Antique ribbon cabinet: more stuff I do not need, but cannot live without. (Edition 57,892)
For years I have suffered from ARCD: Antique Ribbon Cabinet Deficiency… a little-known, (but fatal) plague.
I have bravely clung to life, despite this debilitating condition… surviving somehow, in the face of the knowledge that I might never acquire the useless glory of a massive case that serves no modern purpose.
But behold– a miracle has occurred.
I am cured!
I have been looking for one of these for years!
YEARS!
A lesser person would have given up– succumbing to the agony of a life bereft of yet another pointless piece of unneeded furniture.
A richer person would have simply bought one on eBay.
But I chose to live in limbo… hoping that one day all of my dreams would come true and I could clutter up my house with EVEN MORE STUFF.
I showed Paul… braced to fail his salient-question-interrogation; prepared to explain how we need a cabinet that I want to put nothing in. (Although as the days have passed, it has come to seem increasingly likely that I am now shopping for a huge bin of antique ribbon from 1880… is my work never done?)
I expected Paul to resist… but instead, he just nodded and said— nice.
Then he went back to his email.
He did NOT say:
where will you put it?
what will you do with it?
why do you need that?
As you can imagine, Self and I were alarmed.
Self whispered to me:
WHAT is HE doing?
Is Paul broken?
Or worse?
Is he abdicating the office of logic and frugality?
If so?
Will someone else be forced to assume the mantle?
WILL THAT SOMEONE ELSE BE US?
Self and I looked at each other in dismay… we cannot be the voice of reason!
We are already the voice of excess and Freddie Mercury!
We need to be chauffeured to the destination while wearing gold sequin pants, rhinestone armbands, and an impressive mustache! We cannot drive the tour bus!
Self and I do not have time to serve as BOTH rock god of extravagance AND overlord of prudence!
Self and I are agitated by all of these endless expectations!
Besides, have we not learned that self-governance leads to misuse of funds, abuse of power, and eventual economic collapse?
Finally Self was compelled to say this to Paul, because SOMEONE must mount a protest against bankruptcy! But Paul dismissed the dire warning… he said— it’s fine. It’s not like you’re collecting NASCAR figurines.
Self was like– eh? What? Well… ok then!
ps– if I want to collect NASCAR figurines, TRY AND STOP ME!
Anyway… enough about my hardships!
The original spot I’d planned for this was on the second floor; I thought I’d use it as a base for the large spool cabinet I use for jewelry storage… because randomly stacking old, general-store display cases one on top of the other is basically a visual representation of my soul.
But now that it is here, I love it even more than I thought I would, and I hate to hide it away upstairs in a bedroom.
If you’ve never seen one of these before but NOW YOU NEED ONE… I’ll share some thoughts because I’ve been searching FOREVER and am legitimately an expert on things-I-must-have-but-(irritatingly)-cannot-afford.
It’s hard to find a nice (or otherwise!) one of these for a “good” price (whatever that concept means to you.) In the Philadelphia/NYC area, these sell for anywhere between $2,000 and $5,000; depending on size and condition.
Some are just one column– narrow with flip-out doors. Some are HUGE with all kinds of pull outs. Some are small, table-top versions.
As of writing this post, there are two on eBay… link to each listing under respective photo.
I went to check etsy for you, and suffered a GFT-seizure of itchy disatisfaction after clicking on this listing and having my entire life revealed to be a sham: I am a lowly-pond-mud-dwelling-troll with zero satisfactory furnishings… also, I am poor.
SAD!
If you would like to buy it for me, I will trade you any of my internal organs. EVEN THE ONES NECESSARY TO SUSTAIN LIFE… I mean, I’m going to die lonely and bereft anyway if I don’t acquire a Ukrainian pharmacy!
Anyway. Ribbon cabinets.
If you can find one that has the original advertising print on it, it’s worth more. (This applies to all antiques everywhere.) And if the text is unmarred, it increases the value quite a bit… if you can find one full of original ribbon, you have hit the jackpot and should feel satisfied that you have won life.
There are clever repurposing ideas like wine storage, but that’s not my style… I mean, I like wine as much as the next person who uses alcohol to self-medicate anxiety and stress lush, but as a GFT* purist, I prefer my antique ribbon cabinet to hold rarified air rather than cluttering up its glory with a grocery item.
*Giant Fancy Thing
OK! That’s it! I have to go now and figure out how to:
A- get to the Ukraine.
B- find a bank that has sufficiently-poor security to allow me to rob them without consequence.
C- pack a 20′ by 12′ wall of cabinetry by myself because there is no way I’ll be able to convince Paul to help.
D- re-evaluate all of my (shortsighted) life choices that culminated in me NOT marrying an elderly billionaire… and see if it is too late to rectify that situation.
