1. Laura
    April 16, 2014 @ 11:58 am

    I have a tempurpedic too so I looked it over just for you. You cannot leave it looking as it does now.
    Simply take an electric carving knife- one normally used by lazy people for turkey- and very slowly CUT the extra length off that mattress. Then take the zippered protective cover and cut the same amount off all the way around off one end- where there is no zipper. It’s all straight seams- really worth the effort. Put the cover back on the mattress. Paul would be happy to help. They sell bed skirts that simply wrap around the outside of the base on overstock- they are elastisized and ADJUST- hence they will FIT. Your problem is now addressed. The mattress fits the bed, the plywood doesn’t show. And if Paul is too long for the bed he can curl up in the fetal position nightly as he probably already does when you are finished with him for the day. You’re welcome.


    • DB
      April 16, 2014 @ 12:23 pm

      I agree. Please see my comment below: “No Dear. It is time for Paul to show off his finish carpentry skills and lengthen the side boards. Admit it, if you saw that setup in someone else’s home you would mock it relentlessly.”


  2. tammigirl
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:01 pm

    There is not one thing I can say about the bed. About a year ago I found myself with a very similar situation; full sized antique bed with curved footboard, which the seller told me was queen, (because she thought it was) at the downtown apartment of my daughter who had recently purchased queen mattress/box springs. The solution was to bring it to my own guest room. She got something else.

    I also have a similar sounding husband issue. It’s like they put their ear-walls up and nothing we say actually gets in there at all. It leads to me hearing things like “How strange!” “How odd!” and my favorite: “Very interrrrrrestinggggg” with the rolled r’s of his native language in for good measure.

    But he does make for great arm-candy, and he puts up with my terrible housekeeping skills, so I’m keeping him forever. 😉


  3. Jackie
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:07 pm

    Strangely, my DH experiences the same memory issues yours does. And, even more odd, I have many friends that have also indicated their significant others are similarly afflicted. I do hope we are not facing a contagion (affecting only males, of course) of some sort.


  4. Lee
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:10 pm

    An antique blanket chest would be perfect at the the end of the bed and would blend everything together.

    And I think God forgot to give my husband a folder to store everything I say in, because he doesn’t remember anything I way. Such is life though. You get used to saying, don’t you remember when I told you that? Knowing full well that he doesn’t. It’s a good thing we (wives) make the decisions, even when we let them think they do. 🙂


  5. Jen
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:17 pm

    LOL! Oh, those last two paragraphs. Just yesterday my daughter was railing about how a boy in her class stared at her blankly when she reminded him of something IMPORTANT she had told him, and how could he be so insensitive?

    My daughter is 12.

    I said nothing. Some things she’ll learn on her own.


  6. DB
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:21 pm

    No Dear. It is time for Paul to show off his finish carpentry skills and lengthen the side boards. Admit it, if you saw that setup in someone else’s home you would mock it relentlessly.


  7. gwenette
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:23 pm

    What if you take the bed apart, separating the headboard from the base, and add some wooden pieces that Paul would cut, and stain them to match, thus making the bed longer?? You could do that. Paul could do that. It could work.


  8. Andie
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:23 pm

    So, in theory, if Elvis were to let it all go and become post- Las Vegas fat Elvis and then jump on the overhanging mattress at the base of the bed, her weight could propel you and Paul into the opposite wall?
    As an aside, I just realized why it’s called a “cat”apult.

    Based on my experience and training as the wife of a man I can offer this advice: Men don’t listen. They are practically incapable of doing so. In the odd event that they do pay attention you can rest assured that you just blurted something that they were not intended to hear.

    After much trial and error I have come to the conclusion that if I want my husband to hear me I refrain from using confusing things such as words and, instead rely on my skills of interpretive dance.
    Then, as he is rushing me out of the grocery store he will ask “What was THAT all about?”

    That is when I have his utmost attention. We can discuss just about any topic at that point and I am certain he is rapt.
    It amazes me that the telephone was invented by a MAN. A machine that can only be utilized in the event that communication is required. The irony. To create a machine that men the WORLD over pretend does not exist.




  9. stephanie
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:38 pm

    You are such an enabler. I now want all the Giant Fancy Things I can find!


