I am only one yard sale away from an episode of hoarders.
Every fall, our neighborhood has a town-wide yard sale. I wake up that morning feeling like I have been injected with pure meth: excited. I love being able to roll out of bed, walk out the front door, and start yardsale-ing RIGHT AWAY… no traveling, no wasted time, no waiting.
It’s not unusual for me to be one or two houses ahead of Paul because I like to yardsale FAST… I have anxiety that other people are beating me to the good stuff, so I try to go twice as fast as everyone else.
Paul on the other hand, likes to talk to the neighbors and his leisurely, garden-party-mentality makes me insane… This is not a social event. This is war. Someone will win, I would like it to be me.
Some years I get something really fantastic. Like a four-tier barrister bookcase for $30… Is it in pristine condition? No. But it’s totally intact and at 2-feet distance, it looks perfect.
Some years I don’t get anything big or notable but I always come away with a good combination of smaller things: dishes, vintage jewelry… crap I do not need but cannot leave behind… stuff Paul tries to talk me out of but fails.
Last year that category was occupied by these Victrola boxes. When I asked how much, the guy said– one is $5… but you can have the other two for free.
Clearly, a bargain.
Finding broken-useless-stuff makes me kind of manic. So my thought process was– for five dollars, why would we not buy these?
Paul said – so that we have five dollars, instead of a pile of junk?
I was like– umm… nope.
Paul said– well, why don’t you just get one? Then, if you find that you NEED three, you can get more.
And I was like– right, you must be confusing me with your other wife. She sounds great.
Besides, I explained – just getting one doesn’t make any sense. We need to get them all… So that I can store them in the garage along with all of the other things I have bought that I will never refinish or repair or do ANYTHING with… but pretend I will so that you cannot throw them away.
See all my other salvaged junk treasures.
March 25, 2014 @ 3:49 pm
Paul! If she buys one more thing you can’t grok, calllll meeeeee!!!
March 25, 2014 @ 4:27 pm
I love your blog. You make me laugh – and feel that I’m not alone. I went in to a junk shop and decided to buy a cute carved deco display cabinet, which I can just about fit in my house. Delivery was £20. Then he said that was for as much furniture as I could buy, like the van load . So a vintage single oak wardrobe was added. Then 2 Victorian chests of drawers that are thrashed but are restorable, probably, then a vintage double wardrobe that had been badly painted but I can save, then a night stand some one had painted gold. £240 all in – it’s arriving tomorrow evening. I am not a hoarder, I took a freezer to the tip last week so that’s nearly equal really…
March 25, 2014 @ 4:43 pm
Well I believe we were all the of the same DNA, separated at birth, to go out and to recycle, renew, and make sure our darling hubbies don’t get too complacent. And I am hell on wheels when we are at a yard sale because you have to be early and you have to get to the must have object before someone else does. I understand!! Completely! Perhaps we should have a convention but we’d be laughing so hard we’d sprain/strain something.
March 25, 2014 @ 5:37 pm
Marisa, I think your idea is great. However, if there were a yard sale on the way we’d likely kill each other.
March 25, 2014 @ 5:35 pm
You need all three! You wouldn’t find any more if you needed them. Plus, you should always decorate in threes.
Unless there were five boxes. Then you need five of them.
March 25, 2014 @ 5:53 pm
Have you heard of the HWY 127 yard sale that stretches through Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia? Epic.
http://www.127sale.com/
March 26, 2014 @ 9:41 am
You understand this gave me a seizure, right?
I would have panic attacks the entire time that the people 30 miles ahead of me were cleaning up.
March 27, 2014 @ 7:59 am
LOL Now we should all send you links to events like that.
Have you been to this?
http://www.brimfield.com/
March 27, 2014 @ 8:38 am
Oh, Brimfield is the best show. I used to live in Connecticut with an Antique Dealer and we used to set up and sell there. It’s awesome and you’ll love it. If you’ve never been, it’s most definitely worth the trip, at least once. 🙂
March 25, 2014 @ 6:24 pm
I have come to the conclusion it is a disease for which there is no cure! I just turned 55 and still going strong with the same malady. Ugh! 🙂
March 25, 2014 @ 9:00 pm
A little crazy makes the house! My dad gave me a lot of shit because I bought Victorian doors that look BETTER than the ones that had long ago been ripped out of my house, and then designed the whole house around fitting the doors I bought. And strip them since they all apparently came out of abandoned buildings. But the crazy/Craigslist materials totally made the house.
http://chadscrookedhouse.wordpress.com/2014/03/02/strip-act/
But your dining room is very balanced. You got your stuff through craziness and then did things with it that make sense!
