86 Comments

  1. Kathleen Sullivan
    March 7, 2019 @ 5:28 pm

    I watched her videos over my Winter break from work; binged some and then had to stop and pick-up another day – too much! I agree with your thoughts on the decluttering mentality and what it really takes!

    I can do the closet/clothes thing, NOT SHOES, it isn’t always easy but I put it in boxes and wait awhile prior to moving it out of the house – that helps me! It is my other “stuff” that is the problem: cookware, linens, ‘objects d’art’, furniture, collectibles…no one wants them which makes me sort of sad. Messages here will help me persevere but, for me, this is not a weekend or even a one month effort, it will take some time for me to finally feel like I have accomplished what I need to do – and I am OK with that!

    As for the books, I have an odd obsession about books but I am slowly donating to my local library while still buying new/used off of Amazon, eBay and old brick and mortar bookstores! My Catch 22! Ha!

    Based on all the comments, your loyal followers suffer together – differently but still united.

    Thank you for the thoughtful and timely post…

    Reply

  2. bonnie wright
    March 7, 2019 @ 5:43 pm

    Love your narratives!

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  3. Betty King
    March 7, 2019 @ 6:36 pm

    I have a mirror ball over my dining room table because of you. It brings me joy hanging from the verdigris brass light fixture salvaged from the previous owners. Stay you.

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  4. Barb Carey
    March 7, 2019 @ 7:19 pm

    Oh, thank you for coming back to the blog to post! Your post about crap owning you resonates. Time to clean out the shoe cubby, the bookshelves and maybe, just maybe the collection of pots and pans that never see the light of day because really there are only 3 that I use on a regular basis.
    Kitten updates needed so don’t forget we live for those.

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  5. nataly rubinstein
    March 7, 2019 @ 7:56 pm

    While reading this I was thinking- is this really Victoria? The woman who squires so many fabulous things and fills her home with sparkle and weekend quests to find the most fabulous items? I don’t know what to say other than I’m happy for you. Ive been in a group called “A Year to Clear” for the past 2 years- some even longer… its a great community to not only clear the physical, but the emotional reasons why we do what we do.

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  6. Edith
    March 7, 2019 @ 9:21 pm

    I’m so impressed with your resolve and execution! Maybe you can give me some advice?Normally I don’t have any difficulty giving or throwing things out….BUT….there is a pile of letters that my Dad wrote to me the first year I moved to the US in 1974. We never saw each other or spoke to each other again because he suddenly died. I’ve never been able to read those letters again. Just thinking about them gives me a lump in my throat and brings me to tears. I don’t even like to open the box they’re in. Seeing his handwriting and the blue ink he always used is just too much. Destroying them seems so disrespectful. Having them is a burden. I loved him so much. What would Marie Kondo do?

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    • Amy
      March 9, 2019 @ 10:58 pm

      Hi Edith,

      I’m so sorry about the loss of your Father and the struggle you experience with his letters.
      Would it be unreasonable to join a grief support group or seek grief counseling? Perhaps after a while of working through the stages of grief, it will become more clear how to best deal with the letters. I realize that you have been grieving since 1974 (45 years), and grief never completely goes away, but it can certainly transition into a more gentle place. A place where letters can bring a feeling of comfort, rather than one of pain.

      Good luck to you and I hope you find solace soon.

      Amy

      Reply

  7. Callie Bradley
    March 8, 2019 @ 12:08 am

    Beautiful post. And I love the comments and everyone’s thoughts on the topic! (What thoughtful readers you have, V!) 🙂 And awwww my favorite part of the post is that you kept the shoes you were wearing when you met Paul!? So sweet!

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  8. John kilborn
    March 8, 2019 @ 4:36 am

    The things you collect are because you see the epheramal in them. You have a gift, most people don’t recognise the craft, the love that goes into things.

