Antique ribbon cabinet: more stuff I do not need, but cannot live without. (Edition 57,892)
For years I have suffered from ARCD: Antique Ribbon Cabinet Deficiency… a little-known, (but fatal) plague.
I have bravely clung to life, despite this debilitating condition… surviving somehow, in the face of the knowledge that I might never acquire the useless glory of a massive case that serves no modern purpose.
But behold– a miracle has occurred.
I am cured!
I have been looking for one of these for years!
YEARS!
A lesser person would have given up– succumbing to the agony of a life bereft of yet another pointless piece of unneeded furniture.
A richer person would have simply bought one on eBay.
But I chose to live in limbo… hoping that one day all of my dreams would come true and I could clutter up my house with EVEN MORE STUFF.
I showed Paul… braced to fail his salient-question-interrogation; prepared to explain how we need a cabinet that I want to put nothing in. (Although as the days have passed, it has come to seem increasingly likely that I am now shopping for a huge bin of antique ribbon from 1880… is my work never done?)
I expected Paul to resist… but instead, he just nodded and said— nice.
Then he went back to his email.
He did NOT say:
where will you put it?
what will you do with it?
why do you need that?
As you can imagine, Self and I were alarmed.
Self whispered to me:
WHAT is HE doing?
Is Paul broken?
Or worse?
Is he abdicating the office of logic and frugality?
If so?
Will someone else be forced to assume the mantle?
WILL THAT SOMEONE ELSE BE US?
Self and I looked at each other in dismay… we cannot be the voice of reason!
We are already the voice of excess and Freddie Mercury!
We need to be chauffeured to the destination while wearing gold sequin pants, rhinestone armbands, and an impressive mustache! We cannot drive the tour bus!
Self and I do not have time to serve as BOTH rock god of extravagance AND overlord of prudence!
Self and I are agitated by all of these endless expectations!
Besides, have we not learned that self-governance leads to misuse of funds, abuse of power, and eventual economic collapse?
Finally Self was compelled to say this to Paul, because SOMEONE must mount a protest against bankruptcy! But Paul dismissed the dire warning… he said— it’s fine. It’s not like you’re collecting NASCAR figurines.
Self was like– eh? What? Well… ok then!
ps– if I want to collect NASCAR figurines, TRY AND STOP ME!
Anyway… enough about my hardships!
The original spot I’d planned for this was on the second floor; I thought I’d use it as a base for the large spool cabinet I use for jewelry storage… because randomly stacking old, general-store display cases one on top of the other is basically a visual representation of my soul.
But now that it is here, I love it even more than I thought I would, and I hate to hide it away upstairs in a bedroom.
If you’ve never seen one of these before but NOW YOU NEED ONE… I’ll share some thoughts because I’ve been searching FOREVER and am legitimately an expert on things-I-must-have-but-(irritatingly)-cannot-afford.
It’s hard to find a nice (or otherwise!) one of these for a “good” price (whatever that concept means to you.) In the Philadelphia/NYC area, these sell for anywhere between $2,000 and $5,000; depending on size and condition.
Some are just one column– narrow with flip-out doors. Some are HUGE with all kinds of pull outs. Some are small, table-top versions.
As of writing this post, there are two on eBay… link to each listing under respective photo.
I went to check etsy for you, and suffered a GFT-seizure of itchy disatisfaction after clicking on this listing and having my entire life revealed to be a sham: I am a lowly-pond-mud-dwelling-troll with zero satisfactory furnishings… also, I am poor.
SAD!
If you would like to buy it for me, I will trade you any of my internal organs. EVEN THE ONES NECESSARY TO SUSTAIN LIFE… I mean, I’m going to die lonely and bereft anyway if I don’t acquire a Ukrainian pharmacy!
Anyway. Ribbon cabinets.
If you can find one that has the original advertising print on it, it’s worth more. (This applies to all antiques everywhere.) And if the text is unmarred, it increases the value quite a bit… if you can find one full of original ribbon, you have hit the jackpot and should feel satisfied that you have won life.
There are clever repurposing ideas like wine storage, but that’s not my style… I mean, I like wine as much as the next person who uses alcohol to self-medicate anxiety and stress lush, but as a GFT* purist, I prefer my antique ribbon cabinet to hold rarified air rather than cluttering up its glory with a grocery item.
*Giant Fancy Thing
OK! That’s it! I have to go now and figure out how to:
A- get to the Ukraine.
