1. Eliesa @Pinterest Addict
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:15 am

    You’re a nut! I am totally going to make my own paint color now. I don’t even have anything to paint…. It will be some kind of blue, in case you were wondering. Hey – Your Elvis has the same white mark as our Elvis. Too many indications that we should be friends in real life :)


  2. Bonkers About Buttons
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:16 am

    ha -I need me some of that ‘holier than thou’ paint!


  3. Rena
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:19 am

    Enjoyed your Q and A! I know what you mean about seeing something you own on TV, I bought a beautiful Arabian Majolica Horse for my glass coffee table, and then I saw a picture in a magazine of a set in the Soap “Young and the Restless”, and there was my horse on a credenza in Catherine Chandlers home! Freak’n Validation!


  4. Becky
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:24 am

    Yay for the bench and the possibility for space/time continuum transport!


  5. Sandi
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:24 am

    All I can say is that I would LOVE to wake up to a post from you EVERY morning. Thanks for the reality and the laughs!! I am enjoying your journey right along beside you. :)


  6. Alex - Old Town Home
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:27 am

    Q: what will you be for Halloween?

    This is obviously the most important Q: you’ve answered, yet I’m left wondering, if you go the Liberace route will you or Paul play Liberace? And the other Scott Thorson? I don’t think you need therapy, just a fabulous outfit.

    I do wish you had bought the home on the river, just like I wish we had purchased that awesome Victorian in Colora, MD, or the one in Culpeper, VA on 50+ acres but without plumbing. Maybe some day.


    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      July 10, 2013 @ 12:59 pm

      Does it really seem likely I’d let anyone other than myself be Liberace? I may have to dress the cat as Scott, since I’m not sure Paul is interested in this (clearly) awesome scenario.


      • Alex - Old Town Home
        July 10, 2013 @ 9:25 pm

        So I’m thinking you’ll put some gold rings on Elvis, maybe some lip gloss, and put him in an over the top limo driver’s outfit with a white fur coat. It’s all in miniature for him, so that’s way more affordable. I just want to see the look on people’s faces when you begin to describe what you’re dressed as. And the look on Paul’s face as he stands off to the side, probably dressed as Scott Bakula or something.


  7. Mellissa Rose
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:29 am

    Why hasn’t anyone told me you can name your own paint?!?! I have custom mixed all my interior house paint. (and by custom mix I mean I had gallons & gallons of oops paint in the basement and I mixed them all in a giant bucket)

    I cannot stay away from collecting $5 oops paint. I think it is a wonderful new hobby.

    Seriously…add a paypal button to your blog. I would totally donate. You entertain me that much!


    • Toots
      July 10, 2013 @ 10:40 pm

      Paul would surely approve of the paypal idea.

      I am now a devoted follower, plus I converted a friend today. Just got a text telling me her husband is on board. It’s a pyramid scheme. Sort of.

      I have a confession…I had to google to find out what it means when someone says,”Word.” I hate being out of the loop.


  8. linda spiker
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:30 am

    That bench!!! Be still my heart!


  9. Whitney
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:32 am

    I just love you; you are hilarious!!



  10. Mellissa Rose
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:34 am

    My sister & I were JUST talking about dressing up. I would go as Anne of Green Gables disguised as a superhero at a ballet. That way I could wear a sailor dress, cape and a tutu.


    • The Diva
      July 12, 2013 @ 5:27 pm

      OMG. That is the Best. Idea. Ever.


  11. Bee
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:35 am

    Nothing like a blog post from the CL Queen just before I dash out the door to meet a CL Kidnapper myself this morning! Nothing as fab as your latest finds for me today, but I will be capturing 2 wooden rockers for the porch that match the one I already have, for only $20 each! Score!!


  12. Julie
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:36 am

    Okay, this is lame, but I HAVE TO HAVE SEMI GLOSS WOODWORK.

    My husband rolls his eyes about this requirement, but there it is.

    I also use the stuff off the shelf…I’m just not precious enough to look at all of the WHITES and make a decision. I did that once, and it was a complete pain, and totally unnecessary. I’m lazy, too.

    Another entertaining post!


