Unconventional kitchen– planning the sink wall.
The last month at our house has been like a carnival from 1923.
Full of delight and whimsy and shiny things.
All revealed to be crap, in the light of day.
I love crap.
So much.
It’s my favorite thing.
I have run the idea-carousel day and night.
The bearded lady is surprisingly into brass.
The strongman looks like Howard Keel.
The huckster marches around, harassing the patrons.
COTTON CANDY!
TEST YOUR STRENGTH!
STORE THE GRAINS IN ANTIQUE BRASS COFFEE BEAN DISPENSERS.
OR BUY NEW ONES.
MOUNT THEM TO THE WALL.
ON EACH SIDE OF THE MIRROR.
FITZ.
MARBLE
BRASS
GEISHA
MARCHING BAND
CLARK GABLE
STUDEBAKER
RIBBONS
76 TROMBONES
STRIPED TENTS
DIANA VREELAND’S LIVING ROOM
THE ORIGINAL DIOR ATELIER
Daily, I have submitted to Paul, a flurry of 27,000 pages of incoherent sketches and design ideas for backsplash/mirror/open shelving amalgamations.
Marble, on top of subway tile, on top of train racks, on top of my very FINEST and most IMAGINARY brass brackets… a design and style I have determined conclusively do not exist ANYWHERE.
57,000 hours of my life I’d like to have back.
No matter.
Library ladders.
Why do I not have already, seven in each room?
I have filled the sink wall a thousand times over.
I have rearranged the fountains and hedgerows and marble baptismal fonts.
All of the marble baptismal fonts.
There can be none left for anyone else.
I swapped out the brass coffee bean dispensers for antique glass candy display jars… THE REALLY GIANT ONES.
SO MUCH MORE PRECARIOUS.
Then.
In a shocking plot twist.
Paul inadvertently clarified the murk of glittery shelving and endless fancy storage ideas.
By asking me– if you don’t want a kitchen-looking-kitchen… why add all this visible-kitchen-stuff?
Why indeed?
Oh, wait.
There’s an answer:
Because I am unsure I will have ENOUGH storage.
So.
We need to score some cabinets on craigslist and do a mockup.
One last thing.
Sometimes I see The Nuclear War of Fanciness, out of the corner of my eye… and Self seizes me by the arm WITH COVETEOUS ANXIETY– do you see that?
She has not yet fully absorbed that no further action is required.
I mention this because I would like to share some newfound-wisdom that you might find helpful:
Owning that which you most covet.
This is the best way.
BUILDING DRAWERS INSIDE THE PIANO ISLAND
June 28, 2018 @ 10:17 am
Great post! Sums up the anxieties of rehab!
June 28, 2018 @ 10:18 am
Thank you for such a refreshing, hilarious post. It really is a sanity check for me. I work in a city where I feel utterly alone and it becomes a tether that tells me I’m not the only renovation nutbar on the planet.
June 28, 2018 @ 3:33 pm
“Renovation nutbar”!! Hahahahaha!!!! This is how I will begin referring to myself as well!!
June 28, 2018 @ 10:19 am
THE DISPENSERS ARE UNAVAILABLE!?! BUT I NEEDSES THEM!
June 28, 2018 @ 10:23 am
You capture my heart. Love absolutely everything fancy, too! Are those incredible schoolhouse lights available somewhere?
June 28, 2018 @ 10:32 am
Sorry, darling! You simplify don’t have enough chintz to even talk about Diana Vreeland. (Although it makes me rethink my tiny home and consider putting in a mirror tiled wall.)
Coffee bean dispensers! As the fiancee of a coffee bar manager wo does latte art, registered for a 2k espresso machine and has sacrificed a more stable lifestyle because “corporate coffee is bad”, I love this! I’m stealing this.
There is no such thing as enough storage, though.
June 28, 2018 @ 10:38 am
I had a 1926 stove in my last home and NO WAY did I or would I put a vent over it and I was able to cook a meal just fine.
June 28, 2018 @ 10:38 am
All I can say is, “good luck”, your going to need it!
June 28, 2018 @ 10:41 am
*WHEW* I thought I had it bad having to justify open shelving with theguywhothinksheisthebossofme!
June 28, 2018 @ 10:45 am
I feel compelled to say: I know Howard Keel’s granddaughter.
This suggests to me that anything is possible.
June 28, 2018 @ 10:48 am
Best post ever 😂
June 28, 2018 @ 10:53 am
I’ve been intrigued with your kitchen vision since day one and have patiently awaited each update. Just a question. First….I think your piano Island is brilliant! Question though, how do you plan to protect the surface around the induction top from occasional splatters and spills that could ruin a standard finish one would normally have on a piano?
June 28, 2018 @ 8:05 pm
She’s doing marble on the piano top. Trust me, she’s definitely thought it all through.
June 28, 2018 @ 10:56 am
Maybe I missed this in one of your previous posts, but what are you planning for the floor?
June 28, 2018 @ 11:05 am
I actually have a similar shelf space…except ours is boxed in behind the countertop…picture your counter pushed out another foot. It sits about 4 inches above the counter. Currently we have really deep cabinets below…and extra foot deep. You lose a foot of floor space this way, but I am considering keeping this configuration and sitting some smaller cabinets directly on top of this “shelf” to hide some small appliances. The new “shelf”cabinets would have to recede into the wall behind to gain a little more space. This would replace some of the uppers that I am totally removing. If standard cabinets were placed below and the countertop was level…you could gain countertop space in depth and still do your upper narrow shelf idea too. Enjoying your kitchen process and progress. Tell us more about your methods of surviving without a stove, etc!
June 28, 2018 @ 11:08 am
I LOVE LOVE LOVE EVERYTHING!!! I have an old stone house and I wish I could afford for you to come and redo my house!!!!! So beautiful!!!
June 28, 2018 @ 11:17 am
Lassie,might it be that you obsess,fret and worry a wee tad too too much? You are a genius and genius always creates all things fabooolous! When self becomes bored to cat pizz with all this sturm und drang she will slap this thing into order and beauty before you can rush out for more paint chips and GFThingys.
P.S. the-carousel thing is my idea of a kitchen,instead of a lazy susan you spin yourself around grabbing items as you go, while hearing that tune that plays endlessly in your ear.
June 28, 2018 @ 11:27 am
I know you don’t want more kitcheny boringness to clutter the countertops but 2 words:
Soda Stream
Life changing for those of us who prefer fancy bubbling water.
June 28, 2018 @ 11:56 am
Look for photos of Rudolf Nureyev’s Paris apartment. It’s EVERYTHING!
June 28, 2018 @ 12:31 pm
I don’t understand why you want a modern plain unfancy stove.
I predict that you will end up tearing it out for a beautiful fancy one.
June 28, 2018 @ 12:36 pm
I had a panic attack just reading this…..
June 28, 2018 @ 12:38 pm
Every time I get an email that says you have a new post I immediately say in my head, ” YES!” Thanks for brightening my day. I love the idea of the coffee dispensers or candy jars. They are glorious. You are doing solid work here!😎😍