59 Comments

  1. Sue
    May 4, 2018 @ 10:48 am

    who knew???

    Reply

  2. Payton
    May 4, 2018 @ 10:51 am

    This is it. This is my new favorite VEB Kitchen-saga post.

    Reply

  3. Allie
    May 4, 2018 @ 10:53 am

    I think it is wonderfully ironic that one of the fanciest things you can do with your counters had the same name as one of the cheapest options. Good luck on your quest!
    xAllie
    http://www.theallthatglittersblog.com

    Reply

  4. Pat Coletta
    May 4, 2018 @ 10:58 am

    Fancy edges are nothing more than expensive crumb catchers. Beware!

    Reply

    • Linda
      May 4, 2018 @ 11:57 am

      Definitely agree. Bullnose is clean and forever in style.

      Reply

      • Nina
        May 6, 2018 @ 4:17 am

        And far less likely to chip when accidentally banging pots and stuff on them. Edges around my sink are chipped, but my bullnose edges are perfect.

        Reply

    • Laura
      May 4, 2018 @ 12:49 pm

      True! And they require additional cleaning that may even
      involve Q-tips if dripping chocolate sauce is involved.

      Reply

    • Danielle
      May 4, 2018 @ 1:47 pm

      And dust sitters.

      Reply

    • BeBe
      May 4, 2018 @ 11:03 pm

      Agree. Crumbs, dust, etc. Sometimes less is more, VEB, especially in a work space. Pencil edge with radius corners would look great, especially with that great apron sink! Not to mention, much less work for dear, incredulously patient, and skilled Paul.

      Reply

    • cee ceee
      May 7, 2018 @ 7:20 pm

      I have fancy edges, and I have no problems with them-crumbs, or chips. I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!! Bullnose is just thick and coarse and whenever I see them my face turns sour! LOL

      Reply

  5. Cathy
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:00 am

    I love you. That is all

    Reply

  6. Kiki
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:06 am

    I didn’t even know all of this existed! And hey, I know Paul can easily do this…. 🙂
    There is just one tiny devil showing his horns and bothering my lazy mind: Who would want to clean all these fancy, complicated finishings? A kitchen needs to be beautiful AND practical, no? Cleaning all these millions of indents and what-nots with a Q-tip would definitely drive me around the bend on which I’m hovering already anyway. Good luck my darling!

    Reply

  7. dux
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:08 am

    Pat is 100% right: those voluptuous edges are gorgeous, but if you do more in your kitchen than merely look at it, you will slowly (or quickly) go insane when wiping your countertops. They catch / collect everything and are reluctant to let go.

    I wanted a gorgeous kitchen for hard cooking (as I’ve mentioned before: we have calacatta slab counters / backsplash, cabs with fancy details which would have driven me insane except one of my children loves picking, so he’ll get in to those crevices [or crevasses] with a toothpick to get out all the gunge), and luckily in a previous house our counters had the most beautiful edge … which was just for looking at and for having daily hired help — not weekly, daily (the only daily help is me).

    So all our counters here are an eased edge. Note the word “eased,” which is basically EASY.

    Reply

  8. judy
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:09 am

    Wow-your expertise in leading Paul down your Garden Path to your version of The Emerald City is surpassed only by the genius of your writing and your wit. I dread the day when you abandon this kyak of writing and find your true destiny far far away in some New York penthouse where you will abandon us to the dreaded drivel and snark of the -sob- Russian Bloggo-sphere. Where we can enjoy the numerous exchanges of evermore violent virulent nonsense.

    Please don’t?

