I am only one yard sale away from an episode of hoarders.
Every fall, our neighborhood has a town-wide yard sale. I wake up that morning feeling like I have been injected with pure meth: excited. I love being able to roll out of bed, walk out the front door, and start yardsale-ing RIGHT AWAY… no traveling, no wasted time, no waiting.
It’s not unusual for me to be one or two houses ahead of Paul because I like to yardsale FAST… I have anxiety that other people are beating me to the good stuff, so I try to go twice as fast as everyone else.
Paul on the other hand, likes to talk to the neighbors and his leisurely, garden-party-mentality makes me insane… This is not a social event. This is war. Someone will win, I would like it to be me.
Some years I get something really fantastic. Like a four-tier barrister bookcase for $30… Is it in pristine condition? No. But it’s totally intact and at 2-feet distance, it looks perfect.
Some years I don’t get anything big or notable but I always come away with a good combination of smaller things: dishes, vintage jewelry… crap I do not need but cannot leave behind… stuff Paul tries to talk me out of but fails.
Last year that category was occupied by these Victrola boxes. When I asked how much, the guy said– one is $5… but you can have the other two for free.
Clearly, a bargain.
Finding broken-useless-stuff makes me kind of manic. So my thought process was– for five dollars, why would we not buy these?
Paul said – so that we have five dollars, instead of a pile of junk?
I was like– umm… nope.
Paul said– well, why don’t you just get one? Then, if you find that you NEED three, you can get more.
And I was like– right, you must be confusing me with your other wife. She sounds great.
Besides, I explained – just getting one doesn’t make any sense. We need to get them all… So that I can store them in the garage along with all of the other things I have bought that I will never refinish or repair or do ANYTHING with… but pretend I will so that you cannot throw them away.
See all my other salvaged junk treasures.
Sunnie Mitchell
March 25, 2014 @ 10:13 am
Well clearly you did something totally fabulous with at least one of those fabulous couldn’t-leave-behind Victorla boxes – what a beautiful plant display! Obviously your DH now understands you were spot-on to have to rescue the lot.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
March 25, 2014 @ 10:18 am
He totally understands!
His exact words – right, *that’s* practical.
Jackie Waldfogel
March 25, 2014 @ 11:06 am
-See? He gets it!
Kimberly ~ SerendipityRefined
March 25, 2014 @ 10:15 am
Clearly, you are a person of foresight, sensibility and creativity. I have found that it’s good to have a garage (also basement, attic and shed) full of things like old Victrola cabinets on hand for when brilliance strikes. If you need to get rid of one, I find that I am now suddenly in the market for one to use as a planter on my dining room table. I’m pretty sure that I saw Paul’s other wife the other day on my way to a tag sale. Isn’t she the one with the perfect manicure and the car with the empty trunk and a garage that she can park in?
Marta
March 25, 2014 @ 10:56 am
There should be a universal symbol to put at the beginning of posts like this that signifies You Are About to Spit Your Coffee All Over Your Keyboard!
Joy
March 26, 2014 @ 11:40 am
I suggest just always assuming that when you read this blog you should not drink or eat while doing so. 😀
Lorrie
March 25, 2014 @ 10:17 am
Good morning! I had to chuckle a tiny bit when I read about Paul’s “other wife” – truly I don’t think this dear husband of yours could keep up with another wife, no matter how great she may be. You are the wife who will keep him young, she would just be boring and mundane in comparison!
Kristen
March 25, 2014 @ 10:17 am
See! You were right that you needed them, they make beautiful planters.
I wish that I could go yard sale shopping with you there, except that we’d want all of the same stuff!
P.S. I still have an intense longing for a necklace-of-invincibility. What size pearls do I require? Where may I even find pearls of that size? Must.Find!
Marta
March 25, 2014 @ 11:00 am
Let me introduce you to the black hole, uh, Imean, wonderful world of easy.com:
https://www.etsy.com/search?q=statement%20necklace%20pearls&ship_to=US
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
March 25, 2014 @ 12:41 pm
I got my pearls (extra-special, acrylic-beads??) At a place that was going out of business. I have tried to find them online (Raccoon+hoarding tendencies+ I think my necklace would be better with three strands…) but have never found any THAT big.
Kristen
March 25, 2014 @ 12:59 pm
I had found some large beads on ebay, but I’m not sure if they’re big enough. Does 30mm (1.25 inch) diameter sound approximately correct? Maybe I should just buy them anyway… I’ll find some way to use them (or so I tell myself now).
