Sartre said: Hell is other people… but he never tried to customize a tabber widget.
Wow… it’s been a while, eh? Where have I been?
I’ve been bending time and space with my mind.
Yes… I’m exhausted, thanks for asking.
Moving this blog only took me twenty-seven times longer than I thought it would.
The amount of time. And energy. And thought… that I’ve spent on details like my social-media icons? Has been appropriate for full-scale nuclear warfare. Or what to wear to a high-school reunion.
Those icons? Down below, in the sidebar? I picked them for YOU–you people who read my blog. Because I love you.
You’re ALL I think about.
It took me roughly 97 hours to get them to line up and have an orange border.
So I REALLY hope you like them.
My single, greatest talent is intense, paralyzing focus on one individual thing…
To the absolute exclusion of everything else.
Which is great— if you are the project du jour. But terrible and irritating if you are anyone else who might need something from me.
I am the very definition of all or nothing… I haven’t written anything, I haven’t read a book, I haven’t gone dancing, I haven’t put away Christmas stuff. I haven’t vacuumed.
I have skipped out on every single commitment and obligation that I could possibly bail on, without ending up homeless or in jail.
I have brought a level of dedication and intensity to trivial details that is alarming and unbalanced.
I have spent every free minute on minutiae so tiny, no one else will even notice. Pounding my keyboard in frustration. Adjusting the blog’s sidebars, infinitesimally, one-way and the other.
Hunched over my desk in the middle of the night… Like the Howard Hughes of blogging—locked in my office, snarling at anyone who knocks on the door… refusing to cut my fingernails and eating nothing but ice.
You can see the magic and wonder of the sidebar, right? How amazing! How different!
I know! You probably don’t even recognize this blog!
See how I rearranged it by a quarter of an inch? See? See?
It only took me three weeks!
I have NO idea what else I did!! The sidebar and widgets were some kind of time-sucking black hole of formatting… I didn’t even do any of the other things I wanted!
But it’s fine… I’m pretty sure the sidebar is the key to my success. And now that I’ve gotten it all squared away, I can just sit back and let the advertisers roll in.
Bring it.
Somehow? After ALL that time in a test site? I didn’t even get my big changes made.
It took me all these weeks to simply duplicate the appearance of my old blog. All this time to JUST translate it onto the template of WordPress.org
Why? Because all my time was devoted to waffling and confusion and panic and avoidance and changing my mind.
That shit takes time, people.
Also, to further delay any progress… and to exponentially intensify my confusion— I tried to learn HTML. Because when you feel terribly overwhelmed and too busy, and like you are juggling nineteen more things than you are capable of?
You should try to do one more thing.
You should also try to make that thing way outside your comfort zone. And try to make sure it doesn’t apply to anything else in your life. And absolutely make sure it’s not something you’re going to practice, so you won’t actually remember any of it a few months from now.
Since I am compulsive. And controlling– I WANT to know everything there is to know about my blog and how it works. But I forgot how I don’t actually want to LEARN it.
I just want to absorb the coding-skills to do fancy stuff, through some process of osmosis. Preferably overnight.
This is a gulf I have struggled to cross before… Pretty much anytime something is difficult.
I did learn some stuff. Absolutely. If nothing else, that decoder program looks awesome. But there is no way I have the time or interest to actually practice it.
Kind of like taking Intro to Russian… For fun. And then never going to Russia or making any Russian friends. Interesting? Sure. But only as a conversational topic at cocktail parties, where you can impress strangers with your obscure toasts and warm hats.
На здоровье!
So what did that magic decoder program get me? This:
Clearly, I’m not setting the world on fire with my web-design skills.
If at some point in your life? You want to feel like you are NOT really as smart as your parents promised you were? Try it for yourself.
Also? As far as I can tell? HTML is not even the language WordPress is built with.
I believe WordPress is actually built with Sanskrit.
Encoded Sanskrit.
So I googled—how to learn Sanskrit to work with WordPress software.
And google was all like— WordPress was written in PHP for use with MySQL.
And I was like— wow. AWESOME! I will Get. Right. On. That.
But? I didn’t. Instead, my panic and overwhelmedness just overflowed… And I was like—you know what? I’m so tired. I just don’t care anymore.
If it explodes on takeoff, I can STOP working on it, and that will be just as good.