New here? Start with THE KINGDOM MIRROR
OR
antique grand piano into our kitchen island
This is the second half of putting drawers in the piano… the video of making the actual drawers is here.
March 29, 2017 @ 3:32 pm
I love the cabinet by the stairs with the orchids on top! You have my permission to put no more than six spools of (vintage!) ribbon in the cabinet. It is very nearly perfect as is; you do not want it to appear cluttered, as it would if filled. Less is more, in this case. (I know that is not exactly your style, but please consider it here.)
Paul is a master craftsman. That piano island is fabulous!
March 29, 2017 @ 5:24 pm
You are a hoot! “…because SOMEONE must mount a protest against bankruptcy ” 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹
March 30, 2017 @ 10:07 am
That is one beautiful cabinet and the way this one is put together makes it actually more usable. I would use my “go to” technique and have custom glass shelves cut that will fit on top of each of the ribbon spool holders and then display precious TFTs (Tiny Fancy Things). Silver boxes, little crystal pieces, etc. It would be fabulousness wrapped in awesomeness – something every room needs a touch of!
March 31, 2017 @ 7:11 pm
You always crack me up. (in a good way) I love the ribbon thingy! Moveable parts and everything!!
Off topic question – your floors are beautiful! What color is your stain?
April 2, 2017 @ 9:25 pm
Victoria, I think that it’s beautiful, empty as you have it with the orchids on top. There’s something about the sunlight shining through the glass that’s very pretty. Thanks for showing us all of the GFT that we would never know about without you!
April 4, 2017 @ 5:07 pm
Hi Victoria, I would totally love to love to find a Ribbon Cabinet! I have scoured Craigslist and the local area but no luck. Apparently Texas was not big in the Ribbon Cabinet area…sigh! I personally make Wreath and sell them and as a trade downfall in that I am somewhat a ribbon “Hoarder” “Junkie”, ribbon obsessed 🙂 you get my drift 🙂 So how do you manage to come by such beautiful cabinets for such inexpensive prices. Truly I wish to know. I must admit I have a serious case of Ribbon Cabinet envy going on here.
On the other hand I am so glad you are able to find these wonderful GFT’s and give them a lovely home.!
April 5, 2017 @ 1:43 pm
Just found your blog. .enjoyed!
April 13, 2017 @ 9:25 pm
Well now I want want 🙁 – I am strongly starting to suspect you owned a Haberdashery in a past life.
April 14, 2017 @ 10:54 pm
That is a gorgeous piece! The plant seems to show it off even more in that corner. I think if it was mine I would not put very many ribbons in there at all, just enough to give a nod to its history.
May 18, 2017 @ 10:29 pm
My favorite part of this entire blog post? Going to the site to see the Pharmacy from the 1930’s, seeing the price as more than $31,000 – and then spying the “Buy It Now” button and the “Add to Cart” button. They just don’t go together……unless you’re Bill Gates or something…..
May 18, 2017 @ 10:38 pm
I have a yarn passion. I think I would store my yarn in the cabinet in color order (like a new box of Crayola Crayons) and then, since they are already on spools, just sit in front of the cabinet and knit/crochet away. I don’t think I could leave it empty, even if it was more tasteful to do so……
May 29, 2017 @ 5:39 pm
Amazing piece of furniture, and that “eh? What? Well… ok then!” is one of the best possible reactions x)
June 20, 2017 @ 12:39 am
I guess you decided you don’t need it after all. Or, perhaps, you’re trading up? http://www.ebay.com/itm/Antique-ribbon-cabinet-old-general-store-display-case/222545820492
July 10, 2017 @ 7:14 pm
I did see the beautiful antique square grand piano you repurposed. This agonizes me as much as putting wine in your ribbon cabinet would agonize you I currently am in possession of one of these beautiful grand old things from 1864 and am dreaming of the day I can have it restored to museum quality and play it….but the ribbon cabinet does fascinate me.
April 14, 2018 @ 5:04 pm
Well now I must have one. And it’s all your fault. Will Paul mind when I send my marriage counseling bills to you?? But seriously, I consider it growth in a husband when they stop asking, 1. What are you going to do with that? 2. Where are you going to put that? 3. Why do you think we need that? AND THE WORST 4. What are you going to get rid of to make room for that?
It’s taken 31 years but I have succeeded in wearing down my poor long-suffering husband so that he only asks one of these questions about every 10th GFT acquisition. Progress!!!
January 22, 2021 @ 4:47 pm
I am about to achieve my 6th (you read thar right) ribbon cabinet. All are filled with ribbon as they were meant to be, fie on wine and more so on rolling pins! Enjoy your prize, it is beautiful!