Eight years after the fact… I finally get to write a wedding blog.
When I was little, we didn’t have a TV. But sometimes, at my grandparents on Saturday nights, I was allowed to watch PBS. Which is where I saw The King and I and Kiss Me Kate. Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Cole Porter…
And I fully expected that when I grew up, Howard Keel would come for me.
If you’ve seen The King and I, you remember Deborah Kerr wearing a lavender hoopskirt the size of a swimming pool. And Yul Brynner wearing elaborate red pajamas and ankle bangles. And you remember the scene where they dance around a very fancy ballroom.
To my small self, it was the defining standard of romance.
More than that—the epitome of all existence.
And I understood. THAT was my destiny.
I understood it in the profound way other people understand life after death. Or the existence of aliens… Deeply, and without need of actual proof.
It’s good I understood all this so well, since when I met Paul he wasn’t wearing red pajamas. Or ankle bangles. Or even a fedora or a dressing gown.
I met Paul in Philadelphia, at a nightclub that’s now defunct. The Five Spot had Salsa dancing on Tuesday nights. It was swelteringly hot and they had a live band and an impossibly small dance floor. And every single person in a three-state radius would turn out.
I noticed Paul immediately. He was tall and handsome. And I saw him voluntarily dance with a beginner. Which is rare.
So when Paul asked me to dance, I pointed him to my best friend. Not because I wasn’t interested, but because she was visiting from five states away and she only knew the three steps I’d taught her before dragging her out the door. I knew he’d make it fun for her.
Later, on the way home, I said to Lara that I had found Paul thrilling and I’d thought there was something. And I was disappointed and surprised he hadn’t made sure he could find me again.
Years later, when I told Paul this, he looked at me sideways and said—I asked you to dance. AND YOU SAID NO. Do you not understand? This NECESSITATES AN ADJUSTMENT OF PLANS?
And I was like, seriously? What? I did not say no. I paid you the ultimate compliment of deeming you kind enough for my best friend. AND? I DID dance with you LATER. And? Didn’t you see the sign? Flashing on my forehead? In neon? That said—I like you. I think you might be the King of Siam.
A year went by after The Five Spot. And I saw him at another dance thing. I recognized him immediately. And since I am paralyzingly shy, I hid and hoped he wouldn’t notice me. I can’t say this did anything to encourage him.
He asked me to dance. This time there was a giant floor. And I felt just like Deborah Kerr. Like Kathryn Grayson. And that I’d found a portal to Kiss Me Kate. And that Howard Keel and Yul Brynner had finally come for me.
I had been waiting my whole life for this.
None of which explains why— when Paul called me a few days later… I did not call him back. And when he called again. I still didn’t call him back. Even to myself, it made no sense.
Except? Would YOU call Yul Brynner? I think not.
Now, Paul likes to remind me that even back then… before we even knew each other—he had to do all the hard work. And if left to my own devices, we would have never gotten together. And I will point out that he could have called me again. And he will say, no. No I could not. Twice says I like you. Three times says I’m stalking you.
More time went by. And I saw him at another dance thing. I was bent over, changing my shoes, and the girl I was with nudged me and said quietly—here comes that guy you never called back.
I was like—SHHHHHIIIIIITTTTT. And felt simultaneously the stomach-drop of when someone you like is going to talk to you. AND the sharp anxiety of when someone is about to yell at you.
But he didn’t. Yell at me. He didn’t say WHY did you give me your number if you didn’t want me to call you? He didn’t say WHY did you look at me like you might swoon, and bat your eyelashes… if you weren’t going to call me back? He didn’t say WHAT is WRONG with you.
He held out his hand and said—Hi. Waltz?
Eight years ago, today… we got married.
9 year wedding anniversary post
Venue details below…
We had our reception in the Gold Ballroom at the Hotel du Pont , Wilmington DE.
Built in the era between the Gilded Age and the Jazz Age, the du Pont broke ground in 1911. The twelve-story Italian Renaissance hotel was commissioned by Pierre S. du Pont. A labor of love by French and Italian craftsmen who carved, gilded, and painted the exceptional details by hand.
Hotel du Pont was built to rival the finest hotels of New York City and European capitals. Expansion in 1918 added the Gold Ballroom to the Hotel du Pont.
This glorious French Neoclassic Gold Ballroom, with its gilded rosettes, glittering chandeliers and hand carved and gilded bas-reliefs of famous women including Helen of Troy and Cleopatra, could not be more festive or extravagant. It’s a perfect setting for weddings, banquets, balls and other occasions of celebration.
– Source
September 7, 2012 @ 10:31 am
Your writing is a treat! I enjoyed your story and will be back soon for more!
Cheers,
Keri
September 8, 2012 @ 9:04 am
Thank you! You made my day…
June 12, 2013 @ 9:30 am
And one day, some nothing-special kind of boring day when you are resting upon your pillowtop after dusting all the disco balls in the house (whew! what a job!) Paul will walk in your room wearing red pajamas and ankle bangles. I think he’s just practicing his accent.
June 15, 2013 @ 12:19 pm
I wish I could “favorite” comments… this is going in the top-ten, I laughed so hard.
