Once upon a time. Craigslist. The end… *video*
While watching yet another stranger enter our home and cart off some of our belongings, Paul said – I finally figured it out: that bookcase is clogs.
He is referencing a story that my parents love to tell:
Shortly before I turned four years old, my parents took me into a shop where I saw a pair of child-sized clogs… and with the conviction of Napoleon building his empire, I knew that THESE WERE MY CLOGS. And when my parents tried to leave the store WITHOUT MY CLOGS, they couldn’t. It was impossible.
They have difficulty putting into words, how a four-year-old child could be uncontrollable between two full-sized adults… and knowing my parents, I’m sure they told themselves this was evidence of my tenacity of spirt; not an indication that they had raised Satan himself.
I refused to leave the store, and eventually my parents were forced to show me that actually, they HAD bought the clogs. They were a surprise for my birthday.
Immediately, Satan retreated and I skipped out of the store.
Then I was fine waiting for the clogs… I would ask— how many days until my clogs? But I was ok, because I knew THEY WERE MINE. Then, once I got the clogs I wore them all of the time, even while sleeping.
I tell you this story to explain that I have an incredibly high capacity for liking something… long past anyone else’s tolerance or understanding.
When I like something, I LIKE IT. And I do not need to like anything else. And there is no chance that I will forget about the liking. And there is no chance I will move on from the liking.
Rather, I will devote all of my time and energy to liking it, EVEN WHILE I AM ASLEEP.
I first showed Paul this bookcase four months ago. He actually laughed out loud.
Then he looked at me seriously and tapped my forehead, three-inches above my eyebrow.
He said – this is where the horns come out.
Then he walked away.
I decided this was his endorsement; because if you know about my plan and you do not crush it wholeheartedly and with all of your force, and then present to me the carcass of my dreams, you must be in agreement.
With that cleared up, I was able to move forward.
I have done nothing but think, talk, and plan compulsively, for getting this bookcase.
For months, Paul has listened to me speak of nothing else.
My interest has not dulled or waned.
Rather, it has intensified.
As promised, I have sold all of our belongings… a simple trade: everything we own, in exchange for one single item of magnificence.
The problem with this particular magnificence was that it was several states away… I said this bookcase was in Arkansas (this was my decoy)… but it wasn’t.
I am sorry that I lied to you, but I was afraid that someone would go and buy what is rightfully mine.
This is one of the things I learned while working at the CIA: obfuscation.
My bookcase was in Cleveland.
Out of all the 900 possible issues, the biggest challenge was this: the inability to know FOR SURE if the bookcase came apart.
If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you will remember that every single one of these massive pieces of furniture dismantled down to nearly nothing and fit in the back of a minivan:
1. the portal to Narnia.
2. the Victorian bookcase.
3. the Empire cabinet.
On the other hand, it was equally possible that it wouldn’t come apart… in which case, we are moving a monstrous, solid piece of furniture that is nearly 150 years old and has three original glass doors.
Which is exactly what happened.
Now that it’s all over, I can admit this:
I assumed something would go horribly wrong, and I kept this certainty to myself.
Because I wouldn’t be there.
So it wouldn’t be my problem.
Last weekend, Paul drove to Cleveland. With my father. Without me. To load a truck with a 9’ tall, 6’ wide bookcase that I had only seen pictures of. While I stayed home, read up on Gilded Age mansion history, and brushed Elvis.
The plan:
1. Paul and my dad drive from Philadelphia directly to see bookcase.
2. determine if it comes apart = dictates size of truck Paul rents.
3. go to truck rental and reserve a truck for the following morning.
4. spend the evening with my cousin who lives in Cleveland.
5. pick up the truck first thing in the morning.
6. load the bookcase.
7. Paul drives truck home, Dad continues his trip to Indiana.
8. Paul is exempt from any wrongdoing for the rest of his existence.
9. my life is complete, I can stop looking on Craigslist, shut down my blog, and live a life of quiet solitude with my things.
