146 Comments

  1. Peggy Tee
    October 7, 2012 @ 11:08 pm

    This made me giggle madly. I’m sorry to hear about the drama of it all, but at least it has resulted in excellent writing material!

    PS: The porch looks great! Don’t sweat a stain.

    Reply

  2. notquiteold
    October 8, 2012 @ 8:59 am

    Oh been there. And after a while the sun will darken it anyway…..

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 8, 2012 @ 10:21 am

      That’s what I’m counting on—weather. It made the previous finish nondescript… so I’m sure you’re right.

      Reply

  3. asoulwalker
    October 8, 2012 @ 9:34 am

    I found myself wanting to laugh the entire time while reading this… but I could not, it just wasn’t funny. I wanted it to be… but instead I just felt like I wanted to explode. It reminded me of a time I hung a bear skin rug on the wall and it took 3 hours. Now I’m pissed off… and I don’t even know you.

    Oh, and congratulations on being freshly pressed.

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 8, 2012 @ 4:39 pm

      Like you, I mostly wanted to explode that day… In retrospect, and while writing it, I was surprised by how funny I found it.

      Thanks for the congratulations!! My fifteen minutes are almost up!
      p.s.- possibly anything that takes three hours to hang, actually just wants to go on the floor…

      Reply

  4. asoulwalker
    October 8, 2012 @ 9:36 am

    The last two pictures look gorgeous by the way.

    Reply

  5. Eri Berry
    October 8, 2012 @ 9:48 am

    Oh! I love how particular you are about floor stain colors!

    Congrats on the great floor job. 🙂

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 8, 2012 @ 4:40 pm

      Perhaps you can sway Paul to your appreciation for the finer points of being overly particular… He doesn’t share your perspective. 🙂

      Reply

  6. Courtney
    October 8, 2012 @ 10:54 am

    This made me laugh because my husband and I have been there, but our nemesis was the hardwood floor in the living room of our first house. We ended up having to do the floors twice before we were happy with them. That was an entire weekend wasted.

    We’ve recently started construction on a house (a first for us) and I have a feeling it’s going to make both of us crazy before we’re done with it.

    Your porch did turn out beautifully though. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 8, 2012 @ 4:43 pm

      I winced at the idea of redoing your floors… doing them once is a headache. I don’t know what twice is.

      In some ways I think building a house would be fantastic… you get everything just the way you want it, rather than working around whatever is already in place. BUT you’re also the decider for *everything*. And that’s a huge job. Good luck! I’m sure you’ll love the end result!

      Reply

  7. Tracy Greene
    October 8, 2012 @ 11:00 am

    That made me cry!! But truly, it looks nice. Might not have been what you wanted, but yes, the Casino Analogy was worth all of your trouble.

    Reply

  8. Michele McGovern
    October 8, 2012 @ 11:35 am

    This post is only slightly less awesome than your porch. Holy cow! Gorgeous!!

    Reply

  9. Stacey
    October 8, 2012 @ 2:04 pm

    CONGRATS on FP, VIctoria! Welcome to the madness. Enjoy your day and please don’t respond to this… you’ve got to be exhausted. FP is a lot like renovation…. maddening, exciting, tiring, and may even bring tears. Have fun!

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 9, 2012 @ 7:06 am

      Looks like my fame and good fortune are winding down… I was worried I might start demanding my own dressing room and an entourage… but I’ve kind of calmed down.

      Reply

  10. lucindalines
    October 8, 2012 @ 5:26 pm

    For all of that, we stained our deck white. At first my husband was a bit miffed that we “ruined” good wood with something that looked like paint. Now we love it. Your deck looks great by the way. Time and weather ages and changes all stains so just enjoy the time outside in what looks like a great space.

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 9, 2012 @ 7:08 am

      I’m sure the white is lovely. And bright too, which is so nice… Besides, “ruining” good wood is a wife’s prerogative…

      I had looked at those colored stain options. I was dubious that they could cover the wood in a smooth, even finish… But recently I finally saw it in person and I was amazed how nice the end product was.

      Reply

  11. Tammy
    October 8, 2012 @ 11:59 pm

    Dare I say that you’ll look back and laugh? I’ve so been in this situation and promise, you will.

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 9, 2012 @ 8:01 am

      Writing the post, I was actually surprised to find it funny. Not like, the funniest thing ever… and certainly the kind of humor I can live without. But still…

      Reply

  12. saffy3000
    October 9, 2012 @ 3:30 am

    Haha love this, sounds just like me and my husband, we just did our lounge floor!!! Love your sense of humour in your writing, porch looks great!

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      October 9, 2012 @ 11:22 am

      You can relate then. Isn’t it nice to finish a project? Even if it doesn’t go to plan, just being finished is so rewarding!

      Reply

  13. vyvacious
    November 6, 2012 @ 2:08 pm

    Now I’m scared to own a house and have a husband.

    😛

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      November 7, 2012 @ 9:33 am

      Lol… Well, I guess like any long term project… things can get a little maddening. Or a lot. 🙂

      Reply

  14. frankeeg
    November 13, 2012 @ 3:12 pm

    Rule number one when restoring and or decorating a house. Do not under any circumstances try to select and or use paint, stain, varnish, wallpaper, carpet etc as a joint project with your wife/husband/partner. The chances of ever agreeing are reduced by 50% immediately. Good luck with the rest of the house. My simple solution is to let my wife decide on such things then I have to learn to live with the result. If it was the other way round she would never learn to live with my choices. Simple, figure out who would learn to live with the result and let the other person choose.Good luck with the rest of the house.

