WELCOME TO VICTORIA’S MIRROR EMPORIUM! **video**
Here at Victoria’s Mirror Emporium, we say:
How can you call yourself a mirror emporium, if you DON’T HAVE LOTS OF MIRRORS?!
IT’S THE LAW!
Am I am spinning towards a supernova, or am I simply living my best life?
No one knows!
I MIGHT be about to implode in a fiery deathstar of bankruptcy!
I might be amassing a fine collection of low-priced antiques!
Stay tuned for next week’s episode!
Recently, one of you recommended Culture and Comfort: Parlor Making and Middle-Class Identity, 1850-1930 … which is an analysis/critical reading, of Victorian cultural history and how it intersects with home furnishings (yes, absorb that!) And also an explanation of why stuff is tufted, how springs came to be, and why railroad cars were outfitted like palaces!
Essentially, a THEORY OF FANCINESS! And delightfully, this is a VERY SERIOUS BOOK! Because fanciness is hugely important and solemn!
So I feel now that I’ve been vindicated and it’s totally fine to just buy stuff and stack it in your house for no reason other than FANCY!
But since people always want ask: BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH IT? I have a kitchen plan for this mirror; I bought it just days before I left for New Mexico… and then I promptly got distracted by something bigger (literally) and fancier (literally).
So, um, do NOT hold me to my kitchen plan, because it may again be time for SELLING ALL OF THE THINGS I OWN.
First I have to see how much Paul wants to kill me… only then can I correctly math the percent of antique mirrors I am allowed to own.
Just kidding. I am allowed to own all of the mirrors!
This is why you cannot relax your vigilance in training your nearest and dearest to always expect the worst; it’s a slippery slope!
PREDICTABILITY IS YOUR BEST OFFENSE!
If your significant other EXPECTS you to get ALL of the GIANT FANCY THINGS… THEY WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!
I’d gone to look, ON auction day, not preview day; and I was like, dagnabbit… NOW I HAVE TO SIT HERE FOR HOURS.
Yes, I could have left an absentee bid… but the very first rule of auctions is this: if you MUST have it… BID IN PERSON.
I am still haunted by the AMAZING GFT* that I missed out on, when the online bidding froze at $50… I was hitting BID NOW, BID NOW, BID NOW!
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY… BID NOW!!
*GFT = Giant Fancy Thing
When the screen resumed functioning, it showed this: “sold to floor bidder.”
It sold to the person WHO WAS THERE… for $45.
Other than ME.
Won an amazing Renaissance Revival wall alcove for NOTHING.
Because they were there.
— a haiku of sadness.
I basically had a seizure of denial and rage… (otherwise known as a temper tantrum)… I called the auction house in a panic, howling; but shockingly, the auction house DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR SCREENSHOTS.
On the other hand, I’ve had great luck with phone bids, but NOT on the DAY OF… you need to be IN the computer, BEFORE auction day.
Leaving your number on a slip at the front desk WHILE the auction is HAPPENING is like throwing your hopes and dreams directly out the window: a waste of time.
Ok! This post is over!
More mirrors for your consideration:
The Kingdom Mirror… one mirror to rule them all!
MY CURRENT FAVORITE (from that mansion that revealed how sad my life is)
Gilt foyer mirror (I actually like this one way more than the Kingdom, because it has the original gold leaf)
Lady Mirror in kitchen
Giant hall mirror
Typing all of those out… I might need to admit I have a problem.
November 27, 2017 @ 12:07 pm
If Paul ever finds himself out of a job, he can hire out as a reliable antiques mover. You have video proof of how good he is at it!
November 27, 2017 @ 12:08 pm
This is my new favorite ever of your posts. Training the significant other to absorb shock after shock of irrational spending is so important.
My third husband does not object to any of my bizarre purchases, even when I blew past the Decorative Armillary Sphere Event Horizon (10? 15? Who knows?). On the other hand, he is my THIRD husband.
November 29, 2017 @ 4:47 pm
My mom says 3rd time is the charm. I hit the jackpot with #1, but I did wait until my 40s to get married.
November 27, 2017 @ 12:08 pm
You do NOT have a problem. (repeat as needed) A problem is 4 electric drip coffee makers (not including presses or other types), 5 food processors – mundane items. GFTs are not a problem. The only way your mirrors will become a problem is if there are so many in such locations as to turn the home into a carnival fun house. You will not tolerate such.
Lora Hart RIC
November 27, 2017 @ 12:12 pm
Paul is the bestest sport of all the good sports in the universe. He’s the REAL GFT. Lucky you for the gift of Paul.
November 27, 2017 @ 12:18 pm
Poor Paul. I am suddenly feeling sorry for him. I hope you are very good to him.
