Kitchen FAQ: weird windows, NO HOOD, cooktop in the island?
This post is just facts and boring, so if you are only here for the fancy, save yourself and bail now.
If you missed:
I got another massive mirror… it’s going in the kitchen, so now the previous layout plan is in upheaval because I axed a wall of cabinets to make room.
FAQ #1:
HOW are we going to vent the cooktop now that it is going in the piano island?
Easy!
We’re not!
Here is my post about my pure burning hatred of range hoods and why I am not having one.
Common misconception that it’s a necessity to meet code… some places, sure; but not our township, and besides we are doing induction so there is no “safety” reason for us to vent.
Frying bacon is also not an issue for us because bacon has been classified as a Group 1 carcinogen… Group 1 is: cigarettes and other things we KNOW FOR SURE cause cancer.
I personally need to stay alive as long as possible.
Once I am dead, other people will be allowed to touch my things.
BACK OFF.
FAQ #2: those windows must drive you crazy!
I’m already crazy… maybe that is why I think they are fine?
This is an old house… I do not want to erase the quirks.
Even though I can be particular about symmetry, I am only concerned about the symmetry of the choices I make in this century… However! The above photo really emphasizes the difference; look below, then I will explain more.
The way you enter the kitchen, the smaller window is not in your initial line of sight because of the angle.
The two big windows with the red arrow (above), mirror each other and are identical– so we would not change the big one.
The smaller window is going to be associated with the sink area– the countertop will run into the wall under that window… so the sill cannot be lowered to meet the big one.
I am left with the option of lowering the height of the one that goes all the way to the ceiling; we could bring it down to match the other ones… but that has no appeal for me.
For me, more light > less light… always. Easy decision.
So.
I understand you think it is horrible!
But hopefully, now you better understand the horror!
the mirror will be mounted right up to the ceiling, flush against the wall
Next.
FAQ #3: COOKTOP IN THE ISLAND.
Some all of you felt– WHAT!? BLARGH!! NOOOOOOOO…
I HEAR YOU.
And I’m doing it anyway.
if you missed: we hid the fridge, and our kitchen island is a repurposed antique grand piano.
BUT.
I’ve gone back to insetting the cooktop… there are examples in my first post on induction, at the time, your comments talked me out of it… but now am revisiting.
I’ll explain (far more than you wish to know), once I finish my research… we are DIY-ing the entire countertop AND IT WAS FREE… if something breaks or gets ruined, not a crisis.
FAQ #4: why preserve the mirror but repurpose the piano? also you already have enough mirrors. stop buying mirrors you are stupid.
Important distinction going forward:
I am not collecting mirrors… I’m collecting GIANT CARVED ORNAMENTS FOR MY SOUL… the glass is just white space for the frame– it EMPHASIZES THE FANCY.
I wrote a post about the some 57,000 pianos avaliable on Craigslist any given day… so if you are upset that I “ruined” an antique, would it have been better to let it go to the dump?!
Pianos are plentiful! EVEN THE FANCY ONES! I could go get a FREE antique square grand piano on Craigslist, any day of the week and twice on Sundays… it would be driving and effort! But FREE.
I cannot go anywhere. Ever. For any amount of money. To get a monster visual representation of my soul that is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.
I am still planning to mount the lady head mirror over the sink, but I’m going to need to see her in the space before I can tell how much open shelving I want to crap it up with.
I have another idea for more storage in another location if we need it… I’m going to leave that for my storage post; because it’s not on this wall and doesn’t involve actual kitchen cabinets so is just me hoarding.
ABH— always be hoarding.
FAQ #4: Resale doomsday predictions.
We are not planning to move… but also: in the last few years, MORE THAN ONCE, we have been close to moving to Hawaii.
I am SUPER not into it but Paul would love nothing better, and I don’t want to be the person who ruins his life… so I cannot say what will happen.
Hopefully we don’t move soon.
But if we had to, maybe everyone would hate our kitchen.
