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  1. Val
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:40 am

    I am so sorry you lost your brother.
    I am SO sorry you lost your brother.
    I am so, so, SO very sorry you lost your brother.

    All the rest of your blog post is fascinating, but that…that, right there…that is what matters.

    Things are things, but the people we love are IMPORTANT. <3


  2. Valerie Treichel
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:41 am

    Funny to read this right now because we are going to fix up our broken house and need to move temporarily. I have to purge lots of stuff. I also lost my brother many years ago to cancer and now my younger sister is sick. Your story helped me a lot and I see things more clearly. My deepest condolences regarding your brother. I know how painful it is. Thank you!


  3. liz
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:44 am

    I am so sorry to hear of your brother’s passing-the circle of life is a rough & bumpy road – hope you r are healing. Thank you from the bottom of my cluttered heart for this post. I am trying to downsize from a huge home to a beach cottage, but letting go of items inherited from family and just really good stuff has been so difficult for me(how many service for 12 china sets does a person need?) . I am hoping to reach the detachment stage and simply let it all go – just so tired of the stress.


  4. Victoria (Vikki)
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:46 am

    From one Victoria to another you can always make your readers smile and that is such a gift. I applaud your ability to even think you could get rid of your stuff. If there is a pill or some kind of medicine I could give my husband so he could at least THINK about getting rid of his stuff I would buy it in a heart beat. May God bless you with peace as you deal with the loss of your brother. Such a heart break. Post again soon, we all need a reason to smile.


  5. Lauren
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:47 am

    I gasped aloud about your brother. Victoria, I am SO sorry. I know you two had a special bond. My deepest condolences and my sincerest YO GO, GIRLs about the de-cluttering. It’s what I do for a living (I help others do it) and I LOVE the liberation folks experience when they let go. Thanks for sharing this with us. Hugs.


  6. Cat Ohala
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:50 am

    OHMYGODI’MGOINGTHROUGHTHESAMETHING. I’m being forced to move. After living in my condo for 28 YEARS. Yes. 28. Really. The owner wants to sell because he can make more money. I think he’s lying and will put lipstick on this pig and rent it for waaaaay more money. He hasn’t done ONE DAMN THING IN 28 YEARS. Except fix a toilet. Actually, he told me I can stay. If I pay $900 MORE A MONTH. Who makes that kind of money?! I’m 61 years old, for chrissakes, and a freelance editor and writer. Seriously?! I have to leave my peeps and gardens and neighbors and and and. I’ve found another place. An hour away. So I’m going through piles and piles of “stuff” that I’ve had for 60 years. Yes, 60. I still have my childhood stuffed animals. They will not be going to Salvation Army. BUT, all my clothes from when I was a size 10? Yes. They will be going. In the unlikely event that I reattain that size, I will buy NEW CLOTHES. Until then, buh-bye.

    I am so, so sorry to hear about your brother. Life continues to throw shit at us, doesn’t it? I think in situations like this, we need to control something. ANYTHING. But everything else is spiraling OUT OF CONTROL. It’s no wonder you found your focus.

    And for the LOVE OF GOD, please don’t get rid of Narnia wardrobe!


  7. Jean
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:51 am

    I have followed you for a very long time, and I’m terribly sorry to hear about your brother. Mostly, though, I am a little worried about you and your state of mind, and I’m hoping the people who love you are seeing to it that you are taking care of yourself. You’re just not the giant-fancy-thing lady and cat-rescuer lady you were. Please take care.


  8. Jacqui
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:51 am

    My brother died suddenly 8 years ago. It was devastating. I’m sorry for your loss too. One of the lasting effects was that I no longer see The Stuff in the same way. Now I buy the stuff I really (Really) want and I stopped buying anything that wasn’t both useful and pretty. It broke me to go through his belongings. To give away things that mattered to him but not to me. I wanted to, but could not build a temple to him in my house out of his stuff. It changed how I felt about my belongings and how I would hate for someone to agonize or be burdened by my stuff if I were gone. We are precious and ephemeral beings and the stuff is just stuff.
    I wish you peace and comfort.


  9. Melinda
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:53 am

    It’s so good to “see you” again! Your writing is like a breath of fresh air. Im very sorry about your brother.


  10. Kate Brinkley
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:54 am

    This may be my favorite post you have ever written. I struggle with all of these same feelings and hope that I can come to a stasis where STUFF isn’t ruling me. Also I am so very sorry to hear about your brother.


  11. Ruth
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:59 am

    I love to read your posts. They are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing yourself!


  12. michelle
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:04 am

    I am so sorry to hear about your brother – wishing you joy, peace, and healing.


  13. Andrea
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:06 am

    My sincere condolences on the loss of your brother. You are a gifted writer and it was wonderful to read your words once again.


  14. Kim
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:07 am

    I’m happy you’re back on line sharing your giant fancy things and general lunacy❤️ my blessings and sincerest condolences to you and your family over the loss of your Matthew.


  15. Peggy
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:08 am

    Oh Victoria. So sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing. I remember your lovely post about a trip out west (New Mexico?), with your brothers.


  16. Jennifer
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:10 am

    When my mother died (almost 10 years ago- gasp), I went through a strange period where I felt like nothing mattered. Nothing was important. After reading this post, I look back and evaluate that time in a different way. I will definitely use this read for future motivation. I’ve always loved your posts. But, this one speaks to me! My sincere condolences for the loss of your brother.


  17. Kristin Bedard
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:17 am

    I am so very sorry about the loss of your brother. I also lost my brother, Matthew, in 2001 from a motorcycle accident and I know the pain you are feeling. He was my only sibling. It is an earth shattering loss but I want you to know that it will get less painful with time. Truly. It heals. I enjoy your blog so very much as a fellow interior designer/secret closet hoarder/perfectionist/cat lover/gardener. Keep on sharing your progress! It is inspiring. Blessings to you and your family during such a terrible time.


  18. JeanFB
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:18 am

    I am so very very sorry about your brother. Thank you for writing this, during your time of grieving, so that you can maybe help some of us. And let me tell you, every single word of this resonated. It’s the fear of making a mistake. The fear of feeling regret. The anxiety over making the mistake of getting/keeping something for so long or maybe it has sentimental value and I’d be sorry for getting rid of it etc etc etc. I think this especially plagues those of us who are the keeper of family “heirlooms” too. But I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and this post is such a great boost to my resolve. Thank you again. And again, my very heartfelt condolences.


  19. Steven
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:21 am

    Thank you for continuing to share your journey. Those of us who look forward to the updates are grateful. Hoping they continue.

    Very sorry about your brother. Sincere condolences to you and your family.


  20. Leigh
    June 20, 2023 @ 11:25 am

    I’ve been missing your posts, and wondering where you’d gone. I am so sorry to hear about your brothers unexpected death. You and your family are in my thoughts!


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