61 Comments

  1. Laura Kennedy
    September 23, 2014 @ 11:28 am

    You’re absolutely right. Restraint is a HIGHLY overrated virtue. I once hired someone to slap a pie in an ex’s face. And I got to watch. Extremely satisfying.

    Reply

  2. Rachel P.
    September 23, 2014 @ 11:31 am

    Absolutely adore you, Lara, and the entire story. It was wonderful and just what I needed to see this morning. Cheers and what a cool memory.

    Reply

  3. Peggy
    September 23, 2014 @ 11:34 am

    Well, you already knew he was an ass; not taking a perfectly good umbrella when it was so artfully offered to him, just proves it!

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  4. Anne
    September 23, 2014 @ 11:54 am

    OH EM GEE. This is possibly the best thing ever. I don’t know why anyone would expect anything less from you 🙂 This might be better than the Kingdom Mirror story.

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  5. devon
    September 23, 2014 @ 11:57 am

    OMG, hysterical………how I wish I had been part of your friendship growing up- brilliant minds think alike and I always did adore my partners in crime!!!

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  6. Sharon
    September 23, 2014 @ 11:57 am

    Fantastic “partners-in-crime” aka bestie story & photos. Made me giggle. Sounds so much like me and my friends at that age. I love that he tried to fact check so many months later. Priceless. Even though when in these situations, we are hard on ourselves for not having the snappy comeback at hand, this makes a much more lasting impression. One he won’t forget. Love it!

    Reply

  7. Lindsey R
    September 23, 2014 @ 12:04 pm

    Love this! Love you even more for coming clean with this awesome story! What a jerk for not appreciating your gift but further more for littering! He deserved it just for leaving his doors unlocked. You were brilliant with sitting around to watch! I would have forgotten that part of the plan and missed out on the ever lasting memory of victory.

    Reply

  8. Gerry
    September 23, 2014 @ 12:22 pm

    I’m practically laughing till I’m crying right now. This is just about the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Thank you!

    Reply

  9. Kimberly ~ Serendipity Refined
    September 23, 2014 @ 12:23 pm

    It’s always so much more fun when you have a friend who helps you to defend your dignity. I have a couple of like that. I’m blessed. I love it that he drove a truck and that you were able to give him such a warm and thoughtful gift. While he didn’t show it at the time, it’s obviously one that he will remember for the rest of his life…or at least did for several months after the fact.

    A very long time ago (and right around the same time in my cerebral development), I moved to a new town to be near my boyfriend. After several months, I found out that he had been dating someone else at the same time he was seeing me. Amazingly, his name was NOT Rob, it was Tom. Thanks for clearly stating his name in the title or I may have had to lie down with a cool cloth on my forehead believing that you and I may have actually dated the same person. Not that it would be bad…it would be fabulous because it would mean that we may somehow be related (which is something that I’ve believed for over a year but still can’t prove). I can only hope that Tom’s other girlfriend enjoyed reading all of the cards and letters that he sent to me while he was dating her as much as I enjoyed sending them to her. Sadly, I left town before she received them and it was in the days before cellular phones and the internet so I have only my VERY VIVID imagination to rely on for what her response may have been. 🙂

    Reply

  10. Marilyn
    September 23, 2014 @ 1:02 pm

    My fervent wish for all the girls that have had a “Rob”; May they also have a “Lara”!! I’m sure you were first, but this reminds me of Mystic Pizza, where the girls dumped a load of fish in the ex’s convertible!! Love your blog, you are way funny!

    Reply

    • Kiki
      September 23, 2014 @ 4:01 pm

      Marilyn; you just made me thinking: I MUST watch the Mystic Pizza again…. what a hoot! 🙂

      Reply

  11. Geneviève
    September 23, 2014 @ 1:08 pm

    I LOVED this post! Long story short, today I’m having an epic bad day and you just put so much smile and laugh in my day with your pictures and your amazing way to tell a story!

    Merci!

    Reply

  12. GG
    September 23, 2014 @ 3:30 pm

    “I kept saying— what is happening? What is happening? Lara, I cannot see what is happening!
    DID HE TAKE THE UMBRELLA?”