That would be unfortunate.
But if I love it.
Maybe someone else will also love it.
Or maybe someone else adds a big range and hood… Wall B is exterior and will be easy to add cabinets and a range and tap right outside for a vent.
Or maybe this is the worst decision we ever make and we rue it until the day we die.
I did mention to Paul– the part about rueing until death.
But he said that he doesn’t think that the best way for us to make decisions, is to ask ourselves what we think other people think we should do.
So this seems to have been decided.
With some kind of logic.
Ok this post is over but.
important public service announcement.
they have made a movie JUST FOR ME.
I would strongly endorse seconds :27 – :40 of the below trailer.
you’re welcome.
but I have dibs on the guy at :35.
BACK OFF
After I watched 57 times, to be SURE that I UNDERSTOOD CORRECTLY, (and then stalked them all over the internet)… there is a Marine training center doing research to create superhuman special ops soldiers… and they JUST EAT PLANTS.
I have packed my bags.
I’ll send a postcard.
lol no I won’t.
It’s been real, yo!
Hopefully, this will be the movie I can hand people when they ask me where I “get” my protein.
I don’t know what people EXPECT me to say… but I know for a fact that they are disappointed when rather than screeching: REGURGITATED UNICORN GLITTER AND WATERMELON!!
I start with a basic overview of what “protein” even IS:
Protein consist of 20 different amino acids.
11 of which are made naturally by the body.
The other 9, are called essential amino acids.
They are all found in plants.
Essential amino acids are also found in meat and dairy BECAUSE THOSE ANIMALS EAT PLANTS… running your amino acids THROUGH ANIMALS before eating them is the very least efficient way of “getting” amino acids.
NOT TO MENTION, you get all of the cholesterol, hormones, pharmaceuticals, AND PESTICIDES… those animals are eating AN INSANE AMOUNT OF PESTICIDES HERBICIDES AND OTHER CRAP THEY FERTILIZE CROPS WITH… 80% of antibiotics used in the USA are GIVEN TO THE ANIMALS WE EAT… this stuff doesn’t DISAPPEAR… it concentrates in their flesh.
OH AND FECES.
Do you know that our government ALLOWS 100% of meat to have fecal contamination?
That sounds totally fine!
And delicious!
By now, people’s eyes have rolled back in their head… and I’m BAFFLED.
The meat and dairy industry has spent AN INSANE AMOUNT OF MONEY to CONVINCE US that we WANT to EAT POOP.
Do you THINK I WANT to type the word POOP on my blog?
I promise you, I DO NOT.
But.
The meat and dairy industry are intentionally DESTROYING FAMILIES.
They KNOW their product kills people.
Should I tell people?
OR WHO CARES THE PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY IS HAPPY TO GIVE US ALL CHOLESTEROL MEDICATION… THE HOSPITALS ARE HAPPY TO TAKE OUR MONEY FOR HEART ATTACKS AND STROKES.
CANCER
DIABETES
DEATH
now I will light myself on fire and have a banana.
with a flourish, VEB
(internet enemy #1)
Gina
May 22, 2018 @ 1:12 pm
I think hood vents are important for people who like to cook/fry/saute MEAT. I think you will be fine without one.
~signed, a meat eater who has/uses/needs a hood vent
p.s. Rock on with your bad self
Red Ellie
May 22, 2018 @ 4:42 pm
Good point Gina!
Jane
May 23, 2018 @ 1:12 am
Hood vents also help remove the steam and moisture from boiling/simmering things. Soups, pasta, canning.
Jen
May 22, 2018 @ 1:17 pm
Have you seen the cooktop vents that can be installed behind the cooktop and “pop up” out of the counter with the push of a button? They are awesome and would be perfect for you Island cooktop!!
Susanne
May 22, 2018 @ 1:58 pm
I love the kitchen design!
