A box of (foster) kittens.
To address how much I miss Elvis, I have two separate and conflicting emotions:
1. Now is a good time to foster because I will never love again/my heart is stone/I will not get attached.
OR
2. Go immediately and get a forever cat… if I get a small/lady/tuxedo cat then she will be 1% like Elvis and then I will only be 99% full of sadness.
I’m not sure if these are “right” decisions that I’m “ready ” for… I suspect that much of my rush has to do with avoiding dealing with Elvis being gone.
I have always prefered creating one disaster to ignore another… and when I suggest to Self that we sit quietly in reflective contemplation, Self is like – no thanks.
Either way, it’s still a fact that we have a home to give.
Way back when we originally got Elvis, I had not planned that she would be our only cat… I assumed I would foster too, until it turned out that Elvis HATES other cats.
I even brought home kittens, and Elvis hated them too.
Paul and I were embarrassed for her… I mean, who hates kittens?
If I had been less bonded to Elvis, I might have insisted that she deal with it and understand that she didn’t get to be the only homeless cat I took in… but I had an older cat once whose entire personality changed when we introduced a younger cat, and he never recovered.
The idea of turning Elvis/my favorite being/into an unhappy rage maniac… was impossible.
So I helped in ways that didn’t upset Elvis.
On Saturday, Paul and I went over to one of the busiest shelters in Philadelphia (read: kill shelter with limited resources and huge demand for intake).
Paul was hesitant, his feeling was – you have been comatose for days, are you sure this isn’t just going to be even MORE upsetting?
I think there was also an element of — cats are the ONLY thing you’ve thought of for over a year… can we wait a minute before jumping back into that pool?
But I guess he also wasn’t comfortable being the person who refused to take me to do the one thing I said I must do.
At this shelter, you have to fill out an application to even open a cage/pet a cat you like, and as I was doing that, I thought – well I might as well apply to also be a foster. Just, you know, to cover all of the bases.
Then the application woman said – if you are interested in being a foster, I would love to show you some of the cats who are “time stamped” for tonight.
So now we are fostering Berla. (I don’t know what that name is from or means) but Paul has been calling her Bigfoot, because she is polydactyl.
She is basically a malnourished bag of bones, but she is a VERY sweet cat, which is surprising for how poorly she’s been treated by humans! She’s calm and friendly… and has been eating like a machine. She uses her litter box perfectly, AND uses the scratch pad LIKE A CHAMP. Overall, she is an excellent houseguest!
She would have been killed only because she has an upper respiratory infection. She is getting medicine, (which she does not love taking, but I am now a cat-medication-giving-rockstar. So we are a good pair.) Her breathing is better already, and even her fur is looking better… I think with some time it will fill in and she will look much spiffier.
I do not think I will fall in love with her, but she will be a wonderful cat for someone and I am so thankful we are able to give her a home while she waits for her forever people.
You cannot change the world,
but you CAN change ONE animal’s whole world!
Adopt don’t shop!
Each year, approximately 2.7 million animals are destroyed in shelters, (1.2 million dogs and 1.4 million cats) JUST in the United States (source, ASPCA)… these animals sit in lonely cages and are eventually put to death because there are simply too many animals and not enough homes… why buy from a breeder or pet store when you could save an animal’s life!
Please don’t have your animal have babies!
If you would like to experience baby animals, foster them! You get the experience, AND you are helping animals! You house them and socialize them and play with them and LOVE THEM until they are old enough to be fixed and go to their forever home!
PLEASE!!! spay and neuter your pets!
Even if they are indoor animals, they can still get out, get lost, and add to overpopulation.
If you notice stray cats in your neighborhood, PLEASE consider TNR-ing them. It’s easy to identify male cats who are not fixed because they will go around spraying on their walkabout… a TNR program can help you trap these animals, have them fixed, and then return them to their territory.
Consider being a foster home for an older animal.
Lots of dogs and cats need a place to recuperate from an injury or illness, or maybe they are just overwhelmed at the shelter and doing poorly. Temporarily taking an animal into your home can save their life! And you open up cage space for the shelter to take in another animal in need.
There are even lots of ways you can get involved that don’t require you to have animals in your home:
1. Volunteer at your local shelter— walk dogs, play with cats… giving the animals human interaction helps keep them receptive to new people and helps keep them from going stir crazy!
2. Collect supplies… shelters are ALWAYS in need of any supplies you can donate. You can ask your shelter for a list of needs.
Host an adoption event.
According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, 40% of pet owners learned about their pet through word of mouth… essentially, just putting animals IN FRONT OF PEOPLE makes them want to adopt!
Think about places where you can raise awareness– work, gym, local coffee shop… get creative! This is TRULY effective!
