Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didnāt have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she willĀ always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didnāt know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I couldā¦ I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
Itās on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she wasĀ so excited that you were going to pet her…Ā At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, soĀ I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
Iāve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at firstā the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now Iāve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when youĀ have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:35 am
My heart is breaking for you.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:35 am
Tears are running down my cheeks right now…after reading your sweet post and watching that joyous yet heartbreaking Elvis video. I have been right where you are ~ saying goodbye to a treasured, utterly loved and cherished member of the family…so appallingly final and so very nearly unbearable. My heart aches for you.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:36 am
Beautiful video. RIP Elvis………..
August 9, 2016 @ 10:36 am
I am so sorry for your loss. We have recently gone through the loss of our own sweet Miss Kitty so I know exactly how much you are hurting. Our pets bring such joy and love into our lives and they are with us such a short time it seems, but our lives are so enriched by having them with us. God bless you and comfort your through this difficult time. Lots of Hugs and Prayers are with you.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:37 am
I am so sorry for your the loss of your beloved cat. I lost my beloved dog in January and cannot believe also
the profound sadness and emptiness you feel. Trust that is does get better with time. Know that you loved him deeply and he felt your love.
I love your blog and your humor. I get so excited when I see you have posted!
Take care of yourself….grieving is exhausting.
Fondly,
Mary Jane
August 9, 2016 @ 10:37 am
I’m so sorry.
I clicked to read your posts and saw Elvis’s photos. Instantly that wonderful face made me tear up and I cant bring myself to read your post. I know how much you loved Elvis, so so very much.
(((Big hugs to you)))
August 9, 2016 @ 10:38 am
I am so sorry! Losing my sweet cat (ok, she was the devil to everyone else) was horrible and very sudden and took a long time to get over. Most people find a way through the grief–I hope you can too!! RIP Elvis
August 9, 2016 @ 10:38 am
My favorites: asleep with her little pink tongue showing between her lips; her head just barely visible under a robe lapel; playing peekaboo on the stairs.
Bawling here. She was so loved and she gave so much love. My heart hurts so for you both.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:38 am
My heart is breaking for you. I know the pain of your loss. You were an amazing pet parent to Elvis, and she was obviously so loved. The hole in your life that she left may never heal completely, but may it be filled with loving memories always.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:38 am
My heart hurts for you. Elvis, and my sweet Sophie Cat, I feel are on the same platform of cat-awesomeness. Losing Sophie several years ago literally sucked the life out of me for several weeks. It was the physical ache of loss that was the most surprising to me. I too missed her weight and her smell and the random cat hairs left all over my white pants.
I will tell you this and I hope it bring you comfort. After Sophie died I hoped and prayed she would visit me in my dreams and for a long, long time her never did. Then, a few months ago, during a particularly rough time, she appear at my feet in a dream. I picked her up and I could felt her fur and her weight and she was purring. It brought me more comfort than I ever could have imagined.
Elvis was one of kind, although I know you don’t need me to tell you that.
My love to you and your family.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:39 am
The tears I’m shedding are a mix:
A ton for the hurt I know you are feeling (I said goodbye to my beloved Tchia after 13 yrs)
Some are cried from a place of being able to relate and hating that someone else had to feel that throat tightening, soul crushing loss…the loss of loving something so much you abandon yourself to it, and they you…
I have loved so many moments with Elvis through you, which is also reason for the tears. Elvis moments made (make) me so happy.
So I’m crying also over being able to witness real love and kindness, you towards a precious sweet and trusting cat and the love the soft bundle of honesty shared towards you. (If we could all be as honest as cats…)
I wish I could hug you.
Hope that doesn’t sound weird.
Hoping this comment conveys my genuine thanks to you, your husband and Elvis for so much joy.
My sincerest aloha for you
August 9, 2016 @ 10:39 am
Oh, dear Victoria. What a lovely tribute to sweet Elvis. There is nothing that can be said to ease your pain and sadness. We think that the very hardest part is waiting and trying to determine the best time to say goodbye. But then we find that aching, anxious feeling expanding into the empty space that is left. The good news is that while it fills your whole being now, you will keep processing it and absorbing it until it becomes the wonderful memory that is Elvis. Sending hugs your way.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:40 am
My heart is breaking for you. I cried while reading your beautiful tribute to Elvis, and I wish I had the words to comfort you; but I know that none exist. All I can say is this: I truly believe our beloved pets are with us in Heaven. I believe that when you arrive, Elvis will be there waiting for you. So, it is not goodbye; it is “until we meet again.”
August 9, 2016 @ 10:41 am
Well said. Horrible system. Unbearable. You are in my prayers.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:41 am
I am so sorry for your loss. No one can understand that depth of missing your furry companion until it happens to you. Love never leaves the building even though Elvis did. She will remain forever a paw print on your heart! Rest in peace Elvis!
August 9, 2016 @ 10:42 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. My cat is my baby too, so I empathize with you. Elvis was a lucky girl to have been loved so much.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:42 am
(( =^.^= ))
August 9, 2016 @ 10:42 am
I once read that pets have so much shorter lives than us humans because they already “get it”. They get how to love unconditionally and enjoy every moment of every day without dwelling on past and present. It has helped me understand why my beloved pets leave before I wish them to. Elvis got it. xoxo
August 9, 2016 @ 10:43 am
I started tearing up as I read the first sentence. I’m now full “ugly crying” for your loss and the terrifying anxiety it gives me over one day losing my 3 kitties. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Knowing she was sick, doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye. I only hope that when the day comes, I’ll be as brave for my fur babies as you’ve been for Elvis. Thank you for sharing. Loves & hugs ā¤
August 9, 2016 @ 10:43 am
Through tears I watched this lovely video of sweet Elvis and all the love she gave you and ya’ll gave to her. I know that ache and it will get better but there will be little moments when it will peek through. Sending you a huge hug.