I also love meat:) And animals may eat pesticide laden plants, but Vegans/Vegetarians are ALSO eating pesticide covered plants. And don’t get me started on Big Agri wiping out entire areas of natural vegetation by using fungicides, herbicides and pesticides and killing EVERYTHING in order to plant soy, corn, fruits, etc. Aren’t the bunnies, mice and other natural inhabitants JUST as important as cows and pigs?
Anyway – love you but have to agree to disagree:)
architectdesignblog
May 22, 2018 @ 2:03 pm
If someone someday (theoretically) doesn’t want to buy your house because your kitchen is too fabulous, that sounds like THEIR problem and not yours. Go for it, it’s your kitchen!!
Christine
May 22, 2018 @ 2:09 pm
I once had an island cooktop with a ceiling fan over top. I loved it. Family and guests could stand around and visit while you cook and you can face them rather than a wall. And when nobody is around, you can pretend you have your own cooking show (heee). When I had cooking odors, I opened a window and turned on the fan. No problems with a stinky house.
lori
May 22, 2018 @ 2:31 pm
Live in Paoli close by:) I’m in at least 20 homes a month doing color consultations and if I see one more white shaker cabinet-quartz that looks like carrara kitchen I will hurl. I too am knee deep in kitchen reno hell on our 1890 beauty/bane of my existence. Not going the trad route for resale (clearly I know what THAT is:) The number one thing I’ve learned doing homes before and after resale…no matter what you do the next owner will have a totally different vision and gut it. While it tears out my design soul on many jobs, it has also given me the permission I really didn’t need to do whatever TF I want for this space while it’s mine. You are doing fabulous unique self-gratifying things to this kitchen of yours – God-speed o guru of many mirrors, I salute you!
Donna Gibson
May 22, 2018 @ 2:37 pm
You mentioned you were selling the kingdom mirror. DIBS!! I want it, just let know how much and when I can pick it up!
Bernie
May 22, 2018 @ 2:44 pm
I have a crazy amount of family and friends that are eating “Keto”. They believe it is healthy….I do NOT! Another “good” movie that will make you want to go Vegan is “What the Health” , on Netflix. I watched both, “What the Health” and “The Magic Pill” (pro Keto) and I do not believe either one stressed the importance of exercise or moving (dancing?) in general. I still eat meat, but have cut way back.
I dont worry about “resale” either. It’s my house, if you dont want it, dont buy it, or buy it and make it your own!
I hate Vanilla!
Melinda
May 22, 2018 @ 3:11 pm
If you are not having a vent hood, buy a Lampe Bergere or two. I have one of those “kind of” a vent hoods that are in the microwave and do not truly suck the fumes out of the house. I always use the Lampe Bergere when cooking salmon or over-cooking anything else!
Brittney
May 22, 2018 @ 3:24 pm
I find the idea of catering what you do with your house to accommodate the taste of some future stranger who may not ever live in it to be the most infuriating thing people bring up when discussing homes. A house is literally the thing we spend the most money on IN OUR LIVES and we are afraid to make it what we want because a future stranger may not like it! It’s ABSURD! It’s your house that you spend much of your time in, when/if it is someone else’s house they can make it what they want.
Carry on, fancy warrior.
Luna Rocket
May 25, 2018 @ 10:18 am
The “fix it up so a buyer will like” it drives me nuts, too, and I “get” what they’re saying, but unless you’re trying to sell it NOW, I think it’s a little crazy. If you watch all those house flipping shows, etc the new buyer rips it all out anyway. At least they seem to these days. When we bought our current home (with NO vent hood for 18 years now!) it never occurred to me to rip things out (except for the horrid peeling vinyl flooring and even that took 5 years before we did anything about it).
And now we ARE selling our house, been on the market almost a year with no real nibbles. It’s got NOTHING to do with how the house looks, everyone seems to like it. What they don’t like is the surrounding cedar swamp or the 1/4 mile long driveway downhill (in winter it’s such fun!) and things we can’t do anything about like the fact the area never recovered from the market crash 18 years ago!