I’ll end this post by acknowledging that I know what you are thinking:
HOW DID PAUL GET SO LUCKY IN LIFE?
No? That’s not what you are thinking?
I too was confused… so I asked him – WHY would you do this for me?
And he said – is it not a reasonable explanation that I love you and I want you to be happy?
Which sounds nice, doesn’t it? Except – no, I am really not that lovable.
If I evaluate myself honestly, I have very few redeeming qualities; most of which aren’t remotely valuable to anyone else and involve an appreciation for absurdly flamboyant and unnecessary situations… with extra points if costumes are involved.
So I don’t have a good answer, and I know I will get some comments in the vein of: Paul is a saint… and I’d like to point out that the logical progression to that suggestion is that I am his path to canonization.
April 13, 2016 @ 1:42 pm
Does Paul have a Brother? 😉 Just askin’
April 13, 2016 @ 2:15 pm
Absolutely beautiful piece Victoria! See you in the fall 😉
April 13, 2016 @ 5:06 pm
Because You. Are. The. Cutest .Thing. Ever. Except for Elvis maybe.
April 13, 2016 @ 9:23 pm
I agree with Princess Buttercup and Katie; I so knew #9 was not gonna happen else too many of us who live vicariously thru you would be crushed! And OMG, Paul said he retrieved GFTs for you just because he loves you and wants you happy?! You absolutely ROCK, and I am sooooo jealous. I need time to recover, but I am sure I will communicate with you again. You write like I think, so you validate me…….Thank You, Thank You (I am doing the little rolling hand/arm thing while bowing to you…..I know you can see me).
April 14, 2016 @ 3:32 am
Victoria,
First, I’m so happy you got your GFT to end all GFTs (or until the next amazing GFT comes along)
I stumbled across one of your blog entries a few weeks ago and have become obsessed. It takes me forever to read a post from you because I click all your links to other posts you’ve written. And then click the links in THOSE posts and so on and so on until I’ve gone off on so many tangents I’ve forgotten which post I started with. Also, because of this, I have NO concept of the chronology of your adventures. But, who cares, because it’s ALL awesome. And I’ve decided you are my soul mate. Or tiny twin separated at birth.
I had my husband read one of your blog posts (Only Idiots Stop To Think…) In the hopes that he would 1) recognize your genius and 2) recognize that since you’re CLEARLY a genius and we think so similarly I must ALSO be a genius and 3) take some comfort in the fact that there are others like me so I must not be as crazy as he (frequently) implies.
Remarkably, that was not his take away. His only responses to your post and my excitement at having found my soul mate were:
“Poor Paul” and “Maybe Paul is my soul mate”
To which I replied “Don’t try to make this about you”
Love you Victoria. Keep writing. I’ll keep reading and trying to puzzle together the timeline.
XOXOXO
April 18, 2016 @ 12:32 am
Victoria (and Leslie),
Can I be a triplet? I stumbled upon your blog about a year ago while procrastinating regarding some of our own old house projects (I felt in a funk and was looking for inspiration to kick me back in gear on our house projects, but really I just found a great way to procrastinate more). I too kept clicking on threads and found myself laughing out loud so many times at reading so many descriptions of myself.
I also shared (forced) my husband to read some posts so that he too could enjoy how brilliant and hilarious you are. My husband only appeared to resonate with Paul.
I recently had a sudden obsession that I needed to acquire a church pew for our foyer. Countless hours were spent on looking for THE pew and when I finally found it, I quickly showed it to my husband. He is usually the voice of reason, but sometimes he sets me off-kilter by quickly jumping on board. The pew was located several hours away and I mentioned that we could save substantially if we (read “he”) drove to pick it up. He agreed that he could make a long day trip of it and I made the arrangements. I wondered and asked WHY he would do this for me and received a similar response to the one you did. I have few redeeming qualities that benefit my husband and his response only confirmed this as I am pretty sure I would NOT make a similar trip for an item he decided HE needed. Thank goodness for our enabling husbands (and our willingness to help them on their path to sainthood)!