So? If you’re here? It means it didn’t blow up. And that I am somewhere on the other end of your computer… passed out on the floor. Surrounded by champagne bottles and notes to myself to: Figure out why lightbox gallery won’t scroll. And: Reduce space between meta data and end of post in home-page view.
And: Ask my readers—for the LOVE OF GOD. Please subscribe.
The link to subscribe via email is RIGHT THERE at the bottom of this post… It comes with free glitter, my undying gratitude, and a place to stay, if you’re ever in the Philadelphia area.
January 28, 2013 @ 11:22 am
The hard work definitely paid off. It looks great!
January 28, 2013 @ 11:47 am
Hey! Thanks! I’m so happy that the technical stuff is over!!
January 28, 2013 @ 11:48 am
No… scratch that. I can see that comment luv is not working… grrrrr.
January 28, 2013 @ 11:22 am
LOL This is hilarious because I have only the slightest idea of what you’re talking about =)
I have also tried to customize my blog and learn HTML and create all kinds of new graphics and tricks and then? I burned out and quit.
You have a lot more perseverance than I do, for sure!
PS- You now have at least 65 followers on Twitter!
January 28, 2013 @ 12:00 pm
Ha! I wasn’t kidding about how the HTML did not help me at all! I mean, I guess it’s good to have a basic understanding of it… but I had thought it would solve all my tech-woes. Which was definitely not the case at all!!
January 28, 2013 @ 11:27 am
Ah, delightful. Bending time AND space with one’s mind is exhausting, to be sure.
Nuclear physics makes way more sense and is probably easier than learning coding. I refuse. I am going to hire a college student if/when I get brave like you.
That quarter of an inch is STUNNING.
And thank you for drinking so much champagne to look all organized and pretty.
Seriously. I love your style.
January 28, 2013 @ 12:03 pm
Aw shucks, thanks!
You probably don’t need a college student. You need a high school student. Or possibly even younger… oh wait—you have one of those. Maybe he needs to get into coding…
When I was at WordCamp, there were two really young boys there… I was like, those are the guys I need to be working with!
January 28, 2013 @ 11:34 am
I’m not convinced that you are a true procrastinator. What you’ve done here would have taken me 4 times the length of time and without the good cheer. Well done. It looks fabulous. If only I had a blog camp out here in SW England!
p.s. note that I’m still a .com girl!
January 28, 2013 @ 12:09 pm
Oh. Believe me. My procrastination skills are matched *only* by my ability to fool people into thinking I am effective and efficient.
And any seeming good-cheer is being applied retroactively, because I nearly bailed on the whole thing any number of times. My frustration/perseverance balance was beyond tested.
January 28, 2013 @ 12:51 pm
Congrats on the ginormous accomplishment. The blog looks great. And the social media buttons – I’m going to have to click on them for sure. Now take the rest of the month off. That’s what I did after somehow doing a page in CSS and not hurting anyone.
(I realize the rest of the month is only a few days, but hey…)
January 28, 2013 @ 5:33 pm
The more time I spend here, the more it becomes evident how *much* more there is to do… Now that I *can* change every little thing, I want to micro-manage every last detail.
My personality is such, that I should not be permitted access to the irrelevant and inconsequential.
Taking the rest of the month off sounds way more relaxing than saying take the next 48 hours off…
January 28, 2013 @ 12:54 pm
Now look what you have done! I wonder how you were able to keep the email notifications working, or did you move to a WP compatible template?
And just so you know, anyone wearing pearls is always believe to be completely in control and extraordinarily superior when facing any challenge.
Congratulations.
January 28, 2013 @ 5:36 pm
The elves at WordPress.com are able to switch your email followers. I guess they have access to that information and can forward it… not something I can take any credit for.
I’ll remember that about the pearls… incase I decide to pack in the blogging and run for president.
January 28, 2013 @ 1:47 pm
Victoria,
Are you a rocket scientist in your day job? Impressive, AND you speak Russian!?
Here’s the deal, I’m subscribed via email but when I tried to follow you on twitter (I have an account) they (twitter) say “set up your account” as though I’m setting up a new account. Help.
Karen
January 28, 2013 @ 1:48 pm
P.S. I love that you have that thingy that tells your readers the title of my most recent blog…very generous of you!
January 28, 2013 @ 5:43 pm
I do actually speak Russian… so can you. It’s called Google.
