Once upon a time. Craigslist. The end… *video*
While watching yet another stranger enter our home and cart off some of our belongings, Paul said – I finally figured it out: that bookcase is clogs.
He is referencing a story that my parents love to tell:
Shortly before I turned four years old, my parents took me into a shop where I saw a pair of child-sized clogs… and with the conviction of Napoleon building his empire, I knew that THESE WERE MY CLOGS. And when my parents tried to leave the store WITHOUT MY CLOGS, they couldn’t. It was impossible.
They have difficulty putting into words, how a four-year-old child could be uncontrollable between two full-sized adults… and knowing my parents, I’m sure they told themselves this was evidence of my tenacity of spirt; not an indication that they had raised Satan himself.
I refused to leave the store, and eventually my parents were forced to show me that actually, they HAD bought the clogs. They were a surprise for my birthday.
Immediately, Satan retreated and I skipped out of the store.
Then I was fine waiting for the clogs… I would ask— how many days until my clogs? But I was ok, because I knew THEY WERE MINE. Then, once I got the clogs I wore them all of the time, even while sleeping.
I tell you this story to explain that I have an incredibly high capacity for liking something… long past anyone else’s tolerance or understanding.
When I like something, I LIKE IT. And I do not need to like anything else. And there is no chance that I will forget about the liking. And there is no chance I will move on from the liking.
Rather, I will devote all of my time and energy to liking it, EVEN WHILE I AM ASLEEP.
I first showed Paul this bookcase four months ago. He actually laughed out loud.
Then he looked at me seriously and tapped my forehead, three-inches above my eyebrow.
He said – this is where the horns come out.
Then he walked away.
I decided this was his endorsement; because if you know about my plan and you do not crush it wholeheartedly and with all of your force, and then present to me the carcass of my dreams, you must be in agreement.
With that cleared up, I was able to move forward.
I have done nothing but think, talk, and plan compulsively, for getting this bookcase.
For months, Paul has listened to me speak of nothing else.
My interest has not dulled or waned.
Rather, it has intensified.
As promised, I have sold all of our belongings… a simple trade: everything we own, in exchange for one single item of magnificence.
The problem with this particular magnificence was that it was several states away… I said this bookcase was in Arkansas (this was my decoy)… but it wasn’t.
I am sorry that I lied to you, but I was afraid that someone would go and buy what is rightfully mine.
This is one of the things I learned while working at the CIA: obfuscation.
My bookcase was in Cleveland.
Out of all the 900 possible issues, the biggest challenge was this: the inability to know FOR SURE if the bookcase came apart.
If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you will remember that every single one of these massive pieces of furniture dismantled down to nearly nothing and fit in the back of a minivan:
1. the portal to Narnia.
2. the Victorian bookcase.
3. the Empire cabinet.
On the other hand, it was equally possible that it wouldn’t come apart… in which case, we are moving a monstrous, solid piece of furniture that is nearly 150 years old and has three original glass doors.
Which is exactly what happened.
Now that it’s all over, I can admit this:
I assumed something would go horribly wrong, and I kept this certainty to myself.
Because I wouldn’t be there.
So it wouldn’t be my problem.
Last weekend, Paul drove to Cleveland. With my father. Without me. To load a truck with a 9’ tall, 6’ wide bookcase that I had only seen pictures of. While I stayed home, read up on Gilded Age mansion history, and brushed Elvis.
The plan:
1. Paul and my dad drive from Philadelphia directly to see bookcase.
2. determine if it comes apart = dictates size of truck Paul rents.
3. go to truck rental and reserve a truck for the following morning.
4. spend the evening with my cousin who lives in Cleveland.
5. pick up the truck first thing in the morning.
6. load the bookcase.
7. Paul drives truck home, Dad continues his trip to Indiana.
8. Paul is exempt from any wrongdoing for the rest of his existence.
9. my life is complete, I can stop looking on Craigslist, shut down my blog, and live a life of quiet solitude with my things.
I’ll end this post by acknowledging that I know what you are thinking:
HOW DID PAUL GET SO LUCKY IN LIFE?
No? That’s not what you are thinking?
I too was confused… so I asked him – WHY would you do this for me?
And he said – is it not a reasonable explanation that I love you and I want you to be happy?
Which sounds nice, doesn’t it? Except – no, I am really not that lovable.
If I evaluate myself honestly, I have very few redeeming qualities; most of which aren’t remotely valuable to anyone else and involve an appreciation for absurdly flamboyant and unnecessary situations… with extra points if costumes are involved.
So I don’t have a good answer, and I know I will get some comments in the vein of: Paul is a saint… and I’d like to point out that the logical progression to that suggestion is that I am his path to canonization.
Kate
April 12, 2016 @ 1:00 pm
Love this!!! Congrats on your newest member of the GFT family. My first thought after seeing the video was, “Hey! It came apart! The lion thingy came off!” 😀 😀
April
April 12, 2016 @ 1:02 pm
Well, I am here because of your humor and wit. Can’t say I would move a piece of heavy furniture for it, but it must help the job go easier.
Brenda
April 12, 2016 @ 1:21 pm
Wow! I mean, it’s absolutely gorgeous! And Paul is a saint! But… I thought this highly anticipated GFT was the piece de resistance for your kitchen!!! What is happening with that?!
