An Ode to Strangers on the Internet— where I get naked and show you my stats.
Back in September, I wrote a post about my best friend and me. I told the story of how, in our early twenties, we packed up her car and moved to Texas.
It is by far, my favorite post… but I had anxiety it might fall flat:
- hoping strangers will read random recollections about your twenty-two year old self? That is what’s called a narcissistic delusion.
- it had nothing to do with houses, home-repair, DIY, or renovation projects.
But then magic happened. It’s the only scientific explanation.
I felt like Lady Gaga. Like I’d sold out Wembley Stadium. Like I was Kate Middleton— and people were screaming my name and sending me free clothes and begging to do my hair.
All because of something I PULLED OUT OF MY HEAD.
And it totally made me rethink what I was blogging about. I mean, l love my house and all. But seriously? I have waiting to be the Princess of England for, like, ever.
See: Princess.
England.
I’m practically overqualified for the position.
—
It was amazing… my transcendent, meteoric, imaginary rise to fame and royalty.
You people? You magical strangers who read my story? You are my favorite people ever. You can come to my house at midnight and eat my food and put your muddy feet on my white sofa. I will offer you figs and olives, and buy the good champagne. I will run your errands and walk your dogs and unload your dishwashers and take out your recycling.
I do not know how you found me, or that story, but I LOVE you.
The idea of random strangers relating so much to me and Lara’s experience is amazing. I wish I knew every single one of you.
If you are one of the people who shared it on Facebook? I love you extra.
I was one, Lara was two… Who are the other 206 of you??? CALL ME!
Blogging is two things. Your own creativity. And other people’s consumption of it.
Prior to my September post about friendship, I didn’t really appreciate the consumption end. I mean, I looked at my stats everyday… If they were up, I was arbitrarily happy. If they weren’t, I was arbitrarily disappointed.
I say arbitrary, because I have nothing to compare them to. No one talks specifically about their stats or their numbers or their page views or their followers.
Something about the consumption part is vulgar. Or rather— caring about the consumption part.
Most of the conversations I’ve had about blogging, frame it as personal fulfillment. Almost as though blogging is a private journal, rather than transparent access to the most intimate places in your home and head.
Plus, no one mentions how they’d really like people shouting their name and offering Valentino couture.
Here, I feel like I should offer a disclaimer: I do understand some blogs will scoff at these numbers as paltry. Lucky you. Or that you might feel sorry for me— that my epitome of awesomeness came so cheaply.
I don’t relish being the object of too much Schadenfreude. Or judgment. But to me, this was the peak experience of my year. Possibly even since my wedding… So humor me.
My impression before now, was that there’s something distasteful about acknowledging your statistics… Similar to saying you like exhibitionist orgies.
But now? After 656 page views? I feel this—bring the orgy. Bring the leather pants. Bring me my guitar and my microphone and my chariot. Bring me sequins and spotlights and disco balls and big hair.
I cannot exaggerate… how quickly my fantasy-machine kicked into overdrive.
My imagination transformed my blog into a cross between ApartmentTherapy and TheBloggess— overnight, with no effort at all…
And then it was over. Like a flash-mob reading.
So now, my inner exhibitionist is sad. That after being uncovered and dusted off and tarted-up with fake eyelashes—now I’m supposed to go back to gutting our kitchen…
I’m sad that my Freddie Mercury outfit is impractical and stupid. And that it turns out I won’t be going on tour anytime soon.
And I would like to know— whom do I contact? For more of the blue stuff?
How do I access the blog-meth? Where is my dealer?
When I started thinking about how to show you the wild variance in my page views, and the corresponding views and shares of that post. Initially, I tried to figure out how to do it without actually SHOWING you my specific numbers.
You know, a shoulder shimmy, a little boa action. Nothing vulgar. Nothing hardcore. Keep my mystery. And my privacy. And maybe my pride.
So I cut out my all-time views. And chopped out any real statistics. I definitely didn’t want to show anyone how many people looked at my home page or total visitors or total clicks or whatever else these stats are monitoring.
But eventually I had this thought: why am I so closely guarding this information that’s pretty much meaningless? It’s not like it’s my I.Q. score.
Why wouldn’t I tell you these numbers? I’ve showed you unabridged house-ugliness and been open about the fact that I have a distinct and special ability to drive my husband to the brink of insanity. No WordPress stats chart is more private than that.
And the more I thought about it… Isn’t the core of blogging, curiosity? You get to see inside what people think about, write about, dream about… Inside almost everything except the actual blog.
And I decided, it’s kind of like a public service I’m doing here. So why not continue my good works and over-sharing?
To be clear, I do know that chart isn’t any kind of real statistical analysis… WordPress.com doesn’t support Google analytics or give you information about unique visitors or traffic patterns.