November 27, 2017 @ 12:21 pm
You know what I like? I like watching your wedding video …”Twist Time is Here.” So much fun…you and your groom are superb dancers…love watching you twirl. Now you twirl amongst all your mirrors. You have to look superb when you pass them (mirrors) by daily…which I am sure, you probably DO!
November 27, 2017 @ 12:49 pm
Two thoughts… I sure wish I had been at that auction. Wow did they have really neat stuff(RNS my tribe). Second. cover that mirror with something. It is too GIANT and FANCY to get pooped on by a bird
November 27, 2017 @ 1:15 pm
I like your ‘lady mirror’ the best.
She looks like you.
November 27, 2017 @ 3:30 pm
No you can’t have too many BFM’s big fancy mirrors. I took pictures of all mine, 12 that I have in my house. I have no idea of how many are in the garage, I don’t think those count, do they?
I wanted to post them but you comments won’t let. Besides I don’ t want you to get mirror envy and stalk me to grab mine. Last I checked there was no shortage of BFM’s in the world but between you and me that may be changing! I used to live in a house with BTC’s that is big tall ceilings, but now I am sadly reduced to 9 tiny feet to cram all my BFM’s and other things BFT’s into. I am sure life will go on but it is a cause for a modicum of sadness.😨
November 27, 2017 @ 3:41 pm
I never saw dagnabbit spelled out. This is a first, and hopefully not a last. After this, I began seeing visions of rabbits doing the dab, and wondered if you had any reflections of this in your mirrors.
November 27, 2017 @ 3:53 pm
I don’t feel so bad now. I have a ‘thing’ for antique trunks. I SWORE I wouldn’t get any more after my last, large camel back, Ha! I just picked up a ladies trunk last week covered all in tin. Now I have eight.
Craigslist is da Debbil.
November 27, 2017 @ 4:39 pm
I love this-I had only one mirror(other than obscene bathroom mirrors) no charm whatsoever and often splattered with toothpaste- anyhoo I now have goldish smallish mirrors all the hell over the damn place and the only thing hellishly wrong with that is they reflect all of the dog hair and dust bunnies. Nobody sells huge GFT on my Craigslist and the auctions are dominated by Mr. Deep Pockets and Mrs Ibid Onitall. So watching you tilting at the windmills of desire and acquire is a hoot to say the least. Someday little children on school trips will arrive at your door anxious to see The famous “House of Mirrors” and you will swirl out in something blue and diaphanous and Paul will be dragging yet another fabulous find up the staircase. Wish I could be there to see it. Maybe I’ll come back as a little kid or a yellow school bus orrrrrrrrrrrr a Tuxedo Cat!
November 27, 2017 @ 5:05 pm
I have so much to learn from you in regards to teaching my husband about the awesomeness of GFTs (or at least the futility of fighting the acquisition of them). Thank you for being an excellent teacher. xAllie http://www.theallthatglittersblog.com
Mary Kathline Idriss
November 27, 2017 @ 5:44 pm
Hello, first time commenting but a long time follower since you were remodeling your kitchen from the beginning. You are so much fun. Your content is great and everytime I see your blog name in my email, you let me live another life. I saw in one of your other videos about your mirror escapades the paint color of the room upstairs. Could you tell me the color because that is exactly the color I am trying to pin down in my local paint store. The paint guy has no idea what I am talking about. The room was the video of putting the mirror through the upstairs window. Please, pretty please.
Mary from Georgia.
November 27, 2017 @ 6:33 pm
Thanks. Having a really long day and needed the chuckle.
November 27, 2017 @ 8:31 pm
Love this!! I have to tell you, you made me think of this 1896 film—except with mirrors and large fancy objects.
November 27, 2017 @ 11:11 pm
I found your blog yesterday and *LOVE* your humor.. and Paul.. and your house that is big enough to support your acquisitions. I live in a 100 year old farmhouse in Oregon in the countryside of the Columbia River Gorge.. and I have too many antique cabinets. I need a bigger house. I immediately added your blog to my blog list.. so nice to meet you! ((hugs)), Teresa 🙂
November 28, 2017 @ 6:42 am
Off topic: You mentioned in passing a book, The Big House, and shared just enough to pique my interest. Bought it. Love it. Thank you!!
November 28, 2017 @ 6:55 am
” a haiku of sadness” I am howling into my coffee. This blog is the best therapy for the decorationally challenged ever.
November 28, 2017 @ 10:02 am
Best thing I ever did 2+ yrs ago was to buy a very small home.
2nd best thing was to go thru everything I owned with a fine
tooth comb. Sold and donated anything I did not absolutely
want or need.
Now my small home looks clean and spacious. It is so much
easier to shop when I know what I need and what I do not.
If I had a large home and such a helpful husband, I would
definitely do as you, Victoria.