Once upon a time. Craigslist. The end… *video*
While watching yet another stranger enter our home and cart off some of our belongings, Paul said – I finally figured it out: that bookcase is clogs.
He is referencing a story that my parents love to tell:
Shortly before I turned four years old, my parents took me into a shop where I saw a pair of child-sized clogs… and with the conviction of Napoleon building his empire, I knew that THESE WERE MY CLOGS. And when my parents tried to leave the store WITHOUT MY CLOGS, they couldn’t. It was impossible.
They have difficulty putting into words, how a four-year-old child could be uncontrollable between two full-sized adults… and knowing my parents, I’m sure they told themselves this was evidence of my tenacity of spirt; not an indication that they had raised Satan himself.
I refused to leave the store, and eventually my parents were forced to show me that actually, they HAD bought the clogs. They were a surprise for my birthday.
Immediately, Satan retreated and I skipped out of the store.
Then I was fine waiting for the clogs… I would ask— how many days until my clogs? But I was ok, because I knew THEY WERE MINE. Then, once I got the clogs I wore them all of the time, even while sleeping.
I tell you this story to explain that I have an incredibly high capacity for liking something… long past anyone else’s tolerance or understanding.
When I like something, I LIKE IT. And I do not need to like anything else. And there is no chance that I will forget about the liking. And there is no chance I will move on from the liking.
Rather, I will devote all of my time and energy to liking it, EVEN WHILE I AM ASLEEP.
I first showed Paul this bookcase four months ago. He actually laughed out loud.
Then he looked at me seriously and tapped my forehead, three-inches above my eyebrow.
He said – this is where the horns come out.
Then he walked away.
I decided this was his endorsement; because if you know about my plan and you do not crush it wholeheartedly and with all of your force, and then present to me the carcass of my dreams, you must be in agreement.
With that cleared up, I was able to move forward.
I have done nothing but think, talk, and plan compulsively, for getting this bookcase.
For months, Paul has listened to me speak of nothing else.
My interest has not dulled or waned.
Rather, it has intensified.
As promised, I have sold all of our belongings… a simple trade: everything we own, in exchange for one single item of magnificence.
The problem with this particular magnificence was that it was several states away… I said this bookcase was in Arkansas (this was my decoy)… but it wasn’t.
I am sorry that I lied to you, but I was afraid that someone would go and buy what is rightfully mine.
This is one of the things I learned while working at the CIA: obfuscation.
My bookcase was in Cleveland.
Out of all the 900 possible issues, the biggest challenge was this: the inability to know FOR SURE if the bookcase came apart.
If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you will remember that every single one of these massive pieces of furniture dismantled down to nearly nothing and fit in the back of a minivan:
1. the portal to Narnia.
2. the Victorian bookcase.
3. the Empire cabinet.
On the other hand, it was equally possible that it wouldn’t come apart… in which case, we are moving a monstrous, solid piece of furniture that is nearly 150 years old and has three original glass doors.
Which is exactly what happened.
Now that it’s all over, I can admit this:
I assumed something would go horribly wrong, and I kept this certainty to myself.
Because I wouldn’t be there.
So it wouldn’t be my problem.
Last weekend, Paul drove to Cleveland. With my father. Without me. To load a truck with a 9’ tall, 6’ wide bookcase that I had only seen pictures of. While I stayed home, read up on Gilded Age mansion history, and brushed Elvis.
The plan:
1. Paul and my dad drive from Philadelphia directly to see bookcase.
2. determine if it comes apart = dictates size of truck Paul rents.
3. go to truck rental and reserve a truck for the following morning.
4. spend the evening with my cousin who lives in Cleveland.
5. pick up the truck first thing in the morning.
6. load the bookcase.
7. Paul drives truck home, Dad continues his trip to Indiana.
8. Paul is exempt from any wrongdoing for the rest of his existence.
9. my life is complete, I can stop looking on Craigslist, shut down my blog, and live a life of quiet solitude with my things.
I’ll end this post by acknowledging that I know what you are thinking:
HOW DID PAUL GET SO LUCKY IN LIFE?
No? That’s not what you are thinking?
I too was confused… so I asked him – WHY would you do this for me?
And he said – is it not a reasonable explanation that I love you and I want you to be happy?
Which sounds nice, doesn’t it? Except – no, I am really not that lovable.
If I evaluate myself honestly, I have very few redeeming qualities; most of which aren’t remotely valuable to anyone else and involve an appreciation for absurdly flamboyant and unnecessary situations… with extra points if costumes are involved.
So I don’t have a good answer, and I know I will get some comments in the vein of: Paul is a saint… and I’d like to point out that the logical progression to that suggestion is that I am his path to canonization.
Pam
April 12, 2016 @ 6:04 pm
My heart was in my throat when Paul was spinning you around and both your arms were flying!! After stressing that those were ORIGINAL glass panels, I was thinking OMG and after all this time, one is about to get broken! ?
I should have had more trust in Pauls steering lol.
Edith
April 12, 2016 @ 6:11 pm
OH my gosh. It’s so BIG and FANCY! So much grander than the bookcase! Good job!
Morgan
April 12, 2016 @ 6:29 pm
The determination of sainthood hinges on the answer to the following: Did Paul know the clog story before proposing? If so, he knew exactly what kind of torture he was in for and did it anyway, so I’d vote for canonization! If not, well, a few more years of manic GFT chasing and acquisition should do it nicely.
