Wait… WHERE is the sofa?
Paul was out Saturday morning… but when he got home, it didn’t take him very long to say— wait… where is the sofa?
And I was like— I sold it! I told you: I AM SELLING EVERYTHING.
He said— yes… but… where will people sit?
And I said— on the floor! LOOK HOW SPACIOUS IT IS NOW THAT THERE IS NO SOFA!
Once upon a time, I bought the English Roll Arm sofa from Restoration Hardware… it was white, because I had temporarily taken leave of my senses and forgotten that I am someone who should never own a white sofa.
I bought it shortly after the living room and dining room were finished— rooms that had been so unlivable for so long, that the transformation was almost unbelievable.
And somehow, buying a brand-new, pristine sofa seemed to hold some deeper life-meaning… like maybe NOW I would start being the new/relaxed/better version of myself I’ve been meaning to get around to.
And apparently that version has a summer cottage on Nantucket… I would guess that she also has a lot of nautical-themed home-accents, wears trendy statement-jewelry to the beach, and does not care if her passel of dogs and children destroy everything… because she can afford to buy more.
This is the ultimate problem with trying to be someone else – YOU ARE STILL YOU.
It can be very inconvenient.
In reality, I am a very stern and unbending person who also enjoys ridiculously over-the-top ornamental objects but can only afford the broken-sort-of-crappy-ones.
My furniture should reflect this.
But at the time I was OBSESSED with this particular sofa… it’s a beautiful piece of furniture, it’s just that it’s NOT ME AT ALL!
And I should add that this was before the wardrobe and The Kingdom Mirror, so there was plenty of space for me being brainwashed by too many inspiration-photos-of-Nantucket-imaginary-lady-lifestyle.
Shortly after the living room was finished, I drove by a Restoration Hardware outlet… and as I walked in, they were bringing out the EXACT sofa I wanted!
In the moment, it was an easy choice.
It was still wrapped in the delivery plastic, because whoever ordered it failed to measure their space correctly. And it was ONLY $1,000. (Please use the word “only” in the loosest sense possible.)
“Only” seemed to apply because with tax and delivery, this sofa will run you close to $4,000 brand new… I have no idea who spends that on a sofa (—> says the woman eager to spend way more on something far less practical).
And can I just add that with the exception of Ikea, the price range for a large sofa is shockingly high, considering it’s basically some two-by-fours and foam.
But over time, I started to question spending so much money on something completely uninteresting and utterly non-GFT* (*Giant Fancy Thing)… especially as you can see, that there is NOTHING about this room now, that wants a sofa from Restoration Hardware.
Paul tried to make me feel better by pointing out that we DO genuinely need a place to sit… and that theoretically that seating should be comfortable… and that ALSO theoretically, that seating should not collapse under our guests… you know, just as a matter of courtesy.
But it didn’t matter… for me, once I am disillusioned with something, there is no re-illusioning.
I ended up seeing the sofa as a representation of my own failure to think rationally and critically… and it is not lost on me that I am applying those feelings to possibly the only purchase in this house that MOST people would feel was reasonable.
There was another element too: I began to see the purchase as uncomfortable evidence of my susceptibility to advertising… I was grouchy that I unwittingly participated in aspirational-internet-brainwashing.
Dedicating space in my house to a SOFA that could otherwise be used for SOMETHING FANCY = not what I am about.
Then, in what I presume was a move to rub salt in my wound, RH sent me a catalog equivalent to the weight of a small child… any company that sends out 20 pounds of paper for you to throw in your recycling bin are pretentious asses, no matter how good their visual design team is.
Also, yes FINE. There is the tiny detail of how I knew I could sell it for significantly more than I paid and how I need money for the mystery GFT.
And now I am going to be really serious for a few paragraphs and try to rectify what I see as a horrible moral failing on my part.
I have real anxiety about telling you this, because I think you are entitled to judge me as unbelievably ignorant: after I got the sofa home, I realized that the cushions were wrapped with a down layer around the foam.
I cannot overstate my horror.
Down (and any fur product!) are atrocious torture for the animals… and somehow I managed to support this barbaric practice.
If you’re unfamiliar with this heartbreaking industry, I hope you’ll take a minute to educate yourself… here is a very brief overview… there is also a short, two-minute video that I hope you’ll consider watching. Is it easy to watch? No. It is horrible… But if we allow ourselves to turn away because our feelings are inconvenient, this unspeakable life of misery for these animals will continue.