So do what you want, I say, and screw the future buyers!!!
NevadaNy
May 22, 2018 @ 4:36 pm
Have you ever been to Hawaii ?
What island does Paul want to move to?
The island of Oahu (the one with Waikiki Beach )
has a very strong Victorian historical influence.
There is a Hawaiian Palace-Hawaii had a Queen.
Hawaiian Koa Furniture and Jewelry-has a strong Victorian look.
All your Fancy Things would fit right in.
And you can always tear out your Kitchen and your Furniture -and ship it to Hawaii.
Not as hard or expensive as you would think.
I think YOU would be very happy there. Check out Craig’s list -Oahu. Lots of Antiques.
And there are Victorian Style Mu-mu’s. Victorian style, but very cool and comfortable.
However buying a home is crazy expensive. But maybe not compared to Back East U.S.
Do some online research.
Glad you are keeping the Goddess Mirror. She looks like you.
PS- I am a Vegetarian. Carry on!
Dawn Grabow
May 22, 2018 @ 5:02 pm
YES to cooktop in the island! Every time I use our INDUCTION cooktop WITHOUT HOOD located in the ISLAND I am so grateful to not be facing a wall while I cook.
Your kitchen is going to be AMAZING!
Lori
May 22, 2018 @ 5:21 pm
Vegan all the way!!! You go, girl!
Sherry S
May 22, 2018 @ 5:55 pm
I live in a very old home but it is not big like yours! My kitchen has FOUR doors!!! FOUR..count them!! And they all need to stay …doors. So the rest of the kitchen is sort of crammed into the non door spaces! I salute your use of the piano! Where will the oven go?? I can not live without an oven. Love your blog!!!
Erin
May 23, 2018 @ 6:51 am
We have 4 doors and two windows that drop below counter height in our kitchen. My condolences, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one struggling with so much wasted space!
Peggy
May 22, 2018 @ 6:17 pm
OMG, YOU MAKE ME LOL 😂
Keep up this blog and I will be healthier for it just from laughing.
PS…Paul is a Saint! You are my idol!
Diana Deal
May 22, 2018 @ 6:40 pm
Do you read Joni Webb’s blog, Cote de Texas.” Her latest post made me think of you: a chateau in France with a kitchen similar to the direction you are going, although the Europeans seem to like a sleeker look than most of us would imagine.
Catherine
May 22, 2018 @ 7:15 pm
VEB, you do with your kitchen however you want.
What I’m curious about is how you’ll run electric to your stove? Will you run it through the leg of the piano?
Your fan in Charlotte,
Catherine
P.S. I’ve been vegetarian for 33 years and I haven’t died. Though if bacon bits come on my salad at a restaurant or at a dinner party I don’t make a fuss. Frankly, I’m a little jubilant.
I do miss bacon. And fois gras. (I know. Cruelty to animals. But fois gras is sublime.)
Paula
May 22, 2018 @ 7:16 pm
Love following, and truly adore your humor and design style.
I have owned a 140 year old house for 22 years. It too is wonky here and there.
In several places I have had the opportunity to remedy the visual wonkiness with a drape. I could see a fabric valance or wood cornice over your windows, taken to the ceiling, to give balance to either side of the mirror.
If the window heights don’t catch your eye and bug you, hey it’s one less thing to do on your project ; )
Angela D.
May 22, 2018 @ 7:41 pm
Sigh. VEB!!! Because of you, I am now considering becoming vegan. I already think of you every time I eat bacon, which seems weird, so now I don’t eat bacon as often.
Your kitchen is fabulous!
ABH — I’m gonna hit my teens with this and feel superior when they don’t know what these letters represent.
Debbie Young
May 22, 2018 @ 8:24 pm
I hate hoods too so I incorporated a downdraft in my kitchen! Also — thinking back to your posts about hiding/camouflaging your fridge)….have you thought about mounting your gorgeous GFT mirror on a panel that hides (but moves) to reveal your fridge?