June 17, 2013 @ 6:15 pm
Another amazing post?!!! Told ya I love your blog! What I adore most about this post (besides the photos) is the irony of it … blissful dance images surrounded by your description of how your (in)actions unintentionally said “no” to him/Yul Brynner (while your heart screamed “Y.E.S.S.S.S.!” Yet, he still took the lead in his pursuit of you. Just precious & what a dance! Thanks for sharing your love with us!
So often there are stories labeling men clueless about women frequently missing obvious signs that a woman is interested. It’s refreshing to read that your hubby “gets you” as another commenter mentioned. I would love to know what was going through his mind during that “no” time before your first waltz … what drove him forward (other than your beauty)?
June 29, 2013 @ 11:30 pm
I don’t know when I have laughed so hard! You have an incredible gift at writing, renovating, and, of course, all things Craigslist!
July 1, 2013 @ 5:16 am
Victoria,
You and I just thought that the “Wedding” and “Reception” were so easy to duplicate in every day life…I still work to get hubby to dance with me….I remember dancing in the house when it was just framed in and no electricity…just a spotlight hooked to the generator….I think my crazy ideas have worn him out….sleeping is more relaxing than dancing now after 32 years!!! But he still, laughs and smiles and gives me that “You have lost your mind again, woman…” look. But still gets into the pick up and drives me to where that old door is….”It will only take a few minutes to pick that up!” I say!
With both your good attitudes and ability to laugh at yourselves, and each other, you home will feel as grand as the Hotel you were married at! All the work you have done is so beautiful, thus far!
Hugs,
Betsy
July 5, 2013 @ 4:27 pm
DeLovely. All of it. You are an adorable Force of Nature to be reckoned with!
lovelovelove,
Deborah
July 6, 2013 @ 11:24 am
I love you Victoria Elizabeth, and Paul, for making me laugh. I need to. My love and I have hit a challenging time of life. I must keep laughing though, enjoying him. I attended a class on friendship once. I remember this line….once in a while you meet someone from your “tribe”. I have met one on this blog.
July 12, 2013 @ 5:37 pm
I stumbled across your blog and you guys are seriously awesome. Totally got yourself a new fan 🙂
July 13, 2013 @ 3:40 pm
Those pictures are straight out of a magazine. LOVELY!! And beautiful story!!
July 17, 2013 @ 8:59 pm
Your pictures are great! but you are too skinny girl eat some more!
August 13, 2013 @ 10:31 am
B E A U T I F U L …. awwwwww… took my breath away
August 13, 2013 @ 10:56 am
I’m swooning – Paul IS the perfect guy – absolutely…. and now get your shit out of his garage 🙂 🙂 🙂
Love, love, love you!
may I offer you an earlier upload for your wedding anniversary?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vol-au-vent/308111540/
September 1, 2013 @ 5:59 pm
After reading a couple of your other posts i ran across this one and it confirmed that not only do i enjoy your sense of humor, but we love similiar things…..Deborah Kerr, Yul Brenner and dancing. Okay most importantly, I grew up going to the Hotel DuPont for Sunday and Holiday Brunch…the best ice sculptures EVER.
Shortly after finishing renovating our lovely old farmhouse, my Dad sent my Mother off to Europe for three weeks (note to My husband….I’ve renovated two and built two more houses, is Scotland in my future?). Anyway, she returned to five well behaved children and a note from her OB-GYN saying ” congratulations” ! Topping her return off, and on the first day of summer vacation our home burned to the ground. SOOOOO, we got to spend the summer at the Holiday Inn, (no Bing Crosby didn’t join us), but we supped in the “quick dinner” cafeteria of the Hotel DuPont every night that summer ( of 1968). I have wonderful memories of peeking into the Ballroom and watching the Summer Brides. Obviously, I’ve been gone from wilmington a long time but nothing matches the DuPont!
September 13, 2013 @ 8:18 pm
How beautiful. And now I completely understand where your obsession with huge, glorious mirrors comes from. 🙂
Marmalade
October 22, 2013 @ 12:53 pm
your post brought tears to my eyes. precious, romantic, perfect. sending it to my hopeless romantic, Fred Astaire loving (and everything that implies) daughter.
March 11, 2014 @ 3:10 pm
Hey! MY name is Lara. Maybe we’re supposed to be besties. I think so, probably.
August 13, 2014 @ 11:49 am
I noticed the large mirrors on the wall behind you….no surprise there…..beautiful bride, beautiful groom! Thanks for sharing your lovely story and enchanting pictures! Wishing you many more years of happiness! Congratulations!
August 13, 2014 @ 12:51 pm
I have been to several wedding receptions in the Gold Ballroom….clearly I missed the best one.
August 14, 2014 @ 10:31 am
Loved this! And seriously – Jon Hamm?! I’m pretty sure he can’t dance even HALf as well as Paul. AND has absolutely no idea how to load OR transport Giant Fancy Things. It seems as though Paul is the best treasure you’ve found yet. Happy 10th!
October 4, 2015 @ 10:43 pm
You two are better than Ginger and Fred on the dance floor. What joy!