    Reply

  9. Robin
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:13 am

    Okay… I get that you love to dazzle us all with DIY brilliance. (Really, you do, you’re fantastic!) I do wonder though, how much a countertop company would charge to cut your stone to shape, polish it, and make the edge profiles? There are times when I must relinquish control and let the pros have at it. In our new kitchen, we are planning to top the island with ogeed marble, but we are using a leathered Ubatuba with a simple eased profile on the perimeter cabinets. It is an inexpensive black stone, with few features, and when leathered it looks like soapstone and vintage slate science lab tables had a love child. It also makes it feel almost soft to the touch. You just want to caress the surface all day long. This finish doesn’t make the stone porous either, which means that zillion-degree pasta sauce will still wipe away just fine. Photos don’t do it justice: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/436004807649119318/

    Reply

    • RobynB
      May 4, 2018 @ 11:54 am

      I don’t know specifically about her local stoneworkers, as I’m on the opposite side of the country. But based on the quotes I just received for doing an ogee edge on a tiny piece of granite for a shelf, it could be A LOT. I just paid $250 to simply add an edge around a 12″ x 28″ piece. Yes, that’s INCHES, and that was the lowest quote by a significant amount – the next closest quote was over $400. Multiply that by the size of her island and countertops….. Eeek.

      Reply

    • Cenepk10
      May 4, 2018 @ 12:51 pm

      Fabulous!!!! VEB seems too fancy for this finish- Although – wish I had come up with that solution! I also did the dark on perimeter & a fanciful gorgeous slab on the island. So many choices- One thing was certain: no ogee edges for me. Thought it would look dated – I love the straight edge. Classic.

      Reply

  10. Lindsey
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:15 am

    Brilliant idea. I can’t wait to see what you do with the mountains of marble you got!

    Reply

  11. Vickie H.
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:15 am

    ok…please….pick your battles…..pay a professional to do this for you and be done with that part. Then you don’t have to worry about not knowing what you are doing.
    Just my opinion.

    Reply

  12. Bethany Otto
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:15 am

    I don’t have any experience with countertops except the granite one my husband broke in half last year trying to do it himself, but I felt obligated to weigh in and say OUT WITH VESSEL SINKS! If I wanted to break my nose every time I bend over to spit toothpaste, then maybe.

    Reply

  13. Lisa Morrison
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:23 am

    Please don’t DIY stone work! I am sure there are plenty of contractors who can do it for a nominal fee. I am totally a do it yourselfer but have learned when something is beyond my capability and need to just hire someone to do it. Can’t wait for the next post!

    Reply

  14. LB
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:28 am

    Let the fancy be what the countertops are made of not their crumb-catching, dust-catching edges. Choose just one step above boring (i guess that would be ogee?) and go with it and move on to aquiring fancy to go around / under / on it.

    Reply

  15. Jayne Zabala
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:31 am

    I would definitely go with an ogee edge because it is more in keeping with the detail (especially the piano island) and the period of your house and they look much more expensive. The straight edges to me are more modern and fine in a modern house, but not your fancy place!

    Reply

  16. Janet
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:37 am

    Victoria: just remember to make sure whatever faucet you’re going to use will work with the thickness of countertop you go with. I tend to think a pro would be a good choice for the edging.

    Reply

  17. Pedantka
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:41 am

    So to stack the stone you want to use epoxy. There is probably one specially formulated for laminating stone; I’ve been out of the building stuff business for over a decade and didn’t specialise in stone work after I finished my training, so I have no idea what it’s called, but it will probably be expensive and you should pay for it. And you DEFINITELY want to laminate before polishing, because a) polishing creates a really smooth surface that gives the epoxy less to grip on to and increases the chances of failure and b) when you clamp the slabs together to laminate them, some epoxy will squeeze out and since “polishing” is a fancy word for “sanding over and over and over again with progressively higher grits of sandpaper”, well, the polishing process should take care of that residue better than scraping epoxy off the surface of your already polished counter edge.

    The curved edges on the island will be a pain, but a “need to build a jig” sort of pain, not an “abandon hope all ye who enter here” sort of pain. The biggest issue is that marble is brittle, and there is a nozero risk of a non-expert without industrial equipment trying to put a fancy shape on the edge of a slab actually chipping the edge instead, so keep that in mind–maybe a design that has a square or bullnose edge on the *top* and an ogee on the bottom would help mitigate that risk a bit?

    Reply

    • Shirley
      May 4, 2018 @ 1:52 pm

      You got that right! A professional who was doing a marble hearth surround for me had a piece of marble blow up on his saw. That stuff is touchy to work with. Let the pros take the risks.

