PERSEVERANCE: the courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.
Something is happening in my life that could mean one of two things:
1. My craziness is escalating.
or
2. Elvis’s impending demise is driving me to seek excessively larger and more mentally-absorbing GFT’s* to experience a feeling other than panic and despair. (*Giant Fancy Thing)
Either way, I have found something. And I cannot unfind it. And I cannot think about anything else. And I am short many dollars.
Up until last weekend, Paul tried to overlook this new development… but eventually he ran into a problem: trying to live in blind ignorance vs the impossibility of disregarding that I am selling all of our belongings.
Months ago, I began a campaign for a new GFT. [redacted photo of new GFT]
I’m sorry that you’ll have to imagine this new item of fanciness, because I am not stupid enough to show it to you and expect everyone to respect my dibs while I try to raise funds.
The funds have been resistant and I’ve had to get creative… these are the options I’ve considered:
1. Start doing sponsored posts.
I want to write about mail-order food-delivery and mattresses EVEN LESS than you want to read about them, but I’m revisiting my motivation behind that.
All along here, I’ve been so smug… I thought: I AM SPECIAL! And, MY BLOG IS SPECIAL! But now I’m unsure WHY I thought I was so special… All I’ve been doing is passing up Craigslist cash in the form of boring you; which in retrospect just seems like laziness, poor planning, and stupidity; so basically, all of the ways I normally ruin everything.
2. Armored car heist.
This seems likely to net what I need, but given my difficulty moving the laundry from the washer to the dryer, I am uncertain of my ability to plan a detailed and time-sensitive burglary.
3. Sell everything we own.
By process of elimination, I’ve chosen this last one: empty out the house.
I started by selling things that I wasn’t attached to… and some of you are going to freak out when I tell you that I sold the card catalog… but do you know what people pay for those things?? A LOT! (I sold them both; the big one and the little one.)
But now I’ve moved on to the stage where I’m selling stuff I do have an attachment to… this fretwork bookcase is a piece of furniture I really LOVE, and getting rid of it was giving me real anxiety until Paul helped inadvertently, by giving me the wrong sales pitch.
He said something to the extent of how we should just keep the crap we have, because our current furnishings are an accurate representation of our lifestyle.
And Self was like– no. Erroneous. Some of our current furnishings are a representation of a sad person’s lifestyle… Self does not wish to be sad!
The morning I emptied out the cabinet for pickup, Paul said – is it possible you are going to regret selling this cabinet? After all, there is no guarantee you’ll get this other thing… You might just end up with an empty wall.
I said – yes. That is possible… but it is also possible that you should prepare yourself to drive to Arkansas.
Paul stood there little longer. Then he said – just to be clear, the plan is: jump out of airplane with no parachute and hope that you can BUY A PARACHUTE ON THE WAY DOWN… that doesn’t seem a little dicey to you?
I said– maybe, yes. But also maybe there is a mid-air, 24-hour, parachute shop. (They probably play disco music and serve those mini bottles of champagne.)
Although, of course since the weekend, I’ve had plenty of time to second guess myself.
But ultimately I’ve decided this: serious people need to make serious decisions. And I am nothing if not serious.
February 16, 2016 @ 12:08 pm
Yes to sponsored posts. Your post on the subject of mattresses will be hilarious.
Would you consider giving Elvis a kiss from me?
February 16, 2016 @ 12:09 pm
I think it is time you get some counseling. Losing a close pet is difficult and you don’t want to go crazy doing rash things and take your husband down the rabbit hole with you. I go for a tune up whenever I have PTSD. It is important to do during overly stressful times in life.
February 16, 2016 @ 12:18 pm
Victoria, you are undoubtedly my sister, from whom I was parted at birth. The upgrading from one GFT to a bigger, better GFT is totally logical – no, make that mandatory! Go ahead with sponsored posts – they’ll never know what hit them! And, a scratch and a cuddle for sweet Elvis!
February 16, 2016 @ 12:28 pm
Being a jump off the high diving board and on the way down wonder if there’s water in the pool kind of person I can relate. Have always been this way and lucky for me it’s always worked for me. Drives others crazy.
Sending loving and calming thoughts to you and sweet Elvis. It’s never easy to let a pet go but I feel it’s probably the most wonderful gift you could ever give them.
Ads wouldn’t bother me at all. Do shat you need to do to keep going. I’d miss your happy smiling face popping up on Facebook.
Sometime we forget we need to do what we need first anx also what makes us happiest.
February 16, 2016 @ 12:30 pm
That cabinet was gorgeous – and I love all your jadeite! BUT, this NEW GFT must be pretty darn good if you’re willing to sell previous GFT in order to get it. I trust your judgement and taste and I can’t wait to see it!
