Bath Remodel: Before and After.
The bathroom remodel took at least three times as long as it should have.
Possibly four. Possibly nine.
My decision-making process was gruesomely slow and drove Paul to the brink of madness.
I mean that. Not in an exaggerated way. But in a very accurate way. It made him crazy that he could not force me to pick a tile, a grout, lights, faucets, a sink, towel bars, a shower dial thing…
But? In my quest for the perfect bathroom / making my husband crazy? I win.
Behold.
Starting this bathroom renovation was a giant step forward.
AND a giant step backwards.
It meant we finally got rid of the absolutely hideous old bathroom.
But it also meant another disaster right in the center of the house.
And it came at a time when I’D HAD ENOUGH. Enough mess. Enough disaster. Enough of junk piled everywhere and plastic drop cloths and dirt. Enough of feeling like this house had eaten my life and my husband and my sanity.
Not that it mattered. Because when you’re living in a construction site, you don’t get to say—oh, la la la… no more mess today. You do get to feel like your hair is on fire and your teeth are being electrocuted with stress and irritation– all of your own making.
That’s the bathroom, on the left. I know. Don’t be jealous.
This? This color/ mess/ disaster/ hovel… makes you kind of sad for me?
Well. We lived with this for FAR longer than most people would tolerate.
Way, way, way longer.
That should imply that I am patient and above material comforts. But instead means that I spent two years alternately lying on the floor in exhausted misery or cursing the delusion I had– of how we would move in and fix things in an organized and timely fashion.
A novice fantasy on my part– induced by house blogs written by couples so fresh and cheerful and never coming to blows. Where there is no mention of how your house might actually kill you.
It took us two years to get to this bathroom… two years of constant, renovation-related chaos. Two years of never-ending projects and demolition and banging and scraping and ripping out and repairing and basically living in a dumpster.
Two years worth of indoctrination for me—into all of the ways I had failed to understand the meaning of construction. And two years of indoctrination into how I married a machine.
Prior to this house, I had met Project Paul. But I hadn’t comprehended the extent of his amazing superpower—where he goes and lives in an alternate universe known as Project Outer Space.
Where he wears a protective spacesuit that insulates against anything that distracts from his noble and unimpeachable pursuit to finish this house.
A logistical impasse for me… Because when your project-partner claims for himself the mantle of irreproachable-construction-righteousness? You get the other role: project-irritant-and-captain-of-work-stoppage.
A role I have played with undying fervor and dedication. Never having a sick day or calling in my understudy. I have been out there, onstage, every night without fail. Whether the audience likes me or not.
It’s important to say that Paul wanted me to join him in his project spaceship. In fact, there was nothing he wanted more.
But only if I sat quietly and did not ask to drive.
Plus, it was incredibly crowded with both of us in there. Especially since I needed to bring so much stuff—all of my precise, exacting wishes. All of my refusal to compromise. All of my need for shiny fanciful things that I conjured out of my head without consideration of time/effort/feasibility/cost/practicality…
All of my endless indecision and endless research and endless debating and endless discussing… All of my endless meticulousness requiring him to triangulate the alignment of the moon and the sun and the position of the toilet.
Paul sees a project as a list, a layout, a timeline, an excel spreadsheet.
And I see it as a mystical destination to be arrived at by fairy dust and magic.
Mysteriously? This has not been a seamless working relationship.
It’s mysterious because I CANNOT UNDERSTAND how anyone fails to appreciate the necessity of fairy dust.
A month ago, when I wrote about our front porch stain debacle, I said that this house had killed my aesthetic martyr. But in revisiting this bathroom renovation, I realize this was the specific project that did it.
I cared so much about every detail… and there were so many of them.
This bathroom, for me, brought out some kind of religious fervor… An exhaustive dedication to my ideal design.
I spent entire months of my life immersed in tile. And grout. And crown molding. And toilets and sinks and faucets. And searching for my ideal, giant medicine cabinet. And then designing our own.
In retrospect, the amount of time I spent thinking about marble vs. porcelain tile, and water shutoffs, and faucet handles… is utterly stupid.
Utterly. Stupid.
However, I have a high appreciation for my own stupidity. Because now that it’s all over? It kind of looks like it was worth it.
I love you, subway tile. I love you, shiny porcelain. I love you, giant mirror. I love you, crown molding. I love you, chrome. I love you, transom window.
I love you heated floor. I love you, giant medicine cabinet. I love you faux marble tile that does not make me nine kinds of OCD.
I love you, bathroom. I especially love that you are finished.
Related posts:
- Want to know where I got my fixtures? Here’s the list of bathroom design details.
- Looking for something else? Here’s an index of all the posts about the bathroom remodel.
