You know your project is out of control when…
This was supposed to be a post about my latest craigslist find and an introduction to the Mirror Troll’s sister – the Bed Troll… But I got a new computer over the weekend and I am still muddling through transferring files and photos and reinstalling applications and trying to figure out why stuff is not syncing.
It is a total novelty that I can do ALL of those things simultaneously without the computer saying–you ask too much of me, I need to lie down.
Further making this a good week: Paul and I were interviewed for a story in The Philadelphia Inquirer about the relationship-stress associated with house projects, big renovations, and everything that goes along with them.
The reporter was great; she had been through a whole-house overhaul herself, so the conversation was more like an opportunity to commiserate, rather than trying to explain the way stress and dirt and endless decisions magnify all your worst qualities.
At some point, she asked us if there was any specific example we could think of that best illustrated relationship-stress? Paul said–I am so glad you asked. Let me get out my list.
And it made me think of the thread on my Facebook page where you all shared your version of that question: how do you know when your DIY/ construction/ genius-project-later-revealed-to-be-a-terrible-idea has gotten out of hand?
If you missed it, the responses are priceless.
We unanimously voted Meredith the winner for assembling an engine hoist in her basement to move a giant soapstone sink.
p.s.- I loved all the links you left in the comments last week. Of course my favorites were the old-house stories and photos… there were so many I had never seen! But the variety of other stuff was also really interesting and made me feel like I had some insight into your personalities.
FYI–Paul’s favorite was the dinosaur illusion. Mine is hard to narrow down, but maybe the photography site of abandoned and crumbling castles. I would happily live in any of those houses in exactly the condition they are in. (I would vacuum, just so Elvis’s feet did not get dirty.) The bed alone in that first photo gave me some kind of fit.
p.p.s- If you know Miss Mustard Seed, you know I was thrilled when she featured my glitter writing on The Kingdom Mirror in her Furniture Friday post… (Don’t miss all the links at the bottom to other bloggers sharing their furniture-related projects and ideas.) If you are new to her site, I think her half-bath renovation is lovely.
p.p.p.s- My little brother Matthew is going to get my old computer once it is tuned up, and I am sad I will not be there the first time he turns it on because I am going to set his desktop photo as a pink, sparkly unicorn.
January 15, 2014 @ 9:35 am
Uh, I have that exact sink in my basement. I just thought it was a concrete monstrosity. People save those?! Must rethink my laundry plans if this is true?!
January 15, 2014 @ 9:38 am
and just now reading all the other comments. I really must work…
January 15, 2014 @ 9:40 am
Looks like there is an engine hoist in your future?
I personally am jealous of her sink… (and her ingenuity) but if you didn’t want to incorporate yours, you could always sell it. I have no idea how someone would move it… But I think we all agree that if you WANT it, you will find a way.
January 15, 2014 @ 11:35 am
SAME!!
January 15, 2014 @ 9:44 am
I know our projects have gotten out of hand pretty much any time my husband says, “That looks easy- shouldn’t be a big deal!” {insert ominous bell tolling}. A few days later I end up needed to call my dad and he and I fix the mess that was left 😛 Luckily I am the handy one, and I think he is learning to accept that.
January 15, 2014 @ 9:49 am
Now he thinks things are getting out of hand?
I love reading your stories!
January 15, 2014 @ 10:18 am
Great post, but I’m left smiling about the pink sparkly unicorn desktop. I gather your brother doesn’t read your blog? My brother doesn’t read mine either. What’s up with that? Where’s the brotherly love, dammit?
January 15, 2014 @ 10:37 am
I have a sink that resembles that in my basement. I think it’s a zink sink. I’m not
charmed by it. When we had to tear out the kitchen ceiling because of leaky
copper pipes it was a ah-oh moment. We made lemonade however and put up
a wainscoted wooden ceiling. But, not before much yelling and many
expletive deletes escaping from my significant other’s put upon self. The ceiling
is lovely! But just wait until he has to tear out and rebuild the basement stairs because
I think they are hideous!