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  9. Lori
    March 8, 2019 @ 8:46 am

    I’ve hopped on the decluttering train as well and it was long overdue. The thing that REALLY helped me let go of stuff was joining my local Facebook Buy Nothing group. People will come and take nearly anything and I don’t have to lift a finger! I hate bringing stuff to Goodwill after reading about how so much of that stuff gets tossed or trucked off to third world countries.

    I can finally use the outdoor table that I had stained glass stacked on for years after I realized I was never gonna get around to that project and it was stressing me out looking at it, so I sold it. Ditto a bunch of vintage furniture I planned to refinish. Ahhhhhh, such a great feeling!

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  10. Suzen
    March 8, 2019 @ 10:09 am

    I think we ALL have a cultivated hoarding/collecting problem…created by a consumer culture. Just walking into Walmart or the “snack” aisle at the grocery store causes me to nearly hyperventilate. Car lots with millions of cars… What in heaven’s name are we doing with all this STUFF?! Making it, storing it, throwing it away and getting more and more… Using nonrenewable natural resources for our latest redecorating craze. When we started to get off-site storage units, did we not have clue one that we had a problem? Can we not just live? I’m just as much a “collector” as the next person and I don’t have the patience to sell things. I’ve been donating to charity and they just come and pick up the stuff from my front porch. So good! I haven’t read Kondo but I know I need to cut back incredibly. Incredibly! And my home looks pretty neat, really. But good god, the stuff! The planet! Help us!

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  11. Kelly
    March 8, 2019 @ 3:50 pm

    Getting rid of all my yearbooks was the best decision I ever made. Any time I looked at them, every time I looked at them, I got an extremely anxious feeling remembering all the awkwardness. The Gifts of Guilt are also things that felt great blessing and sending on their next journey. All the gifts that people got us that I kept only because – what if they came to my house and didn’t see them there are now being enjoyed (or not) by some Good Will shoppers.

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  12. Ann
    March 8, 2019 @ 4:16 pm

    What amazes me is how rapidly stuff creeps back after a major purge. When we moved cross-country, I spent 3 months purging junk and the rescue mission sent two box trucks to carry it all away. It’s 20 years later and guess what? Major purge is needed AGAIN. It feels so good when you do it, and sad when you realize you haven’t been diligent with upkeep and it needs doing all over again.

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  13. Cheryl Dobbs
    March 9, 2019 @ 9:03 pm

    Oh my goodness, you crack me up! When I tried to read Marie Kondo’s book, my first thought was, “this lady is OCD and wants me to be too!” . . . and I gave it up as a bad job. But then my daughter started Kondoing, and it really helped her see the trash. So I watched the show – the hugging, joy finding, thanking, and tapping was all not quite my style but I loved her kindness. I loved how she took everyone wherever they were. She helped them improve their lives without a trip to IKEA. Very refreshing. Like you, I took what I liked and left what didn’t fit me. I’ve been reading your blog here and there over that last few years. Like your style, and adore your sense of humor!

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  14. Haley
    March 11, 2019 @ 11:24 am

    My husband is also my haircutter!!!!

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  15. Sherry
    March 12, 2019 @ 10:38 pm

    My takeaway from watching Marie Kondo was simply to take everything out & put back what you want/need. Everything else goes to the thrift store or garbage. I can’t do the take- all-of-your-things-out-by-category & pile it in one spot & then declutter. There isn’t enough space between your state & mine for me to do that. It’s easier to just go space by space, such as closet first & then one of my dressers. I think that show was made for people like me who need to get out of their own head to see it as just stuff instead of with emotional attachment.

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  16. Heather Bensel
    March 21, 2019 @ 11:24 am

    Hugging? I am only hugging those who spark joy. No one else.

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  17. zefi
    March 21, 2019 @ 11:31 am

    I was forced to get rid of almost ALL my crap when I decided to move from Tasmania to Greece last Christmas. I thought I’d been getting rid of excess stuff for months, but the amount of stuff I still had to get rid of was HUGE. And it felt GREAT. You are right. Its freeing and wonderful to streamline your life!