Laurel
November 8, 2012 @ 4:47 pm
I too find myself swept up in the constantly positive super perky upsides of DIY projects that Young House Love portrays. It makes me feel like a bad person when I’m cursing at my husband under my breath for getting mad at me for spending all day trying to find the right light fixture or making a mess with drywall all over the carpet. Glad to hear that I’m not the only one driven to near madness with every project, yet constantly being drawn back in to start another.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 9, 2012 @ 7:30 pm
It’s like a public service I offer—the DIY antihero.
Also? Why are light fixtures SO hard to choose. And? What did people do before the Internet??? What did they do before they could search constantly, at all hours, for the one perfect elusive fixture.
I do think the attention to detail makes a huge difference in the end result. But sometimes I genuinely feel like it’s taken over my life—and that feels ridiculous.
Tammy
November 10, 2012 @ 12:03 pm
Even though I am a huge fan of color, you’ve brightened it up so much! Love the subway tile.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 11, 2012 @ 8:44 am
Thank you so much! I love the subway tile too.
I’ve considered a bolder color a couple of times in this house, but I think the extreme color choices of the previous owner have been like aversion therapy!!
David
November 10, 2012 @ 4:47 pm
That’s a beautiful bathroom remodel.
When I saw that big window, I was wondering if your bathroom was originally another room before it was converted into one.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 11, 2012 @ 8:46 am
Thank you! Yes, you’re probably right. The house was built in 1890. So the room may not originally have been a bath… and even if it was, it probably would have originally had just a tub, not a shower…
SJPBF
November 15, 2012 @ 10:56 am
I’m looking forward to your source post! And I love the dynamic between you and your hubs. I had the same dynamic with my GC for my 203(k) reno, but without the committed marriage relationship underneath. That may explain why he burned asphalt when he left the house today. 😉
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 15, 2012 @ 1:52 pm
LOL!! I wish there was a “like” button for comments.
I’m torn between thinking Paul would be more sympathetic to my quest for magic if I were paying him to fix this house. His personality is such that I suspect no amount of money would make him enjoy sharing this process with me.
projectbuddy
November 16, 2012 @ 9:01 pm
The giant mirrors in the corner like that…pure genius! What a great way to make the space seem larger!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 17, 2012 @ 8:25 am
The room is fairly narrow, and the large mirrors make it feel twice as large. It really isn’t an exaggeration to say it doesn’t even feel like the same size room!!
thesalonierresapartments
November 28, 2012 @ 12:09 pm
Love the remodelled bathroom! That Kohler tap is AMAZING and going on my wish list!!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 28, 2012 @ 1:04 pm
Thank You! I saw that shower fixture in an old Victorian hotel… it blended in so perfectly with their vintage theme. It lived in my head for three years before we got around to our bath… it was literally the ONLY thing that did not make me crazy to pick out!
Danielle
January 28, 2013 @ 3:34 pm
I found the Kohler Ceramic Dial Plate K-146-0… What is the chrome part number or name? Thank you!!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
January 28, 2013 @ 4:27 pm
Hey Danielle,
I’m putting together a source list, and I still have to look up where I bought mine… and what I paid, but here is an Amazon link: http://amzn.to/X4noaz
I didn’t pay that price, but I cannot remember what I did pay… also, I had wanted a different style handle: http://amzn.to/X9Ocbh
For reasons I’ll explain in a post, I ended up with the lever… also, if you buy online, just be sure ALL the pieces you need are included… I saw some that were kind of deceptive in their description.
Best of luck with your project!!
Danielle
January 28, 2013 @ 7:12 pm
Okay!! Thank you so much! I can’t wait to see all of your sources. Great job on your house thus far! It is beautiful and totally my style! I, too am having trouble picking a carrara tile that isn’t actual marble.. I would like tile placed diagonally, 18×18 square or larger honed with two rows of polished mosaics all in between. I saw this picture (http://pinterest.com/pin/243968504785826161/) and it’s gorgeous! I love your pick though!! Thrilled to continue to follow your projects.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
January 29, 2013 @ 8:37 am
Umm? How is it that I missed using some floor jewelry? The small, pearly tiles in the pinterest photo are lovely!! That also looks like a nice honed tile… a lot of the honed options I looked at had a slightly textured surface, which I didn’t like. The one in the photo looks perfect… although I guess they don’t tell you the manufacturer.
Danielle
January 29, 2013 @ 6:00 pm
Haha- I don’t know but trust me, yours is perfect. And yes, the tile is beautiful. No they don’t say what it is, but I’m sure it is the real thing anyway. Have not started my adventure to the tile stores yet..