March 26, 2014 @ 12:36 am
I just paid $150 to have all the junk I collected last summer hauled to the dump. No really it was junk. Picked up along the side of the road junk. But I have an idea that will help me make my money back. Find large faux pearls and make VEB necklaces. Who wants to place an order?
March 26, 2014 @ 1:26 am
OMG!! we could be hoarder sisters. I tell my friends that I’m a secret hoarder. They laugh and say I hide it so well. I love finding other peoples junk and bringing it home to decipher how best to use it someday. You. And Paul crack me up.
March 26, 2014 @ 5:57 am
Hi I read this post to my husband because this sounds so much like me. We both laughed. Albeit for different reasons. Thanks for the post. Cheers
March 26, 2014 @ 7:59 am
I love your three boxes…I have three bee boxes as I call them. We were stationed in Germany three times during our military lifetime. They had a period during the year where the put out old stuff they didn’t need anymore…bags of clothing…old furinture (antiques) old toys…bee boxes. I don’t want to attempt to spell the What can I say but…I needed to have a bigger car and had to leave so many great things behind…
March 26, 2014 @ 10:21 am
Too funny, we have the exact same yard sale style, usually I am a chatter and love to hear the stories, history behind things… but the fact that someone will get to that perfect thing that I’ve been looking for drives my crazy (even though I have no idea what the perfect thing is, I’ll KNOW when I see it)! I even go as far as looking at every person, to see what they have, is it what I want? No, okay you may pass! Manic is a perfect word to describe this feeling. And not to mention all of the pending projects in my work shop that all need TLC, then they will be just perfect! Never mind I have no clue where they will fit. 😉 as always, a pleasure to read!
March 26, 2014 @ 3:50 pm
In my city, we have what I call “Super Trash Month” during which, on Friday night, if you can haul it to the curb, the city will haul it away on Saturday, unless somebody gets it first. The city is divided into areas, so only one area is picked each Sat. The trolling! The treasures! Good times….. I too, have a garage full of good intentions, but the price was right!
March 26, 2014 @ 9:07 pm
I am proud to say that A) I taught my friend from Sweden how to “dumpster dive” and “curb shop”, especially valuable when a family moves out or does spring cleaning, and B) I have a garage and basement full of “supplies” (though nothing as awesome as 2 victrola boxes) for future projects.
Guess you can’t tell us your neighbor hood’s yardsale info because then there would be competition 🙂
this blog is the best…
March 27, 2014 @ 8:01 am
I really like what you did with the boxes, yet I am still perplexed as to why you do not have a tv show. This is madness and good madness at that. 🙂
March 28, 2014 @ 8:40 am
Wow, I thought I was the ONLY one who yardsaled, flea marketed or antique shopped FAST – zipping ahead of their significant other to make sure I got to the good stuff first. I feel SOOOO much better knowing that someone else has the same compulsion. In my city, we have citywide yard sale days twice a year – April/May and October. Most of the time the treasures run to children’s clothing and furniture, but every once in a while, you strike gold. Great use of the Victrola boxes. I may have to liberate this idea for my own use.
March 29, 2014 @ 11:20 pm
You and I must’ve been separated at birth. I go into full-blow panic attacks if my husband dare pass yard sale without stopping and I spy something I ‘need’. On some weekends, I get up earlier than I do during the work week, just to rummage thought strangers crap and junk. You know, because other peoples junk is SO much better……
March 30, 2014 @ 9:16 pm
You approach yard sales the way I approach buffets – with sheer panic and escalating anxiety if I think I’m about to be beaten to the good stuff! I even have special buffet pants so I’m not hampered in my efforts. Not sure that yard sale pants would be as necessary, but they would be nice…
March 31, 2014 @ 11:57 am
Hello gorgeous lady, your blog is fabulous and inspiring. Your wit and repartee is on always on point. I’d like to let you know that your blog is the “ace up my sleeve” whenever my boyfriend has the effrontery to ask when I find something (I didn’t know I/we can’t live without) on Craigslist: “Do we really need that??” I remind him of your Kingdom. It always ends the argument. I think I love you. Nuff said.
April 1, 2014 @ 7:44 pm
So, I finished reading your blog from the beginning. Thank you, I now know I am OK. Don’t you find it amazing that in your first few posts you had zero comments and now you are up to hundreds! Ahhh, AFFIRMATION!