So you’re just left with a general sense of – yay! Or, bummer…
Not exactly an in-depth breakdown of your blog’s performance.
If you’re not a blogger, these charts are relative. Meaning, if you have 1 view per day, the graph will reflect 1 as your high-point and the chart will show you are kicking ass with your 1 viewer. If you get more views, the chart has to adjust to accommodate the new, higher level of page views. Which then reflects the disparity between your high point and your low point.
In my case, an avalanche of disparity.
A visual representation of a one-hit wonder.
Leaving me with an enthusiasm hangover and a totally skewed WordPress stat chart… And making every other day of my blog look sad.
My parents like to tell a story about when I was three. We had gone to the beach for lunch, and a group of older kids walked by… I toddled down the sand after them, waving half a banana, and cried— will you be my friends???
And that’s how I feel now. Come back! Please! Don’t leave!
Here! Have some of my banana!
October 9, 2012 @ 11:23 am
I’m impressed with your numbers. I have to admit I was overjoyed when I got over 300 hits when I announced that I got engaged – the stat was almost as exciting as the engagement (just kidding – a little).
October 9, 2012 @ 11:29 am
It’s bizarre to me, and possibly sad? How crazed with enthusiasm I was… shouting at my husband—I AM A ROCKSTAR. Then the next day, mourning my immediate fall from grace.
I’m jealous you got to blog about your engagement. I wasn’t nearly smart enough to have gotten on the blogwagon soon enough.
October 9, 2012 @ 11:29 am
Victoria,
Hilarious, but seriously, if they ask you to become Princess of England, can I be your driver or valet or something? We could all hang out with Kate and Will and laugh and attend British sporting events.
The problem with blogging, as I see it after 3+ years of doing it, and pretty much scratching my head as to why 376 readers liked a post about other bloggers, I see no rhyme or reason for one bloggers over the top numbers and why others (moi) fall into some abyss of non-celebrity. I often say, well, I’m doing this for me, a kind of journal. Who are we kidding, it’s fun to know other folks are reading our ramblings and even commenting.
For what it’s worth, I consider your blog writing to ‘rock star’ worthy and I believe all of your readers feel the same. They just don’t always comment. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Please keep doing what you do, it’s the best of entertainment and fun a person can have on a computer.
xo,
Karen
October 9, 2012 @ 12:24 pm
Firstly, Kate will need to leave. Sad, I know… everyone likes her. Also, I will be keeping her wardrobe and hats.
Secondly, I will need someone to manage the English country house… as I do not plan to spend any time there. Why have a country house if you have a palace? I’m sure you are just the person for the job.
After hitting publish on this, I immediately had horrible feelings of cringing and anxiety. Why did I think this was a good topic to blog about? Note to self—stick to writing about paint colors.
October 9, 2012 @ 2:07 pm
This is the “keepin’ it real” portion of the program. Besides, you’re just talking about stuff all bloggers everywhere (except the one’s whose comment count in in the hundreds daily) are curious about.
October 9, 2012 @ 1:00 pm
This post was both fascinating and an absolute scream to read! “It’s not like it’s my I.Q. score”! You have such a way of saying things that gets to the heart of things we all hold dear, whether admittedly or not. Keep posting!
October 9, 2012 @ 4:23 pm
Thanks, seriously. I really really really really appreciate you saying that.
p.s.- that is, actually pretty close to my I.Q. score. 🙂
October 9, 2012 @ 4:27 pm
What is–476? : )
October 9, 2012 @ 4:30 pm
Yes… that’s what I meant, but was (obviously) kidding. I’m not even sure the chart goes that high. Lol.
October 9, 2012 @ 1:17 pm
Well Victoria, I really enjoy all your posts. I love your writing style and I have often thought you would do well writing for a publication or you could self-publish. helpful link below:
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/05/why-and-how-i-self-published-a-book/
And just so you know, every time I pass a boulder oddly placed in a front yard I think back to your hysterical posts about the big rock and smile. Maybe this just proves how weird I am, but whatever. I dont care.
You do have a great talent. Cheers!
October 9, 2012 @ 4:28 pm
Thanks for the encouragement. You rock. Ha. Sorry, irresistible…
My best friend and her boyfriend self-published a book together. Their experience was both positive and negative. I think they would do it again, but I can’t say for sure… maybe if they had 163,000 people liking them on facebook like the guy in the link does…
October 9, 2012 @ 1:54 pm
I like this breakdown… it was entertaining and informative. And your blog is a wonderful read… I have no doubt everyone who’s visited will be back.
The post about your BFF is one of the first I found and it really resonated with me… also, apparently, everyone else! You hit on so many things… almost indescribable things… that make those youthful friendships deep and profound and important. It felt like you could have been talking about my own best friend from college… and it definitely made me nostalgic for those days when two single gals could bond so completely and so easily.