So! Sofa! Let’s recap:
1. not a GFT.
2. made out of morally-abhorrent material.
Girl, no. Bye.
I’ve rearranged the furniture, and because I am so prepared a hoarder, I have enough chairs in this house to seat a small army. Maybe even a medium-sized one. So I am not necessarily in a hurry to replace it.
Although– SURPRISE! There is a sofa on Craigslist that I’ve been watching.
I actually went to look at it and I did really like it, but I could not come to an agreement on price with the seller because she does not realize that I am the ONLY person who will buy the thing from her because:
A– it is horribly uncomfortable, and
B– everyone I’ve showed a photo of it to has said something to the extent of: that is really hideous… by which I assume they mean glorious awesomeness that they will be jealous of.
If I could have gotten it for a REALLY good price, I would have bought it; but right now my priorities are not seating… I have one goal: put all money towards Arkansas fund.
I also looked at this sofa because it is fairly inexpensive at $500, and matches the ottoman, but then I was like, ummm hello? Is that a GFT? No. It is not. SO I DO NOT NEED TO BUY IT.
see all my favorite Craigslist finds
February 23, 2016 @ 4:50 pm
Oh … This was wonderful and I love your replies…. icing on a chocolate cake! I can only sympathize with Paul because I have a small suspicion that Miss Elvis’s treatment may have slowed kitchen progress for some time. And we know Mr. Paul abhors delays! But I know he loves her so I’m sure he’s fine with the wonderfulness of keeping Kitty well and adorable. I loved the white sofa with the Christmas pillows and the hilarious Hi-Jinks of delegating ribbon cutting to Perfection Paul. Couldn’t believe his failure to measure up. I looked at that sofa link and the price is high and the comfort level looks kinda low. Can’t wait for all of the reveals but really the suspense is as much fun as the reveals. Happy Happiness to Victoria & Co.
February 23, 2016 @ 5:13 pm
I just read your latest to my husband while he was driving. He has a low tolerance for being read to but always listens and laughs when I read him your blog. And he loves Elvis.
Was glad to read that you’re addressing the huge ottoman problem. I wish you knew my friends in Lewisburg PA. They restored and furnished their Victorian house in perfect period detail, and it’s gorgeous.
February 23, 2016 @ 5:22 pm
*perk*
Arkansas fund? Did I miss something or is this a clue tossed deliberately to the wind?
February 23, 2016 @ 5:41 pm
Your post brought back memories of a family story regarding a 30 year old woman (me) with two toddlers who thought she would also live a Nantucket lifestyle if she purchased a gorgeous white sofa back in 1990. We lived in Vancouver, close to the ocean, just like Nantucket. So what if I lived in a small townhouse with space for only one sofa, my children owned purple Gack and my husband was a plumber who came home every day with dirty coveralls and hands ? Buy the sofa and the lifestyle will follow. This is the promise of advertisers and sadly, I still fall for it every once in a while. But! no more white sofas. PS. Did you ever notice how every decorating magazine sports at least one white sofa between it’s glossy pages?
February 23, 2016 @ 6:53 pm
Hello Victoria…This is Rosann from Cape May, NJ with the huge Victorian house that has been slowly sucking us dry for years. Well first of all I love this post about your white sofa for what it says about you realizing what you want and how you came to feel about this prior purchase. I applaud you for that! That is really such a wonderful feeling when you sort this stuff out. Also, I love the ottoman because it is large and luscious and really great for a bunch of people to sit on.
On a more serious note, I knew nothing about the process of getting down from animals being so horrible. I can’t even bring myself to watch the video’s you advise, I will take your word for it. I honestly have no idea what the heck I was thinking about the way in which this product was produced or retrieved.
On closing, our house redo/gut/drain us of every cent we have is moving along with much greater speed now and we hope to have an open house in early spring. Dry wall done, floors almost all refinished and I order a new kitchen that ISN’T ALL WHITE like every kitchen that I ever pinned on Pinterest. (another of your most intelligent post…about the myth of the all white kitchen).
Sincerely, one of your biggest fan’s….Rosann
PS Dear word I forgot to ask, the sofa’s on amazon that you were considering…they are great looking and very inexpensive. How is the quality? I have a very expensive sofa I bought that will cost just as much to reupholster and looking at this sofa every day makes me feel the exact same way as you about the white one that just left your house.