B- find a bank that has sufficiently-poor security to allow me to rob them without consequence.
C- pack a 20′ by 12′ wall of cabinetry by myself because there is no way I’ll be able to convince Paul to help.
D- re-evaluate all of my (shortsighted) life choices that culminated in me NOT marrying an elderly billionaire… and see if it is too late to rectify that situation.
New here? Start with THE KINGDOM MIRROR
OR
antique grand piano into our kitchen island
This is the second half of putting drawers in the piano… the video of making the actual drawers is here.
March 28, 2017 @ 12:54 pm
I’m surprised Martha Stewart gift wrapping room is not filled wall to wall with these. How could that be?
March 28, 2017 @ 7:47 pm
Do we know it isn’t?
March 28, 2017 @ 12:54 pm
A) you crack me up, laughing as tears roll…
B) i too am poor but I want what I want and when, So i eat peanut butter or egg sandwiches to get said item of desire
C) Paul seems to be a wide man choosing his battle catefully.
Congratulations on that awesome find…
March 28, 2017 @ 12:58 pm
It’s gorgeous, and yes, I DO need one! Alas, I have not the resources to follow my dreams as you do. 🙁
March 28, 2017 @ 1:13 pm
What a fabulous treat, what a divine GFT, what unearthly covetousness this cabinet has roused in me. Are such things available in Berlin? Is my beautiful kitchen/craft room with its drawers of orderly reels of ribbon no longer sufficient? Who can say, except eBay.de….
March 28, 2017 @ 1:15 pm
Today in “Things I didn’t know I needed until now”…antique ribbon cabinet with original lettering, especially something zippy like “Ladies Choice”. I love it with a well-potted plant atop. Although I would fear my mother taking it for actual ribbon storage, so I’d have to weld it to the floor somehow. That should be your next blog: “How to protect your GFTs from handsy family members”.
Well done. Where did you find it?
March 28, 2017 @ 1:22 pm
My husband actually wants one of these so bad. He wants it for wine of course. We saw one for sell once and we couldn’t afford it but he still talks about it. But I kept thinking why use it for wine when I can fill it with ribbon in my craft room ya weirdo! So if we ever find one we will see who wins.
March 28, 2017 @ 1:25 pm
clearly you need two, no?
March 28, 2017 @ 1:32 pm
Love it! It looks great at the base of the stairs. Quest finally fulfilled. Perhaps Paul has finally raised the white flag and is at peace! It’s so much easier than resisting and being the voice of reason.
Can’t wait for the next GFT that is on your list. Shop on!
March 28, 2017 @ 1:41 pm
Your post reminded me I saw one of these on a house tour several years ago. It was in a dining room, gloriously empty, flooded with beautiful sunlight! It is FANTABULOUS!!! You are one lucky gal! Enjoy it!
April 15, 2017 @ 5:34 am
VEB, don’t you want to entertain your readers with an updated house tour of your own? For funsies?
March 28, 2017 @ 1:55 pm
Oh how I love my secret enabler friends on the internet, what a fantastic find ! but please, PLEASE, tell me that I can help support your “research and buying” disease by purchasing a T-shirt with your Blog, FB, IG info that says we all need “GFT” you MUST, you MUST have these post haste! Now – I off in search of said ribbon case!
March 28, 2017 @ 2:07 pm
I do think you need it for storing your non vintage champagne so you’ll always have some on hand for spontaneous mimosas. Right now I have mimosas on my mind, so clearly everything I see is a GFT container for champers.
March 28, 2017 @ 2:18 pm
What is it with that price? $30,746.87??? Couldn’t they have put $30,000, or $31,000? (At that price, who cares about an extra thou?) And 87 cents? Really, what is wrong with that seller?
You’re right to keep the ribbon cabinet empty. It looks much prettier. And as much as I love wine, putting wine bottles in it destroys the soul of the piece.
Paul didn’t object because it’s fairly small, fits nicely in a corner, and you probably found it for a good price–although I note your caginess in neglecting to allude to the bargain price you paid.
March 28, 2017 @ 2:32 pm
Yes, I’ve noticed that unusual caginess too, Kay. If it was super expensive, then you just make it an early/late Birthday/Christmas present and promise you won’t want any other presents!
March 28, 2017 @ 6:06 pm
Guessing that’s the conversion to dollars price, since the seller is in Ukraine? Alas, waaay too rich for my pocketbook, and I would not have the room for it anyway. Should I be thankful I live in a small house?