Are you not logged in to twitter? I’ve gotten that message if I’m not logged in?
p.s.- I see you had birthday croissants with Slim, rather than me on your Paris jaunt. I will take the Hermès throw as a consolation prize, but do not pull this next year…
January 28, 2013 @ 2:25 pm
The site looks great; glad to have you back! I briefly toyed with the idea of moving to WordPress because of some fancy-schmancy stuff I want to do that, as far as I can tell, Blogger does not support. But after reading this, I think I’ll pass. I’m reasonably good at HTML and I don’t want to learn a new language.
January 28, 2013 @ 6:23 pm
Starting with WordPress… I totally got sucked into their vortex. I totally drank the Kool-Aid, to the point of kind of forgetting there are other blogging platforms.
I had thought that WordPress had a superior community, but I was on blogger the other day, and I see that actually that’s not true—looks like Blogger does much the same thing with featuring people. Plus, they give you free reign from the outset.
January 28, 2013 @ 4:25 pm
Looks awesome, lady!
January 28, 2013 @ 6:26 pm
Hey thanks! Only another 5,000 hours, and it should look exactly like I want!
January 28, 2013 @ 4:58 pm
Fancy!!! I’m super impressed that you’ve managed to move your blog flawlessy! Looks fantastic and it must feel great to know the worst is behind you. Congrats!
P.s. I love orange!!
January 29, 2013 @ 9:27 am
It *does* feel good… although I need to learn to stop swinging between –it WORKS! It’s done!!! And the inevitable crashing down of realizing that actually no, not quite… 🙂
January 28, 2013 @ 6:36 pm
It’s fabulous, beautiful, so clearly superior to your previous, equally perfect and adorably engaging and incredibly smart… but in a very obviously lower-tech way… blog! I’m impressed at how seamless you managed to make it all appear. Just as I began getting anxious waiting for that next post… here it is, new and improved! Congrats!
January 29, 2013 @ 9:38 am
Thank you! I’m amazed at how all consuming this has become. There is *nothing* anyone could pay me to do this. So it’s strange that I’ve done it for free. A lot of the visual stuff I could have done without bothering to move, but I found the transition really motivational to redesign stuff (read: micro manage every pixel)
I’m not sure how seamless it’s been. Apparently the email notification is glitchy… and there is no way for me to know who didn’t get an email, but it’s just one more thing in a very long list of one step forward twelve steps back… and I need to stop celebrating madly, and the immediately crashing into panic when I realize it was premature.
Also, I kind of feel like I’m done. Like I’m wrapping up the project… and so I’m like– wait? Now I have to WRITE something?
January 28, 2013 @ 10:44 pm
I love the new site! I’m totally overwhelmed with all blogging in general and have toyed around with moving (again)…yea…not gonna’ happen…to much else to stress over at the moment.
I’m totally impressed with what you’ve done! The house, the blog…everything! And kept your sense of humor the whole time- you’re my hero!
January 29, 2013 @ 9:44 am
You know how they say that moving is one of the top most stressful things you can do? I mean, I know that’s supposed to apply to *actual* physical moving… but this has been equivalent. Also, with moving furniture—it’s pretty straightforward. Tiring, but not confusing or maddening.
My sense of humor has totally been reserved for just this post. Everything that came before it in the transition was totally NOT funny.
January 29, 2013 @ 12:43 am
Victoria, it’s outstanding!! You did crazy amazing and need to give yourself a huge pat on the back. I love the orange banner at the top, I love the orange scroll button on the side, I love all the boxes in the side bar. I’m stealing it all…. bwhahahaha!
Okay actually, I’m really going to bury my head in the sand and give up completely. I’m slowly finding myself slipping into the paralyzing abyss of “what about this” and “what about that”. And you’ve done a bunch of stuff here that I haven’t even considered… didn’t even know existed. *yay*
All kidding aside… this is really hard stuff and you did great! You are inspiring me to keep on until I get something I’m truly proud of. Congrats!
Where’s the champagne?
January 29, 2013 @ 10:15 am
Welcome to the abyss… I’ve gotten pretty comfortable here. I mean, it’s dark… and there are some bizarre looking creatures swimming around… but at least it’s quiet, you know? I think it’s interesting we both kept our themes. I had kind of thought I’d want to do something entirely new, but I ended up really liking what I had (albeit wanting to fiddle with every piece of it.)
Strangely, my to-do list just keeps getting longer. The more time I’m on here, the more things I notice… I already have a strong tendency towards overly-controlling, detail-freak… and this is bringing it all to a whole new level.
