A Christmas Decorating Miracle
There is no end to my creativity when the other option is doing actual work.
For example, if I were to say to myself – Self, you should write the Great American Novel or get your PhD in quantum physics.
Self would say – that sounds boring. And hard. Also, I do not know what quantum physics is.
And I would say – I know, but it is important to do hard, boring things. So that at the end of your life you are not sad that you squandered the opportunity to accomplish them.
To which Self would say – the world already has Jonathan Franzen and Stephen Hawking… what it needs you to do is figure out how to write on The Kingdom Mirror with glitter.
I could not wait to show you all my spectacular revelation and brilliant Christmas decorating extravaganza. (And to prove yet again that the unexamined life is absolutely worth living.)
First, I spent 57 hours planning something really elaborate. Then I moved on to googling how to write on a mirror with glitter… And it appears that I have INVENTED something new.
Apparently no one else on the planet has heard the angel voices telling them that they need to make a glitter Christmas message on their giant antique mirror.
I am the chosen one.
I wanted glitter-encrusted magnificence, not just glitter paint (even though it is entirely possible that would have been 99.9% just as good.) So I needed a liquid-ish base to add actual glitter to.
I would have liked to use something like latex or caulk – something that would have peeled off. But once you cover glitter with paint or glue, it is distinctly less glittery so I could not use anything too thick or that would dry opaque.
Plus I was concerned about using something that would stain the glass or leave behind a shadow… Even though theoretically glass is not permeable, I did not want to be the exception to the theory.
I kept googling stuff and asking Paul – what about this? What about this? What about this?
Until finally he said – do you remember where we got that mirror? Remember how it was living in an alley? Under a tarp? Enduring rain and probably cat pee? Then, do you remember how we tied it to the back of a truck and drove it down the freeway?
You and your glitter are not going to be the thing that ruin that mirror.
It is possible that by next year I will have thought of a better idea… Or that you geniuses will point out some obvious solution I overlooked. But for this year, I decided on kids’ tempera paint.
It’s water-soluble and I was able to find a clear version that had silver glitter in it so there was no chance of dye staining the glass. And just in case, I did a test run on a mirror that I do not care about.
I mixed glitter into the paint and used a paint brush to apply it… But rather than the glamorous nod to Bergdorf’s windows, or elegant script on a Parisian café window, it looked exactly like I had smeared wet cat litter on the glass.
It is totally inconvenient for me to not have access to a team of people who could execute my ideas while I shout orders and say things like – Dahling, no! What is that? That is not what I asked for!
It was extra irritating since I had spent way too long going to multiple craft stores looking for possible supplies which resulted in me accruing a whole bunch of other unrelated stuff for entirely new ideas that seemed like a good idea at the time, but were revealed to be total crap by the time I got home and now I will have to go back to return the stuff which I will never get around to, and the bags will just get shoved into my closet of shame along with all of the other bags of projects that I conceived of and bought supplies for and then lost interest in.
Anyway.
I let the cat litter dry and did another coat. It looked better. Proving my motto that more is always better.
In all, I did three coats. I let it sit on the test mirror for a few days and then I used the glass-scraper to remove it. It worked pretty well. The paint will leave behind a film, but it came off with warm water and a little dish soap.
You can see in the box below that for the most part, it came off in strips.
You want to be sure that you do not use glass glitter for this. Glass will scratch glass. (Although, I did use glass glitter because I forgot to buy plastic glitter and there was no way I was driving back to the craft store even though I should have, so I was VERY careful to remove all the glitter before washing the mirror.)
Originally I had planned a more elaborate design… but after playing with it, I decided that I would be better off doing something simple that would photograph well, rather than spending hours drawing something no one would be able to appreciate without seeing in person.
If you mix a small amount of flour or baby powder into some water, it makes a faint watercolor and you can try out your design…When you are satisfied, go right over your template with the glitter-paint mixture.
I know at least one of you is going to ask if I tried just the paint without the glitter… And no, I did not. I do not even understand the question.
Clearly, you are someone who does not like to do everything the hard way. And I feel bad for you. Really, really, really bad.
see all my holiday decorating posts
December 10, 2013 @ 11:03 am
I love the Christmas glitz and glitter and your kingdom mirrors. But small-minded, petty me can’t help but think the “joy” looks more like “goy.” Could it be a link between Chanukah and Christmas? A nod to the Jewish Jesus bringing joy to the goyim? 🙂
December 10, 2013 @ 1:08 pm
I’m a bit of a calligraphy nerd and it pretty clearly says Goy not Joy. Some unfortunate looping in front of the J makes it look like the cursive capital G. Victoria, you may have to start over!
December 10, 2013 @ 2:20 pm
My first thought was that it said ‘goy’ also, but I betcha it’s a lower case ‘j’ and the snowflake is the ‘dot’.
Beautiful mirror, V.E.
December 10, 2013 @ 2:23 pm
I thought it said “Toy”. Uh oh.
December 10, 2013 @ 5:41 pm
So glad I am not the only one…all I can see is Goy, was wondering about the Jewish connection as well. It would drive me absolutely insane to leave it that way, I’m kind of guessing that it might drive V crazy now that we have mentioned it.