Kiki
April 12, 2016 @ 6:49 pm
Gr8!!! Oh so very worth the wait and ‘big sale of everything’ (you gotta be kidding me!) for this über-fancy-gorgeous piece of beauty! All the lions in the zoo are jealous… and yes, Sainthood for Paul is full-on, he just skipped a few hundred miles up on God’s waiting list 🙂
The video really ‘finished me off’ – I got the mail with the post and at the very same time my visitors arrived so that I couldn’t read your post, just a quick lookie-look at the pics – and now that they’re gone, the darlings, I can and did indulge in the gloriousness of the super-tight-fitting bookcase and the brilliant mini-movie…. Gosh I’m so happy for you and Elvis and Paul.
Just one tiny demand I have: Can we skip part 9 of your list – that would be toooooo sad!
Bisous (kisses) from France, K
Toni
April 12, 2016 @ 7:33 pm
Wonderful purchase! Lucky, lucky girl! Now Paul will have some peace……for a little while! :o)
Karen Lemieux
April 12, 2016 @ 8:03 pm
We are best friends, and possibly sisters… just thought I should let you know. And, whereas you married a saint, I mated for life with a Vulcan, who sees no logic in pretty things. Fortunately my Vulcan’s salary has allowed me to hire strong humans to deliver and reassemble a Craigslist butler’s pantry, have Craigslist stained glass windows from an 1890’s bank restored and installed in our bathroom and to fetch my own Craigslist vintage camper from the state capitol after having a hitch installed on my car expressly for that purpose. One of the nicest things I’ve discovered about our friendship (which began last week) Is that I do not envy any of your finds but am happy for you with the purest joy possible. Live long and prosper Victoria Elizabeth!
Patty
April 12, 2016 @ 8:11 pm
Absolutely beautiful and Elvis looks equally impressed! If it was my hubs doing this for me I know something was being planned, like a guys Vegas trip or something along that line. If nothing gets slyly dropped at breakfast one morning along that line then, yes,he is indeed a Saint!
TONI
April 12, 2016 @ 10:27 pm
Love the bookcase – Love Paul – Love You and especially Elvis.
Rose
April 12, 2016 @ 10:47 pm
Are those THE clogs that I see in the window?
Christy
April 12, 2016 @ 11:20 pm
Well, I’ve waited this long to weigh in on my favorite blog.
And this acquisition was worth the wait!! The perfect amalgam of spousal investment and unutterably perfect taste… Words fail me, but the end result is its own validation.
Love, love, love your blog. And BTW, it was the writing that snagged me ?
Sunnie Mitchell
April 13, 2016 @ 4:26 am
Oh wow – oh wow – oh wow! That is the GFT of all GFT and I’m over the moon that you have it safely arrived to your home. Gorgeous, staggeringly stupendous, well done, VEB, well done!
Susan
April 13, 2016 @ 6:17 am
What a great piece (both the blog and the bookcase) I have had more than my share of clogs, but no one to fulfill my dreams the way your hubby has for you! What a guy! Just subscribed to your blog- if this one article can be so entertaining, I am sure the rest will as well!
Brittany
April 13, 2016 @ 6:51 am
Please do not be upset at me asking this, but I’m trying to figure out what made this piece so special that you would sell so many of your other things? I know all those who understand it are just patting me on the head like one would do with a child who just can’t understand, but I really am curious. I really love your blog and have followed for some time and I mean no insult in this. If you have time I’m curious what is the difference in these GFTs?
Judy
April 13, 2016 @ 1:58 pm
I gotta interject my 2 cents worth on this one-you may not be aware that Virginia is a Lady of grace charm and dancing ability and also 6 feet tall-did you notice her petite-ness next to the GIANT fancy thing?
Also its total fancy-ness from the tip of its splendor to its 6 ft wide base.
The Defense Rests…..Phew!
Kathy
April 14, 2016 @ 12:39 pm
And I’ve gotta interject my two cents’ worth here. You must be aware that Virginia’s name is Victoria, right?
judy
April 14, 2016 @ 7:04 pm
Duh! Woe is 75 year old me-
I live in Virginia and follow Victoria….sorry….
Tammy
April 13, 2016 @ 7:31 am
That thing is fabulous and I would give up other things in my house to get it too. My new Victorian era 8.5 inch framed mirror would love to have tea with your bookcase.
Victoria
April 13, 2016 @ 7:55 am
Hahaha. Sent this post to my boyfriend pointing out that I’m not as bad as you.
Then accepted that I am as bad as you, I just haven’t found a ginormous piece of dream furniture recently.
So pleased you got it home in one piece!
Laura Whittington
April 13, 2016 @ 8:12 am
You my friend are a kindred spirit! I have the same obsession with old large furniture, and my poor husband, like yours, appeases me. Thank God for them!
Marian@CMShawStudios
April 13, 2016 @ 8:24 am
That bookcase looks so good by the Portal to Narnia! See, the Universe was just helping you get rid of all the inadequate stuff so you could have GFT harmony. And, as far away as Cleveland is, Arkansas is a lot farther. You did Paul a favor.
Looking very Fancy over there.
The Other Marian
Christianne
April 13, 2016 @ 9:06 am
I’m a busy girl. A lot of the time, I don’t have the time to read through the posts of all the bloggers I rarely have the time to read the posts of all of the blogs that I follow. But I really enjoy reading yours. Not just because I too, love ridiculously ornate things.
And you are an ornery but wise one to avert our attention to Arkansas. I live about 3.5 hours from Cleveland.
I, on the other hand, do not have high enough ceilings, a large enough home or the income to support this life style. That, along with your creative writing skills and ridiculous brain waves (which I adore), is probably why I keep finding time to read your posts. Even if my husband was Paul’s brother and would lovingly traipse to do my bidding.
Sandy Bianchi
April 13, 2016 @ 11:46 am
I have been waiting to see what this new piece could be. You do not disappoint! It is magnificent. I loved the video too !!
Dianne
April 13, 2016 @ 12:48 pm
Paul you dear sweet angel….this event will certainly secure your place in the hearts of women everywhere. 🙂