243 Comments

  1. Sharon
    May 31, 2014 @ 3:43 am

    Victoria, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and you always give me a fit of uncontrollable giggles, but this is the first time I’m leaving a comment. I completely agree about these all white kitchens. All white rooms make me want to run screaming from them. Do I drool over kitchens on Houzz? You bet, but I’m living in a rental property with, you guessed it, all white walls…IN EVERY ROOM. Thank God for the artwork and the plants or I might have damaged myself by now. Do I want one of those big honking kitchens? Yes, I do, as the one I have is quite small. I want company while I cook, windows in my kitchen, a walk-in pantry, a beautiful/functional backsplash, bookshelves for my cookbooks, an island with a prep sink, a dishwasher, a refrigerator and freezer large enough to store more than food for gnomes, room to store all my stuff, and the option of eating in the kitchen or the dining room, walls that are not WHITE…Sorry, Kitchen Envy got the better of me. **Sigh** I will continue to live vicariously through your remodeling adventures. What I cannot believe is that you VEB, the Envy of All, do not have that faucet yet.

    Reply

  2. Lee
    May 31, 2014 @ 1:45 pm

    You are such a funny writer, I simply love reading your posts. It’s never just one snicker or snort. My husband looks up and says oh, you’re reading that blog again!

    Reply

  3. Keri | Ivy Clad
    May 31, 2014 @ 4:19 pm

    I laughed so hard reading this. Just this morning, I was cleaning off my stove while glaring at my cherry wood finish (remember that trend) cabinets out of the corner of my eye. So you know right where I’m livin’ sista!

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  4. Kate
    June 1, 2014 @ 10:48 am

    Ha!! This is one of the funniest things I’ve read lately. For sanity’s sake, let’s all hope Christopher Peacock becomes the new mauve.

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  5. Elmar
    June 1, 2014 @ 2:02 pm

    As we’re in the middle of a kitchen update, I’ve been looking at kitchens in houzz and other shelter sites. I remembered Ms. Barnes name when this post was referenced in a houzz kitchen post (another white kitchen) which brought me here. Thanks to Ms Barnes for doing an Emperor-has-no-clothes number on the megakitchen thing. I’ve taken to referring to our project as the nonwhite kitchen.

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  6. ladygraystone
    June 1, 2014 @ 5:46 pm

    Victoria and all- Many wise comments were written here but the obvious has been overlooked- white kitchens emphasize your wrinkles. Take it from a retired real estate broker – white kitchens AGE you. Seriously, standing in a white kitchen with the sun streaming in makes one not look so fantastic. Who needs that in addition to all of the aforementioned issues?

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  7. bob
    June 2, 2014 @ 10:49 pm

    As the Paul analogue (without the talent) at the beginning of our project, I heartily endorse this post

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  8. Katie Howard
    June 3, 2014 @ 10:31 am

    I saw this: http://www.decorsteals.com/ and thought of you….then I thought “hahahahaha these people don’t know what *huge* is…please that is not a kingdom mirror!…but it’s gold…and it’s a mirror.”

    Reply

  9. Becky
    June 3, 2014 @ 11:56 am

    I am embracing my formica as being on trend and ahead of my time.

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  10. Mia Purdin
    June 3, 2014 @ 11:23 pm

    You are my hero. Thanks for restoring a touch of my self-worth… damn Pinterest kitchens are seriously the bane of my existence.

    🙂

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  11. leslie @ definitely not martha
    June 4, 2014 @ 3:06 pm

    I think formica is great – it’s durable, comes in tons of colours/options and is so reasonably priced.

    That said, I still want to redo my kitchen. But it’s not because it’s not white (though it isn’t). It’s because the layout was designed by someone more concerned with form than function. Makes me crazy because it looks relatively nice, but sucks donkey balls to actually cook/entertain in. I’m definitely over the ALL WHITE ALL THE TIME trend though. I like a little pizazz.

    Reply

  12. Liz Holmes
    June 4, 2014 @ 5:49 pm

    I sing to your glory. I mean, this is what I mean. Gluten-free marble and all. [That’s what you said, right? Or did I just read your mind?]

    Reply

  13. the misfit
    June 4, 2014 @ 7:04 pm

    That faucet is very interesting. I didn’t even know they made them like that, and unusual is definitely captivating per se. But in case you’ve missed it, you do realize it’s an ordinary commercial faucet as reimagined by Dr. Seuss, right? Not that he wouldn’t have been a fabulous kitchen designer. I just want to make sure you see the Sneetches before you spend $2500 on a fixture.

    Reply

  14. Martha in Kansas
    June 5, 2014 @ 10:29 am

    I got so stuck on one of the photos, I was lost for some time. I pondered the name Atho Mear Kansas — because KANSAS! It took longer than I’d care to admit.

    Reply

  15. Allison
    June 5, 2014 @ 12:26 pm

    Amen. Home decor is the new beauty/fashion routine where you feel like crap because you don’t have (fill in blank). Hysterical post about this madness!

    Reply

  16. The Vintique Object
    June 6, 2014 @ 12:55 pm

    These kitchens are beautiful, but quite frankly, I’d be embarrassed to have one. I prefer a more humble space — in size and style.

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  17. Melissa
    June 6, 2014 @ 4:01 pm

    For real, I can IRON directly on my Formica countertops. I’m never upgrading!

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  18. Bruce
    June 7, 2014 @ 8:47 pm

    That faucet in the link looks like it should be performing Da Vinci robotic prostate surgery…

    Reply

  19. carole
    June 9, 2014 @ 8:55 am

    You had me until “Let us embrace oak cabinetry from 1980.” As we must face the tragedy of the current trend (painted cabinetry, especially white painted cabinetry, looks like a disaster in a few short years. As the wood shrinks and contracts, the painted joints crack and pop, leaving unsightly breaks in the paint, and flaking and bare wood showing), we must also face the failings of the 1980’s. Never, ever embrace oak cabinetry unless it is perhaps rift sawn. Those who embrace fashion over functionality will have many years to regret their decision. Those marble countertops however, will last several lifetimes.

    Reply

  20. Laura
    June 9, 2014 @ 3:19 pm

    Love this post… While playing in the beach in France today my son found your starter chunk of marble. Due to it’s weight, I declined his request to bring it home for you as it may out our suitcase over the weight limit. You will, thus, need to keep hand mining on your “To Do” list.

    Reply

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