I am only one yard sale away from an episode of hoarders.
Every fall, our neighborhood has a town-wide yard sale. I wake up that morning feeling like I have been injected with pure meth: excited. I love being able to roll out of bed, walk out the front door, and start yardsale-ing RIGHT AWAY… no traveling, no wasted time, no waiting.
It’s not unusual for me to be one or two houses ahead of Paul because I like to yardsale FAST… I have anxiety that other people are beating me to the good stuff, so I try to go twice as fast as everyone else.
Paul on the other hand, likes to talk to the neighbors and his leisurely, garden-party-mentality makes me insane… This is not a social event. This is war. Someone will win, I would like it to be me.
Some years I get something really fantastic. Like a four-tier barrister bookcase for $30… Is it in pristine condition? No. But it’s totally intact and at 2-feet distance, it looks perfect.
Some years I don’t get anything big or notable but I always come away with a good combination of smaller things: dishes, vintage jewelry… crap I do not need but cannot leave behind… stuff Paul tries to talk me out of but fails.
Last year that category was occupied by these Victrola boxes. When I asked how much, the guy said– one is $5… but you can have the other two for free.
Clearly, a bargain.
Finding broken-useless-stuff makes me kind of manic. So my thought process was– for five dollars, why would we not buy these?
Paul said – so that we have five dollars, instead of a pile of junk?
I was like– umm… nope.
Paul said– well, why don’t you just get one? Then, if you find that you NEED three, you can get more.
And I was like– right, you must be confusing me with your other wife. She sounds great.
Besides, I explained – just getting one doesn’t make any sense. We need to get them all… So that I can store them in the garage along with all of the other things I have bought that I will never refinish or repair or do ANYTHING with… but pretend I will so that you cannot throw them away.
See all my other salvaged junk treasures.
April 3, 2014 @ 4:44 am
My neighborhood also has a yearly garage sale event but I do not allow anyone to go with me…they slow me down and they may see something I wanted first…does that make me a bad person? 🙂
April 8, 2014 @ 12:44 am
Ya know I have noticed for a Blogger you don’t blog very much-I’m NOT complaining because your posts are always worth reading but the paucity of posts has led me to the sneaking suspicion that you have an actual life outside of this alternate Universe of nonsense, drivel, and rare brilliance-you fall into the latter category–blatant flattery I know but my honest opinion. any hoo now I must imagine you and Paul dancing the night away at the Copa? instead of dedicating your every waking moment to witty, wise writing. Oh well I can always dust or vacuum-if I could find the darn thing, Please for Gawd sakes write something-soon!
January 20, 2015 @ 8:38 pm
OMGoodness, you have got to be my twin, your shopping strategy mirrors mine exactly! Our thought processes are marvelous, I just wanted to say Cheers! Sister, yardsale, and auction on!!!!!
March 8, 2016 @ 11:00 am
Not to be a super creeper, but when and what town is this amazing yard sale held in?
January 24, 2017 @ 5:11 pm
I have so shared this, you must be my upcycle twin! My poor long suffering hubby is also called Paul and we have just had one of those moments – him rolling his eyes and my innocent puppy dog look dissolving into fits of laughter! Thank you 🙂