To find a shelter, start with Google… but sometimes small, volunteer-based organizations are not web-savvy! So searching on Facebook, or Petfinder can also be a good start.
You can even help without ever meeting animals– raise awareness:
1. about the importance of spay/neuter, the value of fostering, trap-neuter-return, and choosing shelters over breeders/pet stores.
2. and also:
GIVING AWAY FREE ANIMALS IS A BAD IDEA!
Initially I tried to write why, but the urls of these articles pretty much sum it up:
man-charged-with-torturing-and-killing-pets-he-adopted-from-craigslist.html
Kittens-bought-Craigslist-stomped-death-kill-room-man-says-hurt-angry-world.html
man-who-tortured-dismembered-dogs-he-got-on-craigslist-gets
If none of those seem like good reasons to be careful who you give an animal to, here are more:
- Cats, kittens, small dogs, rabbits, etc. are used as bait in dogfighting rings. (National Geographic. *NO graphic images.)
- Used in “crush” fetish videos… which is exactly what it sounds like (care2.org… *NO graphic or upsetting images, just a report on a successful and unprecedented prosecution!)
PLEASE go the extra mile when rehoming a pet! PLEASE check out the credentials and housing for your pet to ensure they are going to a truly safe and loving home.
***
I know at this point you are like: WHERE IS THE BOX OF KITTENS I WAS PROMISED?
So here you go.
After we came home with Berla. I felt good about that!
But you know what I didn’t feel good about? I didn’t help any kittens. Who doesn’t help kittens??
In the moment/at the shelter, I wasn’t sure if I wanted kittens. I thought they might make me sadder/miss Elvis more/generally contribute to the feeling of life-isn’t-fair.
But by the time we got home I realized I had made a mistake — the day I don’t have room in my heart for kittens is a day of doom and armageddon… so I had to make a second trip.
Have I gone overboard? Probably… it’s what I do. I don’t know any other way to function.
It is officially kitten season… which means that in any given week, a busy shelter can EASILY take in a HUNDRED kittens and pregnant cats.
THAT IS A LOT OF KITTENS.
If you are able to provide a foster home, you are giving these animals a chance to get big enough to be adopted. AND (incase this is not obvious) YOU GET KITTENS.
Here is some video for you. ***TURN UP YOUR VOLUME TO HEAR THEM**
P.S.– I switched video hosts, because the other one was getting expensive! You might get a comercial now. Sorry! When I re-evaluated my expense-priorities: making-my-site-fancy-for-internet-people VS. cats… the cats won.
Bobbles
August 17, 2016 @ 1:33 pm
I love the new kittens and especially Bigfoot! Thank you for helping her!
May I suggest a guy who builds cat condos? http://www.arubacat.com is wonderful, much better quality than others out there and super nice!
judy
August 17, 2016 @ 1:53 pm
Ahhhh…so darling. I can’t believe you found a box of little elvis like baby cats. I’m 76 and have had a lot of pets and I had never seen a cat with the tuxedo coloring. I feed the feral cats in our little neighborhood and the only one that still comes wants very much to come in the house. Problem is my sons Rottweiler-135 lbs and our lab pit mix 98 lbs.
Our dog Grover lived his whole 10 years with our cat that just passed at 18 years of age so how come he has decided he HATES cats? I saw the two dogs with a young Raccoon in their mouths, much larger than an adult Cat-and just dread this cat thinking it can make our house it’s home. Thank goodness I spotted the racoon at the cat food again so how he survived is a miracle but I think my screaming loud enough to wake the dead and their dropping it might have something to do with it.
I am going to call the pound and ask if they take volunteers. My husband is 80 and has Alzheimer’s so Have to see if we can manage anything helpful. You Veb are the most darling charming soul I have ever encountered in this life,I hope you know that just by writing you have been a wonderful presence in the lives of your many “friends” Oh and we have changed out all of cleaning products to cruelty free we were already recycling and using non polluting so you are having a huge positive impact in so many areas. xoxo from the seniors.
Kate
August 17, 2016 @ 2:03 pm
Yep, sure, I believe you, understand perfectly your cold heart will be able to give those 3 absolutely darling kittens back… right, got you, good luck with that!!!!
Saly
August 17, 2016 @ 2:04 pm
Well now I think you are even more fabulous!!
Laura
August 17, 2016 @ 2:23 pm
I was so glad to see the title of this post.
I was a vet tech for thirty years, most of that spent in emergency and specialty medicine, including a stint in oncology. When our clients lost a pet to illness or accident, we would never ever pressure anyone to immediately get another. We would never ever suggest that another pet could take the place of the one that was lost. There is no such thing as a “replacement” in these situations. Everyone grieves differently.