Trudy
April 12, 2016 @ 1:24 pm
Excellent piece of property and worth the obsession! Now, are you going to share the price and the negotiation tactics with us? Your blog, your home, your stuff, your call, of course. But I must say I am curious! I adore your writing!
Jamie
April 12, 2016 @ 1:24 pm
Love it. Love you. Love your writing, Love Elvis. Paul did good. You did good.
sarah
April 12, 2016 @ 1:33 pm
I think our husbands went to “niceness” school together!
I have also visited this obsessive land you speak of where there are perpetual parades and tiaras and floats full of toothy teenage pageant queens. Where one constantly schemes outrageous, ruinously expensive and potentially lethal ideas–(I have lately immersed myself in the sidesaddle equestrienne world.)
But the outfits are fantastic!!!!!
Love your blog!
Garden, Home and Party
April 12, 2016 @ 1:37 pm
This has to be my favorite blog post ever. It’s the happy ending to a story that has kept us dangling for weeks (will she get the amazing bookcase?). It’s a beautiful piece. Is it just the way the photograph looks that it almost didn’t fit inside the house? Is the top touching the ceiling?
Happy birthday! I think this piece was worth the wait.
xo,
Karen
cmt
April 12, 2016 @ 2:06 pm
Magnificent and clearly meant for you. Clogs. Hope you aren’t really going to stop blogging.
kristine
April 12, 2016 @ 2:06 pm
That Eastlake bookcase paled in comparison to this beauty. Well done!
tammigirl
April 12, 2016 @ 2:06 pm
It’s perfection! See? If you had told me it was in Cleveland I could have bought it and, erm, uh, held it for you!
I’m so glad you got it! I understand being singular when you want something. I am the same way. I want one thing, I know what it is, I will accept no substitutions. If I can’t have it I do not want a consolation. (Because I am secretly believing I will still get it… somehow.)
Kris
April 12, 2016 @ 2:10 pm
Are you an Aries? Your tenacity–since childhood, apparently–resonates like a bell from Notre Dame of my fiery 6 year old Aries-born girl. What you write about (very well, I might add) I can totally imagine my precious Erin living one day!! It gives me hope. I have prayed that her strong willfulness would one day be used for good. What’s better than procurring such wonderful pieces that not only make you happy, but strengthen your marriage!! Kudos and thank you!!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
April 14, 2016 @ 1:39 pm
Yup! Aries! HIGH FIVE!
Kate
April 12, 2016 @ 2:10 pm
SOoooooo jealous…. I also covet GFT, but live oppressed by low ceilings and no Saint Paul to facilitate. Stunning wood, I would spend the day lovingly petting it with lemon oil so its happy and recovered from the stress of its uprooting. Looks so made for that space… Greatly enjoy your adventures, lets see what you must have next!
Dawn
April 12, 2016 @ 2:10 pm
First my jaw hit the floor. Then it jumped back up and smacked me upside the head where the reverberating phrase why don’t I just start shopping Craigslist US was thrumming like a freight train.
I would say that that is magnificent but the word does not carry enough validation. There is a level of utter astonishing grandeur that exceeds my wildest dreams and human conceivability .. and you my dear .. own it.
Your world justifies my unstoppable obsession with living in the champagne version of a koolaid budget.
Thank you for raising the GFT bar well above my imagination, but not above the aspiration. May I meet you on the other side in time 😉
Glenn
April 12, 2016 @ 2:13 pm
Please tell me why you neither seek out nor seem to have stumbled upon A GOLD CROWN WITH PLENTY OF RICH DARK JEWELS FOR PAUL. So? We’re waiting.
JayneZ
April 12, 2016 @ 2:15 pm
Absolutely purrfect — of course I’m referring to sweet Elvis, but the new bookcase is a beauty too!
Amber
April 12, 2016 @ 2:22 pm
sooooooo worth the wait and the selling of all the things, it is GLORIOUS!!!!!
Amber
April 12, 2016 @ 2:23 pm
p.s. please post a picture of the clogs
Anne Berbling
April 12, 2016 @ 2:37 pm
Oh, Victoria, I HAD this, in the armoire! (Top was the VERY same…) Sadly lost in a fire…
Wonderful acquisition, here, bravo!!
Anne
Anne Berbling
April 12, 2016 @ 2:40 pm
And, I am so glad sweet Elvis is still with you (I have read older posts) ~ I lost NINE kitties; oldest was 18…in the aforementioned fire…
Patricia E
April 12, 2016 @ 2:51 pm
I absolutely love your latest GFT! Stunningly worth all the trouble. You are my new muse. When I see some mass-produced decorator object that catches my eye, I ask – What would VEB do? (WWVEBD? for short) The answer is invariably, “No. Go for quality. Go for greatness. Go for only the things that you will still look at with love and delight in 20 years.” I have bought nothing since I found your blog a few months ago. So not only are you an inspiration but you are a beacon of sanity in a consumerist wasteland. I will finalize my divorce, I will get my own happy place (be it ever so humble), then I will find my own version of GFTs to make it my own! Love you chica!