  10. Jeanette
    April 16, 2014 @ 12:56 pm

    I think poor Paul must have been so distracted with getting the bed inside the house and creating the mattress supports that he totally spaced about the mattress length. I remembered though! Wasn’t that was the initial deal breaker??!!

    I wonder what happens if you forget and sit on the end of the bed…could you experiment and video that please :-). Do you have a cat?

    Perhaps what you need now is a custom mattress?! 😉


  11. AppleHillCottage
    April 16, 2014 @ 1:32 pm

    Yes, the file shredder schtick is hilarious and made me laugh out loud for several minutes. Before I realized that, Ladies, we don’t listen to them either… As soon as he starts talking about why it won’t work? My own eyes glaze over and actually? It never even gets to a file…
    (Your bed is gorgeous! Get an antique trunk and put it underneath the mattress shoot-over.)


  12. Kate S.
    April 16, 2014 @ 1:35 pm

    So is this it? Is this the final piece of the bed saga? Or is there another post coming about how Paul retrofitted the bed so that the mattress will fit? I can’t understand how someone who can’t ignore that wooden leg under the bed is able to ignore the mattress overhang, lol.


  13. Janet
    April 16, 2014 @ 1:48 pm

    Fabulous bed! If you really really wanted to lengthen the bed, you could “harvest” (as in an organ transplant…to give the gift of a newly improved life…) one of the bottom wood planks or panels from the headboard where you wouldn’t see it was “missing” and use that to fashion a couple of pieces to extend the side panels where they connect to the headboard. I once sawed a footboard in half and joined the two pieces to the headboard to build a loveseat – it only hurt a little to cut into and alter an original piece. The seat of the loveseat was actually a full mattress that slid on casters through an opening in the wall behind it to attic space so the loveseat could convert to a full bed by pulling the whole shebang forward. “Early sofa bed.” Love your blog!!!


  14. lisa
    April 16, 2014 @ 2:28 pm


    Love your blog, and every project you do is fabulous.

    Are the colors in your bedroom and hallway the same? What are they if you don’t mind my asking.


  15. Danielle @Storypiece
    April 16, 2014 @ 2:33 pm

    No worries on the long division… with the current math standards, I don’t think anyone is going to even know what that is any more. You are in good company. 🙂

    From one laser beam shooting wife to another, I love the bed and this whole crazy story!


  16. BrazilNut
    April 16, 2014 @ 2:44 pm

    OK, VEB, this solution may not work for you but… If you and Paul are not too tall, have you considered making the mattress shorter? I would also recommend notching the top corners to allow for the “fancy-scroll-y pieces” to defend against having the pressure from the scrunched mattress and dry winter air making the wood brittle and breaking.

    It also gives Paul the opportunity to get a new tool, which will make him love you even more.

    The following tool might just do the trick:


  17. Teri
    April 16, 2014 @ 2:44 pm

    I didn’t realize my hubby had a twin! That ‘memory shred folder’ is SO him!!! LOL


  18. Kimberly ~ SerendipityRefined
    April 16, 2014 @ 2:59 pm

    I can’t remember the last time that I actually had to use long division. I have found, through years of thorough and carefully planned research that eyeballing and rounding are a fine substitute for long division, particularly when there is an ample supply of lumber involved and time to make repeated cuts. This is necessitated by the fact that I have yet to find a way to cut wood LONGER…if I could just master that, my life would be significantly easier and even rounding would become unnecessary.

    As for the laser beams, doesn’t EVERYONE do that? Sometimes, when I explain things to my husband and sons, I spontaneously begin speaking an unknown foreign language. I find that the laser beams often accompany those episodes…there may be a correlation….do you speak a foreign language? (Purely for research purposes, of course)


  19. Laurel
    April 16, 2014 @ 3:04 pm

    My husband has the exact same folder, however he has a separate folder for things that I “needed” to do that won’t work/fit. That folder goes into a temperature and humidity controlled vault.

    I love your bed.


  20. Patricia
    April 16, 2014 @ 3:51 pm

    wonderful solution to fancy pants bed and giant mattress… followed your link to Pinterest and discovered you have 780 pins just for kitchens you don’t own and could’t possibly fit into your weird shaped room.
    I see no problem with that.


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