A short video of my first auction experience.
Last month killed me… I am actually writing from beyond the grave.
(Such is my commitment to you.)
I might not even be here today, if it were not for the fact that I went to my first auction, (apparently even in death, I cannot pass up the possibility of a good find) and I wanted to submit a brief report.
Brief report:
Auctions are an endurance sport of having your nerves shredded.
I do not have the mental energy to form coherent thoughts about it.
Except:
WHY ARE AUCTIONS HELD IN A LANGUAGE THAT IS NOT HUMAN?
This cannot be the best way.
In auction world – you can have THREE auctions. In the SAME warehouse. At the same TIME. And give all the auctioneers a microphone.
For the first hour, I felt like screaming – SPEAK NORMALLY!
After that, I was too busy attending to the bleeding from my ears to be bothered anymore.
Plus, on top of the noise, chaos, and way too many strangers –I had rolled out of bed and gone in pajama pants. Which was a bad plan because it was HOT. So unbelievably hot. The kind of hot where you are sweating, just standing still.
I would have left immediately. Except, obviously that would have interfered with acquiring my thing. What was it? A sofa. For Elvis.
It is a little bit oversized for her, but (like me) she likes her fancy things to be giant. Plus, it is her favorite color. And it is upholstered in velvet which means she will not have to even work to shed all over it.
Seeing as how not one of you told me about auctions, I think it speaks to my selfless good nature that I am not stingily keeping this new goldmine to myself.
If you have never been, I made you a short video. If you cannot watch it at work, here is the synopsis:
Indecipherable, anxiety-inducing noise.
Finding something I need.
Elvis.
Like a metaphor for my entire life.
July 9, 2014 @ 10:07 am
Any progress on the Kitchen?
July 9, 2014 @ 10:07 am
I LOVE auctions! Sadly I have moved to the UK where there are lots of auctions but they speak like normal people. It is just not the same.
Good for you for surviving your first one! I’m sure you will be back.
July 9, 2014 @ 2:36 pm
Me too! The only auctions I’ve been to here (NE Scotland) where everything sounds very familiar are the stock auctions. Lol, that’s universal I think!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:08 am
I started going to auctions when I was in high school – such fun! But estate sale auctions are less stressful – usually just one auctioneer, and around here at least – cheaper prices (we’re not usually talking GFTs, but they can be found!) Nothing like trying to load your purchases into the back of a truck before the summer thunderstorm starts, though. Or calling your husband to hook up the trailer and bring over the “big” tractor because you’ve just bought a claw foot tub for $10 from a house about to be demolished and you’re not quite sure how to get it out of the house…..
July 9, 2014 @ 10:33 am
Oh Kelly we could be best friends! That sounds just like a call I would make to my husband!
July 9, 2014 @ 12:15 pm
My husband obviously needs to buy a tractor…..ASAP!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:09 am
What an amazing couch and Elvis definitely deserves it. Great find and always fun to read about your adventures.
July 9, 2014 @ 10:14 am
OMG, my Shelley would LOVE that, though after my failed experiment with the red velvet chaise lounge that I HAD to have (and has since been shrouded in a vintage coverlet I can throw in the wash), I don’t think I would have the energy to own it. Nor the nerves for auctioning. My last one was years ago and I’m still recovering.
July 9, 2014 @ 10:15 am
I fortunately inherited this same style couch and my cat, Samson loves to sleep on it. I don’t know how you were able to stay in the noise of an auction. I hope Elvis appreciates you.
July 9, 2014 @ 10:17 am
Congratulations, Elvis! That sofa really sets off your fur!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:18 am
Dutch! You went to DUTCH! My ALL-TIME favorite auction house!!!!! Hubby and I go to the previews every other Saturday, and usually leave bids for each Monday auction. We know the staff there really, really well! Tell Anita and Carol (two of the auction assistants for the box lots section up front) that Laurie said hi, and they’ll take good care of you!!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:18 am
LOL… I just went to my first auction last month. Definitely not for the faint of heart or hard of hearing. One little hunt in your bag for a TicTac and your fav item has been sold to another bidder. It’s sensory overload on a level that surpasses Christmas shopping at the mall. And yet I know I’ll be going back for more!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:19 am
Where was this auction? How did you find out about it? Couch was an awesome find and Elvis looks great on it!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:22 am
I’ve never been to an auction. I’m still getting used to standing on line at the check out at the grocer. Some day, I’ll work up my nerves…who knows, I may attend an auction near you…you’ll recognize me because I’ll be the one with the ear plugs, standing politely near the back…and probably going home with NOTHING…although I do covet the chandelier that’s in the background of your photos. Elvis’ new sofa is lovely!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:23 am
Please post more often. 🙂 Love your stories and the recent video was awesome! Elvis is spoiled…as he should be.