February 23, 2016 @ 7:17 pm
I have a friend who calls everything I love “ugly”, like you I know it is perfect when she says that!
February 23, 2016 @ 8:20 pm
Thank you for pointing out the cruelties of the down industry and for being a champion for animals. Can you share sources for stylish, fairly comfortable vegan shoes that do not require mortgaging a house to finance?
A fellow vegan.
February 24, 2016 @ 9:15 am
I bought a pair of Jeep-brand (weird, right?) slipons that I really love… they are my favorite shoes right now and SUPER comfortable (although, who knows if you have the same feet-comfort-style as me) http://amzn.to/1QePL5Y
Depending on color, you can get them super cheap. I think they look “nicer” than sneakers… plus, I am lazy and hate to tie my shoes.
Chinese Laundry brand also makes a ton of synthetic options for dressier stuff… http://amzn.to/1T6HP9t (I bought these a while ago, but MOST of their styles are totally manmade and they have a lot of variety.) if you look around online, you can usually get them for like $20!
I am thinking about going down this road a little further on the blog, so I really appreciate your comment. xoxo
February 23, 2016 @ 9:04 pm
I have purchased a LOT of Restoration Hardware furniture over the last 3 years because I love the quality and the look, all that recycled 100-year old wood does it for me, the French Country feel of it….and the timelessness of it all. My guests ooh & ah over the 100_year old trestle dining table and white Louis IV chairs. However, when I went to purchase sofas..I went to Pottery Barn..because I love that you can MACHINE WASH the slip covers, white linen fabric….so I’m loving my twin white sofas in my living room…3 YEARS later, they still look great, have not had to wash them yet… and I have twin 10-year old grandsons who love to throw themselves on the sofas with their sneakers on…lol Isn’t this all a matter of personal preference in the long run…(?!)
February 23, 2016 @ 10:20 pm
Well, that was one couch that was far from cruelty free and it’s GREAT that you found that unacceptable ! You are even more fabulous than I thought you were. So, selling the mean-to – geese, non-GFT couch …. in order to put money towards a new, fabulous GFT from Arkansas …. is a perfectly perfect idea ! Good for you !
February 24, 2016 @ 3:58 pm
Well, some of you gals ( I include you, Victoria, as well!) are just plain transparent and outright PHONY in you your abhorrence and disdain with regards to the treatment of the geese! Would you not, not EVEN for the pursuit of the APPARENT most FABULOUS GFT……..EVER…….. Of all time!!!!!! ……R E F U S E to make a profit off the backs of the geese used to make (and you now SELL for money) your RH sofa if you were truly concerned, SINCERE and DEVOTED to their cause and protection???!!!!!! I think you would! How could you not???? Wouldn’t the morally correct (for that is your position…..the morally wrong treatment of geese and subsequent wrong doing of those who buy and use down products) course of action to have taken have been to donate the couch to charity, perhaps a women’s shelter??? I don’t accept your contrition as sincere for this reason. Nor the rest of you who talk so freely about your tears and sadness YET cheer on this sale for the pursuit of future furniture purchases!!!! It’s so sad to see those of you who fawn and yearn and lament over Victoria and her husband and her CL prowess and luck etc! But, please, BE HONEST with yourselves and the rest of us on this issue!
February 25, 2016 @ 12:11 pm
I appreciate your thoughts… I don’t disagree.
I posted this with an awareness of my own inconsistencies, in the hope that I could make a difference in the world, despite my own flaws.
February 23, 2016 @ 10:54 pm
Let’s start a GFT fund!
My love to Elvis.
February 24, 2016 @ 12:34 am
Dear darling Elizabeth…
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=chesterfield+sofa&safe=active&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiR8sPg1Y_LAhXFGpQKHTx4C5AQ_AUIBygB&biw=1440&bih=789#safe=active&tbm=isch&q=old+chesterfield+sofa&imgrc=_
Surely, nothing less than a chesterfield sofa for you? If you dont mind leather? I hope it is not cruel to buy leather sofas. Oh, that video on the down made me cry. I absolutely had no idea! How abhorrent 🙁
February 24, 2016 @ 9:11 am
Leather being a byproduct of the meat industry, it’s okay if you eat meat. I’m not very consistent–I buy all my meat from a CSA where the animals are grass fed and are killed without experiencing fear, and feel very strongly that it’s how you treat animals when they’re alive that is most important. Yet I buy leather, which obviously comes from animals that have not necessarily experienced a happy life and painless death. Cannot stand the substitutes for leather and hate synthetics. It’s all very difficult.