Thank you for all of the fabulous posts!
April 14, 2016 @ 1:32 pm
Did you say you worked at the CIA? I can’t tell if you are joking or not, but please tell us if that was really your day job. How absolutely cool. Was that for real??????????
April 14, 2016 @ 1:37 pm
I can neither confirm nor deny…
No, sadly I’m just kidding. I never worked at the CIA.
April 14, 2016 @ 1:55 pm
PLEASE DON’T TELL ME YOU HAD TO SELL THE KINGDOM MIRROR TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN…I MEAN THE BOOKCASE IS BEAUTIFUL , BUT THAT MIRROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 14, 2016 @ 4:38 pm
This is indeed the Greatest Fanciest Thing! Good Work!
It is indeed worth selling all your possessions to get! Amazing!
April 15, 2016 @ 9:59 am
“…the logical progression to that suggestion is that I am his path to canonization.”
April 15, 2016 @ 10:00 am
“…the logical progression to that suggestion is that I am his path to canonization.”
BAHAHAHAHA priceless!!! <3
April 15, 2016 @ 6:03 pm
Victoria – The bookcase is nice and everything, but I LOVE YOUR EARRINGS! They’re beautiful. My birthday is in March and they look like aquamarines. Hmmm…. I’ll have to tell my husband. Do you recall where you bought them?
Just kidding about the bookcase. It’s absolutely gorgeous and fits into the total oeuvre of your wonderful house. Since I live not too far from Arkansas, I was trying to decide if I could find out where your hidden treasure was. Cleveland? You sly girl!
April 16, 2016 @ 9:14 pm
When does Paul’s lecture series bring him to MI? My husband needs to hear his philosophy!
April 18, 2016 @ 3:25 pm
I saw your not-decoy bookcase and basically started crying. THAT, that is BEAUTIFUL. I am so jealous of your great taste and inner-treasure-hunting instinct! I’m serious, you could probably be a professional craigslist shopper (have you tried answering “wanted” ads for a reward? you could find whatever they wanted). Wow!
April 20, 2016 @ 11:06 am
I’ve been a longtime reader/lurker, but this story has delighted me so thoroughly that I just had to comment. What a wonderfully satisfying GFT acquisition! I love it, and I both love and envy your steadfastness and dedication. I wish I knew what I wanted and liked this much! 🙂
April 21, 2016 @ 5:35 pm
OMGolly! You are fabulous! I’ve just found you and am tickled pink, cause that’s just an amazing shade to be! I think many beautiful pieces got left behind on your side of the country, cause we don’t see many here on the Pacific coast. GFTs don’t travel well in covered wagons after all. Lucky duck you are! Love the blog, can’t wait to read more, and yes, your man is on his way to sainthood.
April 22, 2016 @ 8:49 pm
“I too was confused… so I asked him – WHY would you do this for me?
And he said – is it not a reasonable explanation that I love you and I want you to be happy?”
Sweetest lines on your blog, ever 🙂
April 26, 2016 @ 11:23 am
I’m a little nervous you ended with “the end of my hunting on Craigslist and hunting down my blog” bit. I love reading about your house, and you, and Paul!
April 28, 2016 @ 4:05 pm
Smiling and laughing for the entirety of this post. GFT is truly beautiful! You and Paul dancing in the video…total swoon!
April 30, 2016 @ 11:17 pm
I think we may have been separated at birth! I shared your Kingdom Mirror story and my friends and husband agree too. This story totally seals the deal. I too find deep unwaivering love for things…frequently they do involve carved wood pieces and “pointless boxes” according to my husband – I assure you everyone serves a point! Although, I must confess you are way better at sticking with a style and convincing your husband to go pick up huge things (Super eclectic here and my husband applies logic to my crazy purchases – which I have no use for)! Congratulations on achieving this bookcase. It is devine!
July 19, 2016 @ 2:45 pm
I like to remind my ‘long suffering’ husband that my ability for that same deep and abiding love also extends to husbands. It makes dealing with my quirky a little easier to take.