Also, wow! I get about 90 times the amount of junk I used to in .com. My spam folder is packed!
January 29, 2013 @ 4:45 pm
My word… if I’ve ever felt like I was bumping around in a dark room, this would be it. Last night I spent ten minutes trying to figure out where a ” mark should go to make something function the way I wanted it to. I felt pretty heroic when I hit the bullseye, but this experience has given a whole new meaning the the phrase, “The devil is in the details”.
I love your theme and I’m so glad you only enhanced it rather than changing it. It’s clean and stylish. I think Don Draper would approve. I kept my theme since Tyson designed it for me. When he sent me a message this morning saying, “I noticed you don’t have a favicon yet, so I designed one for you”, I felt incredibly spoiled. Screw Valentine’s Day flowers… send me graphics, baby. He normally doesn’t have a lot of time for this stuff, but when he does, I’m hugely grateful. When I get all the function down, I’m hoping to start tweaking the look of things more. I want a box around my icons… that is so cool.
Are you using Akismet to help with the spam? I wonder what is triggering all the junk…
January 29, 2013 @ 5:53 pm
The high I have experienced from mastering the placement of a border? Should be illegal. I was all like—I AM KING OF BORDERS. Bow to me.
But also, the misery of NOT understanding so much of this? Has made me REALLY cranky. If Paul designed me any kind of representative graphic, it would be of a crazy woman.
Hopefully he would give me some good eyemakeup or something because I am really tired and pretty much did not shower or dress all last weekend. It was not pretty.
I’m using Akismet… and it’s working, but the spam folder has about twenty times more junk than it ever did before.
January 29, 2013 @ 9:30 am
First of all I got this via email while we were driving to IKEA in a freaking blizzard to get a new couch and I think I had tears in my eyes by the time I got to your Matrix shot. You need to use that as your Header photo for when you do a 1 year retrospective post on joining WP.org.
Listen you did far FAR better than I did in this transfer. And your Pin/Facebook etc bar, I still can’t figure out how to do that.
Oh and woman, thank God I subscribed via email b/c I totally would have missed this post! Go to your old WP.com blog and write an essay about how to get people to put you in their WP Reader. Have you joined BlogLovin yet? Join it right after you read this.
January 29, 2013 @ 9:35 am
PS – just found you on BlogLovin. I am following you on there from now on. 🙂
January 29, 2013 @ 10:22 am
RIGHT???? That matrix pic is the best. thing. ever. I can just quit now, because I will never think of anything better. My own level of entertainment was BEYOND reasonable. Of course it didn’t help that I’d been in front of the computer for literally 48 hours and had had 37 nervous breakdowns.
I still have to write a post for my old blog… I feel pressure to be witty and alluring so that people will definitely click through… and I’m kind of tapped out on the creativity front right now. Not to mention how my real life has pretty much gone to hell… Paul was like, do you think I’ll get that document anytime soon? And I’m like? Probably not. Sorry. Ask me next year.
Can’t wait to see you new sofa! I’m the worst with brand new furniture… I’m like wow! I love it! The living room looks so beautiful!! Now, can no one please sit on it…
January 29, 2013 @ 1:14 pm
Hey Victoria! I left you a comment on Danielle’s site but wasn’t sure if you got it. I DID get your email but since we had just “talked” the night before I thought I’d give you a break from comments. I’M SO STUPID! YOU LOVE THEM! I LOVE THEM! EVERYONE LOVES THEM.
The site looks great (of course) and your determination to get it just so speaks volumes. I respect a lady who knows what she wants and stops at nothing to get it. Awesome job, woman!
The html is always good to know … and you could definitely use some in widgets or in posts but in general it does very little for database driven sites. I remember the days of writing an entire site in html and javascripts BY HAND… no software. I would start from the top line of code and do an entire site. GOOD TIMES! (these times are better though – thank you PHP!)
One thing I noticed is you need to update your .com settings and your gravatar settings. When you commented on Danielle’s site your link went back to wordpress.com. I know you don’t want that! (keepin’ my eyes out for you).
Again, I know it feels good to have the hard part behind you and it really does look wonderful. Please zip me an email if you need anything or get stuck… I’m happy to help. Have fun!… and go give Paul a hug. I bet he misses you. (laughing)
January 29, 2013 @ 2:34 pm
I did realize that, after I commented on Danielle’s—that you HAD already commented… But I’m glad to know you did get the email. That was the part I was worried about… I had subscribed to my own site, a few months ago, when I knew I was going to move, and I didn’t get an email… So that’s kind of… a bummer.