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      November 13, 2012 @ 8:44 pm

      That is excellent advice. And generally how we do it… I am the picker, he is the doer. A better deal for me, than for him.

      In this case, I really didn’t like any of the limited choices I had that afternoon. I don’t think Paul loved them either, but his scales are calibrated differently than mine. Getting it done is equivalent to what color we use. Whereas mine are totally weighted on the color side…

      Reply

  15. charliekaycheyenne
    November 18, 2012 @ 7:12 am

    Reblogged this on Charlie Kay Cheyenne Home Repair and commented:
    Refinishing hardwood flooring is an extreme learning experience, and not one I would recommend to anyone. Here is one couples” experiences.

    Reply

  16. Margaret
    April 7, 2013 @ 8:46 pm

    Great reading! Thank u for ur experience. I will now go with mesmers, the oil based version and hire out! Wow, that made for an easy decision.

    Reply

  17. Margaret
    April 13, 2013 @ 11:45 am

    Hi. Is that tongue & grove ipe and how long has it been installed? I’m curious as to how well the stain/finish holds up with PA winter weather. Thanks

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      April 13, 2013 @ 3:05 pm

      I’m just remembering that I owed you a response a few days ago!!! Work has been crazy, and my email is out of control!

      Yes, tongue and groove… I would say that it’s held up about as well as can be expected. The areas that get full sun are quickly deteriorated, and the finish wears off quickly. I talked to a few pros prior to our porch project, and they all warned that no matter what… weather/sun will beat it up… edges that are most exposed are showing weathering, whereas close to house looks brand new.

      It was not cared for before we bought the house, so maybe it would be in better shape if it had been taken care of all along… and maintained better, but I really don’t know.

      Reply

  18. Hardwood Floors Petaluma
    June 19, 2013 @ 5:27 pm

    This was a hilarious post! But after all your troubles, the wood still looks amazing!

    Reply

  19. Naomi J
    July 23, 2013 @ 7:37 pm

    Is it weird that I really really like the color variation? It looks cool. But then again, photos tend to make a lot of things look better than in real life. Perhaps as it weathers it will grow on you? Or as it has been nearly a year since you posted this post, perhaps it already has 😀

    Reply

  20. Meghan
    July 30, 2013 @ 10:57 am

    “Where you both actually have the SAME EXACT frustration, but are completely unable to stand its manifestation in the other person.”

    Love this! Spent the last week looking for an apartment to move into in a city we know nothing about and live 2 hours from… Ran into this once or twice. Or thrice.

    Reply

  21. Vicky
    August 16, 2013 @ 9:53 am

    Don’t you just hate it when after so much stress and planning it just isn’t quite right. I think it is beautiful but I am not the one that has to LOVE IT. I think you should put a sign on the front lawn: “The shutters are NOT black” and carry on.

    Reply

  22. Rose L.
    August 17, 2013 @ 12:01 pm

    Oh, Victoria, please forgive me this late late comment but it’s my first visit. I laughed until I cried and then I called my significant other in here to read the casino bit and he laughed until he almost cried. Then…I jumped on his lap totally out of control because for the first time I felt like I am a normal woman. Because it must be the same with every well adjusted couple that we just can not see things eye to eye and I am finally not guilty of being out of whack (or a whack job). God bless you dear woman, you have freed me to be me! LOL!

    Reply

  23. AnnieC
    September 7, 2013 @ 12:28 pm

    “The porch flooring is IPE or Brazilian hardwood… or something I do not really understand. If you do, good for you, but please do not try to explain it to me because I no longer care.”

    That statement made me laugh out loud simply because I’ve been there one too many times. I now feel much better knowing other couples go thru the same scenarios when it comes to construction/remodeling. Thanks……….what a talent you have!

    Reply

  24. noreen
    May 27, 2014 @ 3:31 pm

    i really loved this post and could relate. i spent five years without doorknobs… including the toilet.. because i just couldnt find the perfect one which lived in my head.
    my daughter was seven before she knew how to use one. I too have got over it… more or less

    Reply

  25. George Kane
    January 21, 2015 @ 9:21 am

    I am so grateful to go through all these. All staining posts are fabulous. Thanks for sharing all these.

    Reply

  26. Kelli
    July 13, 2016 @ 3:26 am

    Okay. I’m very late to this party, but I just had to tell you…
    Your porch is gorgeous and you and I could be soul mates based on the focus on the most minute of details and thinking, thinking, and over thinking of said details…
    BUT… what prompted me to actually comment is that it is 2:30 a.m., and I probably just woke at least one family member up laughing hysterically at your description of your reaction to your hub’s bad mood. You could be describing me!! By the time you got to buying the Chanel purse, I was literally in tears!
    I will go down with the ship, and I’ll take you down with me before I give in. Haha! Age and 20 years of marriage has mellowed me *somewhat*… but, oh my… I’ve had my moments… especially in the DIY department.

    Reply

  27. Jessica
    February 28, 2017 @ 4:46 pm

    I know this is an old post and it probably pains your soul to revisit the reminiscent tale of the stain debacle but I must ask- What didn’t you like about the honey teak color? It seems the perfect brown to me but I love your taste and appeal so wanted your brain thoughts 😉

    Reply

  28. Cenepk10
    September 25, 2017 @ 11:42 am

    That is why I always use a clear wood stain and let the wood speak. Your porch is glorious and I peed my pants laughing at this tale. Love your blog.

    Reply

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