62 Comments

  1. Peazy Monellon
    February 25, 2015 @ 11:51 am

    So proud of you! (sniff…) 🙂

    Reply

  2. judy
    February 25, 2015 @ 12:02 pm

    Oh boy……..I remember your posts where you were unfamiliar with Auctions and now!!!!!

    Thankfully you have all the skills and a partner to pull off the latest flight of fancy and somehow the end result is Genius…..lovely…….fits perfectly into your décor and further endears you to all of us ,your friends and family and possibly everyone you meet. There is no way you have the slightest DNA element of Dummy. Magician absolutely……..Dummy? Absolutely not.

    Reply

  3. Sharon
    February 25, 2015 @ 12:04 pm

    You are my shero because you act out my impulsive thinking. I am still giggling. Love that you got the enamel box and the bookcase is to die for. Paul’s reaction is priceless. Thanks for sharing your escapades and the chuckle.

    Reply

  4. Flymoma42
    February 25, 2015 @ 12:23 pm

    Every time I read one of your blogs I think, “FINALLY, someone who thinks just like ME!” You validate me!!! Ummm, truthfully, we’re probably just victims of severe ADD/ADHD, but what the hell, look how much you get accomplished. TWO auctions at the same time? I’d have done it but never had the guts to admit it to anyone. Oh, and one more thing: NO INTERVENTION! I’m having too much fun reading about your adventures! Soldier on! You too, little troll!

    Reply

  5. chris aka monkey
    February 25, 2015 @ 12:38 pm

    you just plain dam crack me up xx

    Reply

  6. julian
    February 25, 2015 @ 1:08 pm

    Congratulations! I stood up and cheered when I won a crow-caller at an auction and was deemed the madman for the rest of the auction – sounds like you did super great.

    Reply

  7. Kristin
    February 25, 2015 @ 1:18 pm

    OMG. You know where you said this: “It is likely that this is also what meth addicts tell themselves: that they are mastering a skill.” I have a story for you. And it might be longer than a comment should be, but it’s SO worth it (at least, I think it is).

    OK, so. I used to be married to this guy who, it turns out, was a mess. He didn’t work (often) but I worked AND was going to college (in my 30s). During one of his periods of unemployment (after getting fired for stealing AND for buying the company owner’s teenaged son beer — could I even make this up?), his behavior became more and more erratic. So, at one point, he didn’t come home one night. When I woke up in the morning and realized he hadn’t come home, I was like, hmmm. Weird. But I didn’t freak out.

    So, off I went to work (at the prosecutor’s office). And then class (law school). I got home around 10. House was empty. Wow. Weird. (If I recall correctly, his cell was going straight to voicemail.) Now I was getting angry/slightly concerned. I wound up dozing, off and on, on the couch, so I would be right there, front and center, when he stumbled in the door. Ohhh, I was locked and loaded, totally ready for this confrontation. Because, clearly, he was having an affair (although I couldn’t imagine what type of woman he could manage to seduce at this point).

    Around 6am, he stepped through the door, and I was dozing on the couch. He tried to tiptoe past me. I popped up and was like, “Whoa!! Where are YOU going?” And he was like (I kid you not): “I’m just stopping by to shower and change, someone’s waiting on me. You go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you.” (I’m paraphrasing.) I was like, “WHAT?? You haven’t been home in TWO days and you’re here to get changed?? You’re kidding, right?”

    He then copped an attitude and was muttering something about how he was no longer going to live under my thumb, and how I was a control freak (I don’t keep people under my thumb, but I might be a control freak). For some reason (lack of sleep, being overworked, the stress of law school, having a horrible husband, who knows?), I started crying and was blabbering about how I knew he was having an affair.

    He was stunned, and immediately softened, and sat next to me, to comfort me and assure me he was not cheating on me. He was like, “Oh my God, how could you think that?? Oh my God…” So I was like (yeah, I know I say “like” a lot), “But what else could be going on when you don’t come home for two days?” And he goes…

    “Well, if you really want to know…I’ve been learning how to make meth.”

    *pregnant pause*

    “You…are…making…meth. You’ve decided to become a ******* meth cook? While I go to work…AT THE PROSECUTOR’S OFFICE? AND AM PREPARING TO BECOME A LAWYER?”

    He said, “No, it’s not like that. See?!?! I knew you’d be all judgmental! This is why I don’t tell you things!! No, I’m learning the “science” of it. Like the chemistry behind it. A recipe. Not some pathetic meth lab in a hotel room. This is much more than that.”

