Yes, I bought another mirror… Yes, I can feel you judging me.
Paul once questioned my budgeting skills… in reference to dental floss.
You think I am joking.
I am not.
He stated that because I buy multiple small packs, we are getting gouged on the price-per-foot, and there must be a more-economical way to purchase dental floss.
I just stared at him.
Because if you are having a conversation where you need to defend your decision-making in reference to DENTAL FLOSS… someone is insane, AND IT IS NOT YOU.
I assured him that I am definitely buying floss in the MOST ECONOMICAL WAY POSSIBLE, and that if he can do better, THEN BY ALL MEANS, he should take over the floss responsibilities.
SHOW ME THE WAY, OH FLOSS MASTER.
So the next time I was buying floss, I took a photo of the price-per-yard… of ALL OF THE FLOSS FOR SALE.
But WEIRDLY, that night, when I attempted to SHOW Paul the photos proving that indeed! I AM buying floss in the most expeditious way possible; he was UNINTERESTED.
And I was like – oh. No. My friend.
You do not get to accuse me of frivolous-floss-spending and then refuse to sit quietly and pay attention during my flowchart presentation with graphs and PowerPoint while I disprove your fiscal-floss-theory like when Matt Damon Harvards the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies and the pre-Revolutionary utopia of the capital effects of military mobilization. (or something)
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?*
*see comments if you have zero idea what I am referencing.
Anyway, my point is that because I am such a frugal-acquirer-of-floss, I have lots of extra cash to spend on useless crap.
SUCH FANCY CRAP.
Fortunately, I have amazing taste and never purchase anything that is not evidence of such!
What’s that?
You want proof?
EXHIBIT A: I am patiently waiting for Christmas morning, when I will present this glorious gift of warmth and fashion to my brothers.
(IF YOU KNOW MY BROTHERS DO NOT TELL THEM… which, yes, correct, my brothers do not read my blog, even though I feign interest in their screenplays.)
Now I have to go because I am way behind on my scheduled task of sticking my face in a pile of sleeping furmunchkins…did you know: KITTENS SMELL EXTRA DELICIOUS WHEN THEY SLEEP.
ps, THE HOLIDAYS ARE UPON US… if you have not read my HOW TO MAKE A BOW post, it has everything you need to succeed in life: my mother, Kenny Rodgers, and a stapler.
‘K bye.
judy
December 12, 2017 @ 1:21 pm
Hilarious! Very pretty mirror. Any chance you could give us a rerun of your beautiful Christmas Decor,especially the Disco balls on the lovely veranda. Happiness to all as 2017 slips away A fine writer deserves all of you and millions more!
Martha
December 12, 2017 @ 1:48 pm
Your humor makes me SO happy!
Gerry
December 12, 2017 @ 1:53 pm
Mirror is spectacular. Masks are interesting. This post is hysterical. On a more serious note…. my dentist gives me free dental floss and a new toothbrush when I see her every six months for cleaning. If your dentist doesn’t do this for you, it might be a suggestion…? Would be an even bigger savings for you to have more money to buy GFT!
Kim H
December 12, 2017 @ 2:18 pm
I am unashamed to admit that I just ordered the hat for my husband. He’s going to absolutely love it!
Allie
December 12, 2017 @ 4:19 pm
That is one of the most amazing mirrors I have ever seen not in Versailles. My only judgment is that you have incredible taste. xAllie http://www.theallthatglittersblog.com
Kait
December 12, 2017 @ 4:36 pm
First, I get the feeling Paul is an engineer. ASK ME HOW I KNOW. (My husband does similar silliness such as the floss audit.)
Two, all the GFT for always.
Lastly, my kitten smells like cinnamon. When I sniff him as he sleeps he pushes his paws into my face as if to say ‘Moooooom. Stop smelling my floofs! I’m sleepin’ here!”
Jill
December 12, 2017 @ 5:08 pm
I want to be your brother! Where did you find that gorgeous mirror?
Pat
December 12, 2017 @ 6:35 pm
One of my favorite scenes from my favorite movie. Thanks for reminding me!!!!
Bernie
December 12, 2017 @ 7:45 pm
Paul and my husband must be related in their “personal grooming economics”. My children can all accurately quote “the toilet paper lesson”. FOUR squares, fold, wipe, fold again, wipe. Repeat if necessary (but only once). We also argue about the 5 extra cents we spend on electricity because I dont turn the light out in the kitchen…when I AM COMING RIGHT BACK!
Jill
December 12, 2017 @ 7:47 pm
That is the best gift to give any male…. More importantly if it helps in your debates on the purchase of items, I noticed on the majority of receipts a store will indicate the dollar amount you saved. I boldly circle this numerical amount in red ink and adhere the front of our refrigerator next to a sign. This sign states it is not what I spent that matters but the amount I SAVED.
Ross
December 12, 2017 @ 8:47 pm
I am so sad.
You did not put my comment through.
I feel unloved! Unwanted!
Kathy samp
December 13, 2017 @ 7:09 am
Love it❤
Lori Barton
December 13, 2017 @ 11:41 am
Please write a book. I’ll buy one for myself and many copies to give as gifts. You are delightful!
kmkat
December 13, 2017 @ 7:50 pm
You should know that that Cthulhu mask was hand-crocheted by someone. Because there is no machine on the planet that can crochet (yet). btw, I love your taste in gifts!
JC
December 13, 2017 @ 9:27 pm
OMG I want one of these mirrors. Why are there NONE where I live?
Kathleen
December 14, 2017 @ 2:44 am
Victoria, I am your long lost sister…and I MUST have that mirror!
Sherry in Alaska
December 14, 2017 @ 3:55 am
The mirror is WONDERFUL. And you are hilarious! It’s why I’m still following you and have given up so many others. Plus you love cats…………….. and who can do better?
Danielle
December 14, 2017 @ 9:38 am
I bought my husband that exact hat a few months ago … I also have a mirror troll that lives in my head. You’re my favorite, I use your blog to explain my thought process to the naysayers. You’re my spirit animal lol.
me
December 26, 2017 @ 11:29 pm
You are simply investing into your retirement plan! How can he not see this every time you buy a beautiful antique item. The resale one day in the far far future will be splendid.