Christmas decorating war zone.
Christmas mess reached critical mass sometime around Sunday afternoon.
The kind of decorating war zone where you cannot even walk around because every square inch of floor is covered with random crap.
At some point, the ironing board, the sewing machine, the vacuum, a stepstool, the sled, a massive box of garland, and 20 Mason jars were strewn about the dining room.
And that does not even count the boxes of actual Christmas decorations.
Instead of labeling the boxes Christmas 1, Christmas 2… I should name them mess, irritation, waste of time, why did I buy this, and where the hell are the wire cutters.
Especially since I have ALL new ideas. Which will require ALL new supplies. So I will not even need to open those boxes. I could just throw them in the trash.
Not that I will, because that would require detaching from some of this junk.
It is like a train derailment of ideas shouting at me, all the time:
- You should make a DIY giant snowflake template… trace it multiple times… cut out a ridiculous number… cover them with glitter…figure out how to upload a template in case anyone else on the Internet is compelled to do this sort of time-wasting activity.
- Run to the craft store like a maniac. Buy a bunch of total crap you don’t even need.
- Scrub out the Mason jars. What will you do with them? WHO KNOWS?
- Make a Candy Cane centerpiece! You can fill it with cloved oranges! Ugh, no. That looks stupid. Abandon that. NEXT!
- YOU SHOULD DO A VIDEO OF YOUR HOW TO MAKE A BOW TUTORIAL. YOU SHOULD START RIGHT NOW.
It is probably unnecessary for me to verbalize this, but – I am a wholly impulsive person. Once I think of something, I must do it. No matter that I will not finish. No matter that I do not even WANT to start.
Also, another rule is that no matter how tired I am, or how obvious it has become that this is all a high dive into a shallow pit of insanity, I cannot quit. Or scale back. Or compromise. Or just recycle last year’s Christmas posts…
Front porch decorated for Christmas. How to make a bow.
Anyway… Surprise plot twist!
This was supposed to be a post about you.
I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing holiday. (If such a thing exists.)
If you’re traveling, be safe. If you’re hosting, I hope the one person who most sets your teeth on edge can’t make it.
For me this year, the thing I am most thankful for is you.
(And Elvis, but she is always at the top of any list and does not diminish your standing.)
YOU ALL are the very best thing ever.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
see all my holiday decorations!
November 26, 2013 @ 12:23 pm
I can relate. Help?
November 26, 2013 @ 12:31 pm
The Mason Jars would make a great chandelier made out of wire, a good use for hubby! he would love to make that for you! fill the jars with red candles for Christmas, it would look lovely on the front porch!
I gave up making these types of messes long ago! but I still feel your pain!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
November 26, 2013 @ 1:01 pm
My Christmas crap has been strewn about for almost two weeks. All I can think about right now is how much I need some key lime pie!
November 26, 2013 @ 1:09 pm
Well dang! I was going to explode that you have taken OCD to a whole new level of heights unknown, and then you go and spoil it all by being sweet and generous in your well wishes for my holiday… though I am now depressed because my house looks far worse than yours, plus is dirty. And my front porch has never come close to looking that festive and would be better suited with a poster of The Grinch taped to it so everyone will be afraid to venture inside.
I may get off this couch sometime today and possibly get dressed, wherein I might manage to go to the grocery and buy ingredients for two of the most complicated dishes I have committed to bring for Thanksgiving dinner… that is, if I actually remember (and have the energy) to make them.
So, while you, and my industrious sister in- law who also manages to run a small home-based business on the side, beat your turkey drumsticks over my head, I think I’ll take a nap. You can still find Chinese take-out on holidays right?
Happy thanksgiving.
November 26, 2013 @ 3:55 pm
Thanks for the laugh. I love Victoria’s blog and her followers. If this is what group therapy is like – I’m in. 🙂
November 27, 2013 @ 7:39 am
You are welcome Babzy; I love to laugh too, but could cry at all of the extra work around the holidays. I need a fairy godmother who will appear, wave her magic wand, and put everything together like a dream. So far, she hasn’t shown up. Until she does, I need “group therapy” as much as anyone and found Ms. Barnes’ blog just in the nick of time.