      Reply

      • Marianne in Mo.
        May 4, 2018 @ 5:39 pm

        I’ve heard of that happening too! Danger! Danger! I would NOT DIY this edge-work in a million years! They make it look easy on that video, but I’m sure the guy was a pro at the work. I would go for a more simplified edge too, and if fancy is what you want, do the combined edges and glued slabs. I personally would have a squared, flat edge for ease of keeping clean. I’m kinda becoming a germ-o-phobe lately, so I did the quartz counters!

        Reply

  18. becky up a hill
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:42 am

    I have a teensy tiny weenie petite eat in kitchen I remodeled last year. It has a quartz countertop and not one crumb has found it’s resting place on the Ogee edge. Yes, I cook all my meals. I picked out a fancy (to me) faucet. When the plumbers opened the box, one said…I swear. “This is fancy”….yes, he said the “f” word about my faucet. I looked at my best friend, who was holding fort in the living room, and I mouthed the word, fancy to her. Bliss.

    Reply

  19. Audrey
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:51 am

    I’ve been a fan for over 3 years when I bought my Queen Ann Victorian and started following your blogg for inspiration. Turns out today, I see a picture of my own house on your page in a Peerspace add! TOO FUNNY!

    Reply

  20. Jeanne
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:54 am

    I have a simple ogee edge on 3cm quartz and it is not a dust catcher. I have heard ogee can chip easier, but I have not had that problem. I have seen some stacked edges where the seam was really noticeable, so I agree, this might not be a DIY for the first time type of project.

    While I am not overly fond of the minimalist type kitchens and prefer some “fancy”, simplicity in something innately pretty can bring out the real beauty.

    Reply

  21. Christy Lewis
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:57 am

    Well I heartily appreciate the desire to DIY for so many reasons, be they driven by the desire to meet the goals of personal accomplishment, budget or whatever, if you are actually doing this for the first time, I am nervous for you. You have some gorgeous Stone, and if you do it improperly, you ruin the whole slab by chipping the edge. That would just stink. Or at least I would think you might think that. So my vote is to have somebody else do your edges. Someone who does this for a living. Who knows the foibles of either slate or marble whichever you’re choosing. They will know best what problems you’re going to run into. Because it is highly likely that you will have a problem. I too love a challenge and love to take on new projects that I have never done before and have no expertise in. But this one, beautiful stone countertops that you could potentially ruin, not so much fun. My vote is for whatever edge treatment you decide on but to have a professional do it for you.

    Reply

  22. JeanFB
    May 4, 2018 @ 11:58 am

    Alas, I cannot help with the DIYing of edges, since I am such a dinosaur I did not know there was such an edge as a “Cole Smith” and I am distraught that I do not have it. I can tell you, however, that I will read a post the length of War and Peace in order to know every last detail about The Nuclear War of Fanciness because I love you and your sense of humor and your sense of GFTs! (I giggled out loud at least 5 times just on today’s post).

    Reply

  23. JJ
    May 4, 2018 @ 12:09 pm

    I’ve read your blog for FOREVER and maybe I laughed the hardest today. I had to copy and paste what Paul said into a note to read it all and I can’t remember what he said already. Ohwellnotimportant. also, death to vessel sinks.

    Reply

  24. Darling Lily
    May 4, 2018 @ 12:35 pm

    People, people, people…have you forgotten who we’re dealing with here? A woman who has the patience to watch for hours as her demi-god husband excavates the twin portals to Narnia and Downton Abbey out of some random stranger’s wall is not going to quibble at taking a few minutes each day to run a toothpick around her exquisite, perfectly profiled, stacked marble counter-tops.

    I admit to being somewhat puzzled by Paul’s lack of self-confidence, however. Michelangelo was able to bring forth all manner of angels, saints, and biblical kings out of huge lumps of marble with nothing but a chisel; Paul is every bit as talented as him, and I find it hard to believe that he thinks he can’t make fancy edges along a few slabs of marble with the added benefits of electricity and modern tools. I hate to say it, but I suspect some sort of subterfuge. I feel certain that in his mind he has weighed hours of tedious, back-breaking work against the possibility that you will change your mind about something halfway through the process, or find fault in the end result, and that his courage is failing him.

