Bath Remodel: Before and After.
The bathroom remodel took at least three times as long as it should have.
Possibly four.Ā Possibly nine.
My decision-making process was gruesomely slow and drove Paul to the brink of madness.
I mean that.Ā Not in an exaggerated way.Ā But in a very accurate way.Ā It made him crazy that he could not force me to pick a tile, a grout, lights, faucets, a sink, towel bars, a shower dial thingā¦
But?Ā In my quest for the perfect bathroom / making my husband crazy?Ā I win.
Behold.
Starting this bathroom renovation was a giant step forward.
AND a giant step backwards.
It meant we finally got rid of theĀ absolutely hideous old bathroom.
But it also meant another disaster right in the center of the house.
And it came at a time when IāD HAD ENOUGH.Ā Enough mess.Ā Enough disaster.Ā Enough of junk piled everywhere and plastic drop cloths and dirt.Ā Enough of feeling like this house had eaten my life and my husband and my sanity.
Not that it mattered.Ā Because when youāre living in a construction site, you donāt get to sayāoh, la la laā¦ no more mess today.Ā You do get to feel like your hair is on fire and your teeth are being electrocuted with stress and irritation– all of your own making.
Thatās the bathroom, on the left.Ā I know.Ā Donāt be jealous.
This?Ā This color/ mess/ disaster/ hovelā¦ makes you kind of sad for me?
Well.Ā We lived with this for FAR longer than most people would tolerate.
Way, way, way longer.
That should imply that I am patient and above material comforts.Ā But instead means that I spent two years alternately lying on the floor in exhausted misery or cursing the delusion I had– of how we would move in and fix things in an organized and timely fashion.
A novice fantasy on my part– induced by house blogs written by couples so fresh and cheerful and never coming to blows. Where there is no mention of how your house might actually kill you.
Ā Ā 
It took us two years to get to this bathroomā¦ two years of constant, renovation-related chaos. Two years of never-ending projects and demolition and banging andĀ scraping and ripping out and repairing and basically living in a dumpster.
Two years worth of indoctrination for meāinto all of the ways I had failed to understand the meaning of construction.Ā And two years of indoctrination into how I married a machine.
Prior to this house, I had met Project Paul.Ā But I hadnāt comprehended the extent of his amazing superpowerāwhere he goes and lives in an alternate universe known as Project Outer Space.
Where he wears a protective spacesuit that insulates against anything that distracts from his noble and unimpeachable pursuit to finish this house.
A logistical impasse for me…Ā Because when your project-partner claims for himself the mantle of irreproachable-construction-righteousness?Ā You get the other role: project-irritant-and-captain-of-work-stoppage.
A role I have played with undying fervor and dedication.Ā Never having a sick day or calling in my understudy.Ā I have been out there, onstage, every night without fail. Ā Whether the audience likes me or not.
Ā Ā 
Itās important to say that Paul wanted me to join him in his project spaceship.Ā In fact, there was nothing he wanted more.
But only if I sat quietly and did not ask to drive.
Plus, it was incredibly crowded with both of us in there. Ā Especially since I needed to bring so much stuffāall of my precise, exacting wishes.Ā All of my refusal to compromise.Ā All of my need for shiny fanciful things that I conjured out of my head without consideration of time/effort/feasibility/cost/practicality…
All of my endless indecision and endless research and endless debating and endless discussingā¦Ā All of my endless meticulousness requiring him to triangulate the alignment of the moon and the sun and theĀ position of the toilet.
Paul sees a project as a list, a layout, a timeline, an excel spreadsheet.
And I see it as a mystical destination to be arrived at by fairy dust and magic.
Mysteriously? This has not been a seamless working relationship.
Itās mysterious because I CANNOT UNDERSTAND how anyone fails to appreciate the necessity of fairy dust.
A month ago, when I wrote about ourĀ front porch stain debacle, I said that this house had killed my aesthetic martyr.Ā But in revisiting this bathroom renovation, I realizeĀ thisĀ was the specific project that did it.
I caredĀ so muchĀ about every detailā¦ and there were so many of them.
This bathroom, for me, brought out some kind of religious fervor…Ā An exhaustive dedication to my ideal design.
I spent entire months of my life immersed in tile. And grout.Ā And crown molding.Ā And toilets and sinks and faucets.Ā And searching for my ideal, giant medicine cabinet.Ā And then designing our own.
In retrospect, the amount of time I spent thinking about marble vs. porcelain tile, and water shutoffs, and faucet handlesā¦ is utterly stupid.
Utterly. Stupid.
However, I have a high appreciation for my own stupidity.Ā Because now that itās all over?Ā It kind of looks like it was worth it.
I love you, subway tile.Ā I love you, shiny porcelain.Ā I love you, giant mirror.āØ Ā I love you, crown molding. Ā I love you, chrome. Ā I love you, transom window.
I love you heated floor. I love you, giant medicine cabinet.āØ Ā I love you faux marble tile that does not make me nine kinds of OCD.
I love you, bathroom. Ā I especially love that you are finished.
Related posts:
- Want to know where I got my fixtures?Ā Hereās the list of bathroom design details.