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
January 31, 2013 @ 10:11 am
I have to say I started to feel like my “adventures” to the tile stores turned into something worthy of a movie… An action adventure flick with a really terrible villain. Maybe—Die Hard goes to the tile store. Good luck!!
Becky
January 30, 2013 @ 8:21 pm
Stunning! Simply stunning! I am in nine kinds of love with that Kohler fixture. This was worth the time and the intensity.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
January 31, 2013 @ 10:13 am
Thanks! I kind of feel like now we *have* to move again… so I can benefit from knowing exactly what I want to use!
Alex - Old Town Home
February 6, 2013 @ 4:01 pm
Hey, I found you through the Homies and I have to say, I’m not so sure how we’ve survived this long without knowing about you and your blog/home/obsessive nature regarding hardware and finish selection. My wife and I are the exact same way. Renovations take exponentially longer than any normal person would feel is appropriate, and then it takes longer beyond that. We agonize over important stuff, like polished nickel vs chrome, and even more important stuff, like wondering if the grout caulk we used that was 1 shade lighter than our normal grout is too white and if it might cause visitors to think less of us as people. Ultimately, we just want a house that is comfortable, beautiful, better than anything we could have ever imagined, and induces jaw drops among our family and friends who can’t believe we’ve done these things ourselves, all for as little money as we feel like spending. Is that asking too much? I think not. Anyhow, we’ll be back often and will surely follow along on your adventure. As owners of an 1886-ish Victorian row house, we know your excitement. And as someone who has had a single room’s renovation take one, two, perhaps three plus years, we feel your pain. I’m glad we found your blog.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
February 6, 2013 @ 5:01 pm
This comment made me feel calm. And normal. And absolutely JUSTIFIED. To have chosen to spend my time with Google, rather than real live people. Or dedicated to solving world hunger.
You are my soulmates. Or. You would be if I could get over my transom envy… I was enjoying your bedroom post… scrolling along… approving of your wall color and your cat… and then I was derailed by your transoms. The world is cruel. The internet always finds a way to show you the ONE thing you most want, and remind you of how if you’d just spent another year planning and looking and obsessing… you could have thought of it.
Also, I hate to tell you this: but we’ve all been snickering about your one-off grout shade. Such a shame.
Julie
February 14, 2013 @ 10:35 am
Hi — we had an exchange about your fabulous toilet, yesterday. I’m the lady with the five kids. I forgot to mention that I homeschool, so they’re WITH me, all day long, every day. Forgive me for commenting on this post, and not continuing the conversation on the toilet post.
I want to just give you some love: A. Your writing is hilarious and great! B. When it comes to the curse of having an opinion, and not just AN opinion, but a STRONG one, about EVERYTHING, I feel your pain. I WISH I could just NOT care what the vanity looks like. I have many more important things to care about. Don’t worry, I even stronger opinions about those things, but oy! It makes life hard. I sympathize, sister! Okay — back to my life.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
February 14, 2013 @ 12:29 pm
That’s quite an undertaking—homeschooling five! Your kids are incredibly lucky to have you!! (That’s the ultimate strong opinion. 🙂 )
I have been surprised by the depth of my caring about details… although I really shouldn’t have been, since like you point out—I have opinions about everything else, why not toilets as well…
Thanks for reading and commenting. And mostly for relating… having total strangers “get you” and find you funny is an unusually rewarding experience.
Mary Kay
April 10, 2013 @ 1:18 pm
I came for the island and stayed for the bathroom.
During a ‘DIY kitchen island’ Google image search, a sad little island with shims and 2 x 4’s caught my eye (not in a good way…but I’m sure she has a great personality). Finally after clicking on a few of the pictured islands, curiosity got the better of me and I just had to see the creative force behind that ‘island beauty’. After clicking on her link, I had absolutely no clue what was going to happen next…Dant, dant, Dan-ta…I fell in love. Who would’da ever thought that while attempting to raise my building self esteem, I would find the bathroom of my dreams? Simply beautiful…LOVE LOVE LOVE every last detail. When we start our bathroom, I will be referring to your bathroom often (after we finish our kitchen…so in approximately 23 years, 7 months, 12 days, 9 hours and 52 minutes). Thanks for sharing! ADORE IT!!!!
Mary Kay
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
April 11, 2013 @ 8:18 pm
Your comment made me laugh so hard. I’m glad to know the island is a shining beacon of… something? Standing out from all the not-cobbled together countertops… setting itself apart from islands with same-size drawers and whatnot… I imagine we may still be debating kitchen layout by the time you’re done yours in the next century or so…
THANKS for the bath complements!!! I almost feel like we need to move again so I can do an entire bath, having ALREADY made every decision… it would be the ultimate luxury.