    I suggest you don your fanciest ballgown and the Necklace-of-Broaches and hie thee to the nearest Marble Hewing Place of Business and ask for a tour, so you can ostensibly ask for a quote, but in reality observe and steal All The Secrets.

    Reply

    • Gina
      May 4, 2018 @ 1:21 pm

      Your assessment Darling Lily is spot on. Here here.

      Reply

  25. Janice Bowden
    May 4, 2018 @ 12:48 pm

    Loved this post. Many suggestion for DIY countertop edges – don’t! I work with stones in my jewelry and all stones have grain and will more likely chip along the grain lines. If you stack 2 pieces of marble without understanding the grain, they may be cross grained and will cause problems when edging. I know this is not fancy, but I would hate for you to have your heart broken. Pay a professional.

    Reply

  26. Mary McDonough
    May 4, 2018 @ 1:18 pm

    I wrote a comment about my concerns about the talc flaking off, but it disappeared. Maybe I put it in the wrong place? I did want you to think about it, do some more research.

    Mary

    Reply

  27. Gina
    May 4, 2018 @ 1:19 pm

    I have been waiting forrrevvveerrr to read your too-long post about the fanciness apocalypse. The anticipation is giving me fitz and I know we will all treasure every single word that goes over the acceptable blog post length standards. Whoever decided what was an acceptable length probably is writing drivel anyway and if they appreciated brilliance like yours they surely would increase their word allotments.

    Reply

  28. Tina
    May 4, 2018 @ 1:46 pm

    When we were looking at countertops a few years ago I started with a fabricator, whereby I would get the granite someplace else, have it transferred to him and then installed. Then I found Colonial Marble and Granite that did everything, for an amazing price. Went with them. But for you, she who owns much marble already, a fabricator might just be the way to go if Self cannot talk Paul into to the edge that Self requires.

    Reply

  29. Angélica
    May 4, 2018 @ 2:18 pm

    I have Ogee. It is very easy to clean. Go for it.

    Reply

  30. Melanie Plum
    May 4, 2018 @ 2:23 pm

    I’m the lone outlier here, I guess. Not lone in that I don’t love you, I DO! but lone in that no picture of any kitchen you have ever posted appeals to me in the least. My mid century loving self just wants cheap formica with boomerangs! and atomics! and lots and lots of color!! Back when decor was FUN!!! 🙂 But y’all carry on with your fancy selves!

    Reply

    • Bernie
      May 4, 2018 @ 8:50 pm

      Melanie Plum, can I be so bold as to ask your age? Sixty-four here….I grew up with boomerangs and atomics and didnt like it the first time around! I laugh at the term “mid century” instead of just calling it 50’s cheap (not chic!) A decorator friend of mine and I joked in the 70’s that we sure hoped that boomerang counters would never come back. Oh well, to each his own. I do however love color and think neutrals are WAY over rated, not to mention boring! And VEB…give Paul a break and let someone else do a simple Ogee. Cant wait for you n
      next post.

      Reply

  31. Kathy
    May 4, 2018 @ 2:38 pm

    I would hate to see a fancy countertop edge detract from the extra fancy grand piano kitchen island. I know it’s the antithesis of your mission statement, but I think a simpler edge would complement the island. I know it’s highly doubtful that you’ll take my advice because ‘simple’ is not in your lexicon. Tell Paul I tried.

    Reply

  32. Sheila Downey
    May 4, 2018 @ 3:44 pm

    At the risk of exposing my Scandinavian roots, my 2 øre’s worth is square marble edges are timeless, clean & classic. You have a lotta fancy going on in that room and the marble itself is stunning in it’s simplicity.
    You don’t need your counter edges screaming “LOOK AT US! Don’t you DARE be distracted by the piano island/refrigerator/cabinetsnocabinets/mirrors/ringmasters/jugglers/tuxedo cats etc” Dare I say this next sentence without releasing the wrath of all that is fancy? SOMETIMESLESSISMORE! (quickly scurries behind my raw pine, Danish silver & white simplicity)