    THAT WAS EPIC!!!! Thx 4 sharing.

    Reply

  13. judy
    September 23, 2014 @ 3:34 pm

    This anecdote really really infuriates me-I have come to think of myself as a sort of Granny or great great Aunt(which I actually am) to you and Paul and Miss Elvis, and the thought that this cretin took away some of the wonderful faith and trust you both must have had in Life and Human nature to embark on such a potentially perilous adventure is well– lets just say that anyone named Rob and owning a pick up truck better beware if they see a grey haired old lady clutching an umbrella and flying down the street at them cause they’re going get a thumping

    Reply

  14. kerri
    September 23, 2014 @ 3:53 pm

    You and Lara look smashing in these photos. Where is the link for part 1? I missed it….

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  15. Kiki
    September 23, 2014 @ 3:54 pm

    I only wish I would have had your guts @ the time of my disappointments…. Sometimes I even wish I’d still have that courage now! The fruits of a very ‘well behaved’ upbringing probably. Excellent reading with gr8 photos! Love, love LOVE it! Thanks ….

    Reply

  16. Patricia
    September 23, 2014 @ 4:23 pm

    I once dated a guy, who when clearly asked if he was married, replied he was divorced. After a few dates, a friend of my roommate informed me he was married and wife was now very pregnant. I chose not to ruin her life and said nothing. She’d find out soon enough what a dirtbag he was … but since I knew, he was terrified I would say something. Dirtbag was in the restaurant biz and was out on the town a lot. Everytime he saw me, he’d send over free drinks for my table … including my new (and single) boyfriend.
    I wish I had a pick-up load of crap and access to his car. But all the free drinks helped.

    Reply

  17. Christina in Cleveland
    September 23, 2014 @ 5:33 pm

    BWAH HA HA HA HA HA…. paybacks are a ….. son of a gun. lol Too funny. I hate those “what do I say when I realize you have just “clowned” me and I am completely aghast with no response. You done good girl! lol

    Reply

  18. Karen
    September 23, 2014 @ 6:40 pm

    One year in college some girls on the floor made these Easter eggs with googly eyes and bunny ears to feel like they were home, so my amazingly hilarious roommate painted hers black and we called it the bunny-o-death. Months later when a guy I mistakenly liked didn’t realize how amazingly lucky he was treated me less than my roommate and I thought he should have and the bunny-o-death was past its ripeness prime we decided to get a little revenge. Luckily he left his second floor window open and I have really good aim so the bunny-o-death got a new home and he got a smelly room. Good times.

    Reply

  19. Dee
    September 23, 2014 @ 8:50 pm

    You are just flat out brilliant !!!

    Reply

  20. Deb
    September 23, 2014 @ 9:09 pm

    Ah yes. When I was twenty-threeeeeeeee, I wish I’d had your creativity! There was an older woman around a not-an-ex-yet at the time, and I suspected something was going on. One day I was in his apartment alone and I decided to dig through dresser drawers. Like a little archeological dig of his love life, it turned out. I found cards from his high school ex which didn’t surprise me because he still seemed hung up on her. (Why the heck was I still around? Well I was twenty-threeeeeeeee that explains all.) Then I found a Valentine’s Day card from this older woman. Now it could have just been a V-Day card from a colleague. Right? Coworkers give each other V-Day cards all the time with XO on them, right??? Maybe?? And when you get one of these lovely cards from a coworker, you keep it safe buried under stuff in your dresser drawer. That’s what we all do, right? Hmmm-hmmm. BUT. I didn’t put the card back in the drawer. I got a little dish out of the kitchen. And matches. And I tore the card up into teeny-tiny pieces and ripped right between the X and the O. And them I set them afire. And then I dumped all the ashes in the toilet. And then I flushed it. And that was the end of the card. Maybe not the end of that relationship though … I should add, this was long ago before the internet and I had written some crazy long letters when I was upset. He had kept those in the drawer too. I was mortified. I sounded like a crazy-a** case!! I really should have ripped and burned those too.

    Reply

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