Alyson
May 2, 2013 @ 3:13 am
Hi, this is one lovely bathroom!!!! I love the tile, color of the wall, even the door and door knob. Medicine cabinet looks great, too. I have three small full 70s style bathroom to be remodeled in the future. They are all in different colors: one in calm pink/blue, one in yellow/blue, one in purple/blue. 🙂 For now, I have no idea where to start- we have recently bought this old house, maybe younger than yours.
I have recently joined your Blog and enjoy it a lot. Good luck to you and wish me good luck too. 🙂
P.S) Can I ask what color is it? the pale yellow on your bathroom wall? We painted my boys room with similar color though.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
May 2, 2013 @ 12:40 pm
Hey, thanks! Nice to “meet” you!
Paint is Behr… I think it’s “eggnog” but we don’t have an empty can in the house so it could be eggshell? Or something egg-related.
You have my full sympathy for going into three bath remodels… ugh. Hopefully the first one will be duplicated with fixtures/style, so you don’t have to choose three different tiles/styles/designs!! Good luck!! There really is nothing nicer than a brand new bathroom!
Dria @ Dio
June 4, 2013 @ 8:40 pm
Your bathroom is stunning, I absolutely love your sink I’ve been pining over sinks like this for years!! You did a beautiful job 🙂
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
June 7, 2013 @ 11:33 am
Thanks so much! I was in charge of the hard part– picking stuff out!
Xenia
June 8, 2013 @ 7:51 am
OMG, I am just discovering your blog. Your bathroom renovation is BEAUTIFUL! I love your house. I live in a Queen Anne Victorian Brownstone that I bought after it had been vacant for 12 years. You can imagine my renovation nightmares…LOL
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
June 9, 2013 @ 6:00 pm
Oh… I can IMAGINE!
Also, I was going to comment on another of your posts, but I have to figure out how to edit my name… I was going to tell you on your faux-wedding post that I once referenced someone that had a less than ZERO chance of reading what I said about them… and they found my blog a few weeks later… I have no idea if they read that specific thing, but still.
Jocie@OPC The Better Half
June 21, 2013 @ 3:54 pm
wow, so so pretty and clean looking! I understand you on the procrastination – when I was pregnant with my oldest we tore out the carpet to lay our own hardwoods on the entire first floor and it took us a year!!! it was almost the death of our marriage! lol.
pinning now and sharing on FB next week.
Thanks so much for linking up in support of Habitat! Good luck and hope to see you back next week.
Brandi
July 5, 2013 @ 11:27 pm
I love the bathroom!! We have a 1920s house with an incredibly small bathroom that we have repainted three times in six months! We’re still not happy with it, and it’s driving me insane. Actually, so is the rest of the house. I’m hoping your blog posts will inspire me!
Linda Montgomery
July 10, 2013 @ 10:34 am
I cannot tell you how happy this post has made me. It was as if you had transported yourself on your magic unicorn and come to my house to witness how it is…really is!! I loved you before but I ADORE you now. I think this statement will possibly make you as happy as I am right now. I have copied this post and am sending it to my Dan who is residing in Project Outerspace as I write this. He will likely read this and then I will be transported into Project Doghouse. Sigh. My work is never done. Know that I am watching and learning. In short you are my hero!
Kristin
August 1, 2013 @ 3:04 pm
Without success, I’ve scoured your blog for which exact subway tile you used in your bathroom. Can you please share?
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
August 2, 2013 @ 12:49 pm
Loews… it was the only shade that went with all three totally different whites of the tub, toilet, and sink. I looked at ones with fancier molding, but in the end hated that they were so noticeably different from the fixtures.
Susan Jablon
November 9, 2013 @ 6:40 am
When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox
and now each time a comment is added I get several emails with the samee comment.
Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
Appreciate it!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 9, 2013 @ 7:10 am
Hi, I don’t know why you would get multiple emails… But this tech stuff is really beyond my understanding!!!
You SHOULD get two responses notifying you of THIS comment. One will be a “comment reply notification.” That is a plug-in that I use specific only to my own comments. You cannot unsubscribe from that one.
However, you should also get an email from WordPress, (that is the service that you subscribed to). And in that email, you should be able to unsubscribe. (I have no control over that.)
Also, just to be sure, are you sure this is the post you are getting comments on? It doesn’t look like anyone has commented recently… And I assume that you were prompted to ask about being removed because of something recent?
Catherine
November 13, 2013 @ 9:49 am
Hey! I’m new to your blog. And have to tell you that I’ve married another creature from Project Outer Space. He has his own spacesuit and spaceship. And while our house isn’t as old, it was…is..in bad need of renovation. That we are tackling one project at a time. Slowly. Very slowly. I seem to have lost my pot of fairy dust, though…being lost in space as I am.