Antique ribbon cabinet: more stuff I do not need, but cannot live without. (Edition 57,892)
For years I have suffered from ARCD: Antique Ribbon Cabinet Deficiency… a little-known, (but fatal) plague.
I have bravely clung to life, despite this debilitating condition… surviving somehow, in the face of the knowledge that I might never acquire the useless glory of a massive case that serves no modern purpose.
But behold– a miracle has occurred.
I am cured!
I have been looking for one of these for years!
YEARS!
A lesser person would have given up– succumbing to the agony of a life bereft of yet another pointless piece of unneeded furniture.
A richer person would have simply bought one on eBay.
But I chose to live in limbo… hoping that one day all of my dreams would come true and I could clutter up my house with EVEN MORE STUFF.
I showed Paul… braced to fail his salient-question-interrogation; prepared to explain how we need a cabinet that I want to put nothing in. (Although as the days have passed, it has come to seem increasingly likely that I am now shopping for a huge bin of antique ribbon from 1880… is my work never done?)
I expected Paul to resist… but instead, he just nodded and said— nice.
Then he went back to his email.
He did NOT say:
where will you put it?
what will you do with it?
why do you need that?
As you can imagine, Self and I were alarmed.
Self whispered to me:
WHAT is HE doing?
Is Paul broken?
Or worse?
Is he abdicating the office of logic and frugality?
If so?
Will someone else be forced to assume the mantle?
WILL THAT SOMEONE ELSE BE US?
Self and I looked at each other in dismay… we cannot be the voice of reason!
We are already the voice of excess and Freddie Mercury!
We need to be chauffeured to the destination while wearing gold sequin pants, rhinestone armbands, and an impressive mustache! We cannot drive the tour bus!
Self and I do not have time to serve as BOTH rock god of extravagance AND overlord of prudence!
Self and I are agitated by all of these endless expectations!
Besides, have we not learned that self-governance leads to misuse of funds, abuse of power, and eventual economic collapse?
Finally Self was compelled to say this to Paul, because SOMEONE must mount a protest against bankruptcy! But Paul dismissed the dire warning… he said— it’s fine. It’s not like you’re collecting NASCAR figurines.
Self was like– eh? What? Well… ok then!
ps– if I want to collect NASCAR figurines, TRY AND STOP ME!
Anyway… enough about my hardships!
The original spot I’d planned for this was on the second floor; I thought I’d use it as a base for the large spool cabinet I use for jewelry storage… because randomly stacking old, general-store display cases one on top of the other is basically a visual representation of my soul.
But now that it is here, I love it even more than I thought I would, and I hate to hide it away upstairs in a bedroom.
If you’ve never seen one of these before but NOW YOU NEED ONE… I’ll share some thoughts because I’ve been searching FOREVER and am legitimately an expert on things-I-must-have-but-(irritatingly)-cannot-afford.
It’s hard to find a nice (or otherwise!) one of these for a “good” price (whatever that concept means to you.) In the Philadelphia/NYC area, these sell for anywhere between $2,000 and $5,000; depending on size and condition.
Some are just one column– narrow with flip-out doors. Some are HUGE with all kinds of pull outs. Some are small, table-top versions.
As of writing this post, there are two on eBay… link to each listing under respective photo.
I went to check etsy for you, and suffered a GFT-seizure of itchy disatisfaction after clicking on this listing and having my entire life revealed to be a sham: I am a lowly-pond-mud-dwelling-troll with zero satisfactory furnishings… also, I am poor.
SAD!
If you would like to buy it for me, I will trade you any of my internal organs. EVEN THE ONES NECESSARY TO SUSTAIN LIFE… I mean, I’m going to die lonely and bereft anyway if I don’t acquire a Ukrainian pharmacy!
Anyway. Ribbon cabinets.
If you can find one that has the original advertising print on it, it’s worth more. (This applies to all antiques everywhere.) And if the text is unmarred, it increases the value quite a bit… if you can find one full of original ribbon, you have hit the jackpot and should feel satisfied that you have won life.