January 15, 2014 @ 11:07 am
What has likely saved us from renovation hell is the fact that I am utterly inept when it comes to any sort of handyman work. Seriously — I nearly flunked Shop in 8th grade, taking twice as long as any of the other students to complete our assigned projects, and turning out pretty wretched results when I did. (My mother, bless her heart, still keeps on her fireplace mantle the fireplace tongs I made, which could not be safely used to pick up a marshmallow, much less a burning ember.) I suspect my shop teacher truly thought I was developmentally impaired. My sweet wife Sandra has a matted and framed copy of this webcomic on the wall of our house: http://wondermark.com/523/
Said sweet wife has much better skills and talents than I do, but has spent so many years watching renovation shows (starting with “This Old House” and currently including “Rehab Addict”) that she would frankly rather skydive naked into the Amazon than undertake any sort of home improvement beyond refinishing window sills or maybe repainting a bathroom (though it’s been years since she last did that).
January 15, 2014 @ 7:18 pm
That comic link is so funny! – thank you for sharing it and making me laugh out loud…. something I don’t do all that often, so when I do, I treasure the moment. Loved it!
January 15, 2014 @ 11:15 am
Oh my, I must have missed the full thread of fb responses on when you know a DIY project has gotten out of hand. This will be my entertainment this evening. I would love to read your interview, be sure to post a link to it if the paper has a website (doesn’t everyone have a website?).
I love Miss Mustard Seed and have followed her for about 3-4 years. As I am not handy I view her projects in amazement. If I could paint furniture like her I’d give up my day job. Mr. B and my skills at renovation pretty much parallel Bruce’s story (one of your readers).
I still can’t wait to hear what wonderful item you found on craigslist this go around.
xo
Karen
January 15, 2014 @ 12:02 pm
You lost me at ‘Bed Troll’.
And for the love of God, dear woman, please, please, PLEASE post tons of photos.
January 15, 2014 @ 12:31 pm
Your comment about crumbling castles reminded me of the British television series I discovered just a day or so ago on YouTube. You may have already seen it… It makes most of our projects look like child’s play. Episode 6 came to mind immediately. I don’t have the link right now but you can search YouTube for Restoration Home.
January 15, 2014 @ 12:59 pm
hot diggety dog you’re back! My life has improved exponentially! Your computer experience is going infinitely better than mine. I misunderstood the query “save old settings” to mean save every dumb thing I had managed to screw up on old computer to new computer. Naturally I opted out of that insane option thus finding all photos, records, etc.etc.etc. wiped forever from existence. Fear not- I had a backup hard drive which seems to be in possession of these items but has no way of allowing me access-I have hopes that a paleontologist of the far distant future will be overwhelmed by my treasure trove of various dogs,cats,and kiddies. Oh well- Life is hellishly hilarious and that’s what I like about it. also I believe you know how to whip it into shape and make it all sparkly which is why I await new missives with slavish devotion. I might have gone a bit overboard there-apologies
January 15, 2014 @ 1:01 pm
I feel your pain. Having spent the last 3 days migrating my computer operating system from Windows XP to Windows7 (and having my son repeatedly point out that there’s already a Windows8 during the process), I’m still reinstalling applications that I mistakenly thought would somehow “auto-magically” transfer because I ran a 9 hour backup to an external drive.
I’m so happy to have found you and it’s not JUST because you’re hysterical. It’s because we’re kindred….by this I mean that I often show your blog to my husband: 1) as proof that it’s completely normal to have spent my New Year’s Eve cutting a hole in the bathroom wall to determine whether or not there were studs or if it was just plaster over brick and 2) as fair warning that if I ever find a kingdom mirror on Craigslist, he’ll need to rent a truck. xo
January 15, 2014 @ 1:21 pm
Has the article appeared in the Inquirer yet? If not, do you know when? Maybe I can catch it online or get my sister to buy me a copy 🙂
January 15, 2014 @ 2:56 pm
I didn’t read all of the comments yet, but went to the link of the abandoned castles, and just lost myself for quite a while. I didn’t finish looking at them, but got through maybe the first 100 or so. OH, MY, . . . I’M TOTALLY AT A LOSS! How are these amazing places abandoned and left to rot! I want to cry!