    • Apple Hill Cottage
      July 10, 2013 @ 12:45 pm

      I let my husband go to Sherwin Williams last time for paint (alone) and he brought home Steamed Milk Oil base paint for the woodwork in Satin! He Knows all the other woodwork has been painted in semi-gloss. He is a Professional. Aaargh! I think that was as shiny as he could bring himself to buy… Needless to say, next time I am going by myself.


    • Kathryn
      July 10, 2013 @ 12:49 pm

      Reading your blog is like a new chapter in a fun novel


  13. Terry
    July 10, 2013 @ 10:42 am

    I can’t help but comment again…and you don’t have to respond since you are overloaded with comments…You are the cats meow and I can’t wait for another post…almost like crack to an addict!


  14. Laura Ingalls Gunn
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:01 am

    Recent convert to your fabulous blog! I’ve also converted two cousins and a husband. (Better than two husbands and a cousin.)

    I wanted to let you know that my 11 year old son has been wanting to go as Barry Gibb of the Bee Gee’s (Stayin Alive) for the past 2 Halloween’s. (Yes, you can totally tell the environment we are raising him in.) The problem is that he has yet to convince two of his friends to be Maurice and Robin.
    If you do throw over Liberace and decide to be Tony Manero my husband and I will gladly fill the platform shoe wearing roles and totally come to the party.

    I myself am currently sewing a polonaise gown so I can channel my inner Marie Antoinette. Husband still hasn’t agreed to be the guillotine.


  15. Garden, Home and Party
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:14 am

    Can I be your manager when you go on tour?
    The only thing I’ve ever seen on TV that I own is a mandolin (a kitchen slicer) that I bought on Amazon for next to nothing…Alton Brown raved about the very same one that he had used for years. Oh, and a dress that I once bought, then saw Richie Cunningham’s mom wear it on the show and new I had hit a fashion low since I was twenty-something at the time and she portrayed a mom with a teenager!
    P.S. no reply necessary until you catch up, if you catch up with all the correspondence.


  16. PJ
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:27 am

    I stepped through the portal into your blog. I told my husband to be afraid, be very afraid that I was taking notes…

    Philadelphia Craig’s list is so much more interesting than Berkeley’s.


  17. Barbara Castelli
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:31 am

    is it possible to buy something on Craigslist that would help make my house look cleaner/more organized/not cluttered…..
    just thought you would know.

    also you are a RIOT!!!!!!!!!!!11
    xoxo love u


    • Sareena
      March 17, 2014 @ 5:25 pm

      You can’t buy something to help make your house look cleaner/more organized/not cluttered, but you can rent (hire) one.
      It is called a maid, and I want one.
      Or two.



  18. Tara
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:41 am

    I am getting married soon, and instead of buying the dress first… I ordered a custom made petticoat from England and now I am having my dress made from a Vintage Vogue 1957 pattern. I too am waiting for my Time Portal. When I open the right door, closet or find the portal key…. I will come pick you up. We can have black coffee and talk about how difficult it is to pick the right preschool and find good hairdressers.


    • lizaanne
      July 10, 2013 @ 12:02 pm

      Tara!! Please – take me too!!! I think I’ve finally acquired enough vintage handbags and full pleated skirts to make the trip. I’m still working on gloves though – pretty cotton gloves, in multiple colors, in a size 7.5 are hard to find.


    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      July 10, 2013 @ 12:53 pm

      My brain cannot even comprehend the awesomeness of this. WHY DID I DO MY WEDDING SO WRONG?

      Also, why do you not have a blog for me to SEE this creation?


  19. Tammi@1914house
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:45 am

    I love your posts. You write like I think – I think. What made me laugh out loud today was the big bold “not returnable” on the paint can cover. That pretty much sums it up! Haha!


  20. tammigirl
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:51 am

    I found my friend the guts from a 1910 upright piano. My next door neighbor was selling it for $25! After I went outside to see what neighbors I could corral into helping us load it, and she and her daughter left, the neighbor said to his wife “You should have given her that piece!” This piece was standing back by the wall and it was like a frame. My brain did backflips and I told them “I want it!” They told me I could just have it. I told them I was going to put a mirror in it. My neighbor told me he would bring me one. I went inside, propped the mirror up against the front door, and looked around my front room. I decided I needed to figure out why the antique chinese checkers board wasn’t staying the way it used to on the piano. While the cast iron JFK “Ask not what you can do for your country” was crashing to the floor loudly? The neighbor rang the bell with a big mirror! Now I just need to have the mirror cut to fit the piano piece and I have a cool, one-of-a-kind-until-I-do-it-again mirror!