    Reply

  33. CB
    May 4, 2018 @ 4:01 pm

    I love DIY and I’m also a contractor. Unless you plan on several more stone jobs, the cost of the equipment will cost more than paying someone to do the work. I know Paul’s good, but there is a big risk of it not turning out how you want and damaging the material beyond use. Stone countertops need to be installed on plywood subtops, unless your Krafttmaid cabinets come with full solid tops (rare) in lieu of stretchers (common). You then have two choices- fill tops in all new cabinets (lots of work), or add plywood on top of cabinets with stretchers (easy). The edges are then laminated to hide the plywood, this it typically only the overhanging 1″. So, just to clarify those edges on countertops are not solid slabs stacked on top of one another. The edge needs to be laminated. (and I realize this is a totally boring post)

    Reply

  34. Memory
    May 4, 2018 @ 4:12 pm

    Am I stating the obvious? The edge should repeat themes in the carpentry. . .therefore, before deciding on an edge, wouldn’t you ask: what will the cabinets look like? Chippendale feet? Pilasters & curlicues? = fancy edge. More austere (Shaker, Arts and Crafts etc.) = eased or beveled. Here’s a great example where the home owner coordinated the marble edge treatment with the carpentry, and then doubled down on the ceramics! Marvelous. http://anurbancottage.blogspot.com/2013/07/guest-bath-details.html

    Reply

  35. Teresa Townsell
    May 4, 2018 @ 4:49 pm

    I see a Go Fund Me in your future!

    Reply

  36. Robyn
    May 4, 2018 @ 5:08 pm

    I wanted a triple pencil Roman ogee edge, but I got a 1/2 bevel, I’m still pissed, point is get the edge you want because you will never be happy without it!

    Reply

  37. Shirley
    May 4, 2018 @ 5:54 pm

    Because of you I am inching my way into re-doing my kitchen.

    Last year Irma blew apart my 30+ ft Live Oak (split it right down the middle) LOTS and LOTS of oak lumber available. If I can get my hands on a chain saw mill I’ll have all the wood I could want, including slabs of 38″ wide for the counter tops.

    I prefer wood to stone/corian/formica because it’s quieter. Then there is the copper penny flooring I am considering.

    Toodles.
    S-

    Reply

  38. liz
    May 4, 2018 @ 7:57 pm

    Another voice in the chorus of paying for a professional. (Please, Self, I’m so sorry but, deep breath) I ran a water jet for two years at a stone fabrication company. Ogee is more expensive because it is substantially more work and much much harder to produce a first rate profile or polish. I have a sculpture background and found polishing even flat-edged granite (much easier than any sort of curve on marble. The people who only polished stone- like 8hrs/day every day, stuck to easy profiles/stones for weeks before curves on marble. Unless you want to lose Paul for 2-3 months while he refines his skills, exceptionally talented though you both may be, there are much easier profiles to diy. (I personally wouldn’t dare try an ogee with pneumatic, water fed tools, and possibly only the ones made in Italy.) Chips are not only a concern for daily use, but also for production. If an edge chips during the course of profiling/polishing, bam, start over. Wasted slab that becomes backsplash or a remnant. That beautiful veining, gone. We have to pick your second choice. On the bright side, if you or Paul can pull it off, then you could be hired at the stone fabricator of your choosing.
    p.s. laminating is done with a stone epoxy that cures harder than marble, with clamps on roughened surfaces, before the profile is put on. if you want that seam to match your marble, invest in an ungodly number of tints and do your color matching tests well in advance
    Again, sad but true, so sorry.

    Reply

  39. liz
    May 4, 2018 @ 8:01 pm

    *…found polishing even flat-edged granite (much easier than any sort of curve on marble) to be difficult to get Perfectly Even, A++, bonus points and extra credit. If you are willing to accept like a four out of five star polish job, then that may be attainable in picking up a polisher on your weekends. But that might be the best you could hope for.

    Reply

  40. Dave P
    May 4, 2018 @ 10:56 pm

    Yes while you can rough cut an If we edge keep in mind the art is in the finish polish. I do not recommend this as an amatuer…to get that million dollar look you need a million dollars worth of marble to master it. Then again if you don’t want quality then this is perfect for you.

    Reply

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