November 26, 2013 @ 1:15 pm
What Laurel said. And a little of Diana C., too. Ouch.
This may be the funniest line I’ve read in a long time:
Instead of labeling the boxes Christmas 1, Christmas 2… I should name them mess, irritation, waste of time, why did I buy this, and where the hell are the wire cutters.
Brilliant. Happy Thanksgiving!
November 26, 2013 @ 1:19 pm
Are you saying the floor isn’t supposed to look like that?
November 26, 2013 @ 2:00 pm
Love the “May he not show” line!! I wish. Happy Holidays toy you! Ellen
November 26, 2013 @ 2:26 pm
I officially declare you my favorite blogger. Please procrastinate on your projects and write more blog posts so that we can read them and procrastinate on our own projects. Thank you.
November 26, 2013 @ 2:43 pm
Now I know how to label my boxes of Christmas decorations! I love that you somehow seem to have gotten into my brain and mined the craziest part – the creative part. I have endless ideas, and endless piles of unfinished projects. I am an artist, and keep waaay too much stuff, cause someday I may need it! Ah, the curse of the creative mind!
November 26, 2013 @ 2:54 pm
Hey, hey, hey! Don’t abandon your candy cane centerpiece! I say, throw some shiny glass ornaments/or disco balls in that bowl and tie a ribbon around the canes with a pretty bow. Try it! I wish you could see the Christmas project that has been weighing on my mind for the last two years. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been collecting supplies and building up the courage to start it. Maybe I can get it STARTED this year.
November 26, 2013 @ 3:34 pm
haha I will start this mess this Friday and my main floor rooms will be unlivable. I will clear most of it and finish it, sort of, until 12/23. At that point, I shove anything undone, laying out or messy in a closet to deal with when I do tear down. I love it all and will be very gleeful about it until tear down. I label nothing which makes it even “gooder”.
I wish you the best Thanksgiving EVER!
November 26, 2013 @ 3:46 pm
I love reading your blog, because I see so much of you in myself and it is very comforting to know that I’m among so many other crazy, crafty, collecting creatures. I should take photos of what I have going on in my home – it would give you an idea of what is in store for you if you continue down this path of insanity. I’ve been doing this since my twenties, and fifty years (or so) later, I could just open up my front door and invite everyone into my “craft store”. Every time, I’m wowed by a new idea – off I go to get more supplies, invariably duplicating something I already have, because who knows where it my be in my house. Last year I gave away two huge cartons of undecorated wreaths – many hand made from materials I found when wandering around local wooded areas. It may not seem like much, but it’s a start. Cross stitch, knitting, jewelry making, sewing, card making, stamping, punching, paper making, ribbon art, calligraphy, painting, art and craft books. Yup – I’ve got the supplies – in closets, under beds, in the basement. I guess I have a long way to go to get this “store” under control. 🙂
So keep up the good work! You’re just beginning your collection of stuff that will be useful someday, and if you get tired of it, you can always give it away or sell it to some other creative person. Thank you for sharing your creations. Love, love the snowflake idea, and the front door looks FABULOUS! How you manage to do all that you do and write a blog on top of it all is amazing. I always look forward to your postings. You’re one of my favorite creative people! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
November 26, 2013 @ 3:52 pm
I love that you shared this. I’m secretly convinced that every blogger everywhere has their home looking exactly like yours just outside of the camera shot. Or at least that’s what I tell myself so that I don’t dissolve in a pile of tears. Happy Thanksgiving, friend!
November 26, 2013 @ 4:28 pm
Oh wow, that is the best ever Thanksgiving-Holiday wish EVER – “…If you’re hosting, I hope the one person who most sets your teeth on edge can’t make it….”
Dang, that made me cry! Thank-you, and back’at’cha!
November 26, 2013 @ 4:30 pm
Oh, my child. Does it comfort you to know there are other members of your tribe out here. I have, for several years, tried to conquer that part of my right brain that over-reaches and leaves the mess for my left brained self to clean up. A long process. My goal now is to simplify so my life will be easier and my husband will be happier. I don’t have enough years left to complete the projects for which I collected the materials. And I’m tired. I still have that tendency to stray when something shiny catches my eye. If I can just limit the times I go off into some fantasy land, I’ll feel good. Too bad I didn’t have the writing ability to entertain others with my escapades. I have such an appreciation for you and your talent. You are quite a delightful young lady….the pearls prevent my saying young “woman”, even though you are a young woman also. The world needs creative people. Keep it up.