- Looking for something else?Ā HereāsĀ an index of all the posts about the bathroom remodel.
January 1, 2014 @ 8:55 am
Hi! I guess I’m commenting on an old post…because I’ve finally succumbed (after reading your blog awhile) to going back and reading all the posts from the beginning! Fabulous addiction! š I LOOVE this bathroom remodel. You and Paul are a great team, and both sides so essential to a great finish like this – you are the detail and designer person and Paul is the “get it done” person!! Just think if he’d kept the sink and the toilet on opposite walls. I’d never even heard of that before! Anyhow. Love love love it. And I don’t think there’s any shame in projects taking a long time – great design takes thought and time (and thrifty finds, for those of us living in the real world with budgets – I mean unlike Restoration Hardware catalog designers apparently, haha)! š
January 30, 2014 @ 10:10 am
@Callie- that’s what happened to me! Some blogs are just so addictive right?
May 15, 2014 @ 10:24 pm
Holy cow! This is love at first sight for me – not just the bathroom, but you & your blog. I laughed out loud numerous times while reading this post. What a gift you have for writing. And your bathroom looks fabulous. Happy to be a new fan – following on Pinterest!
Warmly, Michelle
June 2, 2014 @ 1:38 pm
As with much of life, the devil is the details, and there are (as you stated) so many of them.
Do you have advise for how someone else might go through the same process in less time with less mental anguish?
September 16, 2014 @ 11:49 pm
Dear Victoria,
While some of your readers are in love with you and wish you lived on their block, I am your bathroom redo soulmate. How did I find you? I googled “porcelain floor tile marble lookalike”. How else?
I knew it when I first laid eyes on your “before” bathroom rug. You know, the target. My first step into the world of bathroom redo was to chuck that same rug. My heart soared like an eagle. Then I saw your sketch of the bathroom. It is my bathroom. It is blue with grey floor tiles and the makings of a do-it-yourselfer who has hopefully retired. It has a window in the shower (though made smaller at some point) and a toilet on the WRONG side. If I can’t move the toilet, then I’m going to have to move the door. Are you having deja-vu yet? No? Read on….
Keep in mind that I have only skimmed your blogs. In depth perusal will undoubtedly uncover other stuff-like dahlias-more on that later.
I do not live seven miles from Philadelphia. I live IN Philadelphia. My brother did not attend Penn State, I did–albeit a million years ago. I have already remodeled a Victorian with 33 rooms and 10 fireplaces. I have paid my redo dues. I am now in a downsized post Victorian. Half of my house could fit into my former living room. And while I love, love, love marble I am with you on the staining/cleaning/OCD aspect. How else would I have found you?
What and where is the crappy tile store?
Kathy
September 19, 2014 @ 8:16 am
Hey! Forgive my delayed responseā¦ I was out of town, and just let my email pile up.
I bought it in NJ, few miles over Ben Franklin (they had it in stock).
Tile Gallery
302 Crescent Boulevard,
Brooklawn, NJ
856-456-4777
In this post, I had an interaction with a reader who was going to another store near Franklin Mills (Monika’s comments) here:
http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/pleasant-surprise/
p.s.- 33 rooms and 10 fireplaces… WILL BE MINE. Eventually. Even if I have to rob a bank.
September 19, 2014 @ 3:02 pm
HAVING FUN IN 1910 WORKER HOUSING
Dear Victoria,
Thank you for your prompt reply. Age warps the meaning of prompt, I see. As for wanting that house, obviously you have put OCD cleaning of marble mosaic floor tiles in remission. Think about cleaning it. Think about hiring someone to clean it. Think about overseeing the person you hired to clean it. Think about how you are going to be able to afford to rebuild the 40’x12′ front porch. But you won’t have to put a roof on it. We did that for 50 grand. Bottom line: while I am amazed by doors that are 3.5’x8′ (ceilings 13.5′) and 2″ thick (NOT NOMINAL), I don’t miss them.
I did want to tell you that I nailed down the tile for my 5×10 bathroom floor. I am using 2″ white hex that will flow right into the walk-in, low barrier shower with frameless glass panel. I needed to use one flooring type to make the room appear larger. They will contrast shape-wise with the subway walls. Originally was going with marble stone pebbles, but too much grout.
I found some funky chunky frosted recycled nuggets in blues and greens for above the sink and in the shower niche. They will go nicely with the blue Avonite counter and integrated ramp sink.
So, do I want bamboo cabs, natural maple slab, or white?
October 8, 2014 @ 3:47 pm
How I love to read your blog! Not only does your wit bring wholesome joy to my heart, but also I get to live vicariously through you and Paul. Your approaches to this project so exactly mirror how my hubby are. We’ve strongly considered buying a project home (he’s a professional renovator) and whenever I feel sad that we haven’t I can come read your blog and realize that if we had done so the best case scenario is we would be divorced by now. I don’t know how you and Paul manage to not kill each other. My hubby and I are ready to kill each other over me throwing trash in the sink and him not closing the trash can lid. If we had undertaken what you have I think there would be some sort of resultant Chernobyl and/or mass extinction event generated by the mutual animosity.