February 16, 2016 @ 12:30 pm
Being an antique dealer off and on for the past 26 years and having a GREAT affinity for antiques/junk (sometimes it’s a fine line) AND going through 3 divorces in 10 years AND selling EVERYTHING I had and moving to Costa Rican, I’ve accumulated and sold more stuff than anyone can possibly imagine. I decided to live the Zen/Minimalist life in Costa Rica which was fine since all I could find to collect were rocks from the beach. (I had thousands) Back in the US in a much smaller house, I decided to go with all white furnishing and décor. Keeps the impulse buying to a minimal, but still fun. I was born a natural collector and I think it stays with you forever. You have many Kindred Spirits Victoria.
February 16, 2016 @ 12:32 pm
Get it girl. Whatever needs to be done for a GFT. It’s all about priorities. A common conversation on our house :
“What happened to that little side table with the ‘blah, blah, blah’?”
“What little side table?”
February 16, 2016 @ 12:33 pm
If one boring sponsored post gets 4 posts about GFTs I’d consider it a fair trade! Also, I’d love to hear reviews of those food delivery things. I WANT to try them, but regular grocery shopping usually ends up being thrown away instead of cooked, so spending MORE $$$ on what might end up also being garbage is too risky.
February 16, 2016 @ 12:34 pm
Craigslist should totally be paying you anyhow!
February 16, 2016 @ 1:05 pm
I would rather visit you in prison after an armored car heist than read a blog with sponsored posts. Please, to thine own self be true… It is what makes you so much fun to read! Another monetized blog is just more corporate advertising that I make every effort to avoid like it is the plague (in much the same way that I avoid mice!).
February 16, 2016 @ 1:21 pm
So glad to see you are going for it!!!! You need a new GFT in your life right now – hell, we probably all could use a GFT in our lives!!!! Can’t wait to see it, you never disappoint!
February 16, 2016 @ 1:27 pm
1. I have a deep love for you.
2. I first thought the pinecone was a really wrong harido. (thank goodness I was wrong!)
3. I think you need this obscure GFT and I can’t wait until you get it and we get to see what it is.
4. If you need to road-trip (first I typoed rad-trip but then I erased it but immediately thought “Wait! It would be a rad trip!”) partner I am down for shenanigans.
5. I can’t believe you are selling giant fancy things you love. I want the money fairy to bestow all GFTs on you without you needed to sacrifice other GFTs to get them.
6. No word of a lie – I am a Tuppeware lady and we can do a FUNDRAISER with the special fundraiser line to get your GFT fund where it should be without you sacrificing your GTFs to the volcano.
Dude – call me!
February 16, 2016 @ 1:50 pm
I would buy something! I think this is creative and funny.
February 16, 2016 @ 1:44 pm
We adore you! Sponsors are fine 🙂 But you must spend all the $ on GFT’s! Thats a rule 🙂
February 16, 2016 @ 4:34 pm
LOVE that idea Kat!
February 16, 2016 @ 1:49 pm
Victoria,
You can’t imagine how much I wish I had been there to make my bid for some of the treasures you’re dumping. 🙂 I love your blue and white collection, but I’m positive I’ll love the fabulous thing you’re saving to purchase even more.
Thank you for the link to ghp. You’re the best. I saw the little ink drawings in your case. I know you’ll find a new home for them.
xo,
Karen
February 16, 2016 @ 2:51 pm
You are ingenious and creative. So go for it!
I too, can not wait to see the new “must-have.”
My husband says, If not now, when? I love his philosophy! We have built 4 houses and totaly remodeled one in our 43 year marriage. I’m embarking on a re-do of the two year old remodel now. Let’s see if my husband still says, If not now, when?…. In a few months! 🙂
February 16, 2016 @ 2:54 pm
Not the card catalogues! I wish I lived closer- I would have bought them, but alas , Australia is just too far for posting!
February 16, 2016 @ 3:33 pm
Oh my! I saw a pic of your latest GFT on Facebook post by different blogger. You may have to sell more than your furnishings! Good luck, it is the cats meow!
February 16, 2016 @ 4:12 pm
YOU ARE SPECIAL! Never doubt that for a second. Even in saying that, do what ever needs to be done to get that GFT that we are all dying to see. We won’t care about sponsored ads. But seriously, how can we get our grubby raccoon paws on your left overs??? Is there a link somewhere?
February 16, 2016 @ 4:33 pm
You should crowdfunding it. I’m in. I want to see the GFT that would warrant selling the yummy bookcase!
February 16, 2016 @ 4:34 pm
I really really really wish Paul had a blog as commentary on his internal processing of your emptying the house, filling the house, designing a piano kitchen island, and all GFT related. Please pass on my request for the Rebuttal Blog. Because that would be amazeballs.
And I agree. Do some product reviews. We will love them. (I want to learn how to do it so you can inspire me– consider it a great act of charity in addition to funding your GFT obsession and Paul’s Rebuttal Blog — please give him a stipend to encourage him to blog).