July 9, 2014 @ 10:23 am
Oh, you are in BIG trouble now that you have discovered auctions. They are even more addictive than Craigslist. You can find hoards of giant fancy things at auctions. Say goodbye to life as you knew it. Paul is in for a lifetime of hauling auction finds now. I can’t WAIT to read your future “fresh from the auction” posts!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:25 am
Auctions are the BEST!! We have a small antique shop, and attend 3 local auction almost every week.
Once you get used to the ruckus, you tune out all the gibberish and just listen for the numbers. And NEVER get sucked in to paying more than you want to. You’ll get an immediate case of buyers remorse if you do!
I must say I’m SHOCKED that you, of all people, were an auction VIRGIN!!
Welcome to a whole new addiction!!!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:26 am
Wow what an ordeal but Elvis seems to appreciate it! And we know she rules the house lol. Nice sofa! Well done!
July 9, 2014 @ 10:37 am
Love the color. I have a velvet sofa in that exact color…but there was no sweat, no heat, no having to move it and the ladies at Pottery Barn were much easier to understand.
July 9, 2014 @ 10:38 am
Elvis looks beautiful on your new settee. Auctions are the best! My own home is peppered with “finds” from all kinds of auctions. Estate auctions held on the front lawn of a house are my favorite type. I dislike it when multiple auctions are held at the same time, but they do seem to provide the widest range of possibilities. If you don’t mind a drive from Philadelphia there is a really unique auction held every Wednesday in Crumpton, Md., 4 auctions held at once. One is a riotous affair held from the back of a moving pick up truck. see http://www.crumptonauctions.com
My advice is to attend as many auctions in as many formats as you can manage, from farm to Sotheby’s. Go with no intention on making a purchase, they are a great place to learn about antiques or collectibles. Find an auctioneer whose style you like and who generally has events that include the type of items that appeal to you. Go often enough that you can begin to recognize other frequent attendees and can distinguish the dealers/pickers from people like yourself. Generally dealers and pickers have lots of money to bid with, but they have to be able to make a profit on what they buy. If you find yourself bidding against them for something you truly like and win your item you really haven’t overpaid. However bidding against someone like yourself can proved disastrous (see rule number 2)
But the two most important things about buying at auction are:
1. Never buy anything that you haven’t examined. Attend the preview or arrive early to look things over, and ask for an auction assistant to move things that prevent you from getting a good look at all sides, even the bottom.
2. Set a limit on what you will pay for each item and stick to it! Auction fever is contagious and deadly to the wallet.
Now where are you placing your new settee and did it require a trip to the roof?
July 10, 2014 @ 5:56 pm
Victoria, if you need further encouragement to attend Dixon’s Furniture Auction in Crumpton, MD take a look at this entry by Travel Hags. Her focus is on the more bizarre aspects, but there is some good stuff here too. I remember and episode of Antiques Roadshow that showed an Atlas purchased there for next to nothing that was valued at high 5 digits.
Love your blog and look forward to each new entry.
July 10, 2014 @ 6:01 pm
Forgot the link: travelhag.com/2013/06/27/crumpton-auction/
July 9, 2014 @ 10:38 am
Ah, well, if you need something to do on a Wednesday, you should check out Dixon’s Furniture Auction in Crumpton MD.
July 9, 2014 @ 10:43 am
I’ve missed you. So nice to have you back…. amongst the land of the living! Even tho you are a long way from Australia….
July 9, 2014 @ 10:48 am
It was all worth it for that yawn and stretch at the end ! So funny…. !