I hadn’t seen any appropriately giant sized necklaces on etsy but haven’t searched on there in ages. For awhile, I searched online for Wilma Flintstone necklaces and bafflingly enough, that didn’t even yield good enough results. Ho-hum.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
March 31, 2014 @ 8:57 am
Yes… slightly over an inch sounds about right. I had seen some on a site where you can order in bulk, (we can split 50lbs of giant plastic beads,) I will search again and see if I find anything.
Kristen
April 1, 2014 @ 4:32 pm
Yes; then I can swathe my surroundings with garlands of giant plastic pearls for life!
Andie
March 26, 2014 @ 3:32 pm
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Chunky-Bib-LARGE-Faux-Pearl-Gold-Tone-Chain-Necklace-Fashion-Costume-Jewelry-/181357739066
Big enough?????
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
March 31, 2014 @ 8:58 am
By the time I looked at that it was sold… if someone here bought it, THANK YOU. otherwise I would have. (hoarder that I am)
Lee
March 31, 2014 @ 12:33 pm
So let me ask you this, then. If I were to be able to make some VEB-style faux pearls of wisdom, necklaces of invincibility, would any of you ladies be interested in them? I do sell beaded things in my Etsy store and of course anyone that wanted one from VEB’s blog, I would give a discount code for. Let me know, Ladies, and I will see what I can do if there is enough interest.
Linda
March 25, 2014 @ 10:18 am
I am reading this as I stand in line at the SSA office. The official person just asked if anyone had an appointment. Who knew you could make an appointment ?! Why oh why didn’t I get input or advice or information before I drove out here. I’m freezing and there’s a long line. I will probably have your post memorized by the time I leave here. Lordy. You needed all three of those!
Shari
March 25, 2014 @ 10:18 am
I love how you made the boxes into a planter! I need this on my kitchen counter for herbs! You stole those for $5!!!!!
Dodie
March 25, 2014 @ 10:19 am
How could you NOT buy those Victrola boxes? I MEAN
Linda Montgomery
March 25, 2014 @ 10:20 am
I believe we are twins who must have separated at birth!
I often forward your message to my boyfriend who is oddly similar to your Paul.
He always laughs but I use it as evidence that no, I am not crazy, these are all reasonable things but he refuses to come to the dark side.
My current hoard is linen which is completely OUT OF CONTROL. And you know what? I am A-OK with that.
Blessings on you for blazing the trail for me. Its so refreshing to be amongst the few who truly GET IT!
Happy song playing in my head right now!
Darling Lily
March 25, 2014 @ 10:25 am
I have yet to meet a man who could resist the siren’s song of a beautiful wooden box. Methinks Paul was employing a bit of reverse-psychology on you, before your inner raccoon spied something else to distract you from the glory of these Victrola boxes.
Does he or does he not have something stored in one, even as we speak?
Jenny Loomans
March 25, 2014 @ 1:17 pm
I’m with Lily on this one. As proof, I offer this anecdote: years ago my father built each of his children and his lovely wife a strongbox out of vintage butchers block 1-inch oak (from back when it was actually an inch and not something less), with brass fittings. Seven of them in all. Meticulously dove-tailed and gorgeously finished. One of his first big decorative projects. Now, despite the gorgeous finishing, they are actually rather spartan to look at. My husband pretended they were…okay. But we have two of them, now (we got my mom’s when she passed), and one is in our bedroom holding my jewelry. The other is in our dining room, being decorative. Since acquiring the second, we have also, through various circumstances, come into possession of a wider variety of wooden boxes than I thought possible (given the lack of enthusiasm with which he greeted the first), and they are with one exception things that HE brought home. So I’m with Lily: I bet Paul has something stored in one of those other Victrolas.
Sara
March 25, 2014 @ 10:25 am
I love this and I love you! I also love yard/estate sales and love even more the free crap I find in alleys. I have built up quite a collection of dressers I have no need for. My husband’s goal is to finish off all the unfinished portions of our basement and attic so that I no longer have storage space. Good thing we built a big garage with attic storage! Thank you for your blog, it makes me laugh and shout, “yes, of course!” And reminds me that I am in good company with all my good intentions and aspirations to be crafty and creative.
tammigirl
March 25, 2014 @ 10:28 am
If you tacked them up on a wall you could have a trio of hanging wall boxes! Just think of all the trinkets what-nots you could place inside them and on top of them. Not to mention all the stuff you could hang from them!
Joyce
March 25, 2014 @ 10:40 am
My daughter recently suggested that I should check into 12 step programs for estate sale addicts. Her greatest fear is not my passing, but what will be passed on to her when I pass. But who could pass up the giant hand carved chandelier with the monkey on it? Or the stack of hand embroidered pillowcases or the bronze morning glory bowl? Is it a problem that we are living in a furnished apartment until we close on our newest project otherwise known as a house? Or that we have a couple more boxes of stuff than when we moved in a month ago? Essentials, I swear. Everything I bought was essential. You understand. It is why I love you.