March 29, 2017 @ 7:52 am
Hello! I am the seller of pharmacy display on Etsy. I put price for it in euro so I suppose it was automatically converted to US dollars that’s why you see a strange price with cents(((
March 28, 2017 @ 2:59 pm
Don’t you hate it when they stop being the voice of reason and prudence?? I am a Serial Craigslist Rug Collector, and I used to be able to rely on my husband to at least ask several pertinent if ineffectual questions, such as “How much is it?” and “Where are you going to put it?” and, on occasion, “Does one woman with 1400 square feet of floor space really need 3000 square feet of area rugs??” These questions would not deter me, but they were a time-honoured part of the ritual that always preceded my purchases. Lately he only gives a token glance and non-comittal grunt when I excitedly show him the listing for the One Rug, The Rug to Rule Them All, The Rug That Will Really Tie the Room Together. It’s like he’s given up and it takes all the fun out of it. Resistance may be futile but it’s still expected.
March 28, 2017 @ 3:04 pm
I’ve been meaning to tell you that your spool cabinet inspired me/drove me insane. I spent months hunting the internet for one that was pretty and affordable… which basically doesn’t exist. This led me down a rabbit hole of antique cabinets for various workers, which are abundant on the ebay. I ended up finding a travel cabinet for a watchmaker that was in terrible shape. When it arrived my husband said, “Wait.. you paid $50 for THIS???” Fool. I dismantled the whole thing, stripped it, refinished it, and lined the drawers with felt. Now I love it. Best way to store jewelry ever. Thank you, but I also think I should start avoiding this black hole of glitter frenzied blog.
April 8, 2017 @ 10:11 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one who went in search of an antique spool thread. Keep in mind I don’t even sew! There’s no rhyme or reason to me wanting it, but who cares? I found one in great condition in an antique store. He was asking $1200 so I walked away. (I should mention I refuse to pay full price for ANYTHING.)
Then I ended up buying a house out in the country with 2 acres because it was a great deal. Keep in mind I don’t need another house & I’m not going to rent it out. My daughter moved out so I decided I needed a giant project. Something I could dismantle & put back together. God bless my hubby. He just said ok … & we have a house? Probably because I don’t try to be the voice of reason when he’s buying random things that we clearly don’t need. Like the Bronco that he bought that I wish he’d just sell. He’s not going to. I accept that he needs his project vehicle. At least it will keep him from ruining the new truck whenever it gets put back together.
March 28, 2017 @ 3:38 pm
OMG So 😂 LOL. I think in a previous life’s you may have been the sister of Betsy Ross🇺🇸
March 28, 2017 @ 3:50 pm
First, you want to store wine in a darkened space. So unless you tuck it away (what’s the point of having it then!) it isn’t a good place for wine.
Second, the ribbon case is a thing of beauty! It would be loverly full, but I think having a few antique rolls of ribbon on one of the shelves to refer to the use could be stunning but still show off the beauty of cabinet’s structure. Also more affordable/realistic. What do you think??
March 28, 2017 @ 3:57 pm
Oooh, pretty!
March 28, 2017 @ 4:00 pm
Nice!
March 28, 2017 @ 4:05 pm
Paul did what?? Girl, I am suspicious. Having been married almost 49 years, I have learned they usually don’t change their routine in voicing objection. Then when he randomly mentioned NASCAR figurines a light went on! Was that his guilty conscience telling on him? Is he secretly collecting NASCAR figurines so he knows he has no room to object to your GFT obsession? Better start asking questions or doing some snooping!
March 28, 2017 @ 4:41 pm
I believe I have some amazing vintage ribbon for you! I may have donated/sold at Haddonfield Lions Club annual flea market last spring but will check. There was a trunk full of them eons ago at a yard sale and I HAD to have them! The colors and the labeling are amazing. My tolerator-in-residence actually used to sell ribbon back in the day and indicating they were very nice (more reason to keep/hoard.) Will check on inventory from the usual hiding places. They are all from Pennocks! Bonus local connection!
March 28, 2017 @ 4:46 pm
I love it! And speaking of the piece in Ukraine…I think Ukraine is a wonderland of GFTs still in use from the pre-communist era… when I was there in 2011 completing the adoption of my two little ones I was astounded when I walked into the corner grocery by my apartment and found that I had to select my fruit and vegetables through the beautifully curved glass window of a vintage wooden grocery case! I felt as if I had stepped back in time.