I have no idea why my old site is NOW showing up… I’ve been trying to get in there for days (not the dashboard, the actual site). But THANK you. Also, thank goodness I require everyone to always be coming here and paying attention to me, it’s making my life that much easier. Or harder… since I have now fix this latest thing.
Paul who? I haven’t seen him in ages… ha ha.
January 30, 2013 @ 12:28 pm
Kudos to you for taking the plunge and succeeding. It looks wonderful! What were you thinking, moving a blog, learning about .org and html? Gotta give you a high five for dedication and perseverance! Don’t worry, the more you do it the easier it gets!
January 31, 2013 @ 9:36 am
Hey thanks!! I guess I was thinking it wouldn’t be *that* hard… ha ha. I really did reconsider it at nearly every step of the way. WordPress.com is such an amazing platform, and leaving it really makes you appreciate it all the more.
January 30, 2013 @ 7:19 pm
I will follow you on Twitter. I enjoy your engaging storytelling style!
As I am sure you realize now…..a website is never actually finished….always a work in process.
WordPress and the WordPress community seems to constantly be coming out with something new & improved.
Best wishes with your move to .org. I look forward to reading more about your interesting adventures.
January 31, 2013 @ 11:24 am
Hey! Thanks for the comment! Sorry you went to spam jail!
It was weird to actually see your picture when I followed you on Twitter… in my head you look like my email inbox!
My husband is away for the next three days, and normally I would miss him? But now, I’m like—EXCELLENT. Nothing will come between me and my computer…
January 30, 2013 @ 8:34 pm
Yay! Congrats on making the move. I felt like it was taking me forever and a day too. I am so glad that I did it though. I am now doing the DIY Blog Critique to figure out how to tweak what I have. Your new design looks great!
January 31, 2013 @ 9:51 am
So… I googled DIY blog critique. And there you are! I am so tired of working on the design of this site… a checklist would be incredibly helpful. I feel like I’m focusing on the minutiae of border-colors, rather than bigger things like actually writing stuff… or going back and fixing old posts where I didn’t know not to upload full-size photos.
January 31, 2013 @ 7:39 am
I am totally impressed…did a course on social media and websites,etc. and decided to stay sane,totally basic and stick to paint brushes! Love what you did and thoroughly enjoy your posts. I share the perfectionism and procrastination. Terrible!
January 31, 2013 @ 10:06 am
It’s probably good I didn’t know how challenging I would find the move, or I would have stayed put. Not to mention my inability to LET SMALL DETAILS GO.
I have to say that having used WordPress.com for eight months, I am amazed at the service they offer. How easy they make it. And how incredible their community and support are.
Yesterday, I met someone who uses blogger, and I realized that I had completely forgotten any other blogging platform even exists. To me, wp is the end-all-be-all.
January 31, 2013 @ 10:08 am
Phew you’ve done it. Got your own site and it looks great. A genuine question…….why did you do it? What does it give you? What are Don and I missing out on? I NEED to know.
Do you still come into my reader or do I have to call you up via email now?
Are you getting the idea I’m a luddite? I am a luddite. I can’t even text properly as evidenced in my last post. Hopeless.
I now seem to have two of you in my reader, one with a gravitar and one without. Shall I blow up the without?
So many questions but I’m off to pour Don a single malt.
January 31, 2013 @ 10:23 am
Oh lord… the reader? Is something new that wordpress is still ironing out. It used to be that you *didn’t* stay in the reader after moving to .org, but they are changing that as we speak, so maybe don’t delete any of me? And hopefully they will figure it out on their end? Are my posts showing up twice? Or just in the list of blogs you follow? I wasn’t even showing up at all, yesterday… so this is actually good news for me!!
What does switching get you? Gadgets. Widgets. That orange bar across the top… Free will. The ability to have advertisers if you want them… the ability to make a link to your commenter’s last post show up… if you look at a comment above, (not my reply) you’ll see a link to their last post. To get this, you need to click the box for “comment luv” do you see that? Under the comment area?
There is pretty much an endless list of things you can add and rearrange. I’m not sure how *important* they are though… but as a control-freak, they all appeal to me!!