    My husband said “My bookshelves come first, mind you.” About… oh… a year and a half ago? I went to Pittsburgh, spent a day in IKEA gathering Billy Bookshelves, spent the equivalent of 2 full weeks in Lowes and Home Depot, and watched my mother and sons pull trim, assemble bookcases, and put the thing together. Now I still need to caulk and do more painting. I leave everything approximately 85% finished. This way nobody can judge my work. Hey! It’s not finished!


  21. tammigirl
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:52 am

    p.s. I found the piano guts, and a lot of other cool things on a local FACEBOOK page.

    It’s time to spread your wings, little Victoria, beyond the confines of Craigslist. :)


  22. Sue
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:56 am

    So really since Mad Men have your bench you have already been transferred inside of the TV and we are watching you now. As always very entertaining. I saw my dollar store coffee cup on TV one day and got all choked up, exclaimed my excitement to the man, but he was not impressed by my new kitchen dish abilities.


  23. tracey
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:57 am

    Freaking adorable. The bench is surely a sign of the alternate universe situation. You are wise to be prepared.


  24. Amber Wigington
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:57 am

    Please, Please have a giant costume party! I am begging you. As a thespian, and just a person who thinks costumes should be worn whenever one feels the need to dress up, I think this is the best idea ever. But, I live in Indiana. A road trip is not in our budget. A Skype costume party? Hmmm…I’ll work on that.

    P.S. The eggnog color IS perfect, and Unicorns are totally real. My daughters bedroom is proof.


  25. Emily K.
    July 10, 2013 @ 12:03 pm

    Love, love, love you. And I’m also still sad over the Biddle mansion. Because I have *my* bags packed waiting to be admitted to an incredibly old, giant house that contains a portal to both Downton Abbey and Narnia. I would for sure be choosing Downton Abbey.


  26. Calion
    July 10, 2013 @ 12:16 pm

    Have you seen the movie “Somewhere in Time”? If not, you must. Then dress appropriately, lie on your bench, and imagine you’re there. For hours. Paul will love it, trust me.


  27. Sarah
    July 10, 2013 @ 12:17 pm

    Oh, Victoria, I freaking love you. And thanks to a little inspiration, and by inspiration I mean stalking your blog, I have finally convinced my husband to just not ask what it is I want to buy/paint/recover/destroy, and just hand over the cash willingly…it was a major breakthrough. Keep up the good work! I love love love every post!


  28. Eve
    July 10, 2013 @ 12:23 pm

    I would love to come to your costume party, but you must give me plenty of notice as I live in Yorkshire, England. We are totally on the same page when talking about the universe and trading stuff for money. Love your blog x


  29. the gardeners cottage
    July 10, 2013 @ 12:43 pm

    Hello Victoria,

    I really love you and your blog, so much so that I linked to you today.
    Thanks for making me laugh.



  30. Peggy
    July 10, 2013 @ 12:49 pm

    Now is your chance! You really can name a color Holier Than Thou! Enter now! http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/in-living-color-create-your-own-hue-with-farrow-ball-191384


  31. Kathryn
    July 10, 2013 @ 12:54 pm

    PS reading your peeps comments is a treat


    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      July 10, 2013 @ 12:57 pm

      I know! They are quick with the wit. It’s actually sort of annoying… how the commenters are funnier than I am.


  32. CateS
    July 10, 2013 @ 1:29 pm

    Over my life, my only purchasing regrets have been those I’ve talked myself out of doing. And when ever you are on vacation, if you see something you like – buy it – because you won’t see it again [unless we’re talking tourist trap crap]
    Advice for the kitchen remodel… check out craiglist/camping supplies for a something like these: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Camping+Kitchen+Gear&qpvt=Camping+Kitchen+Gear&FORM=IGRE
    My dad make 2 for our family in the 1960’s out of marine grade plywood. Held cooking gear, suppplies, cleaning tubs, etc. Or you could set up with just plastic tubs for washing/rinsing on an ironing board, mine’s been in the garage for 7 years since we moved here.! LOL!!!


