018 @ 11:55 am
I would have 8’ GFT mirrors I. Every room of my house if I had more walls (and antique crystal chandeliers but that’s another obsession…) I LOVE antique/fancy mirrors and I think the one in your kitchen is awesome! Good job!
May 15, 2018 @ 11:58 am
“The idle brain is in the devil’s playground.” I like that. Hey, just joking here, but, don’t you think you might have an underlying hoarding issue? Your husband might agree with me, in fact, tell him I said so, so he feels someone, even a woman, is on his side. The mirror is beautiful. The artwork in the woodwork is AMAZING. Maybe to satisfy your mirror issue is you can start buying and giving them as gifts to people and then visit those said people AND your mirrors. Just sayin, just a thought. Don’t get mad at me. 🙂
May 15, 2018 @ 12:00 pm
You.
Are.
Amazing.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:06 pm
Oh good Heavens, Woman, you make me want to go out and buy lots of fancy mirrors….😳😘
May 15, 2018 @ 12:10 pm
I think it looks magnificent. Will it be reflecting a chandelier by any chance? And does this mean you will have both the Old Kingdom and the New Kingdom? The possibilities! xAllie
http://www.theallthatglittersblog.com
May 15, 2018 @ 12:14 pm
I like it. Are you going to keep the Goddess Mirror in the Kitchen too? I think they go together nicely and will keep modern new kitchen stuff from taking over.
Yesterday one of my sons built a white brick wall behind my wood-stove in my cabin.
Today I am going to paint the brown wall next to it white. I have a beveled small (15×25 inches ) antique mirror I think I will hang on it. White and Mirrors brighten up homes nicely.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:26 pm
PLEASE
…pLeAse
write a children’s book about FANCY and mirrors and kitties and big houses…and searches for fancy-ness!!
Your writing is immensely FUN and adventurous!
May 15, 2018 @ 12:38 pm
That is a great idea! Victoria should write a children’s book. The crazy Victoria Lady in her Victorian House and how she inspires all the neighborhood children to find their own dreams.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:55 pm
Starring Elvis the cat.
May 15, 2018 @ 2:33 pm
And a Greek chorus of tuxedo kittens.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:26 pm
I also applauded. Great job!
May 15, 2018 @ 12:27 pm
wondering if you’ve thought of using the mirror frames as window frames? you have plenty of windows 🙂 or you could use them as valance only at tops
May 15, 2018 @ 1:23 pm
Why oh why did you have to write this and where is my pry bar?
May 15, 2018 @ 12:33 pm
The next time I get an eye roll for adding to my collectionS I’m going to play this video!! 🤣 You’re my sister from another mother (and father) and couldn’t be any cuter if you tried!! Keep being you! Thank you for exisiting and making me laugh! You’re humor is refreshing and rocks my world!!! 💖
May 15, 2018 @ 12:33 pm
Wow! Amazing! Please tell me it’s reflecting the piano/island…piano-island!
May 15, 2018 @ 12:34 pm
Oh my! The Music Man was a brilliant choice for your newest adventure!
May 15, 2018 @ 12:35 pm
Call me nuts but I think that thing could enable a Pilar Guzman-worthy move: build it out (the frame sans mirror) twelve inches from the wall (more or less) tile the alcove, hang shelves, and let it be your built-in storage. It’s plenty big enough.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:39 pm
Fantastic!!! Oh, that’s glorious!
May 15, 2018 @ 12:41 pm
Please go explain to Paul how you singlehandedly just doubled your kitchen space with nary a tool or speck of dust! You are the queen of home improvement!
May 15, 2018 @ 12:46 pm
You are briliant! The only thing that could make me happier than the mirror on that wall is if you promise to keep the Kingdom mirror.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:51 pm
Damn. That thing is GORGEOUS.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:51 pm
Love it!