But every time a client wrote us a letter to tell us that they had a new furry family member, or brought their newest edition by the clinic to meet us, we KNEW that they would be okay, and I’m so glad that you’re going to be okay.
It’s true that cats (usually) don’t like other cats, but if there is an exception to this rule, it is littermates. And I’m pretty sure that regardless of how Elvis might have felt about other felines, she would approve of this turn of events.
Suzanne D Dickey
August 17, 2016 @ 2:35 pm
Love this. I had two cats that died within 4 months of each other about 5 years ago. I had Fluffy and Katie for 18 years. Gut wrenching when I lost them. Got a rescue 2 weeks later. I have 2 rescues now. They ARE not Katie and Fluffy but I adore them for who they are.
jae
August 17, 2016 @ 2:44 pm
Thank you, and Paul. Too many needy animals grateful for a home. I lost my dearest cat friend ever, and said never again. Several weeks later we were blessed with a “foreclosure cat” living on the streets. She had just had a litter, in a coyote populated area. The first night in our snug warm home she purred all night! We intended just to foster and adopt them out…….7 years later they are all dear family, and we are, I guess, ‘crazy cat people’! They didnt replace my boy, but they are loved just as much.
jae
August 17, 2016 @ 2:58 pm
There is a great, and for all I can discover, legitimate website, http://www.freekibble.com, which will send you daily trivia questions. Each answer, correct or not, donates food and litter to shelters. Takes just a minute, and is a great, non committal way to help needy animals. Their motto is ‘because every dog and cat deserves a decent dinner.’ For sure!
Yvonne Angus
August 17, 2016 @ 3:12 pm
Let the healing beginbegin. For you AND the felines. <3
Kay
August 17, 2016 @ 3:32 pm
You are wonderful. I too wouldn’t be surprised if you become too attached to give these cats up. I can’t foster because of the attachment issue, and I currently have a cat that hates other cats as much as Elvis did, but I have never in my life bought a cat–every one has been a rescue. It has never made sense to me to buy a cat when there are so many wonderful cats needing homes. I remember a stray in our neighborhood that I started feeding–sweet cat, very affectionate, who snuck into our garage a couple of times to spend the night (it was October and getting quite cold). Then she disappeared for a week, and I was very worried. I pray for cats–seems to me there is nothing that does not benefit from prayer–and prayed about this cat. I got up Saturday morning and looked out the kitchen window, and there she was, sitting on top of a large stiff bush, just as though she had been placed there. She had gotten much fatter and wasn’t hungry at all, so I knew she had found a home. She was put on that bush so I would know she was safe and happy. I never saw her again.
Kim
August 17, 2016 @ 4:13 pm
Fostering is a double gift, because when you foster you open up shelter spots for other animals.
Good on you. Elvis would be proud. I think that grey kitty will grow on you. I love the extra toes.
Mary
August 17, 2016 @ 4:20 pm
Bravo! Victoria. Well done. What motor boat purrrrssss.
Katherine
August 17, 2016 @ 4:27 pm
Awesome advice! You’re doing great work for the animal world! (You gotta get in on ethical eggs, though. It’s amazing how delicious eggs are when the hens are treated right.)
Sunnie Mitchell
August 17, 2016 @ 4:51 pm
Well done, VEB, very well done:) Berla and The Three Little Kittens have fallen into tall clover with you and Paul giving them a ‘temporary’ home. Well done you!
Madeline
August 17, 2016 @ 5:10 pm
I have 5 cats–don’t judge. I didn’t mean for it to happen, I am not a cat person. Each one was a rescue that would not have lasted another day. They are sweet, wonderful creatures who did not deserve to die or to be born unwanted. Please, please don’t let your cats breed.
Francie T
August 17, 2016 @ 5:13 pm
yeah, you gonna fall in love with every one of them. We have 4 inside, all throw aways and feed 4 to 5 outside. We just lost one of our outsides, he was such a sweetie but was sick when he showed up. He lasted two years and I miss him more than I can say. But we will let another take his place. It’s only right. (())
gretchen
August 17, 2016 @ 5:32 pm
I love her feetsies! You will be blessed for changing the lives of these kitties.
Michele
August 17, 2016 @ 5:43 pm
Oh my gosh – this makes me so happy. I don’t know how you are not going to end up keeping all three kittens (maybe 3 mini-Elvis = 25% of the original Elvis – just maybe). Good luck! Hope your curtains survive the foster! xo
Debra
August 17, 2016 @ 5:48 pm
A houseful of cats is a great way to help out. There is so much need. Some people are so cruel and the rest of us have to take care of the homeless kitties. Berla looks so sweet. And kittens, who doesn’t love a kitten.
teri
August 17, 2016 @ 6:12 pm
I wish we were neighbours, ♥