There are clever repurposing ideas like wine storage, but that’s not my style… I mean, I like wine as much as the next person who uses alcohol to self-medicate anxiety and stress lush, but as a GFT* purist, I prefer my antique ribbon cabinet to hold rarified air rather than cluttering up its glory with a grocery item.
*Giant Fancy Thing
OK! That’s it! I have to go now and figure out how to:
A- get to the Ukraine.
B- find a bank that has sufficiently-poor security to allow me to rob them without consequence.
C- pack a 20′ by 12′ wall of cabinetry by myself because there is no way I’ll be able to convince Paul to help.
D- re-evaluate all of my (shortsighted) life choices that culminated in me NOT marrying an elderly billionaire… and see if it is too late to rectify that situation.
New here? Start with THE KINGDOM MIRROR
OR
antique grand piano into our kitchen island
This is the second half of putting drawers in the piano… the video of making the actual drawers is here.
March 28, 2017 @ 4:48 pm
What a fun piece to own! First thing I thought of was a wine rack 😊 I
March 28, 2017 @ 4:51 pm
Dear Self: that is a glorious station for ribbon and wrapping paper.
March 28, 2017 @ 4:52 pm
With one Craiglist link, you managed to find the MOST GIANT and the MOST FANCY of all the things. I salute you. And, for the record, I always knew you could do it. Brava.
March 28, 2017 @ 5:20 pm
I about had a seizure when I clicked on the link to the pharmacy cabinet. Oh my…..be still my heart!!! It only cost slightly less than my first HOUSE (38k in ’77). I’d also like to thank you for adding to my competition in the hunt for my own antique ribbon cabinet. I also only want a bargain! I do have 2 antique spool chests that I love….but I admit, the hunt is half the fun, although I’m not nearly as dedicated to the cause as you! Great post.
March 28, 2017 @ 6:01 pm
Ze Cabinet is divine Darling and I must add that the Elderly Billionaire is well within your scope and skills…track him down-move into the manse and once he’s asleep(try some camomile tea)sneak Paul into your private Boudoir 3 floors up. As soon as you have a scrumptious line of credit buy EVERYTHING and explain how as much as you adore him you don’t want the fires of passion to cool and so adieu mon cherie and you will always remember him.
Oh-and of course tell Paul that he’s your long lost great Uncle who loves to indulge your GFT whims ……….could this work?…..not as hard as tracking down a GFT in a dicey neighborhood,dismantling same with a box of toothpicks and Paul’s ingenuity-carting out to a borrowed truck and reassembling it in your home.
March 28, 2017 @ 6:14 pm
Such a beautiful GFT, although I would classify it as MFT (medium fancy thing) no matter – still loverly and fantastical! Empty shows off its darling simplistic beauty. As for Paul, I bet he was engrossed in NASCAR collectibles on the web, and therefore gave a grunt of an answer instead of the usual what, where, why? Don’t worry, he will return to normal soon!
March 28, 2017 @ 6:30 pm
I love it, I love it, I really really love it. I think it needs to stay empty. What great woodwork. Yes you have to have it. We have lots of GFT things from garage sales. I do have an Eastlake settee from New Orleans which I got at a garage sale. It has ink spots and even some grease spots in one place, but why bother about perfect. With kids and three cats, it didn’t have to be perfect. If it had been perfect I would have had to worry about the kids and cats being on it. It is not comfortable, but it goes very well with the many other pieces of Eastlake furniture we have. I use my grandparents wedding bedroom set from Oct. 1810. Another garage sale find was as Windsor rocker from 1840. I have a rocking chair fetish. I also have oodles of Pattern glass made by the Heisey Glass Company. I need to sell some stuff–but antique glass doesn’t sell and people do not seem to want Eastlake chairs and especially not a rocking chair from 1840.