And yet… your blog turned out to be so much more than college girls and road trips! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all your posts. Will always be checking in to read the next and the next and the next. 🙂
October 9, 2012 @ 7:58 pm
You know how people always say—write what you know. Write what you love… blah blah blah. I always kind of thought, yeah, yeah… writing 101. But now I’m like, oh, right. There are reasons clichés exist.
When I started this, I thought I needed a niche. Or a definition. And the house thing was handy—plus sucks up all my brain-power anyway. Now I wish I had more to say about being twenty-two… It’s such a universal experience. Rather than screwdrivers and paint
October 9, 2012 @ 2:54 pm
I adore your blog and only found you because you liked my post… I too have a crazy driving across country story and didn’t know about yours.. so I have some more investigating to do since I apparently missed that post.
Thank you for sharing your stats. You’re a riot and I love reading your posts- I think you’re a rockstar no matter what those silly stats say! Keep it up.. they’ll be bigger than that before you know it! I’m actually going to “Pin” this now…. that’s how much I like it!!
October 9, 2012 @ 8:00 pm
You need to write your cross-country story. If only so I can read it.
I drove to Texas with my best friend when we were twenty-two. It was wild. In the tamest way you can imagine. Just SOSOSOSOSO fun to be that age and kind of untethered from growing up but still adult enough to be in charge of yourself… I’m sure you can imagine, even if your story isn’t exactly the same.
October 9, 2012 @ 4:28 pm
Nice stats *wolf whistle*!! I guess that’s the thing about blogging…..you never know what’s going to appeal to different people. Congrats on the rock star status. I’d be pretty excited too! 🙂
You know, the good thing about spikes like you had in Sept, is that you can see clearly who your loyal followers are…..all the people who are still reading. Those others, as nice it was to meet them, are just fair weathered followers. 🙂
October 9, 2012 @ 8:14 pm
I DO love my true blog buddies! Your comments are priceless.
With that particular post, the feeling of connecting with strangers to such an extent… Felt mindboggling. Genuinely. Like I’d made 206 new friends. To some extent that feels like a ridiculous thing to admit out loud. Seeing it typed out, I’m kind of like—do not post that, it’s insane. But it’s true.
October 9, 2012 @ 4:46 pm
You had me at “656 views.” And here I was all proud of myself at reaching 100 views just the other day…
October 9, 2012 @ 8:04 pm
Magic… it’s underrated. Also, short-lived.
October 9, 2012 @ 4:58 pm
I found that post through Freshly Pressed, so perhaps that is why there were so many more views than normal. I completely understand your let down when the numbers did not continue. I was doing fairly well for a while, and by that I mean at least 20 hits a day, and then suddenly experienced a drop off. I was very upset by it. My husband tried to explain to me that I should be doing this for myself, but I could just write in my journal if it was only for myself. The purpose of a blog is to share with others. I get so excited when I get new followers or comments. I hope that you continue posting because, although I am a new follower, I really enjoy reading your writing.
October 9, 2012 @ 8:32 pm
I really, really think that unless you’re the one writing the blog, you cannot understand the investment. My husband tries to listen, but I can tell his eyes glaze over after too much of, my blog, my blog, my blog… there’s no way to explain it to someone who isn’t doing it.
You have been blogging for THREE months? Probably not even quite three months, yes? Don’t be discouraged. You’re not even acclimated yet! Look at me, giving advice to people three months less than me. That’s kind of obnoxious, but I don’t mean it that way. Be patient, write, and seek out other bloggers. Interaction with the people who get what you’re doing makes a world of difference.
October 9, 2012 @ 7:21 pm
Hi Victoria,
I’ve never commented (or followed) a blog site before, but wanted to Congratulate you on yours. I love your posts and your style of writing, and get so excited when I see your updates pop into my mailbox. Hey, just wanted to let you know, in your latest post you say how excited you were about your stats and number of readers, but i was wondering if the stats tell you ‘where’ (country/location) your readers are from (as this would be VERY exciting). I’m in Melbourne, Australia.
October 9, 2012 @ 9:01 pm
I don’t want to scare you, but I love you. Seriously.
Before I had a blog, I never once followed or commented or participated. I don’t know why. Even if I really liked a blog, I didn’t feel like I had anything to add… or I just kind of figured it was an insulated world. Blogger over there, me over here…
Now, being on the other side of the fence, I realize how much of blogging is just sending my random thoughts out into the internet-wilderness… and mostly just wondering what people make of them. Other bloggers are good about commenting, because they understand the unfulfilling mystery-aspect… where you wonder if people liked or loathed what you wrote.
The stats do show me a map of my readers… It’s so nice to “meet” one of my Australian readers!! I’m so worldly and sophisticated!! I’m so glad you said hi!!