    Indeed it is. It’s called “grounds for divorce.”

    P.S. You’re my Craigslist/auction idol. 🙂

    Reply

    • Sherry
      February 25, 2015 @ 6:00 pm

      Great story!

      Reply

  8. JEDDA
    February 25, 2015 @ 1:33 pm

    Don’t you just love box lots? It takes some serious shady scrounging through the boxes before the early morning bidding to find the prizes, though. You can get great stuff for just a few bucks and then find out that the people bidding against you wanted the stuffed pink poodle or the dozen coat hangers and you can sell them on the spot, keep the thingy you wanted and make money, as you found out. My china, etched stemware, fancy serving bowls and table linens were all gleaned from box lots. I toast my holiday table recalling how cheap it all was and what fun the treasure hunt was, too. Auctions are the mother lode. Love to hear your adventures. Have fun and keep at it.

    Reply

  9. Becky
    February 25, 2015 @ 2:41 pm

    I love this so much. Nothing like some good antique pieces from the 80s and a dish rack to complete the auction process.

    Reply

  10. maggie b
    February 25, 2015 @ 2:48 pm

    What a find! What a great deal on the enameled pan! However, I must know what the book case ended up costing!

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      February 25, 2015 @ 6:12 pm

      $180/$217 w/ tax and buyer’s fee… (I had to stick it in a caption because there was not room for one more word in this story.)

      Reply

      • maggie b
        February 26, 2015 @ 8:33 am

        What a bargain! You are the auction queen!

        Reply

  11. Jan Garon
    February 25, 2015 @ 3:30 pm

    You are absolutely the funniest! And you scored big time! Can’t wait to see your next adventure!

    Reply

  12. Amber
    February 25, 2015 @ 4:46 pm

    your blog is an endless source of entertainment to me – if I lived closer I would make you my best friend lol 🙂 p.s. i LOVE the enamel bin, and the bookcase (are you selling the white one with the cake plates?)

    Reply

  13. Patty/NS
    February 25, 2015 @ 4:51 pm

    OMG we are soul sisters, a country between us, I just know it! I am in Craigslist and Kijiji rehab now, forbidden to bring one more thing through the ‘effing door. So I live through your adventures now. Besides, I’ve aged and can’t haul it like I used to. You GO girl!!!!

    Reply

  14. Teresa
    February 25, 2015 @ 4:52 pm

    The acquisition troll – that cracks me up every time. You need to describe her to a police sketch artist so we can see what she looks like. Love the bookcase & the enamel breadbox. You and the acquisition troll win the gold for the Auction Olympics.

    Reply

  15. Wilma Galanos
    February 25, 2015 @ 5:32 pm

    Thank you so much much for your wonderful humor. I do look forward to your posts.

    Reply

  16. Sherry
    February 25, 2015 @ 6:02 pm

    Great post, as always. And this time some of the comments are almost as funny. Love it!

    Reply

  17. Nancy
    February 25, 2015 @ 6:46 pm

    hahaha, you are hysterical ! I pay a guy to bid for me, I am awful at auctions!

    Reply

  18. Kate S.
    February 25, 2015 @ 6:51 pm

    I would normally be censorious about what seems like haphazard acquisition of things, but in light of the fact that that bookcase is AH-MAZING, I am in favor of your continued auction-shopping. If we found items like that at our local auctions, I may just end up with an acquisition troll of my own!

    Reply

  19. Rita C at Panoply
    February 25, 2015 @ 6:51 pm

    Nice finds!
    Oh my, I know EXACTLY all the things you have described here. I get so wound up on auction days that I literally cannot sleep those nights. My mind continuously goes through the day’s events, I recount all that I bought, and I’ve even been known to get out of bed to check my sales list if I can’t reconcile it while lying in bed.

    Multi-ring auctions are the worst (except for traveling back & forth from auction houses, lol). You’re right – it’s so much more fun to be there and bid vs the absentee.

    Lucky you they didn’t make you take the 1983 stereo system! We’ve all been there, done that. And isn’t it a blast when you sell right after a win and make $$?! I’ve done that too – what a rush (or, second guessing yourself as to why someone else wants it, oh hey, maybe I want it, that would make a really cool collection sort of way).
    Rita C at Panoply

    Reply

  20. Stephanie Hobson
    February 25, 2015 @ 7:36 pm

    I want a cane. A really cool cane, maybe topped with a silver skull, or an eagle, or something else just as splendid. I am getting to the age where I can justify having one, so I can poke my grandkids (and other peoples grandkids) with it when they are unruly.

    Reply

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