January 15, 2014 @ 3:54 pm
Okay. Define “out of control”?
That phrase is so foreign to me. No matter what, I am in control, (usually repeated over and over as I rock myself in a corner).
I just had a random thought and it scared me a little. Control is merely an illusion. What if the things I thought WERE utterly under control aren’t? What if they are waiting for the opportune moment to break free of their bonds?
Now I have “Dust In the Wind” by Kansas stuck in my wee brain.
Where was I?
Could be the time the moving guys started my armoire on fire, but it was a controlled fire, confined to the back of their truck. Control WIN!
OR the time (the same movers) had their truck impounded with my stuff in it. Again, it was, in all reality, totally under control. Seriously, can you think of an environment less controlled than a police cage?
Maybe the time I was convinced that the antique French baker’s rack WOULD fit around the wall of the basement stairs if we only used BRUTE FORCE. It stayed wedged there for a week and the only ones who could get downstairs were the cats.
Handsome Husband says the list is waaaay longer but he has a negative attitude that we are working on changing for the New Year.
He wanted to mention the 50 tons of soil I had removed and replaced for my gardens or the limestone capitals that I bought on Craigslist that the “movers” (who consisted of a guy in a seemingly bullet-riddled rusted van and his clinically obese “helper” with a beard to his knees, who sat in the back of the van in a green plastic chair and never moved. How did he maintain balance on the drive over? Where was I again?
Oh yeah! The stoner moving guys who couldn’t move the 500 pound limestone capitals (and never tried) and who demanded to be paid the full price anyhow and who ranted and raved in the middle of my neighborhood that I was taking food from their children’s mouths…then I had to pay REAL movers $500 just to move the capitals from my front yard to my back yard!
Frankly, I have had more “sooo…this is how I die” moments than I have had “you know your project is out of control” moments.
Perhaps another topic for another day?
xo
Andie
January 16, 2014 @ 8:50 am
Using an engine hoist to remove such heavy obstacles is not only pure genius but sheer dedication! Props to Meredith!
January 16, 2014 @ 9:38 am
haven’t been around for a while and see myself lock-eyed for a few evenings, checking out every single link and re-reading all the posts, comments, ideas, praise and applauding!
how wonderful to have found you… 🙂 – Did you win the giant disco ball chandelier?!
January 17, 2014 @ 5:28 pm
I figure all of our house projects will either bring us closer together than ever or leave the greater Seattle area in flames, and I’d blame the previous homeowner for the latter, frankly. Who refloors the entire downstairs minus two rooms, one of which they didn’t even bother to tape and mud, honestly?!
January 18, 2014 @ 11:12 am
When you decide you must restore all your broken sash cords, and your husband lights the end of the new sash cord on fire, to melt the edges together, and you think it’s a clever idea to lick your arm and press the smoldering cord against your wet skin, to put it out. (For “safety.”) I seriously thought it wouldn’t hurt! Surprise of my life.
I can’t wait to hear about the bed troll.
January 20, 2014 @ 12:28 pm
I feel like you need to see this: http://craigslistmirrors.com/
January 20, 2014 @ 12:53 pm
Thanks Anna; I just lost about 10′ of my life marvelling at this list 🙂
… and laughing till I coughed because of some of the photos and the lack of any knowledge or feelings of shame of the picture-takers!
January 20, 2014 @ 9:00 pm
When my husband is asked what he likes about being married to a decorator/DIY addict, he has learned to say, “The constant change” with a completely straight face! He’s a doll!