March 28, 2017 @ 7:06 pm
I love it, I love it, I love it. I would leave it empty. The inside racks are beautiful and you can see the lettering better. I identify with you. I got my GFT 1880 New Orleans settee at a garage sale. Of course it has some ink stains, a grease stain and is faded; but because it is not perfect, I do not have to worry about the kids and 3 cats being on it. It goes with the rest of our Eastlake furniture. I have a rocking chair fetish, so another great great find was a Windsor rocker from 1840. I love the knot hole in the seat and the three different woods used to make it. Some Eastlake chairs were a great find to go with my grandparents bedroom set–a wedding present from October 1880. But no one in the family wants a rocking chair from 1840 nor Eastlake furniture.
March 28, 2017 @ 8:00 pm
I love the open airiness of the empty cabinet just as it is and it is lovely with the orchids on top. From experience, however, I have learned not to leave a ceramic saucer in direct contact with the wood. I make little spacers out of old corks so air flows underneath and prevents mold. Enjoy!
March 28, 2017 @ 8:29 pm
You could always get one of these for your wine!
http://www.ebay.com/itm/L42025-MAITLAND-SMITH-5130-663-House-Motif-Mahogany-Lighted-Bar-Cabinet-New-/352013656601?hash=item51f5a62219:g:4-IAAOSw4CFY1Wfa
March 28, 2017 @ 8:38 pm
That is a most wonderful GFT, and this may be my favorite post yet. I am concerned about Paul now, though. Mostly because of his inexplicable acquiescence, but partly, because I think the poster who suggested he may be secretly collecting NASCAR figurines might have an insight you would be wise to investigate.
March 28, 2017 @ 8:49 pm
A ribbon spool cabinet has been on my wish list for so long.. what a treasure you’ve found.. I’m still searching for one, and it doesn’t even need to be that great of a GFT. I’m sort of jealous of your find, in a sort of GWE, green with envy, kind of way, lol. I do enjoy your posts and the adventures you and a Paul share with us.
Smiles,
Carol
March 28, 2017 @ 10:08 pm
I am still waiting to see the kitchen. Is it finished?
March 28, 2017 @ 10:45 pm
First, with the flowers in the entry: definitely.
Second, with the other spool cabinet atop: meh, not so much.
Third, do you think fabulousness in question would perchance hold vodka bottles as prettily as vintage wine? Asking for a friend, of course….
March 29, 2017 @ 12:44 am
How amazing would that cabinet be in an old fashioned Victorian ice cream parlor? amazing. I love your cabinet find! Now I need one to store all my jewelry in…
March 29, 2017 @ 3:36 am
Love the cabinet, for past forty years l have collected ribbons. I decorate Easter eggs and use very small bits of ribbon in process. I like the simplicity of your cabinet.
A question, did you post pictures of your completed kitchen?
March 29, 2017 @ 5:34 am
When notice of a new VEB blog post arrives to my inbox, I stop myself opening it in order to wait just the perfect moment to savour every last word of the post and ensuing comments. As I did with the notice of this post – it arrived yesterday (28 Mar 2017) and I saved it read today in an effort to dispel the doom and gloom oozing from Remainers moaning at the triggering of Brexit today here in the UK. Turned out to be a very wise choice (working wonderfully to chase off the Remoaner pall), and most importantly…OMGoodness, VEB, this has to be your crowning glory (so far, I know better than to think there could ever be a final complete totally crowning glory from you!). Breathtaking – that lace and ribbon cabinet is quite simply a breathtaking addition to your already awesome home. Ftr, I and several blue ribbon panels (not to brag, of course) consider me to be something of an expert needlewoman and possessor of an extensive collection of vintage and antique haberdashery and accoutrements – and I honestly had no clue such a wonderment of storage cabinetry existed. WOW, and I sincerely hope one day I stumble across one of these at a reasonable price. Enjoy that lovely GFT, enjoy!
March 29, 2017 @ 8:01 am
The cabinet is gorgeous! Are you going to tell us how much you paid for it?
March 29, 2017 @ 9:59 am
Elizabeth, I absolutely adore your writing ! You always make me smile, such charming wit!
March 29, 2017 @ 10:40 am
I love NASCAR figurines! I collect NASCAR figurines and the die-cast cars too. Hey, I just had an epiphany – maybe I need a ribbon cabinet to showcase my NASCAR collection!