October 9, 2012 @ 9:41 pm
Well, well, well. So now we know just what a rock star your really are. I don’t have anything to add – I just thought it might add to your stats 🙂 But for the record if you ever write a book – any book – I’ll buy it – and I don’t buy many books – also, I don’t have a lot of time so make it a short one.
you are one of a kind VE – so keep up the good work.
October 10, 2012 @ 10:00 am
Laughing… I will make it an audio book so you can listen while building epic laundry rooms!
October 9, 2012 @ 10:43 pm
You are so AWESOME! Your “making you famous” post was really good, but the compilation of all your writing is what makes your blog great! – Angela
October 10, 2012 @ 10:01 am
Thank you for that, really.
After being away from the post for a day now, I see it could be interpreted as more about stats than I intended. I really wanted to convey the feeling of connecting with absolute strangers… and how surprisingly validating it was.
October 10, 2012 @ 12:29 am
Well, truth be told, I skipped over your giant travel-with-friend post and went straight to the 3 part porch story. Of course, that’s probably why my biggest day was 77! 🙂
October 10, 2012 @ 10:10 am
Well, it makes sense you’d go the porch route—you can relate to the house-obsession that drives some of us!!
October 10, 2012 @ 1:24 am
I’m subscribed to you through Google Reader, but I try to click through so you get the page views.
Sometimes I look at my numbers every day, but a lot of times I ignore them for a few weeks at a time. They’re pretty consistently low, so I feel safe doing that. I know some blogs get millions of page views a day but none of them started out that way. 656 is an awesome number. Bring on the four digit days!
October 10, 2012 @ 10:15 am
That’s incredibly thoughtful of you… and also not something I ever thought about!! That’s a great tip.
You’re on blogger… how do you like their stat charts? I guess I like WordPress’s, even though they’re not highly specific, the lack of detail lets you feel pretty good about yourself. Ha ha.
October 10, 2012 @ 2:01 am
This is so spot on… thank you for sharing. It’s wildly exciting when you get a spike and you’re like “yay!”. And then you get crickets. But no worries… you’re writing style and wit will continue to grow your readership. Plus you used “naked” in the title of this post, so you’re sure to reach 700 very soon. 🙂
October 10, 2012 @ 10:32 am
I don’t know at what point I tipped over into a person who thinks—Yes! I said naked! People will look! But? There you have it.
Also, I am not someone who likes randomness… I like everything neat and understandable. So the arbitrary whims of the Internet aren’t really doing anything for me.
October 10, 2012 @ 11:19 am
Oh Stats! Sometimes I quit them cold turkey (because yes, I blog bc I love it and if only one person reads it then I have officially shared…). But I always eventually sneak back and take a look.
It IS funny how a big day like that (and that post was really great and very memorable!!) does make the graph completely morph! The way yours is poking up in the middle in this shot almost makes it look like it’s flipping the bird 🙂 hee hee.
October 11, 2012 @ 10:21 am
I actually hooted at your observation… I don’t know how I overlooked that. It’s pretty much the essential summation of how that day’s aftermath felt. Like a big um, *dismissal.*
October 12, 2012 @ 1:19 pm
Oh, wow! I’m getting goosebumps here! There’s my avatar in one of your pictures! I believe this is second-hand or third-hand fame?!? But I’ll take it! Come on stat spike!
October 13, 2012 @ 8:25 am
Thanks for supporting my delusions of grandeur. It’s what I look for in a blog-friend.
October 13, 2012 @ 10:02 pm
I was almost giddy the first time I received a comment. A real comment – not a spam from sexy-need-a-date-and-a-cell-phone dot whatever. I think I’d rather show my driver’s licence picture than my blog stats, so kudos to you. (And you should be very proud of 656!). You’re blog is fantastic and a good reminder why I don’t want to renovate a house again 🙂
October 15, 2012 @ 9:52 am
My spam has literally no variety. It’s all generic-Viagra, all the time. It makes me wonder—is there really nothing else being sold on the Internet?
My blog is also a reminder to ME… why I do not want to renovate a house again. I mean, besides living in the mess, which is its own deterrent. Although? Despite the ongoing prompts, we still look at new, old-houses with an alarming degree of interest.
October 15, 2012 @ 8:45 am
Victoria… I’ve passed some awards along to you. Please feel free to accept or decline… whichever you choose. I just enjoy your blog so much… wanted to show some appreciation!
October 15, 2012 @ 10:23 am
THANK YOU. Normally the blog awards make me feel pressured into unwanted responsibility. (Mostly because I have trouble separating real responsibility from things that happen on the Internet.)
But I see how you handled your “acceptance post,” and that seems doable. Although, geez people gave you a lot of awards.
October 15, 2012 @ 9:32 am
I think you deserve that handbag right now.
October 15, 2012 @ 10:23 am
Right? So sad Paul does not consider page views as tokens towards something fancy.