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  18. Angie
    March 22, 2019 @ 2:41 am

    I’m not sure if this was mentioned as I didn’t read all of the comments but there are Facebook groups, local to your area, that you can participate in to get rid of your belongings. One that I belong to is “Buy Nothing”. I take a picture of the item, only the group sees, choose someone who asks for it, and then put it on my porch and they pick it up! It’s a wonderful way to help your neighbors. (I’m a hoarder and should participate more…as in daily)

    Reply

  19. Elaine
    April 17, 2019 @ 12:07 am

    Just one question, Victoria; To which donation center will you be taking all YOUR things? Asking for a friend. . . .

    Reply

  20. Becky Schneider
    May 16, 2019 @ 10:57 am

    When I first read Part I, I thought NO! NOT HER, TOO!!!! I have not read the book/watched the show- I am totally distancing myself from ANY of this. I *LIKE* my stuff. Somehow, I missed Part II but life has been crazy lately, so I can see how it might have happened. Just now read Part III and went back and read Part II afterwards and then re-read Part I and here I am. So-these are my vices: I make quilts, mostly baby quilts. I make cards and like paper crafts but I do not scrapbook- mostly just make cards, stamp, die cut, etc., and I make vinyl monograms, etc. Recently, just 1 year ago, got VSMAC (vintage sewing machine acquisition disorder) and now have SEVEN vintage sewing machines (only 1 is a treadle, two others in cabinets) and i *love* it. I have some of my GRANDMA’S MATERIAL SCRAPS! This includes feedsacks from the WWII era. I have some of my mothers material scraps. I have my mother-in-law’s material scraps, and I have MY material scraps and we’ve been married 43 years next week. Now- in the last 3 weeks, it has come up that we need a different kind of house, we need first floor master…we looked at and have had an offer accepted on a house- bigger, more space for my STUFF, and also 1st floor master. Will be listing our house soonish- but I got to get it presentable. Hence- I am suddenly more open to the idea of getting rid of STUFF that I do not use, and really no longer want to use. and I’m not talking Grandma’s feedsacks, I’m talking craft materials for crafts I don’t do. I will probably not do counted cross stitch anymore but I am keeping my box of embroidery floss because i use it to tie quilts, too. I found a shop called “Scrap it up” that takes craft donations, run by volunteers, sells stuff at very low cost. (can you believe I went in and donated and didn’t buy ANYTHING?) I am avoiding the fabric and paper craft sections of Hobby Lobby. I am driving past yard sales. I am NOT looking online for more random STUFF to buy. but I am still not willing to watch this MK girl…i Don’t want to say goodby to my stuff. BUT I HAVE TO GET RID OF SOME OF THIS ACCUMULATION! And what you said in Part III does resonate with me- the clutter makes a noise in your brain that suffocates…even as you think “I love my stuff and my memories of those times, etc.” Thank you. and I’m glad you’re not getting rid of ribbon cabinets, although if you *do* decide to downsize a thread cabinet…that’s something I’d love someday. 🙂 Mostly- I think three things when I read your posts: 1) You are at least half crazy. 2) Paul is a SAINT and I sure hope you realize how BLESSED you are to have him in your life. 3) Even though I think you’re crazy much of the time (i.e. all the AGONIZING over a refrigerator looking like a refrigerator!) you ALWAYS make me laugh. I’m sorry about Paul’s mother– my father had Parkinson’s dementia the last couple of years of his life and it made it like we lost him even before we lost him. It’s hard. Also- I’m not going to EVER have a cat and probably not a dog again…but I like seeing your pictures. Also- I was one of the ones who wrote in extolling the virtues of induction – so I was SO GLAD you chose that and I can’t wait to see when your kitchen finally gets done. and ALSO- our new house has GAS cooktop- our last house that had gas we lived in from 1985 to 1992….not sure how I am going to like this. we will see. If I hate it, I’ll switch it out and get an induction cooktop.

    Reply

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