November 26, 2013 @ 5:34 pm
This post is the reason I have had my kitchen table covered in craft supplies and every time I have sat down to make my cards, decorations etc. I reached for a glass of wine instead. I am currently drinking a beer while I type this and fanning my smoke alarm who knows my culinary skills all too well b/c I was distracted by something else (reading your blog) while cooking dinner. I think maybe if I am lucky the kids presents will get wrapped by Jan.
November 26, 2013 @ 5:35 pm
All the REAL bloggers had their homes perfectly decorated for Christmas before the soggy decaying jack o lanterns hit the compost bin ( of course they compost, doesn’t everyone?). Score one point for reality (REAL reality not television fake “reality”).
Not only do I love your posts, I love all the quirky comments afterwards … and I want those upside down witch cupcakes Garden, Home and Party’s response led me to. And how many other squirrel brained readers know exactly what I’m talking about? Those cupcakes are awesome!
November 26, 2013 @ 6:58 pm
Oh, let’s just put the box of tiny vintage candy molds I am convinced I will drill holes in one by one and fashion them on a string of lights for my tree to the awe and amazement of all right there in your world of started and never finished…three years and counting.
Thank you for your blog. It makes me feel like I’m not alone in my procrastination, hoarding and ability to be distracted by shiny things. Happy Thanksgiving! I can’t wait to see the end result of your efforts… I’m sure it will be mind blowing.
November 26, 2013 @ 8:09 pm
Apparently I am the yang to your yin. I always complete everything I start– ahead of schedule, rarely misplace anything, know how to break down a complex task into easily achieved parts and never have anything on my dining room table that is not related to, well dining. Maybe that’s why I enjoy your blog so much. You poke fun at yourself and entertain with each post. It’s always a happy day when your craziness invades my world. Happy Thanksgiving — it’s in two days, make a list…
November 26, 2013 @ 8:51 pm
yang is defined as positive, bright, and feminine-yin as dark, masculine, and negative-I don’t find the yin qualities in this blog at all-your comment is the first that is kind of a downer and smug to boot. Sorry-I probably should have refrained but the crazy invasion of “your” world was just more than this very imperfect human could let slide and I do wish you and yours a very lovely and gracious Thanksgiving.
November 27, 2013 @ 5:26 am
You may have missed the broader meaning of yin and yang -which has morphed in literature and in regular speech into something that represents two sides of a coin – complementary but different.
Have a great day.
November 27, 2013 @ 9:34 am
I am sorry I commented-I do get nuance-but was the comment meant to convey complementary versus different or incompetent and self deprecating versus -um- “absolutely perfect in every way.” I don’t want to spoil anyone’s enjoyment of this wonderful blog-I was just more than gob smacked by the comment. All of you were sensible enough to ignore it or not interpret it as I did and boy I wish you would have left out the parting “Have a great day.” Ouch. and again Sincere apologies. Another lesson-well deserved of keeping my opinions to myself.
and then I found this blog and it said Hey look how smart,amusing and talented a person who is a bit disorganized I am
November 28, 2013 @ 7:38 am
So sorry if I gave a wrong impression or offended anyone. I love this blog, appreciate Victoria and was not trying to be smug in anyway. I was trying to convey, apparently not well, that people wired in totally different ways and with totally different gifts can enjoy and appreciate one another.
November 26, 2013 @ 10:01 pm
I love the labeling system for Christmas boxes! I have so much crap, I just don’t even open most boxes anymore. Throw them away? NOOOO, they may contain children”s handmade ornaments aka keepsake heirlooms. Being a procrastinating perfectionist takes it’s toll on me this time of year.
November 28, 2013 @ 9:26 am
And I am doubly sorry I commented-just try to envision a 73 year old coming to what I thought was a defense of someone I like and respect-As all of the other comments were made- yours (and mine would have slipped away without a ripple- and mine definitely should. I hope Miss Victoria will do us both a favor and delete, delete, delete. Back to basting and everyone have a Yummy Thanksgiving.