  33. Brenda J.
    July 10, 2013 @ 1:32 pm

    I love your writing, and so much want to live next door to you … lol…I bought a bench last week. You have a strong influence on a weak woman…resisting the big mirror…but who knows…


  34. MAgdalena
    July 10, 2013 @ 2:27 pm

    Add me to the list of people who anxiously anticipate your unflinching humor. I came across your blog when you posted a link to your Portal to Narnia post on Apartment Therapy. I then proceeded to devour your blog. I signed up to comment on Manhattan nest blog
    (he just bought an old Victorian), just because i wanted to share your with the world…so… i hope that means you love me EVEN MORE! I read your blog from beginning to end in less than 24 hours. My husband hinted at the possibility of being obsessed with this blog, due to the fact that I had not so much as gotten up from my computer to walk the dogs. I then began to read your post aloud, and said “how could I not be?!?” But secretly thinking I would not label it an obsession so much as a healthy admiration. I should have known i was kidding myself when i subscribed to your blog, the first subscription ever. And maybe i should have figured it out when I got on my hands and knees in my vegetable garden and proceeded to hand pick all the slugs and snails that have invaded my it (even after trying numerous different hands off techniques), because if you do it, i should too. Or maybe it should have dawned on me when decided to start saving up to put in a flower bed outside my office window for the zinnias and lisinathus and whatever other flower you recommend, even though we could move before next growing season. But it was just confirmed when i read this F.A.Q. post. When i read that someone asked if you bought the Biddle mansion i thought to myself, “what kind of question is that?!? Did they not READ this blog?!? and then i read “If you were confused about that, I guess you didn’t read my blog front-to-back and attend to every detail. So you might want to get on that.” And I had the feeling you get when you were the only kid in class who did the homework.


  35. Shelly
    July 10, 2013 @ 3:49 pm

    Oh my goodness, you are so funny! Thanks for making me repeatedly keep cracking up at my desk, while I’m supposed to be quietly working 😉


  36. Olivia
    July 10, 2013 @ 3:52 pm

    Can’t get enough of your wit and humor!! I so relate and my husband is relieved there are others out there like me who can’t stop obsessing about that ‘gotta have’ find! Following you even while camping this week.
    ….you’re my escape in the middle of my escape…
    Wish I could say we were ‘glamping’ ….one day I’ll restore a small airstream and turn it into a vintage glamper camper so we can camp in style and invite you over for gourmet s’mores 😉


  37. Jacquie
    July 10, 2013 @ 5:38 pm

    Oh, Victoria… I do believe we were separated at birth! I, too, suffer repeatedly from non-buyers remorse, agonize over details my husband (and probably very best friends) would think of as trivial, fall in love with things I can’t afford, and adore all things Mad Men. BTW… $300 for the tufted coffee table is such a score (Kingdoms and Portals to Narnia aside)! I have yet to become a Craigslist convert. Unfortunately, most things in Central Florida aren’t that old or interesting. But you make me want to keep looking!


    • Yvonne Angus
      April 24, 2014 @ 5:46 pm

      I thought that about our Northern Florida Craigslist, but when I went on it again, I was amazed at all of the gorgeous pieces! Of course, I couldn’t afford, or didn’t have room for any of them!
      It’s all in how you do your searches. Play around with it a little. Some treasures are hiding where you would least expect them to be!


  38. Patina and Company
    July 10, 2013 @ 6:52 pm

    Holier than Thou Farrow and Ball–perfect. I am dying, however, to see what colour I Love Elvis will actually be!


  39. Mo at Mocadeaux
    July 10, 2013 @ 7:46 pm

    I love your theory of economics regarding your purchases on craigslist. It’s brilliant really. And if I buy something that is discounted $100, that means I have $100 to spend elsewhere, right? So simple.
    Thanks for another hilarious post.


    • Pam
      July 29, 2013 @ 11:20 am

      I’ve been doing that sort of thing for years. A friend of mine coined the phrase ‘double-exit bookkeeping’. I’m now convinced it’s an art form.


  40. Christine
    July 10, 2013 @ 9:30 pm

    Never underestimate “not-buying remorse”. It should be in the new DSM V manual that people are arguing about. To wit: my mom still can tell you about the salt and pepper shakers she did not buy while on a road trip vacation with my dad. Because, “she did not need them.” When they were newlyweds. She is 67 years old now. She wishes she had bought them.


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