December 13, 2013 @ 7:20 am
To my eye, it is clearly an embellished lower case j. Art does not follow rules. That’s what makes it art.
December 10, 2013 @ 11:06 am
Please where did you get your garland? Is it real? If its real how on earth do you keep it looking so lush? I live in the philly region as well and am obsessed with garland at the holidays. I have even been known to knock on peoples doors who homes look amazing as inquire about the garland. Hmmmm sounds like I have an issue lol
December 10, 2013 @ 11:58 am
Sara, check a previous Christmas post regarding the garland. V.E.B. ordered 200 yards of it from somewhere and I’m pretty sure she mentioned the source. (BTW, you’re not Jill M.’s Sara are you?)
December 10, 2013 @ 11:07 am
You’re the BEST, Victoria! Finding your blog is the best Christmas present ever!
December 10, 2013 @ 11:08 am
Oh, Victoria, you did good! You thought of something AND finished it. This was not what we agreed upon with our super-secret handshake.
p.s. I had the exact same metallic-ish ironing board cover. I think I bought it someplace super fancy. Like maybe Target.
December 10, 2013 @ 11:11 am
You are a JOY,
December 10, 2013 @ 11:11 am
I think you should pin images of your mirror and label them with ‘How to write on a Kingdom Mirror with glitter,’ not just a mirror. People will pop over to your blog just to figure out what the heck a Kingdom Mirror is! And once they read that story, they’all keep coming back for more!
December 10, 2013 @ 11:17 am
What I love about you is that you make all of us who secretly love doing things the hard way able to laugh at the people who are laughing at us while we pretend we’re laughing at ourselves.
December 10, 2013 @ 9:27 pm
Genius observation Zandra. We should put this on a T-shirt.
December 10, 2013 @ 10:56 pm
…and then, laugh.
Love the t-shirt idea. Brilliance!
December 11, 2013 @ 1:41 am
…. seconding that! Only few however would be admitting though?! I laugh all the time at situations like this…. & I have the wrinkles on my face to prove it! 🙂 Do we place a large T-shirt order now?
December 10, 2013 @ 11:17 am
Would rubber cement work to hold the glitter on the mirror? Then it might peel off afterwards?
Great idea – looks beautiful.
December 10, 2013 @ 11:24 am
You are hilarious and making Christmas so much fun!
December 10, 2013 @ 11:28 am
Research is crucial and necessary. Besides, why simplify when you can complicate? My brain does not know the shortcut to simplifying anything! It travels its own road less traveled…….a long and winding road.
I love Patricia’ s idea of minions living in the closet of shame. Genius, Patricia.
December 10, 2013 @ 11:39 am
“There is no end to my creativity when the other option is doing actual work.”
This is the story of my life.
December 12, 2013 @ 10:51 am
“There is no end to my creativity when the other option is doing actual work.”
THIS is the T-shirt we should all order!! 🙂
December 10, 2013 @ 12:06 pm
I MUST find some glitter paint… xoxo
December 10, 2013 @ 12:06 pm
Something tells me if I try this out on my IKEA mirror, your Kingdom Mirror may hate me. Sure as hell beats lipstick which every time I see on a mirror anywhere I think Good luck getting that fun off.
December 10, 2013 @ 12:21 pm
This is gorgeous. Simple beautiful. And your writing invokes smiles and laughter and appreciation for your wit as always 🙂
December 10, 2013 @ 12:40 pm
I love your idea and I love your mirrors. I recently read an article that mentioned glitter can be dangerous to cats if they get any in their mouths or digestive tracks . I’m a new cat owner, and my kitty is a bit of a sampler and chewer. I thought I would mention this, although your kitty may not be as problematic as mine.
December 10, 2013 @ 12:43 pm
Love your “closet of shame”! Mine resides in bathtub-sized plastic tubs labeled “Possibilities”, but angst/shame is what I usually feel when I see them and think about $$$.
December 10, 2013 @ 12:43 pm
OMG – “Closet of shame”. Great description. It’s also amazing how much of the overflow can be stashed under a canopy bed, with a nice long bed skirt to hide the shame. 🙂 The mirror looks fantastic. Also love the pillows, as well as the sleeping cat. Your home looks beautifully festive for having an especially wonderful Christmas with your family and friends.
December 12, 2013 @ 10:57 am
Waterbed drawer frames, placed strategically on bed frames BEFORE the box and mattress, afford extra storage for overflow, also, and look amazingly like princess or Victorian high beds. They can either be hidden under flowing linen, or embraced in all their glory. I get very creative when it comes to storage ideas! 🙂 😉
December 10, 2013 @ 12:55 pm
So many comments, per usual! You are one popular woman, due your talent and that Kingdom Mirror! May I just say that I have ALWAYS wanted to be able to say to someone, anyone, “Dahling, do this” or “Do that!” Oh, yes.
December 10, 2013 @ 12:58 pm
I love this! A beautiful treatment for your awesome mirror! I would love to have a giant mirror in my house, my boys would smash it in a matter of minutes I am afraid. Love it!
December 10, 2013 @ 1:37 pm
My first thought was, she used her hot glue gun. Much too boring and pedestrian! I like your idea better.