April
March 25, 2014 @ 10:40 am
I laughed out loud–literally–when the title of this post popped into my inbox! I should gladly report that my hubby(and he was an impossible, hopeless case of “new is better than old”)HAS come to the dark side…currently there is a PILE of lumber he got for a steal at the home center, blocking HIS PARKING PLACE in the garage(his stuff, not mine this time! hehehe!). This is not the man I married, but I sure do like him better…. 🙂
Your “planter” looks AMAZING! Great idea!
~april
Sharon
March 25, 2014 @ 10:42 am
I love the part about how you do Yard Sales FAST. Im the same way, in thrift shops also. When I have girlfriends who want to even go and shop with me leisurely Im too busy scanning the aisles, its a quick zip down, I can spot the good stuff and dont need to waste my time you know? Onto the next place!! Yes I would not have been able to pass up those 3 boxes for $5. You need them because A) They are awesome B) They are There C) Because they are $5 D) The ideas for them are endless … I can keep making up more reasons if Paul still needs some convincing. 🙂
Stacie
March 25, 2014 @ 10:45 am
I have four words for you: World’s. Largest. Garage Sale.
October. Upstate New York. Everything you could ever, ever, EVER want. The town of Warrensburg is totally transformed by junk as far as the eye can see! Ohmigosh I’m getting excited. And a super bonus: fall in the Adirondacks is magical!
Vicki Daugherty
March 25, 2014 @ 10:48 am
If you are not the cutest and wittiest blogger alive, I don’t know who is. And sooooo astute!
If you don’t believe opposites attract, you have not been married. My sweet hubby does not see any need for ‘stuff’ and I cannot resist. I wish you were my next door neighbor, but then, one couple might end up divorced! Thanks for making my day with your blog, and thanks for not blogging with only pictures of flowers, dishes, and birds…..spare me! Vicki in Louisville KY
Joyce
March 25, 2014 @ 3:02 pm
I so agree about the pictures of flowers, dishes and birds!!!
Babzy the Elder
March 25, 2014 @ 10:49 am
Absolutely Brilliant!! Fabulous as planters. What a terrific find.
sharply murphy
March 25, 2014 @ 10:50 am
Ok, I can only suggest you start by renting a space at a group shop so you can rotate your stock and make some of your money back and support your insane habit….which is also my insane habit….turned occupation….at least Paul will like it. In your free time of course 😉
Heather Edgecombe
March 25, 2014 @ 10:52 am
While not a yard sale, I’m headed out this evening to purchase ANOTHER set of Limoges china off Craigslist…..to add to my current five sets of china. I mean, I might not have this opportunity again. My husband just shakes his head and goes with it. We have a basement of old furniture that is just waiting for me to refinish or paint. I think I might be on an episode of hoarders, too….
Andie
March 25, 2014 @ 10:57 am
Wait. Just. One. Minute.
Paul goes WITH you? He goes shopping WITH you? WITH? Like, mostly alongside? You?
*rubs eyes*
*scratches head quizzically*
Does not compute.
Handsome Husband does not DO “with”.
In this house, I am a big fan of “aftermath”. Never “with”. Ever.
For example, yesterday’s breakfast went a little something like this:
Handsome Husband: “Sorry I came home late (he works nights) I was on a late call…guy was drunk and high and shot himself in the leg because he was mad at his baby mama”.
He looks up and sees Craigslisted pair of silver candelabras.
“Candlesticks. Are these new? Do we need candlesticks?”
Me: “Yes.”
Handsome Husband, “There was blood everywhere but he was so high he didn’t feel a thing…”
Me “I got them on Craigslist”.
Handsome Husband: “Who shoots their own leg? Who does that?! Is it too early to light the candles? Do we have a lighter? ”
Me: “Maybe we should light a candle for the guy who shot himself…say a prayer”.
Handsome Husband (as I am lighting candles): “Dear God, please don’t let that guy have any more kids”.
And so it goes…
What are your plans for the other boxes, Victoria? Maybe wall shelves? Tiny beds for Elvis’ new baby brother or sister? 🙂 Too cool to pass by…and at a mere $5? Utterly negligible…especially compared to the cost of therapy.
xo
Andie
Jenny Loomans
March 25, 2014 @ 3:23 pm
Andy, that is the best story I’ve heard this week. Thank you.
Kay
March 25, 2014 @ 3:26 pm
Andie, where is your blog?
Lori
March 26, 2014 @ 3:43 pm
Andie, I so get that!
Our house:
Him: Is that new? (pointing at a new silver candelabra or …substitute here any/all decorative, household purchases
Me: No, I bought that a while ago
Him: Oh