February 25, 2016 @ 12:25 pm
It’s true that some leather is a byproduct of the meat industry, but China is the world’s largest leather producer, (%50 of leather sold in USA is from China) so it’s unlikely that you’ll ever wear or sit on skin from an animal you consumed or that was killed “humanely.”
China has no animal welfare regulations and even if you are fine wearing cow, you might be wearing dog leather which seems to be less acceptable to americans.
http://time.com/3731263/joaquin-phoenix-dog-leather-china-peta-video-animal-rights/
http://www.bloomberg.com/bw/articles/2014-04-02/the-leather-on-those-golf-gloves-might-come-from-a-stolen-pet-in-thailand
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jun/18/chinese-city-yulin-dog-meat-festival
February 25, 2016 @ 1:28 pm
Even if it’s from China it’s a byproduct of their meat industry. (They eat dog, don’t they?) In any case, my inconsistency was my point.
February 27, 2016 @ 4:48 pm
if we are going to be consistent about cruelty to animals in this World we must face the grim fact that 99% of products from soup to sandals-furniture to the 1000 ft of hardwood floors I had installed a couple of years ago and was astonished to find that the boxes said -made in China-. The slavery and enforced labor that now labors for much pain and little reward to send us product across Sea and land with no small amount of air and water pollution that could be avoided if same products were manufactured in America by Americans. But the bottom line is slaves produce a greater bottom line profit and nobody complains or protests until it’s their job outsourced and then it’s always too too sadly late. My Husband worked for 51 years as a Chemical Engineer in Environmental Protection dept. No protection needed in slave labor countries,they care for their air and water just about as much as they care for their “workers”. In a country of a billion plus human life is cheap. Is it possible to create change? Only when We The People demand it. IMHO
February 24, 2016 @ 4:39 am
Maybe you need the opposite of a white sofa – http://www.squintlimited.com/colourways/
February 24, 2016 @ 9:37 am
Girl I must have that orange settee!!!! If you ever sell, please let me know! It will make my drive from Chicago to Milwaukee for my current settee look reasonable! ?
I LOVE your posts! Thank you for making my day!!!!
February 24, 2016 @ 2:49 pm
Where in Arkansas?
February 25, 2016 @ 12:23 am
Yes to the white couch! I purchased one from Ikea (its the only thing that would come in pieces and fit up our stairs to our 3rd floor condo). It has washable slipcovers. And yet I have it draped with a green bath towel covering doggie pee pads because my 20 year old cat/princess Starbuck likes to sleep there and unfortunately sometimes pees in her sleep. It shows dust! And looks ugly with the towel. And yet I really wanted a white couch. I sometimes take the towel off and move the cat and sit on the other side of the room and admire my white couch. Sigh. Beauty is hard.
February 25, 2016 @ 12:17 pm
Thanks! Now I “need” a chesterfield sofa.
February 25, 2016 @ 12:39 pm
I’ve been wanting to sell my sofas for a while no and I have been wanting slipcovered sofas for quite some time but since I’ve only had my current ones for a few years, I’m thinking my man may leave me or worse yet, commit me. But what I really wanted to tell you is that my previous sofa was a Victorian like the one you have pictured. I had it reupholstered in pillow ticking fabric and I adored it. Now I’m wondering why in the heck I got rid of it. Compulsiveness is not my friend. Oh yeah and comfort….silly comfort. There is no comfortable Victorian furniture, no matter what you do to it (except maybe fill with down) so you don’t have to worry about someone falling asleep on the V sofa, not gonna happen, sitting only.
February 28, 2016 @ 5:57 pm
You make me feel “normal”! Love your blog.
March 1, 2016 @ 1:44 am
Seriously, get the couch on Amazon. It’s wonderful. If the couch is neutral it will blend into the wall and become a backdrop for GFTs.
March 4, 2016 @ 2:02 am
errr…I watch Hoarders so I WON’T be one! (“Collecting” runs in my family). It’s pretty scary, and if it were for my garage…well, you know.