December 31, 2014 @ 12:25 pm
Elizabeth,
I previously asked you about your bathroom light fixtures and you mentioned they provided lots of light (although a comment on the manufacturer’s website said they gave a harsh glare). I took the plunge and ordered two for above the vanity in our renovated main bathroom and couldn’t be happier! They provide lots of light and are pretty/classic-looking. Thanks for your honesty about them and your very entertaining blog!! Happy New Year~
April 24, 2015 @ 9:30 am
Lol! I got you beat. 2 years? Try 14. I have spent the last 14 years planning my master suite remodel. My husband always ends up spending the money on something else. Like a new garage, or new AC when the old craps out, or a new roof. Luckily I have not ripped anything up. But have had to live with a 1971 bathroom for far too long. Your bathroom is gorgeous, and worth the wait. Now you know how to make better, faster decisions. It’s all a learning process.
July 9, 2015 @ 1:13 am
I checked each picture in detail and it seems everything is done to perfection. What an achievement I should say š
October 14, 2015 @ 1:52 pm
Hello! I’m new to your blog and I’ve seen you mention that you’re an OCD cleaner… I would just call that an expert š I was wondering how you keep your white grout so pristine. We are replacing a bathroom from 1985 and the white grout and caulk has all changed color… Is it even possible to keep grout and caulk white? I love the “blinding white” look but I am fearful to execute b/c of discoloration issues. Do you have any advice? Can’t wait to read more of your blog- It’s so timeless and you have great taste. I didn’t notice til I read the comments that this bath was done in 2012.
October 24, 2015 @ 10:28 pm
I love your bathroom and your honesty! We are remodeling a 125 year old church to be our home, moving from 3000 square feet to 1300 and let me tell you, it has not made our life peaceful! BTW I love the shower handle thing-a-mig-gig, it is gorgeous!
March 21, 2016 @ 2:25 pm
Well I have to say that it’s comforting knowing there are other neurotic Reno nuts out there with control issues! Our original Reno got to the 85% completion mark when I abruptly decided it was all terribly wrong and embarked on Reno 2.0 Yep, it’s been about 6 years and the second version is still waiting to be finished. If I wait long enough I could just gently ease into version 3.0 and no one would likely notice in the midst of all the chaos of DIYing.
May 12, 2016 @ 9:07 am
Hi Victoria! You (and Paul) have created a beautifully timeless bathroom! Steve? Previous owner? Should have been paid in jelly beans. (I hope he’s not at work on another vintage house.) I made the discovery of your blog recently when it came up in a friend’s FB feed, and I was immediately hooked. I’m going back now, and reading ALL of your posts, because there is nothing I’d rather do than A. Laugh, and B. Live vicariously through you! I thought you might be interested to know where the biggest laugh occurred (for me) in this post. Right here! “You get the other role: project-irritant-and-captain-of-work-stoppage.” Seriously, I was wheezing! I’m not sure that should mean anything to you though, because recently I went to a movie with my daughter (on Mother’s Day,) and I noticed that I laughed heartily in places where others didn’t. But my daughter laughed too, so either it’s catching, or else I’ve passed something important on. Keep doing what you do! Loving it, in Texas!
August 11, 2016 @ 10:00 pm
Beautiful!
I am about to start on my bathroom renovation… I’ve been in my house for 5 years!! Saved so many ideas, tear sheets Eric/ now I can’t find any! Haha
Anyway- my house doesn’t have a shower- so that’s one of the things I’m puli tying in with a glass door Because- I LOVE my window over the bath tub!
I see that you had the same window over the bath with shower, how did you do that with the water issue??
Thanks
August 13, 2016 @ 8:56 am
Hey, I ended up writing a post about the window specifically!
http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/window-in-shower/
Good luck!!
September 7, 2016 @ 8:20 pm
I recently discovered your blog. I love it! I think I married Paul’s twin….except we are a MUCH older couple. In fact we’ve been married 41 years. I was a child bride….. I hope we make it to 42 since we are in the midst of our third home remodel. Everything takes longer than you think it should. We are older and have less patience, yet, we plod on. We seem to have the same roles regarding renovations. I’m the artist…he’s the plodding worker bee with lots of focus. I get distracted by pretty shiny things. I look forward to many enjoyable evenings with a glass of wine, as I read through 4 yrs worth of posts. By the way….I hope you guys are still married. Love the videos.
December 14, 2016 @ 8:59 am
about to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. Needed to see this today! bathroom remodelling is hard, but this post goes to show it pays off!
February 18, 2017 @ 10:02 am
Oh- this made me laugh. It is really refreshing to read about what a real renovation is really like. It’s not all 2 weeks and done with smiles and cheers and happy faces. Real fixing up is just plane crazy making! I know- been doing it for 3 years myself. Good luck in your next project.
August 11, 2017 @ 11:40 am
Clever use of space – the new bathroom looks so crisp. Its beautiful.
http://www.thislifeisbelle.com/
September 24, 2017 @ 11:47 am
Nice touch! It looks more than sweet! š
November 11, 2017 @ 10:44 pm
Where did you get that wonderful shower handle?